Help
Over the years, and after marriage, divorce, and a couple of bad realtionships, I had basically come to the conclusion that there was no such thing as finding "the one." You know, the person who completes you. The one we are meant to be with for the rest of our lives? In fact, I used to joke with my daughter that is there was such a man out there for me, surely he must have been run-over by a truck when he was kid and killed.. Morbid humor, I know...lol
Anyway, after meeting "ParaGuy" and connecting on so many levels, (Actually, we got along so well that I never gave the fact that he was wheelchair-bound a second thought ) our relationship has continued to grow. My daughter came across an e-mail he had sent me not too long ago that I had saved, in which he said,
" Do we have to feel foolish for feeling the way we do? Maybe we just got really lucky. It is possible
you know. I do see you for who you really are. You are everything that I could have imagined and
more. You are a woman that deserves to be treated with respect and admiration. I absolutely adore
you. If you give me your heart, I will guard and protect it with my life."
Tears filled up in my daughter's eyes and she hugged me tightly and said, "You were wrong mom, the man you were meant to be with was not hit and killed by a truck, he just had a motorcycle accident..."
I came to this website looking to empower myself with information and knowledge. My worst fear was not dealing with the present and future physical issues of his being wheelchair-bound; my worst fear was saying or doing something insensitive or stupid, and making an ass out of myself. What I have found here has been wonderful kind people, who have let others into the most personal aspects of their lives, simply to help people understand, cope, and achieve things that may have seemed impossible.
I know my relationship with "ParaGuy" will not always be a bed roses. I know we will have issues to come up that will test the strength of our relationship many times in the future. But I cannot imagine my life without this wonderful, caring, loving man beside me...
For those who are curious: "ParaGuy" is paraplegic as the result of a motorcycle accident 13 years ago, though I dont recall the specific location of his injury --perhaps T4-6? He can use his arms and has feeling in his chest, but not his stomach muscles or below. Anyway, he was very upfront about the fact that he was in a wheelchair and that he did not need nor want a care-giver. He just wanted someone to accept him for who he was, etc. He has never made me feel the least uncomfortable around him and has always been very understanding about explaining abilities and such. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word and a true man among men. He asked me a week or so ago, how I felt about him and the fact that he was in a wheelchair. I was confused for a moment about what he was asking, and then I realized he was looking for whether or not I could accept him as he was (I have my blonde moments..lol). I smiled widely at him and gave him a hug, saying, "Some men have two legs and some men have two wheels. There isn't any real difference that I can see, only a different perspective.."
Thanks again to all of those who have posted. You have helped educate me through your personal stories of triumph and pain to achieve a better understanding of what it means to be both in the chair and out. You have my deepest gratitude
Posted 12 January 2007 - 06:08 PM
.....good luck
