3 replies to this topic

[ROYALTY]

Hello everyone.

I recently joined group, but havent posted much. Today I feel the need to share.

Generally, I'm a very laid back person, but for the past 3 months or so I feel a dark cloud over my head . I feel like I'm slipping into depression. Since my injury in '03 I've turned away rom the friends (the few that stuck by me), and became a loner.

Now I'm seriously lonely. I'm angry, bored, and sad about the structure of my life. I've been anti-social for so long I dont know how to befriend people. the most i do is shop. I admit to being a shopaholic, but in defencse i give away a lot of clothes as well. lately shopping hasnt been as much fun as it used to be beccause im bored w/ it.

I'm in college, but only there to occupy time. I drive, but don't go out much. I'm in my room most of day. I live in brand new home, but stay confined 2 one room; even for dinner.

I have other personal issues that accompany my SCI, but havent found anyone whom to share this with. Someone I can truly trust. Maybe one day I will. We'll I'll end here enuff complaining.

Please keep me in your thooughts/prayers.

thanx much,

Jay

[mttb14]

Hi Jay,

You have come to the right place to learn to make new friends, and friends that will understand a lot of your problems, but we all speak out truthfully about how we see a situation.

Have you tried to phone or text some of your old friends. If they stood by you, and you distanced yourself from them, explain to them that it was a bad time, you had to learn to like yourself all over again and it has taken you a long time to sort out your emotions. If they are true friends they will understand, if not then you haven't lost anything because you didn't really have it in the first place.

Spending won't help your situation, it will end up causing you money problems. Try smiling at people you meet, it is amazing how easily that helps you start up a conversation, but you have to give off a signal of wanting to make friends, or if you give off a signal for people to stay away, they will.

Hope this helps

Maria

[dom]

hi jay i'm Dan welcome, i read your letter and thought a lot about what you had to say, its difficult to advise you what to do to change your thoughts/situation for the better and i don't pretend to have an answer
Most of us on this site have experienced similar reactions but all of us cope differently and it does'nt mean we're stronger people just trying to adapt to what life has thrown at us
I don't know your life story but i'm sure if you had friends before you must be a likeable person,because your destiny has changed in a way that you did'nt anticipate does'nt mean that life can't be satisfying in other ways
The old and sometimes corny sayings like 'light at end of tunnel' and 'time heals' etc are too quick to say and don't 'cut' with how you are feeling now
if you read this thread i would ask you not to give up totally on your nearest friends/family, try a new direction even if you make some mistakes along the way it does;nt matter and don't dwell on bad thoughts as that will make you more 'down' I was injured in 01 and am still 'getting better
what are your interests? as you say you have a house can drive and go to college these are big plusses and will give you a stable base for taking a new direction in life
best of luck and keep in touch

[Joed]

First I want to welcome you to the boards, ROYALTY!

My main injury was in '03 too, and I find that I go in cycles, as far as isolating behaviors, staying home too much, etc., then I'll go through spells where I'm active and want to be around people. Having a young child at home kind of forces me out of the isolation tendency too. (I'm not suggesting that giving birth is the answer, however! )

Many times, the best medicine in these instances is to go out and help other people who need it. It helps to take our minds off of our own situation, and become more aware of the power we all have to make a difference in someone else's life. Just putting yourself out there will open up opportunities for friendships.

Re-connect with old friends, where possible. I'm guessing that many of them are just waiting for you to indicate to them that you're ready.

Coming here to talk with like-injured people is a good step toward re-connecting with your life again. I hope you'll find benefit from the forums, and you'll discover that your lonliness and anger will lessen over time.

Keep fighting the good fight! I'd be happy to talk with you anytime.

Edited by Joed, 31 May 2006 - 12:25 AM.