11 replies to this topic

[benok]

I just thought of sharing you that I feel so sad the past days, I just feel tired being sick and disabled. I know this does not come everyday but I feel so down. I am only four year old para but I feel just tired. I feel tired cathing, I feel tired with my transfers, I feel tired on my wheel chair. Just suddenly, I lost my reason to live ... Why? why? why?

Just a couple of months ago, I was up and about, happy and contented, but now I feel so down. I cant even think...

[lune14]

Benok,

Sometimes we as people feel up and feel down, sometimes for no obvious reason. The mind is a powerful thing and our moods can be affected by many things, diet, hormones (yes even in men), weather, and most importantly our health. I have been a para for 25 years now and I can recall many ups and downs. Usually there was something obvious to change my mood but often times it was out of the blue. I have always been considered a very upbeat and positive personality and it gave me "energy" to hear people tell me so. The past couple years of my life however have been difficult ones with the loss of both my father and my brother and serious health issues. I went through a period of depression in the midst of it all feeling like it was never going to get better. Always another thing happening to weigh my already heavy heart. But then a day comes when you feel a little better and you can remember what it is to feel joy and happiness even in small doses and your desire to feel that way again outweighs the sadness you may be feeling. As SCI's we face challenges that most people will never know or can even comprehend and that makes us stronger even if we don't recognize that strength. Try to think to a brighter tomorrow no matter how bad today feels.... just as you see the sky fill with clouds , know that the clouds eventually blow away and the sun does shine again.

It's a corny repsonse and cheesy bit of encouragement but I just lost the man I loved this week and I'm lacking in words at the moment. I hope you can smile again very soon my friend!!!

[Gary Anderson]

Benok

What can I say old son? I feel EXACTLY the same and I am 18 years after injury. Some days are great, some are hellish and jsut recently since my nephew died they ahve been totally bloody ghastly. Now, I am facing further disability through injuring my arm in the acciden thta killed him. So I can WELL undersatnd how you feel.

All I can say is that I try to get up in the morning and block it all out my head. Keep busy with work and my hobbies, etc. It is very hard but I have to try and block it all out. Otherwise, the depression or "Black Dug" creeps over your shoulder and takes over.

I am not belittling you Benok but try to talk to someone - anyone. Dont let it engulf you mate.

That's why I like the boards - Miss Piggy and others have all been so kind to me over the past - even over on Moose's site - the posters are all so kind it is unbelievable. So post here every hour if you want but just by talking to us helps.

God bless mate.

Gary

[Joed]

Benok...

I'm sorry to hear of this latest bout with depression. I think it's true what has been said, that the good days come and go, and so do the bad ones. We do get weary, and then somehow the spirit will kick back in and gives us a second wind, and we come back fighting.

Helping others can sometimes get that spirit awakened again. Whether volunteering or simply by calling up a friend who needs a good ear or a visit. It seems ironic that this would help, since your the one who needs the friend's ear/visit, but there is something magical that happens when you reach out to help others.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

(((HUGS)))

Lune14....

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I don't recall reading this elsewhere, so I apologize if you've posted this and I missed it. I hope your days will go better soon too!

~Blessings to you both. Keep fighting the good fight!

Edited by Joed, 06 July 2006 - 04:13 PM.

[Kevin]

Emotion is definitely a big part of the tiredness. I went through some very serious depression as a teen and all I wanted to do was sleep.

But there is something else you might want to look at, your diet. What are you eating? How much water are you drinking? The healthier you eat the better you feel.

Just something else to think about!

[Jilly]

sometimes it all just builds up and up until finally it gets you.

I think we all feel this way sometimes disabled or not. My daughter is 13 and has been being bullied at school - to the extent that she now refuses to go to the school here, and is going to go and live with her father and go to another school where nobody knows her. I knew she was having a tough time but never realise just how badly it was affecting her - as she never told me the whole story....so TALK......TELL SOMEONE HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!!! I have heard about teenage depression and low self esteem of course but I have never seen my child like this before.

My guy is in a black mood as well at the moment - mainly because he didnt get a job he waited months to hear about and is feeling the pinch money wise, and bored, lonely and useless as he is unemployed. I guess many of you know how that feels.

A change can help the low mood - even if you dont feel like it, go out and do something...dont sit inside wallowing for too long.

[Scotsgal]

Jilly, on Jul 8 2006, 01:17 AM, said:

sometimes it all just builds up and up until finally it gets you.

I think we all feel this way sometimes disabled or not. My daughter is 13 and has been being bullied at school - to the extent that she now refuses to go to the school here, and is going to go and live with her father and go to another school where nobody knows her. I knew she was having a tough time but never realise just how badly it was affecting her - as she never told me the whole story....so TALK......TELL SOMEONE HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!!! I have heard about teenage depression and low self esteem of course but I have never seen my child like this before.

My guy is in a black mood as well at the moment - mainly because he didnt get a job he waited months to hear about and is feeling the pinch money wise, and bored, lonely and useless as he is unemployed. I guess many of you know how that feels.

A change can help the low mood - even if you dont feel like it, go out and do something...dont sit inside wallowing for too long.

Sorry things are so tough for you and yours at the moment Jilly,
Best wishes,
Scotsgal xx.

[Avocado Baby]

Hi Benok,

I don't think there's anything that I can add that hasn't already been said. I agree that being with other people is probably the best thing you can do. Even if you really don't feel like, sometimes you just have to force yourself to pick up the phone and arrange to meet someone or just chat to them. It'll distract from what is making you feel down.

Also, a really good piece of advice I've been given is not to feel bad about having 'black times'. It's perfectly justified and you are entitled to feel like it sometimes. Just be kind to yourself. Remeber that you aren't feeling great and give yourself credit for the things that you are doing. For a start, you posted on here and shared with us which always helps to make me feel better. I hope I'm making sense.

Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon

Ali

[ihaveaheartofgold67]

benok, on Jul 5 2006, 10:55 PM, said:

I just thought of sharing you that I feel so sad the past days, I just feel tired being sick and disabled. I know this does not come everyday but I feel so down. I am only four year old para but I feel just tired. I feel tired cathing, I feel tired with my transfers, I feel tired on my wheel chair. Just suddenly, I lost my reason to live ... Why? why? why?

Just a couple of months ago, I was up and about, happy and contented, but now I feel so down. I cant even think...

hello, i go thru the same feeling and yes very normal.one minute i was in college only 3 weeks away from graduation,next im a paraplegic in rehab. i have learn to live live one day at a time , what tomorrow brings will be a surprise , and not to dwell on the rotten stuff we are dealt with of yesterday. try to get a hobby started to keep ur mind at bay. maybe go away for a small vocation with/without someone else, to get a change 0f scenery,new people. this site is more than helpful ,this is almost like extended family so to speak , when u wanna just come and throw and spill ur mind and let frustrations out come hear and talk, we are here to help eachother get thu life. take care and god bless.

[ParaforGod]

Hi Benok,
As each one has said we all have bad days and good days. I just try and remember that God gave me my life and if he loved me enough to give it to me then its worth living. Sometimes this is hard to remember when emotions, or physical pain get in the way and somtimes it just happens. I just start counting my blessings one by one and things start to get better. I just read your blog and it seems you have very much love in your life. Try and hold on to that and know that things will get better. Im so sorry you are going through this right now. I think it happens to all of us at some point and time.
Lune Im sorry for your loss.
Gary Im sorry about your nephew.
Jilly Im sorry to hear what you and your daughter is going through.
You all will be in my prayers.

[wheeliebear75]

Sorry to hear that your feeling down. I was hurt in 1990, and I still have ups and downs. There are a lot of things that are tedious and tiring about being a para or just in a chair. Did/do you have any councilors or support system? I know for myself it's my friends and family that seem to snap me out of the blues. Hang in there and things will get better.