Jump to content


Welcome to the Apparelyzed Spinal Cord Injury and Cauda Equina Syndrome Support Forum


Sign In  Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter

Create Account
Welcome to Apparelyzed, an active and vibrant spinal cord injury and cauda equina syndrome support forum. Like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be apart of our spinal cord injury support community by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get email updates
  • Get your own profile page and make new friends
  • Send personal messages to other members.
  • Talk to others in real time in the Chat Room
We look forward to welcoming you to our community and reading your contributions and questions.
 
Simon
Forum Administrator.
 

Photo
- - - - -

Have You Accepted Your Injury?




  • Please log in to reply
68 replies to this topic

Poll: How are you coping with a spinal cord injury? (204 member(s) have cast votes)

Just as every spinal cord injury is different, so are everyones ways of coping. So, how are you coping?

  1. I have adjusted to my injury, and live my life as best I can. (58 votes [28.43%])

    Percentage of vote: 28.43%

  2. I have not yet adjusted to my injury, and am not coping well. (11 votes [5.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.39%

  3. I have accepted my injury, live my life, and am content, not waiting for a cure. (62 votes [30.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 30.39%

  4. I have not accepted my injury, and have put my life on hold whilst waiting for a cure. (9 votes [4.41%])

    Percentage of vote: 4.41%

  5. I look back at my life before my injury, but cannot move on and see no future with this injury. (11 votes [5.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.39%

  6. I look back at my life before my injury with fondness, but look forward in a positive frame of mind. (53 votes [25.98%])

    Percentage of vote: 25.98%

Vote Guests cannot vote

#31 hanguk

hanguk

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 76 posts
  • Country:USA New York
  • Spinal Injury Level:T11 complete

Posted 14 January 2008 - 07:32 PM

the answer that's the best fit for me is #1. I don't like the word accept. This seems to indicate to me that I have reached some sort of state of contentment and don't even wish for things to be different. Of course I am trying to live my life as best as I can but there's not a day that goes by that I wish this had not happened. I wish for a cure but I don't think much about it because I don't think the chances of it in my lifetime are that great. I can hope for it but I can't put my life on hold for it.

#32 nomis

nomis

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,999 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:New Zealand
  • Spinal Injury Level:Para T4
  • Injury Date:11-02-1970

Posted 14 January 2008 - 11:59 PM

... I don't like the word accept. This seems to indicate to me that I have reached some sort of state of contentment and don't even wish for things to be different. ...I wish for a cure but I don't think much about it because I don't think the chances of it in my lifetime are that great. I can hope for it but I can't put my life on hold for it.

I don't see "accept" as necessarily reaching contentment or as surrendering. I see it as acknowledging the facts and assimulating them into how you deal with your life, which could be positive or negative.
I think your remarks about a cure show a clear, informed acceptance of that aspect.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#33 hanguk

hanguk

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 76 posts
  • Country:USA New York
  • Spinal Injury Level:T11 complete

Posted 15 January 2008 - 02:48 AM

yes accept is a difficult word, depends on how you define it. I'd rather say I have adjusted, I guess, because what alternative is there? (besides suicide and substance abuse). I guess I just got tired of hearing the word accept in rehab. What I hate is that people have such low expectations....it's a bit discouraging to constantly have people be surprised that I have a job or that I can take myself to the toilet.

#34 longhaul

longhaul

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,513 posts
  • Country:n. cali
  • Spinal Injury Level:T6-T7

Posted 15 January 2008 - 03:24 AM

yes accept is a difficult word, depends on how you define it. I'd rather say I have adjusted, I guess, because what alternative is there? (besides suicide and substance abuse). I guess I just got tired of hearing the word accept in rehab. What I hate is that people have such low expectations....it's a bit discouraging to constantly have people be surprised that I have a job or that I can take myself to the toilet.

I hear ya. Soon after my injury I went to a brothel with some buddy s and when we were inside and they had all picked a girl an AB friend and I were still looking when this woman came up and ask my friend if she could do me like I wasn't there boy was that an eyeopener for me. I didn't pick her.

Edited by longhaul, 15 January 2008 - 03:25 AM.


#35 nomis

nomis

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,999 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:New Zealand
  • Spinal Injury Level:Para T4
  • Injury Date:11-02-1970

Posted 16 January 2008 - 02:02 AM

yes accept is a difficult word, depends on how you define it. I'd rather say I have adjusted, I guess, because what alternative is there? (besides suicide and substance abuse). I guess I just got tired of hearing the word accept in rehab. What I hate is that people have such low expectations....it's a bit discouraging to constantly have people be surprised that I have a job or that I can take myself to the toilet.

Aren't words fun.
I can understand your preference for 'adjusted' but if you hear that too often it too will be offensive.
Whether it's 'accepting' or 'adjusting', when it relates to me, I like to be the only one using those words.

"We are all different - but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it's human nature that we adapt - and survive." - Stephen Hawking 2013


#36 hanguk

hanguk

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 76 posts
  • Country:USA New York
  • Spinal Injury Level:T11 complete

Posted 16 January 2008 - 04:19 PM

[Aren't words fun.
I can understand your preference for 'adjusted' but if you hear that too often it too will be offensive.
Whether it's 'accepting' or 'adjusting', when it relates to me, I like to be the only one using those words.
[/quote]

So true. Me too, Nomis. Yesterday someone opened a door for me and said it must be so difficult for me - I said opening doors wasn't a problem and he said, but crossing the street...I said crossing the street was easy and least of my problems....he looked like he didn't believe me! I get tired of explaining these things. And of being asked why I don't put a motor on my chair almost every time I go out.

#37 Notwheels

Notwheels

    Member

  • Closed Account
  • Pip
  • 30 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:United States
  • Spinal Injury Level:C3-7 Incomplete

Posted 03 June 2008 - 04:54 AM

I had a closed head injury (traumatic brain injury) along with my spinal cord injury.

I'm going on 14 years since the accident and I am still having problems accepting it. I think a lot of my problem is that I have been unable to get a job since I was laid off in 2001 in a department-wide layoff. I'm also pissed because one of the people I worked with was promoted to Marketing Director and was less qualified than I was and she got the promotion and I got laid off.

Nobody wants a pushing-50 incomplete quad in either a soft job market or a good job market.

I did manage to pull myself together enough to write a book on spinal cord injury to try to help others and I've done some freelance writing, but the financial problems the accident has caused in the long run with the complications are hard to accept.

My injury is also hard to accept because my condition is deteriorating with the central cord syndrome. I t's also variable from one day to the next. I never know how well my body (or my brain) is going to work from one day to the next. My legs collapse without warning.

Carolyn
Author, A Complete Plain-English Guide to Living With a Spinal Cord Injury: Valuable Information From a Survivor (iUniverse 2007). Available at online bookstores worldwide.

#38 PsychoSimon

PsychoSimon

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 83 posts
  • Spinal Injury Level:L5

Posted 03 June 2008 - 08:21 PM

"I have accepted my injury, live my life, and am content, not waiting for a cure"

I had a car crash november 06. Prior to my crash, I used to drive like an absolute tw@t at times (excuse my language but it's the only way I can explain it really). I was a 20 year old lad who thought he could drive better and faster than everything on the road.

Frankly the way I crashed I was lucky to 1. not have hurt anyone else, and 2. not killed myself.

I honestly think that knowing what I know now, I will lead a better life. these past 1 1/2 years have been the happiest of my life. I've learned whats imortant in life, get on with my family and have learned to chill out.

Quite honestly I wouldn't want to be "cured" now. getting rid of the pain would be a bonus and the feeling back in my wedding vegetables, but that would be all I want.


I also realise that although I feel I'm in a lot of pain I may be in a lot less than others am. Also I don't have a complete injury so there would b many other people happy to be in my circumstances than theirs, but I have found that this forum (although there is a massive potential to be) is one of complete lack of jelousy
Don't knock on death's door - Ring the bell and run..... he hates that

L5 incomplete paraplegic. Learning to walk again and not letting anything stop me!

#39 Trinity

Trinity

    2nd in Command!

  • Moderators
  • 5,041 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:London
  • Spinal Injury Level:T8 complete

Posted 03 June 2008 - 08:49 PM

the feeling back in my wedding vegetables, but that would be all I want.

Hee hee, that phrase made me giggle :)
Tx

Memento Vivere
Memento Mori


#40 City Girl

City Girl

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 241 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Toronto, Canada
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12 INCOMPLETE, ASIA D

Posted 05 June 2008 - 04:11 AM

What a great poll!

Sadly, I am unable to select an answer...yet. Have I accepted my injury? I am adjusting as best I can but I am only 8 months post-injury. My SCI is incomplete and my body is still changing. I certainly grieved my loss initially (no sensation for first two months & no motor function for first three months) but I am still working hard in physiotherapy and making new gains. It is an odd place to be. My dad keeps telling me to "enjoy the journey" but I'm not really enjoying it. I don't feel like I have an identity and things are on hold. They just simply are.

I've returned to my life and made adjustments in my home and workplace so I could continue living. I am proud to have learned how to be independent in my life and I am doing things I enjoy: work, social, hobbies.

Notwithstanding, I feel like I am living in limbo. I don't really feel disabled and I don't really feel AB. I feel like I'm just injured and fighting to get back as much as I can. I honestly don't believe that I will ever be as I was before, ever. Not knowing what my body is going to be able/unable to do is, well, scary.

If I am unable to walk again, there are physical activities I'd love to pursue but I'm not pursuing them right now because I'm trying to learn to walk again. If I learn to walk again, there are physical activities I'd love to return to. Things are on hold until I see where I'm at.

I will pursue my life with passion whether I walk or wheel but the inbetween stuff is bugging me. I'm not enjoying the journey. Things will eventually stop changing and I will be happy when I get to that point so I can say, "ok, this is where I'm at and this is what I'm going to do," but I'm not there yet.

I'm tired and frustrated.
~ City Girl ~
Well-behaved women seldom make history.  Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, 1976.
I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Lucille Ball
 

#41 Kwag_Myers

Kwag_Myers

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,207 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South-East Michigan
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12 Incomplete/CES
  • Injury Date:11-08-2007

Posted 05 June 2008 - 11:48 PM

...I feel like I am living in limbo. I don't really feel disabled and I don't really feel AB. I feel like I'm just injured and fighting to get back as much as I can. I honestly don't believe that I will ever be as I was before, ever. Not knowing what my body is going to be able/unable to do is, well, scary.
If I am unable to walk again, there are physical activities I'd love to pursue but I'm not pursuing them right now because I'm trying to learn to walk again. If I learn to walk again, there are physical activities I'd love to return to. Things are on hold until I see where I'm at.
I will pursue my life with passion whether I walk or wheel but the inbetween stuff is bugging me. I'm not enjoying the journey. Things will eventually stop changing and I will be happy when I get to that point so I can say, "ok, this is where I'm at and this is what I'm going to do," but I'm not there yet.
I'm tired and frustrated.

Yeah, that's pretty much where I'm at, too. With one exception - I stopped improving months ago. With CES it may be years before I see any improvement in motor and sensory function, if at all.

What really gets me down is that the things I loved to do before are now just one more task to get through. I think it would be easier to handle if I wasn't so fatigued all of the time. The harder I work out the worse I feel - and it never seems to get better.

Still, I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm doing better than expected and I know there are lots of you with less mobility than me. It's just that some days are better than others and today sucks. Maybe I just need to get some ice cream.
'Cause that's how I roll! Posted Image

#42 koivu1313

koivu1313

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 5 posts
  • Country:Helsinki, Finland
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12-L1 incomplete

Posted 22 June 2008 - 08:45 PM

I'm not sure... I broke my back almost 13 years ago and think that by somehow remaining in a long-term state of denial has enabled me to keep moving forward. For a long time it was even uncomfortable for me to associate with other disabled people. I think that was a combination of not wanting to address the fact, and feeling guilty because my injury is less severe than other peoples' (my injury was at T12-L1, but I can walk with forearm crutches... though I spent enough time in a wheelchair to know what it is like). I think it sounds messed up that I feel guilty, but I'm putting it out there.
But now I want to know how it is for other people (thank you to everyone who is so open here... I just found this site today and think it is really good and will read and post often), and hope this can provide a forum to start to open up about it all. I've been rather pensive about the whole thing lately (coming up on the anniversary of my accident might explain that) and am realizing that I've spent a long time feeling quite alone and like I have a lot to hide. I think it is time to open up and learn how to trust other people enough to let them know how it is for me, and maybe even get close to me.

#43 Trinity

Trinity

    2nd in Command!

  • Moderators
  • 5,041 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:London
  • Spinal Injury Level:T8 complete

Posted 22 June 2008 - 09:03 PM

Hi!
Welcome to the forum!

Guilt is a strange thing, there is a saying that guilt is anger directed at yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty about your level of injury the same way as I (or indeed most, if not all on this site) do not feel jelousy towards you because of your level of function.

Good luck in resolving your issues, any problems just holler, there's always someone that can answer pretty much anything!

Trinity X
  • dancin' johnny likes this

Memento Vivere
Memento Mori


#44 LaurenP

LaurenP

    Intermediate Member

  • Banned
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:t5/t6 incomplete (Admin Note: Pretender)

Posted 18 February 2011 - 08:52 PM

I deal with it is how I see it. After 12 yrs.I'm accustomed to facing whatever is thrown my way. Do I call this acceptance, I don't think so. Just do the best I can. Some days good, some days bad.

#45 dreamerr

dreamerr

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:L4/L5 Cauda Equina
  • Injury Date:11-15-2006

Posted 16 October 2011 - 04:16 AM

I just don't find anything fun anymore but I am certainly not as bad off as some others. I commend you all for your positive attitude and moving on. Maybe one day I will be able to as well but I just don't see it.
I know I will always have a seat:)

#46 WillieB

WillieB

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 10 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:United States
  • Spinal Injury Level:C5 / Friend

Posted 14 November 2011 - 07:25 PM

How do you adjust or except that your Best Friend has a SCI because of your mistake? You Don't !

Edited by WillieB, 14 November 2011 - 07:26 PM.


#47 A trophy guy

A trophy guy

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,759 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Country:US
  • Spinal Injury Level:T-10/12 (ischemic)
  • Injury Date:29-04-2000

Posted 14 November 2011 - 08:19 PM

For me, true acceptance and understanding of my injury, and the ways in which it affects the person that I am-and how that person exists in the world-is a lifelong quest that is truly neverending.
Blessed but Cursed

#48 Priority Seatin

Priority Seatin

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 30 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Canada
  • Spinal Injury Level:Incomplete T12 L2, ASIA C

Posted 20 November 2011 - 01:54 AM

I have accepted my injury even though it hasn't been that long ago when I acquired it.

The biggest reason for that is actually due to previous and extensive interaction with people with disabilities in my teenage years. Instead of thinking, "My life is over, I'll never be able to do anything again," I thought to myself, "Well, what would THEY [PWDs I've met before] do in this situation?"

A perfect example of the positive effects of integrating PWDs with mainstream society; I don't think I would have accepted my SCI so well without that experience.

#49 Zack

Zack

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,170 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:60 Miles above NYC
  • Spinal Injury Level:C5 /Friend of AB Cassie
  • Injury Date:10-07-81

Posted 03 December 2011 - 05:23 AM

There is nothing I can do to undo it, so I am just moving on with my life.
  • A trophy guy likes this
~Kill them with Kindness~

#50 Gunnslinger8

Gunnslinger8

    Member

  • Banned
  • Pip
  • 121 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Country:UNITED STATES
  • Spinal Injury Level:Admin Note: Member Harassment

Posted 17 January 2012 - 11:17 PM

Simon I changed up my answer a little. I will say this, read below.

I have accepted my injury, look back at my life before my injury with fondness, live my life as best as I can, not waiting for a cure.
Yous can't moves forward if yous keep looking back...Unless yous doin the moonwalk. GS8

#51 Scott_C4-5

Scott_C4-5

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 350 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:C 4-5
  • Injury Date:23-07-1990

Posted 18 January 2012 - 10:51 PM

I have accepted the fact that my injury was my fault (wasn't paying attention and ran a stop sign) and can live with problems I have (only partial use of one arm and a lot of nerve pain). I don't like my life as it is, but have a few things that I enjoy and keep me busy. After my injury, I prayed that I'd get a miracle of God, a cure of medical science or to simply wake up from a horrid nightmare. Twenty one and 1/2 years later I no longer pray for a miracle, be it from God or science, but still would like to wake up from this nightmare. I'm sure one day, possibly soon, they will find a cure, but I honestly don't think it will be of much use to me aside from possible regaining of my left arm. My hands are shot from either contractures and/or muscle atrophy. A cure will be most beneficial to those with fresh injuries, lower paras with good trunk control and probably bring high quads off their vents and gain some arm use. I live with my mom and step-dad right now, but since there are no assisted living homes around here for people like me, I don't see much of a long-term future for myself. If something were to happen to my folks (God forbid), I'd most likely end up in a nursing home. and around here, that's a death sentence; either from staff neglect or my personal choice not to live in a shoddy run-down place, poorly staffed and likely spending most of my hours in bed watching TV with 4 channels. While I may not be doing much with my life as it is now, I don't see my life truly livable in worse circumstances. If I had the physical ability to take care of myself or the financial means of living on my own, I would be content as I am, but unless I win the lottery or get my children's story published and make a bunch of money, I don't see a hopeful future. As is said, "C'est la vie."
  • bongorum likes this

#52 Canuck Jason

Canuck Jason

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 12 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Canada
  • Spinal Injury Level:T7/T8

Posted 19 January 2012 - 05:45 AM

Life is what it is...you can spend it dwelling on how your life has changed OR you can embrace all the good things the future has in store for you. YOU decide.

#53 Gunnslinger8

Gunnslinger8

    Member

  • Banned
  • Pip
  • 121 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Country:UNITED STATES
  • Spinal Injury Level:Admin Note: Member Harassment

Posted 21 January 2012 - 02:12 AM

Great post Scott, very honest and to the point.

I know you live this SCI life the best way you're able, you are very active and I've never heard a negative word (pity party) from you. I just had to say that cause if anyone happens to come across Scotts post without knowing him, you would think GEEZZZZ that guy is pessimistic LOL!

I too want a cure for the newly injured, I don't wanna see anyone exist the way you described.

Maybe soon there will be a cure, we can throw a farewell SCI forums party, certain forums ;)
Yous can't moves forward if yous keep looking back...Unless yous doin the moonwalk. GS8

#54 The Black Sheep

The Black Sheep

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,469 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Upstate NY
  • Spinal Injury Level:T5, stand-n-shuffler
  • Injury Date:01-08-1998

Posted 21 January 2012 - 04:22 AM

I selected the last choice, although it's not 100% how I feel. I actually don't look back at the past-me and think of how great it was. I like who I am better now, as a person, although the body was better then.

I haven't really accepted my predicament after 13 years. I'm still putting up with it, hoping for the best and working towards it without much success. But I don't think I'll ever fully except this is forever.
3 doctors diagnosed me with hysterical paralysis (weee!), 1 diagnosed an incomplete T7, another T2 and the last (and most accurate) T5. Trampolines are BAD. Sleep is unpredictable. And never kiss strangers. Life has moved on.

#55 Edinburgh Colin

Edinburgh Colin

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 6,013 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Edinburgh, Scotland
  • Spinal Injury Level:T3/4 Incomplete
  • Injury Date:07-05-2009

Posted 21 January 2012 - 01:53 PM

I don't know how many have looked at the vote results but I find it very interesting that the vast majority have "sucked it up and got on with it" for lack of a better way of putting it.
I find this very positive and would hope that we can reflect this attitude in our posting and thus what is read by members and guests alike.
EC
Impossible only describes a problem that needs viewed from a different perspective

#56 bongorum

bongorum

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 906 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Trinidad
  • Spinal Injury Level:t5

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:51 PM

It has been twenty years for me and that has afforded me sufficient time to contemplate my condition and acquire enough self-knowledge to know that I shall never again walk and should never realistically hope to do so. But that of itself hardly troubles me, and, with rare exceptions, I never find myself grieving for what I’ve lost. What does scare me though is my dependence. My wife is so integral to my emotional and physical well-being that I often wonder what will happen if one day she’s not there. Sometimes when I’m alone in my bed or in my chair I will plunge into this morbid mood during which I’ll just begin conceiving of a hundred different scenarios in which our permanent separation is brought about. I'll begin by imagining accidents, then every species of violent crime which will invariably entail her demise. Beset by these fears, I often will feel that to die now before she does is the only way of avoiding the terrifying future I envisage without her. At such times, I freely confess, I become a little suicidal, but the despair always passes and things come right again.

These unwholesome thoughts are the one evil wrought by sci that I know if I could overcome would leave me immeasurably happy and contented with my lot, but sadly thus far no way to do so has suggested itself to my mind.

Edited by bongorum, 23 January 2012 - 08:03 PM.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus

#57 rue2you

rue2you

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,337 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:West Union, OH
  • Spinal Injury Level:T10 Paraplegic Incomplete

Posted 23 January 2012 - 09:56 PM

It has been twenty years for me and that has afforded me sufficient time to contemplate my condition and acquire enough self-knowledge to know that I shall never again walk and should never realistically hope to do so. But that of itself hardly troubles me, and, with rare exceptions, I never find myself grieving for what Ive lost. What does scare me though is my dependence. My wife is so integral to my emotional and physical well-being that I often wonder what will happen if one day shes not there. Sometimes when Im alone in my bed or in my chair I will plunge into this morbid mood during which Ill just begin conceiving of a hundred different scenarios in which our permanent separation is brought about. I'll begin by imagining accidents, then every species of violent crime which will invariably entail her demise. Beset by these fears, I often will feel that to die now before she does is the only way of avoiding the terrifying future I envisage without her. At such times, I freely confess, I become a little suicidal, but the despair always passes and things come right again.

These unwholesome thoughts are the one evil wrought by sci that I know if I could overcome would leave me immeasurably happy and contented with my lot, but sadly thus far no way to do so has suggested itself to my mind.


Aww...the battle of the mind. That truly is where the war is lost or won isn't it?
"We cannot choose the road we are asked to travel, but we can choose to enjoy the ride!"
www.aliciareagan.com

#58 greybeard

greybeard

    Super Geek

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,884 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Dorset, UK
  • Spinal Injury Level:L1-L5 incl - Stenosis
  • Injury Date:21-03-2001

Posted 23 January 2012 - 10:03 PM

While I can understand worrying about the future, (I'm sure we all do it and play "what if" occasionally) don't you think it is a little unfair on your wife to think of deliberately checking out before her? Statistically, you will likely be measured for your box before her anyway, so what's to worry about? I'm also pretty sure that topping yourself is not going to make you feel happy.

Now then, next time you get these morbid thoughts, log on here and tell us. You will be bombarded with all sorts of good advice about ways to overcome your temporary misery, and the anonymity of the forum makes it the ideal place to unload.

...........And don't forget to pour a glass of scotch before logging in. It could be a long session. Posted Image
  • bongorum likes this

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day;  Rage, rage against the dying of the light" 

[Dylan Thomas]


#59 Chococat

Chococat

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 333 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Scotland
  • Spinal Injury Level:T4incomplete
  • Injury Date:Illness in 1994

Posted 24 January 2012 - 05:37 AM

I picked answer 1 as well. agree with others i wouldn't use the word accept, prefer adjust. i go through phases of how well i think i have adjusted, good and bad days but every single day there is something, even little and seemingly insignificant, which makes me think of my life before SCI and makes me go into a brief daydream about my alternative existence.

#60 bongorum

bongorum

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 906 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Trinidad
  • Spinal Injury Level:t5

Posted 24 January 2012 - 01:43 PM

Thanks for the solicitous remarks, my friends, but the situation is one to which I've long since resigned myself. I regard it as just one more challenge resulting from my altered circumstances, and one that is not much different from the challenge of having to navigate the narrow doorways in my home. And although you might laugh and think me a madman, I tend to believe that the secret tortures of the soul serve a purpose by promoting the development of our natures and enabling us to withstand storms. They also make the little psychological wounds sustained in life’s daily fray of little account by desensitizing our minds to pain in general. On a facetious note, though, let me say that without at least some little worry in my head to fret about, I might very well find it difficult to justify my Saturday night drinking to my conscience? Imagine Vodka night being turned into V8 Splash night, perish the thought. But thanks again, both of you, your words are most appreciated.

Edited by bongorum, 24 January 2012 - 01:56 PM.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus


Spinal Cord Injury & Cauda Equina Syndrome Support

This website is a way for those with spinal cord injuries and cauda equina syndrome to share experiences and advice. Any medical matters, treatments or alternative therapies discussed on this website should be thoroughly reviewed by a medical professional or therapist before being acted upon. Under no circumstances should you alter prescribed medication or a medical care plan without consulting your doctor or care plan supervisor first.