91 replies to this topic

[strength101]

Spinner, on 20 May 2011 - 11:28 AM, said:

I met my husband long after his injury so I can't relate directly to what the spouse in the video is dealing with. That being said, I cried while I was watching it - for both the husband and wife. They both suffered huge losses and each has their own mourning to do.

I met my boyfriend long after his accident as well, but I don't think that the difficulties go away. There are struggles every single day, for both the person with SCI and the spouse/caregiver. It takes a strong couple and a strong relationship to make it together.

[StanMan]

quadpartner, on 25 November 2011 - 11:20 PM, said:

people seem to be forgetting one thing . . . if a carer finds it all just too traumatic, they can just get up and walk away. I'm amazed that people seem to hate doing things for the person they are supposed to love. Surely it's the best thing in the world to do things for the person you love?

Yes, but again, coming from both sides (although my therapy has been superb, and despite being a t-12 complete, I'm "walking" full-time in braces), I still maintain that it's much more difficult to be a carer. My grandmother is getting weaker now, and it's a huge pain to have to do things for her. I love her, but I hate having to sacrifice my whole life (free time is largely spent in therapy) to keep her going. It makes me feel guilty, but I know I'll breathe a huge sigh of relief when she finally dies, so I guess I'm lucky that the one I'm caring for is elderly. I can't imagine having to do it for someone who could go on living for who knows how long! I'd have to kiss my life goodbye. I really, really love her, but I don't think it's wrong to want to live a productive life myself.