5 replies to this topic

[ashleycodyday]

ok so im looking for any advice i can get. heres my story. i was born in 1986 and in 1989 my dad was in a skyscraper accident when is harness snapped. im unsure how far he fell. i have seen him maybe 7 times and this was as a young girl. his aunt has had "gardianship" (i guess you would call it). she denied i was his kid and i have no idea why a dna test was never done. as i know the accident left him a "tube fed quadriplegic"

as i have gotten older i think more and more about him. in 2002 when i was 15 i received a call from tyler from an aunt saying they read in the paper my dad was lowered into a whirlpool with a broken thermostat and unable to call out for help. he was left in there 10 min. before they figured out what was wrong. an hr later after he was transfered at a burn unit in dallas the water temp was at 115.2 degrees. i tryed to call anyone i could find with info. noone would tell me anything over the phone. i had no way to get there. i felt helpless. i have over the past few years tryed to contact his aunt but all the number i have called and noone called me back. i finally contacted his brother and was told he has not seen him in almost 12 yrs. his aunt kept him on the move.. is what he said. this was 2 yrs. ago. now i have contacted legal advice today and called once again to tell his brother and he gave me the aunts number he knew by heart. his hole story changed when i said attorney. i even called every nuring home i thought he may be at and out of the 12 only one place said they couldnt give the information out over the phone.. im guessing he is there.
i stll have not received a call back from his aunt... but i will keep trying.

i want to know if i have rights if i am his kid.. what to expect when i do finally get to see him... what state he might be in.. anything to help me...
thanks for taking time to read this if you do...
ashley

[nomis]

Welcome ashleycodyday.
That's a sad predicament for you to be in. Others here are more authoritive regarding law, but I'd think you either need his agreement that you are his daughter (which obviously isn't easy to obtain) or you'd need DNA evidence - which also is not easy for you to obtain.

It's mighty strange behaviour being exhibited by his aunt. Maybe she thinks she is protecting him in some way. I imagine it would not only give him delight by meaning in life if he came to know you.

I hope someone here comes up with some useful information for you to succeed in your quest.

[ashleycodyday]

thanks so much for taking time to read my story. and yeah his aunt may be but my mom told me my dad and his aunt did not like eachother at all. she didnt agree with the choices he made for himself. i think it all boils down to her control. i could be wrong but i would think she would want to know also. i think if i am his daughter i will be the closest person to him and she may not be able to make all decisions. i may be wrong but i hope to find out. if i was his aunt i would want everyone who loved my dad to be in his life. not just me. he has been through so much and i know he needs love. we shall see. once again thank you for the support.

[Smileyblue]

This poor man seems to have been through hell and back! And for his aunt to be withholding his family members from him, she definitely does not have his best interests at heart! I don't think that would be too hard to prove.. As for being his daughter, now there's another story.. I think you might be able to get a court ordered DNA sample if your mother gives an affidavit that he is your father and can prove that they were at least in close proximity to one another at the approximate time of your conception..

I'm no lawyer or anything (but I do watch a lot of "Law and Order".. Lol) but if you're serious about this, you can accomplish anything! Already having an attorney is a major step in the right direction..

I wish you much luck and tenacity..

;-)

PS... Welcome to the site.. You'll find many friendly, helpful, and understanding people around here.. ;-)

[ashleycodyday]

Smileyblue, on 09 March 2011 - 01:55 PM, said:

This poor man seems to have been through hell and back! And for his aunt to be withholding his family members from him, she definitely does not have his best interests at heart! I don't think that would be too hard to prove.. As for being his daughter, now there's another story.. I think you might be able to get a court ordered DNA sample if your mother gives an affidavit that he is your father and can prove that they were at least in close proximity to one another at the approximate time of your conception..

I'm no lawyer or anything (but I do watch a lot of "Law and Order".. Lol) but if you're serious about this, you can accomplish anything! Already having an attorney is a major step in the right direction..

I wish you much luck and tenacity..

;-)

PS... Welcome to the site.. You'll find many friendly, helpful, and understanding people around here.. ;-)

yes my mom and him were togeather for a while. they were on and off at times but when i was a baby he took me me all the time and i was no secret.

so how would i go about getting the court ordered dna test? would i have to try to hire an attorney?... i dont have that kind of money is the problem..lol.... thanks for responding!!!

[Tetracyclone]

Ashley,

I understand your interest in your Dad and realize how difficult this situation must be for both you and your father, emotionally speaking.

Still, since the man has been in nursing homes for 22 years his concerns may have narrowed to simple daily challenges, like how to get the nurses to take care of him.
It is worth the trouble to obtain the right to see him. Legal aid society might help. I caution you to attend well the rest of your life. At your age your focus should be on building a career, improving your skills, and learning to build good relationships.

Your Dad is part of your past. Work to see him, but do not let it become the center of your life.