11 replies to this topic

[mom4hope]

My son who is only 19, recently was in a major car accident and has a T6-T7 injury. This accident is 3 months ago and Yes he is doing well physically but i am so worried about him emotionally. At the time of the accident he seemed to be so strong, but as time has passed and he is home,i am becomimg very worried. I have been told that this is normal with any greiving, but can't seem to say the right things. I have asked him to try therapy, but he feels that no body can relate to him unless they have walked in his shoes. I have tried to find a therapist with the same injury but have had no luck. if anyone can give me any advice my ears are open. Thanks

[greybeard]

Hi. Welcome to the forum. Get your son on to this site. He'll see he's not alone, and he'll get what is probably the best help and advice available anywhere.

[wheelinmom]

im so sorry to hear about your son. after my wreck, i remember being pretty hard on my mom. moms are suppose to fix everything, unfortunately thats not so. i know how frustrated you must be. have him get on here and vent, we can relate. there is alot of information on here that he needs to know. theres alot of smart ppl and a few smart asses on here (just kiddin). this is our safehaven, its where we can come and vent, chat, ask for help or advice, be mad, be glad, be whatever you need to be, and you wont be judged. we even have a nurse or two on here. oh ya, we have all ages, some even younger than your son. hang in there mom, it will get better. try to get him on here. good luck.

[Smileyblue]

Welcome to the site! It is the best thing since chocolate! It really is a lifesaver! So the sooner you get him on here with his peers, the sooner he can start getting the answers he's so desperately looking for..

It is not only good for him, but it is great for you too! Just because its his injury, it doesn't mean that it doesn't affect you too.. We have a fabulous support area for spouses, caregivers, parents, and friends where you will get the support that you need during this time of coming to terms with your new lives/roles..

Wishing you both the best of luck and a speedy healing process.. ;-)

[jenny407]

Welcome to the forum! I agree with the others: This is a very good place to be for information and support of all sort, for your son and yourself, too.

3 months seems a very short time. It's very early days yet for him, and he's very young. I'm sure others can offer advice on what to do or say.

Still all this is not easy for all of you. You have my sympathy.

Jenny

[xxm]

Dear Mother,

Three months is very, very short time for him to accept his new life.

He do needs time !


I needed three years to realize that I'll not walk again and I must continue with my education on a wheelchair. I owe all this to my mother - she was both compationed and strong.
So your attitude in this new situation is the most important for his emotrional and mental recovery. In no way you should give signs of grieve or pity.
Teach him to look in the future not in the past. No one has ever been able to change something that has happened.
Don't press him but keep a straight line that self-pity is equal to self-destruction.

Welcome to the forum and tell your son about it.
You have my sympathy and unrestanding.

Rudy

[sh1wn]

We all work thru things at our own pace, as others have said give him some time.
If he is anything like me there will be times when he may say/do things that he doesn't mean to or understand why he is doing, he really doesn't mean anything by this so just forgive him but let him him know it's not ok, he will come around soon.

[The Black Sheep]

It all takes a lot of time, and I remember right after my injury (13) I was pretty rough on both my parents. It took me about a year before I actually felt the need to socialize outside of my family again. It'll come to him, and like someone said above, it's not just him adapting, it's also you and your family. There are a lot of young people here, along with a lot of people who were injured when they were young, and I think if he could come and chat with some of us, that sort of relate-ability might help too. It's online, we don't intimidate, we talk about everything from hair-style to bowel movements, and it's all pretty much anonymous. So there's a bit of comfort in that.

Welcome to the forum, and I wish you the best of luck in this new hand of cards.

[Redish]

Hi

Try this link, it may give you a better understanding of what your son and perhaps even you are going through

http://www.businessb...es_of_grief.htm

Accepting the situation will take time but it does get better, simply be patient and take it day by day.It's still early days.

R

[McTavish]

Welcome, and you have come to the right place, you will love the people on this site they are just wonderful. I know how your son is feeling at the moment as it is very early days for him. Looking back it took me about a year before I was in good form after my injury, so it is going to take him some time to come to terms with it. The thing is never to give up as all SCI's are different and nobody knows how much he is going to recover. I believe in mind over matter. Take care.

[Tetracyclone]

Three months is like it just happened. You both need time. The US is so crazy to even let people go home that early. In Taiwan I was in rehab for 6 months and they wanted to keep me longer but i wanted to be home.

Take care of yourself first and talk to the many other mothers on this site.

[Edinburgh Colin]

At 3 months he'll be struggling to come to terms with what has happened to him. It really is very early, and this is a long journey.

I'm with the others, if you can get him to do a bit of surfing on here and maybe ask a question or two he may not feel so quite alone and isolated, probably the best source of help I could possibly suggest.

Same goes for you as you are in this as well, ask us for help and we will inevitably spout forth with opinions and suggestions to try and assist you on your journey too.