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Have You Accepted Your Injury?




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68 replies to this topic

Poll: How are you coping with a spinal cord injury? (204 member(s) have cast votes)

Just as every spinal cord injury is different, so are everyones ways of coping. So, how are you coping?

  1. I have adjusted to my injury, and live my life as best I can. (58 votes [28.43%])

    Percentage of vote: 28.43%

  2. I have not yet adjusted to my injury, and am not coping well. (11 votes [5.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.39%

  3. I have accepted my injury, live my life, and am content, not waiting for a cure. (62 votes [30.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 30.39%

  4. I have not accepted my injury, and have put my life on hold whilst waiting for a cure. (9 votes [4.41%])

    Percentage of vote: 4.41%

  5. I look back at my life before my injury, but cannot move on and see no future with this injury. (11 votes [5.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.39%

  6. I look back at my life before my injury with fondness, but look forward in a positive frame of mind. (53 votes [25.98%])

    Percentage of vote: 25.98%

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#1 Apparelyzed

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 02:56 PM

Having a spinal cord injury has many facets to it, not just the technical medical side, but the psychological side as well.

The psychological side of living with a spinal cord injury is a bit like peeling an onion, there are many layers, and as you get to the heart of it, there will be many tears.

Understanding your injury does help in some respects for some people, in to coming to terms with their injury. For others, coping can be denile of the injury, which spurs them into action in making the best of their lives.

Some people can not see that there is still a life worth living with paralysis, but hopefully, time helps, and adjustments can be made to make life tolerable, and for some, very fulfilling.

So, this Poll is to see how you are coping, or not, with a spinal cord injury.

Simon.

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#2 Joed

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 03:25 PM

My SCI has left me with more function than most members here, but I've had the neuro-deficit all my life, straight out of the gate, so it's probably been a little easier for me to come to terms overall.

I would guess that so much has to do with how flexible/adaptable to change one was before the injury, having the ability to begin where one is at that time and go on.

Having been raised by parents who were married nine times between them, and spending a total of years in hospital as a child....I learned to be adaptable early on. The scenery changes, but I remain the same, for the most part.

From reading other posts from members who have more physical losses than me, I'm even more convinced that the human spirit is indestructable. A rich life can still be had after a SCI...not just a facsimilie thereof, but one that is genuinely meaningful and productive. That one is difficult to believe for someone who is newly injured, and everyone moves along at their own pace in that respect.

One of the most important functions of this board, IMO, is the unique opportunity to speak to others from 'the other side' of the injury/recovery, and to let them know that they don't always have to see 'through a glass darkly', and that real, lasting joy can still be had in this life. That's my wish for everyone here.
* * * * * * * * *

Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.

#3 russ1

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 04:27 PM

Aren't 1 and 6 the same ? Ditto 2 and 5 ?

Discuss

Edited by russ1, 29 June 2006 - 04:27 PM.

Russ - T2complete

#4 Apparelyzed

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 05:45 PM

Aren't 1 and 6 the same ? Ditto 2 and 5 ?

Discuss



Hi Russ,

They are similar, but (2) indicates a lack of acceptance due to the injury, robbing one of independance, getting angry at what your body cannot do anatomicaly, whereas (5) indicates the inability to move forward due to only focusing on pre-injury memories.

Question 5 is similar to the "Peter Pan Effect" of being stuck in the mindset of your pre injury abilities, not being able to grow emotionally, and getting stuck in a rut, dwelling on what you used to be able to do, but can no longer.

Simon

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#5 crash

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 08:43 PM

I am 3months post-injury and my emotional state is like the ocean. Sometimes its flat, other times it gets windy and the small waves start coming, then, I'll see something, hear something, or do something that reminds me of something and BOOM! there's a tsunami headed my direction, then, after distracting myself the ocean goes flat again... and every now and then there is a beautiful sunset over the ocean and I get happy, but then I get an anxiety attack because psychologically it seems like being too cheerful for me right now messes with my head. Its like I'm forgetting that I have an sci, but inevitably I always have to come back to it. But I guess I can learn to be happy in the future.

"I look back on my life before the injury with fondness, and I try to be optimistic about the future."
"I get flustered when the carpet's dirty"

#6 LadyPilot

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Posted 30 June 2006 - 08:47 AM

I am 3months post-injury and my emotional state is like the ocean. Sometimes its flat, other times it gets windy and the small waves start coming, then, I'll see something, hear something, or do something that reminds me of something and BOOM! there's a tsunami headed my direction, then, after distracting myself the ocean goes flat again... and every now and then there is a beautiful sunset over the ocean and I get happy, but then I get an anxiety attack because psychologically it seems like being too cheerful for me right now messes with my head. Its like I'm forgetting that I have an sci, but inevitably I always have to come back to it. But I guess I can learn to be happy in the future.

"I look back on my life before the injury with fondness, and I try to be optimistic about the future."


Hey, I still get feelings like that after 24years. Something which has helped over those years was to get on and live my life and not waste it waiting for a cure. Of course I want there to be a cure, but for me personally being able to walk is no longer important.

Reading through the posts here I realise I have been extremely lucky in that movement and feelings returned enough for me to be completely independent. As a former nurse I have been able to look after myself so I don't get UTI's or pressure sores etc.

I had a great deal of trouble accepting that I was "disabled" and I guess with that chip on my shoulder I set about proving that I wasn't. Physically Challenged is a better word.......after all isn't life for everyone a challenge?
I took, as well as made, my own opportunities and now with nothing left to prove to anyone I AM WHO I AM.

Apologies if this wasn't the place to express those feelings.

I have always thought that stem cell research was the way forward and I hope one day that no more cats get their necks and backs broken in the name of science. :ranting:
If you don't want to die, your life still has meaning.

#7 Ironside

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 08:56 PM

I think to keep yourself sane, you have to accept what's happened to you. Living in denial will just screw you up

#8 xMaddiex

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 06:29 PM

jason has this whole big thing about 'whatever will be will be' and so just lives life as good as he possibly can and ignores people that tell him he cant do something, which although might not neccessarily be for the best, if it makes him happy... :S

#9 laura

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 10:49 PM

hi all,
just wanted to say great poll thanks simon!

also wanted to say in my opinion there are differences in each point. may be minor to some but for others may led to ticking another option.

i chose the last one. i do go up and down, not drastically but you know,sometimes it does hit me at a moment when i wish it wouldn't that yes i'm a full time wheelchair-user and c4 tetra. with all the joys that brings! lol

sometimes its :lol: other times it could be a :badmood: but hey most of that would be without the sci so the sci = :drunk: ! lol and the rest!

take care
laura

Edited by laura, 11 July 2006 - 07:48 PM.


#10 milosh

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Posted 04 July 2006 - 07:00 PM

well... i live the best i can. even though we loose movement of certain parts of body, we should never let our spirit be dead and passive.

#11 darrel

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Posted 27 September 2007 - 04:58 AM

lets say that I have accepted my injury, I'm not happy with it, I live my life the way I chose to in the situation,and I know there won't be a cure in my time, and if there is it'll be to late for me.. I have my plans fo the future.

#12 hockeydahc

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Posted 29 September 2007 - 02:29 PM

theres no option for living life after injury and loving it, not just content. two choices are close, but not really there. I may like to be cured, but I'm having too much fun with my life right now that I wasn't before.

Edited by hockeydahc, 29 September 2007 - 02:31 PM.


#13 barber1

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Posted 29 September 2007 - 03:02 PM

I'm coping just fine. My life is back to "normal" minus the walking part. The only thing that concerns me is that I personally would like to get back to the walking part. However I find other people in the WC who don't have any desire, hope, or care care about walking again. I wish people would be more proactive and less negative in helping find a cure for paralysis.

#14 oldwheelz

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Posted 29 September 2007 - 05:31 PM

I had some medical training before my SCI . I rolled a semi in the middle of nowhere. It took a hour for the ambulance to come. So I had lots of time to think about what I knew was wrong with me. I had accepted my injury so well that the ambulance attendent said that he was going to adopt my attitude to life. Of course I didn't know all the problems that come from SCI. Having a wife who is a great care giver and having insurance make a wolrd of difference.

#15 nomis

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Posted 29 September 2007 - 11:57 PM

...However I find other people in the WC who don't have any desire, hope, or care care about walking again. I wish people would be more proactive and less negative in helping find a cure for paralysis.

It might be wasted energy concerning yourself with the way you want another people to be. The one person's life you can control is your own. You are responsible for your own life the same as the rest of us.

Some very positive people are searching for a cure. Other very positive people are living their lives to the full with no expectation of a cure for them.

With two-thirds of my life having been SCI, I accept a cure for me is not realistic. To keep that fantasy alive would be an indication I had not accepted my situation. But, as a younger, newer SCI, it is realistic for you to be keenly enthusiastic and optimistic for a cure. Go ahead and link with like-minded people. But stay clear of your own negativity that is insensitive to the needs and dreams of others.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#16 atvaholic

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Posted 30 September 2007 - 02:34 AM

i have accepted my disability i still do everything i did before i got hurt if not more theres plenty of sporting opportunities etc... i crack jokes to help me cope as well theres no point in whining over things you can't control
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#17 barber1

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Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:52 PM


...However I find other people in the WC who don't have any desire, hope, or care care about walking again. I wish people would be more proactive and less negative in helping find a cure for paralysis.

It might be wasted energy concerning yourself with the way you want another people to be. The one person's life you can control is your own. You are responsible for your own life the same as the rest of us.

Some very positive people are searching for a cure. Other very positive people are living their lives to the full with no expectation of a cure for them.

With two-thirds of my life having been SCI, I accept a cure for me is not realistic. To keep that fantasy alive would be an indication I had not accepted my situation. But, as a younger, newer SCI, it is realistic for you to be keenly enthusiastic and optimistic for a cure. Go ahead and link with like-minded people. But stay clear of your own negativity that is insensitive to the needs and dreams of others.


I understand. Nomis as you have grow up with most of your life having been an SCI do you recognize many times that newer SCI people are positive and searching for a cure, as their lives grow wiser they have less "fire" about searching for a cure?

#18 nomis

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Posted 02 October 2007 - 06:29 AM

I think most people re-adjust to their circumstances as time progresses. The first two years are critical for potential recovery. After that the chances of recovery are not so positive. Twenty years on they are less likely.

I don't think the "fire" in older SCI's grows dimmer, it shifts to other parts of their life. I'm as fiery with life as ever. It's just my focus that has shifted to suit my circumstances and understanding.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#19 wheeliebear75

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Posted 03 October 2007 - 09:12 PM

Personally I really only saw 3 options for myself (when I was 1st hurt); #1 keep being pissed off at everybody that wasn't under that sign and can still walk (wasn't getting me very far) #2 keep feeling sorry for myself and cry every time I couldn't do something I wanted to (too many dead trees for the Kleenex and too much time re-doing eye make-up) #3 Figure out a way to enjoy life in spite of............#3 I think has been a much better solution in the long run. LOL Laugh or cry?.......I'll take laughing thank you.

I think it's mostly up to the person..........we all have different ways of dealing with things; some of us are just somehow naturally better able to handle and adapt to any sort of major loss or tragedy; but having a supportive family and friends sure does help.
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#20 Jsec64

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:48 AM

I can never accept my situation but I am grateful for what I do have. 50/50 Dark times & Good Times.

#21 nomis

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:55 PM

Jsec64, I’m not sure I can accept “…can never accept my situation…”
Aren’t you confusing ‘not liking’ with ‘not accepting’.
It seems to me that you have a realistic understanding of the situation.

By the way, nice blog. Clearly presented. Congrats.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#22 john S.

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 01:43 AM

I need to qualify this answer. I don't remember much from before my accident. I had a brain injury when I broke my spine. I just have bits and pieces that aren't in order. I like hearing about what I did. People sure have different opinions.
After BVR messed me over I got a job by looking in the newspaper, so I resent gov't bureacracies that just suck on the money teet.
after 16 years I lost my job and getting social security was like pulling teeth. I'm stunned that I got medicaid. So I don't think I'm productive, but I enjoy my life of wasting other peoples time and creeping out little kids. I like to beg and meet new people. If you meet me in cincinnati, just talk,, the money can is just for fun...and money.
As soon as I think I'm well adjusted I turn up cursing at a curb or releasing my leg bag by the drivers door of an athelete that parked in a handicapped parking place.
When lifes a bitch, bitch right back.

#23 dave420atya

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 02:16 AM

It's either live with it or lay down and die. I'm living with it . Sure , there are things I don't like, but I dealt with things I didn't like before.
like most of you , I have good days and bad days.I try to have at least 4 good days per week. That only leaves 3 for bad days. I want more good than bad and this is how I try to live. Some times I have to "fake"doing ok to keep my average up.
got a light?

#24 Jsec64

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 09:46 AM

Hi Nomis
Your right - just one of those weeks where you question 'Everything and Anything' and still get p****d off. We play the hand that we are dealt - we dont have a choice. If it wasn't for my family I would not be here or rather would choose not to be.
I dont mean that to sound as 'off the cuff' as it comes across but without their love, support and strength I would have serious issues with the future. But hey I am extremly grateful and humbled by the stories of others here.
Best Wishes to all
John

#25 rkzenrage

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 08:24 PM

I have not, not my spinal limitations, illness (how sick I am), none of it...

Thomas Jefferson-
"If a law is unjust not only does a man have the right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so!"


#26 smokymtn memories

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 08:49 PM

I try to cope with the way things are, at my age, I can't afford to wait and fight for a cure that will probably not come in my life time.

Instead, since I miss working, I've decided to look into going back to school. I'd qualify for UT as soon as social secruity gets it in gear. Until then, I'll have to think about what I want to be when I grow up.........

#27 nomis

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 09:20 PM

I'm still wondering what I'm going be when I grow up and time is running out.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#28 Angela250153

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 09:38 PM

[quote name='smokymtn memories' date='Oct 12 2007, 09:49 PM' post='42972']
I try to cope with the way things are, at my age, I can't afford to wait and fight for a cure that will probably not come in my life time.

That is my take on it also. I am just over year post injury, that is my injury was years in the making but only recognised and dealt with last year. I have always lived by myself and have been very independant. The most important thing for me was to regain that independence and I have achieved this. Even tough I will always only be able to walk slowly for short distances with crutches I have been able to return to my first floor flat, to my job in accountancy and am driving again.

As long as I have the strength to keep all that up I accept my physical challenge and just get on with it.

Just had another operation for yet another herniated disc, but this time a lot lower down and at least I am now fairly painfree.

Edited by Angela250153, 12 October 2007 - 09:41 PM.


#29 edlee

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Posted 12 October 2007 - 09:55 PM

Painfree and walking with crutches.

I'ld take either one.
ed

#30 Angela250153

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Posted 13 October 2007 - 09:41 AM

Painfree and walking with crutches.

I'ld take either one.
ed


I am not totally painfree but I can take the bit I got without taking too many painkillers. Just some Baclofen.

That L5/S1 disc was pressing on the sciatic nerve. VERY PAINFUL. Now my right leg is good again, but while in hospital I had a fall and did my left knee in. Didn't think it was too bad until I got home and was walking more. Now standing up and sitting down gives me a shooting pain in my knee so I guess I better have that checked out.

Story of my life: I am a continuous accident. :dunno: :doh:


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