9 replies to this topic

[Krystal]

Hello all,
My mother was injured in a car accident three weeks ago that left her with a C5-C6 complete paralysis. I know that road ahead is going to be a long and difficult one for her and I am getting little to no information about what this disability is and what her future capabilities are. Im considering dropping classes this semester so someone can keep a full time eye on her, im at the hospital every day for an average of 5 to 8 hours but it doesn't feel like enough.
I dont know what to tell her or how to encourage her other than being there for her and being positive
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Krystal

[McTavish]

Wellcome Krystal, Thinking back to my own injury it took me a good year to return to the person I was before injury. I went through a state of deep depression which lasted for about three months and then one day, I don't know why, I knew I just had to get back on a positive note and start working on getting some stability back into my life.
My family were great in all of this, and like you they were at my bedside constantly, I realize now how hard it was for them too. I know now that I was a bit selfish, but it is so hard to come to terms with everything having to be done for you when the week before you could do it all for yourself. No one will know how your mother will progress as there are no two SCIs the same, but talking from experience she has a hard road ahead of her and she will have to be willing to work hard.
I am nearly six years post injury now and living and loving life to the full, so hopefully your Mum will get to that point in time. In the meantime our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
You will get great help from this site as the people on it are just wonderful, so if you have any questions do not hesitate to ask as someone will have the answer for you. Take Care.

[little sis]

Hi Krystal,

Yes, this site is fab and the support and advice you'll get will be invaluable so keep posting !

My brother had his accident last summer and I understand the feeling of not knowing what on earth to do for the best - this is the steepest learning curve I've ever known !

I guess all you can do is what feels right at the time for you and yours.

Take care,
Ema

[Soryfam]

Hi Krystal. I agree with what the others say. It is tough to know what to do and say. As far as dropping classes for a semester, it might be helpful to both you and your mom, but she also may be unhappy that she caused you to leave school. I'd try to talk to her about it and what she needs from you in general. Please come back and talk whenever, whether it's happy news or just having to vent.

Best wishes, Sandy

[LaurenP]

Hi Krystal, this site truly is fantastic. I've only been here a short time myself but if you have a question, concern or just need to talk, someone is there. As far as the injury to your mom, it took me a good year to really start to get back to the person I recognized. Support from my family was huge in getting me there. I think it would be a good idea to take time to be with her, you can always makeup the semester but you can't make up the time lost when she needs you most. The road ahead for her will be difficult,days when she just feels like quitting, lord knows I felt it. It will be hard, progression will be measured in inches, not feet but with the help of my family I was able to get back to living a full life. SCI is cruel, being there is the best thing you can do for her. Stay positive even when the times are toughest, patience is the operative word. My prayers are with you and your mom, God bless you.

[Tetracyclone]

Krystal,

Also, many injuries are said to be complete, the after a month, or 4, the diagnosis changes when it is found a person can DO something. Don't give up on encouraging your mom to try new things. I agree that in the US a patient needs a family member there nearly full time to advocate for them and keep them oriented.

[wheeliebear75]

Being there for her ups & downs to hold her hand whether she can squeeze back or not isn't as important as having family there to hold & squeeze hers & someone to talk to & advocate for her.....getting things she needs done NOW vs. when ever they get around to it! Everyone is different; both in the way the body heals AND in how they the individual is able to adjust. And 3wks is still very early in....there is the possibility that her condition may be changed to an incomplete status with some gain in sensation or motor function. For me my adjustment came later on down the line......a few yrs after my accident....probably around 5 or so? But I think isolation had a LOT to do with being so miserable; I got injured in 1990 but the ADA hadn't been implemented yet so I had to deal with things being much less accessible to me.....thanks to ADA & the internet & can get out & about & go more places & do more things. Being cooped up in the hospital room sucks ass like you wouldn't believe.....I always looked forward to the days where my Mom could take me & I could eat my lunch out in a courtyard of the hospital with my mom & sister. If she's getting down/depressed getting out even just in a courtyard may be a welcome treat.....you never know how wonderful things like sun on your face or the wind in your hair are til you can't do those things whenever you want. Please keep us posted on her progress & if you need a good cry/vent this is the perfect place for it all.

[Krystal]

Hi again everyone!
I just wanted to post and thank you all for your excellent advice!
I did take time off school to handle Mom's affairs and to act as a patient advocate during her 6 month hospitalization. It something I think she really needed and everyone's support here affirmed what I knew was the right thing to do.
Thank you again!
Krystal

[goose]

Hey Krystal

I'm glad you was in a position so that you was able to take off and help your mom. I'm sure she appreciated it and was also a peace of mind for you just being there and knowing what was going on. The first few months are the scariest...the fear of the unknown. How is your mom doing? Are you ready to return to school? I bet the daily task of going to school will be so much easier for you now. After witnessing real tragedy, homework and term papers won't seem so demanding. I hope you can now relax alittle and enjoy school.

Don't forget to get your mom to join the forum. She'll learn so much more here from real experiences than from the doctors or nurses. Also a good safe place to blow alittle steam!

Edited by goose, 19 September 2011 - 05:31 AM.

[biggdoggpa]

I agree with goose!!! I am AB and after seeing what my friend went through and people on this forum went through well lets just say there are very strong people here who can help you and who can help your mom!! my hats off to all the strong people here who are all so willing to help!! truly good people here!! and priceless info!!!