5 replies to this topic

[Jennii]

Many moons ago I joined a modeling site initially to see more of a photographer's work (Hakan photography). I flirted with the silly prospect of getting into such myself (modeling, that is) and filled out the profile. I remember while doing so I debated whether I should actually disclose my disability or not. It's not something I'm ashamed of to hide, but merely for protection sake. There's evil everywhere and common-sense preventative measures should be practiced according to whatever situation at hand. Being a bit more physically vulnerable as we are though, shouldn't the disability be something considered just like any other personal information that could be targeted when sharing with the general public? Yet at the same time, it's right there clearly visible when outside, so why not state it matter-of-factly?

I ended up being upfront about it in that profile because in that instance I figured it was relevant but other then that modeling site and here, I keep such pretty private online. Yet I see a lot of people who are disabled talk about it in their profile information and/or display photos showing it in whatever account they may have. I've always figured when dealing with strangers (especially online), that disclosing the disability should be something done only after screening the person through getting to know them.

Am I just being paranoid? When do you think is suitable or not to give that type information online?

[pinkcloud]

I got pre-warned of the dangers of the internet when I first visited this site, they were worried that me giving away so much personal informaton may make me vulnerable. I am real safe out here in the world, I'm of strong charactor...I have lots of physical strong in me life..I had/have got a few stalkers in real life. Nothing the police or friends or meself have not sorted out.

Everyone in me life knows lots about me, I am an honest open person especially about me disability,there is nothing on here I dont share with others.

I dedcide to tell the whole story because people can relate to this in themself and help them understand that its 'not only them', so many people dont admit the rough parts of themself, situations that have happened - me I accept and take responsibility for whom i am, thus not vulnerable to others attacks.

If people dont know us - they make up their own version of who we are. Even when we tell them who they are they will believe what they want us to believe.

I so say this...sometimes when people are sharing aspects about themself there will be some people whom mock, belittle and try to take advantage of vulnerabilities. Happily on this site, its not often the case.

So many people nowadays go on dating sites, sharing loads of personal info (including web-cam stuff), their need for attention/relationship that great they go to great lengths to show this, unaware the one they are doing this with may be winding them up/showing others this personal info shared...to me this is a much higher danger zone than a disability.

If in doubt keep yaself safe...would you share your info with the world? maybe not share stuff on here. People have to operate computers, keys dont press themself...people do.

Thanks for raising this, good topic

[wheeliebear75]

I don't go into DETAILS with anyone (accept HERE) on-line about my disabilities but I DO have a quick mention of it in other places on the web. Between my vision (or lack OF IT), & the brain injury I've missed or mixed up a LOT of conversations. I avoid talking in any sort of depth elsewhere cuz there ARE devos out there & OMG do they latch on to any female they know IS in a w/c & start in wanting details of things that only my B/F & Dr.s need know.....thankfully Simon is the world's best "Devo-Destroyer".

I'll just use Pogo gaming site as an example:
If I'm having a BAD DAY, feeling like crap....if nobody knows I'm not an AB & I'm all doped up or just grouchy/short tempered cuz I'm feeling like ....makes people think I'm "just a crab-ass"....on the other hand IF people DO KNOW then they're more likely to "cut me some slack" & take my bailing in the middle of a game better.

When I got hurt we didn't have WWW.anything. So I didn't get to meet any other PARTIALLY paralyzed.....I'd like to think that IF I HAD that I could have accepted my incarceration into Limbo-Land a bit better. My 1st high-school knew me pre-booboo AND post-booboo for about 1yr. At my 2nd high-school (majority of staff & 99% of the other kids/students) they did NOT know "what's up with HER?", everyone saw me walk with my crutches or walker to class through their classroom windows (I went from class to class AFTER everyone else was already IN class with an aide walking behind me so #1 I didn't get lost & #2 would get between me & any stragglers they saw running to class so I wouldn't get knocked over & if I fell on my own help get me back up) gimping along to my next class with an aide in tow.....this prompted the name "GIMP-A-LONG-CASSIDY". SOME teachers knew I had had an accident....but mostly I kept my mouth shut & hardly said a word unless I NEEDED TO....but for the most part they though I had CP, & because I didn't have the confidence to explain what had ACTUALLY HAPPENED....I just let people assume it. NOW is different NOW I know I'm not some freak of medical literature (that's what I felt I was before coming HERE {8th wonder of the world someone PARTIALLY paralyzed} & meeting others who are also incomplete & can walk some) Yes the teachers I had all knew I had learning difficulties but the school records don't necessarily tell you WHY the student does just that they DO. And yes it was obvious to anyone with 1/2 a brain that SOMETHING wasn't quite right about the way I walked.....so that's why so many thought I had CP.....now I try to educate people that people who have suffered a brain injury OR SCI are not stupid or incapable, we just take a bit longer & have to make some adaptions, but I also try showing ABs that we've got more gumption in our little finger than most ABs have in their whole body.

I'd keep PERSONAL information like WHERE you live (specifics where they could pin-point the location of your house/apartment/flat) or about your NAME especially your last name!

[nomis]

I think you put your finger on it when you mentioned relevance. Obviously it's relevant on this site. As for other sites, if you think it's important to your identity in the context of the site then say so otherwise it's irrelevant.

Mostly it never occurs to me to mention that I'm SCI online and, if I stopped to wonder about it, it's probably refreshing to be free of that image for a time. It's the same driving a car, no one knows a demented idiot is at the wheel juggling with hand controls. I have no desire to put up a big sign saying 'cripple'.

[Jennii]

nomis, on 14 July 2011 - 11:02 AM, said:

I think you put your finger on it when you mentioned relevance. Obviously it's relevant on this site. As for other sites, if you think it's important to your identity in the context of the site then say so otherwise it's irrelevant.

Mostly it never occurs to me to mention that I'm SCI online and, if I stopped to wonder about it, it's probably refreshing to be free of that image for a time. It's the same driving a car, no one knows a demented idiot is at the wheel juggling with hand controls. I have no desire to put up a big sign saying 'cripple'.

Oohhh, how you make me giggle like a 4-yr. old on Christmas morning.

[Aparr]

I too do not make mention of my sci on fb. My pic on fb is an old one. As a matter of fact, I wasn't on fb until a couple months ago. I am also very careful as to who I friend.

I definitely believe you should not give out personal info. about our sci because of vulnerability. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule!

Best wishes with your modeling!