11 replies to this topic

[jane]

hi,

i am going through a rather interesting and difficult time - i have split up with my husband of and have a new relationship with a wonderful person who has been incredibly supportive for me for the last 6 years. As a result i have lost my job (the Church don't take kindly to this kind of thing!) and so has he, so here i am trying to go through a divorce without it getting difficult for my children (who are brilliant), no job, no money because my husband is not giving me any anymore, and because he is still living in the house i can't claim any income related benefits.

on top of that having to see a cardiologist because of ongoing chest pain, my pain and mobility have been getting worse for a while.

anyone got any advice?

[greybeard]

Hi Jane.
Sorry you´re having a hard time. Try asking specific questions. Someone may have answers for you.

[Tatiana]

I cant offer any worthy advice but i can empathise with you. It doesent sound like you need to have financial worries on top of everything else.

I dont understand why the church is not tolerant of such things.....Is it not meant to be that we have loving and tolerant God? If HE can be forgiving then why not the church?? I never understand that mentalilty.

Be strong....and keep smiling....things will change for you im sure. Have you taken advice from a solicitor, sounds like you could do with some and you should be entitled to legal aid?

All the best :-)

[ClaraTaylor]

Whose house is it? Yours? Both of yours? I would suggest a trip over to your local CAB and see if they can help.

[Tetracyclone]

I too hope a solicitor can help. Meanwhile, treasure every breath, knowing this too shall pass. I take it you worked for the church?

It will be a pleasure to change jobs!

[pistol_pete]

How the hell can they sack you for splitting up with your husband?
Unless it's stated specifically in your contract you should get them for unfair dismissal.

[lavenderthistle]

not any useful advice aside from.....just breathe. Life is crap sometimes but it usually turns out alright. I've had friends sacked for "shacking up" while working church jobs especially Catholics. At times it seems like when it rains it pours but I've always had it clear up. Just knowing you aren't alone may help.

[nomis]

It's hard for you now and you are going to have to go through it but there are positives and one appears to be your own attitude. You seem to be approaching this rationally and caring of yourself and those around you.

Tough times bring out truths and one of those appears to be the discovery that the church you were associated with is not a compassionate church. Your life is more honest without them.

Ahead of you, in the future, is the solution to your situation. It will unfold in its due time. Have faith in your process. Life is teaching you new things. And you have the love of your children and partner. Good things will happen.

[Lucydog]

Wise words from Nomis.
Give me a shout if you fancy a chat, ok?

[wheelzoffortune]

Tatiana, on 26 May 2011 - 02:40 PM, said:

I dont understand why the church is not tolerant of such things.....Is it not meant to be that we have loving and tolerant God? If HE can be forgiving then why not the church?? I never understand that mentalilty.

I feel the same way. I will never understand their way of thinking.

[wheeliebear75]

Hope hugs & warm welcome can help soften some of this blow for you.

Others have already put it so well.....+ I'm a bit too loopy to make much sense at the moment anyway!

[scatty14]

jane, on 26 May 2011 - 01:53 PM, said:

hi,

i am going through a rather interesting and difficult time - i have split up with my husband of and have a new relationship with a wonderful person who has been incredibly supportive for me for the last 6 years. As a result i have lost my job (the Church don't take kindly to this kind of thing!) and so has he, so here i am trying to go through a divorce without it getting difficult for my children (who are brilliant), no job, no money because my husband is not giving me any anymore, and because he is still living in the house i can't claim any income related benefits.

on top of that having to see a cardiologist because of ongoing chest pain, my pain and mobility have been getting worse for a while.

anyone got any advice?

Hello,I am in similar position and found my mobility has decreased in the last few years. Sorry to hear about the chest pains, is it related to your neck at all? I have chest pains related to my neck.

I am so sorry to hear you are going through a divorce, its so difficult to go through. On the positive note, its great you have a supportive partner. Your husband being in the house must be sooo difficult. Things will get better, be patient, remember you have support.
I sadly lost all a few years back and cant see me ever having another relationship or many of the other things I lost. Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.