17 replies to this topic

[tomsov]

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

[mike13]

I myself do the same thing, mayby not the same extent but ya. I remember before the accident I never really thought about handicap parking or such but now, I do think I have become bitter!
If I see someone in the handicap spot and they jump outg and walk into the store, that really upsets(pissed off)me. and yes why can others get whatever they want from the system and I cannot even get a second look.
I felt discriminated against, I have always been the type that will help anyone that helps themselves, but when they just want, want, and want more and not do anything, that rwally does set me off to..hahahahahaha.........

[davjed]

I have struggled with this my whole life and only after 50 did I begin to admit that I have a lot of suppressed anger that comes out like this. I find that as I begin to physically decline it's harder to deal with. I didn't want to become an angry, bitter old man. Outwardly I can do it but inside is really difficult and at times it comes out when I'm at home alone. My advice is to confront it now and work through some anger management and how to cope with issues. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself. It boils down to "don't sweat the small stuff" and take care of the big stuff without blowing up. Anger is a negative force that only hurts us.

[wheeliebear75]

The early to mid 90's had more issues with getting PO'd & STAYING THAT WAY. Mind you it still pisses me off that so many people are able to get placards for BS reasons that their Dr. knows damn good & well they don't NEED ONE! And it really pisses me off when disability/SSDI/SSI payments get lumped in with "well-fare"....what do they think we're doing just sitting on our asses all day? Well OK....so maybe we are sitting on our asses all day....but I see the frustration with people who COULD but don't get off THEIR asses. But at the same time though.....you do have to peel back those layers of angry or you'll end up being as bitter as an onion as time goes on.

The trouble with having to not only have to cath in the 1st place but then the salt in the wound so to speak that you have to pay for said privilege of peeing....you're not alone. At some point (not that THINGS got easier actually health wise I've gone downhill) I learned a VALUABLE LESSON..... After a while I realized that being upset did NOTHING to "improve" anything. How "BAD" something was, was very much dependent on MY attitude;jerks & idiots exist in every town in every country...they're like the mosquitoes at a lake or ants at a picnic....I/we can either allow them to annoy us & ruin our fun OR we can try our best to ignore them & only worry about squishing the bigger pains in the butts that actually came over to bug us & let the lake & picnic be what we remember most vividly about the outing not the annoyances. Being "ANGRY" just gets us labeled as "the grumpy gimp".

(Have you gone to Department of Rehabilitation yet? They can help with a LOT of your schooling costs.)

Edited by wheeliebear75, 28 August 2011 - 02:57 PM.

[greybeard]

I'm a grumpy gimp!

Well, actually I'm not. I'm really quite calm and contented. But probably often appear to be an old curmudgeon because I speak my mind. I have never suffered fools gladly., but often hid my irritation. As I've got older, I find I care less and less about not saying things that I consider need to be said, simply out of politeness, political correctness, or to avoid hurting somebody's tender feelings. Admittedly, this sometimes causes resentment from the recipient, but voicing my opinions truthfully makes me a whole lot more relaxed about stuff.

[dom]

greybeard, on 28 August 2011 - 03:54 PM, said:

I'm a grumpy gimp!

Well, actually I'm not. I'm really quite calm and contented. But probably often appear to be an old curmudgeon because I speak my mind. I have never suffered fools gladly., but often hid my irritation. As I've got older, I find I care less and less about not saying things that I consider need to be said, simply out of politeness, political correctness, or to avoid hurting somebody's tender feelings. Admittedly, this sometimes causes resentment from the recipient, but voicing my opinions truthfully makes me a whole lot more relaxed about stuff.

Ha i still hold back a bit which does hurt me inside, i always admired those people who say things to the face and if they don't like it 'tough' it does sort out your friends quicker,as you say GB it probably is therapeutic to get it off your chest so to speak and maybe i would become a calmer more contented person

[Vanessamaee]

I'll be 4 months in, in 2 days. I live in a town full of idiots, and I could tolerate it, I had plans to go to a certain college (which im no longer going to be going to since I had to change what I wanted to do) and to make a living and get out of this town. Now I have to deal with idiots daily, and in a wheelchair. Ive had to wait 5 mins to use a accessible stall before when none of the other bathrooms were being used, Ive had to wait to use a dressing room when none of the other dressing rooms were being used, People park in the handicap spots and they dont even HAVE a placard or license plate, and when they do, half the time I havent been able to tell one thing that is wrong with them. Ive also had a lady tell me she wished she was in a wheelchair because she is tired of walking, as if I chose to be in a wheelchair. Then theres the people who think your challeneged (in the head). I have a teacher (Im a senior in HS) that when he starts teaching a lesson he has me run "errands" for him. This usually consists of going to the printer/copier in the faculty room and getting him papers or making copies, because he fears I wont be able to keep up with the rest of the class, funny thing is, I still have one of the better grades even with out being taught the lesson. and my family is REALLY bad about telling me "well, you know what, life isnt perfect." NO CRAP!!!!! I actually went off yesterday because they kept saying that because we were discussing my future and crap and I exploded. I know very damn well life isnt perfect. Yes I guess you can say my fuse runs short these days too (:

Oh but I do have the issue of speaking up, :/ someone parked on the ONLY ramp going into the gym I go to for the past week and I still have yet to get the guts to say something, its only when I get really mad that I let it out. Other than that, Im just build it up until I pop.

Edited by Vanessamaee, 28 August 2011 - 04:42 PM.

[KayDub]

Vanessamaee, on 28 August 2011 - 04:40 PM, said:

I'll be 4 months in, in 2 days. I live in a town full of idiots, and I could tolerate it, I had plans to go to a certain college (which im no longer going to be going to since I had to change what I wanted to do) and to make a living and get out of this town. Now I have to deal with idiots daily, and in a wheelchair. Ive had to wait 5 mins to use a accessible stall before when none of the other bathrooms were being used, Ive had to wait to use a dressing room when none of the other dressing rooms were being used, People park in the handicap spots and they dont even HAVE a placard or license plate, and when they do, half the time I havent been able to tell one thing that is wrong with them. Ive also had a lady tell me she wished she was in a wheelchair because she is tired of walking, as if I chose to be in a wheelchair. Then theres the people who think your challeneged (in the head). I have a teacher (Im a senior in HS) that when he starts teaching a lesson he has me run "errands" for him. This usually consists of going to the printer/copier in the faculty room and getting him papers or making copies, because he fears I wont be able to keep up with the rest of the class, funny thing is, I still have one of the better grades even with out being taught the lesson. and my family is REALLY bad about telling me "well, you know what, life isnt perfect." NO CRAP!!!!! I actually went off yesterday because they kept saying that because we were discussing my future and crap and I exploded. I know very damn well life isnt perfect. Yes I guess you can say my fuse runs short these days too (:

Oh but I do have the issue of speaking up, :/ someone parked on the ONLY ramp going into the gym I go to for the past week and I still have yet to get the guts to say something, its only when I get really mad that I let it out. Other than that, Im just build it up until I pop.

Argh I'm the same way. I'm lucky that my education plans for the short term didn't have to change. But for the long term they do. I just spent 5 1/2 years getting a bachelors in geography and did all this field research on water in wildfire areas and low water resources and it involves all sorts of hiking around in really rugged areas and doing research and I absolutely loved it and now I can't do that. Luckily being in law school I can change what I want to do and go down an environmental law path but it kills me I can't do what I wanted and spent time and money and energy preparing for. And I can't hike even for recreation and though in the scheme of things it's not the end of the world it still makes me sad... then angry.

My professors don't call on me in class. They made a big deal about how they'll cold call everyone for points and to be prepared and I'm the only one so far who doesn't get called. They skip over me when I raise my hand. Instead they tell me to come discuss what's going on in their office so I understand it, as if I need extra help and they're doing me a favour by having it done in private. Umm I got an academic scholarship to law school I think I'll be okay.

And the parking? Don't even get me started. I had to move to my moms and she lives in a rural area but it's surronded by suburbs and they're just encroaching on my mom's area. So everywhere I go it's all these entitled moms who think staying at home and driving their kids around in an SUV all day is -soooooo- hard and they're entitled to park in handicap spots and use the only handicapped showers and bathrooms at the gym I go to everyday because they need the room so I get stuck waiting. I know I should let it go but I leave angry notes on people's cars and glare at them from my wheelchair when they park in handicap spots and don't have a permit or they do but they just jump out and walk into the store or gym or wherever because it's clearly someone elses. I've called a couple people out and freaked a guy out who parked in the only van spot to grab coffee. I was leaving him an angry note when he walked out. I lectured him on how he not only screwed people over by parking in a handicap spot but a van spot so people in wheelchairs can't even get out of their car because they need the extra space and it's not just about being closer to buildings. He tried to say he was allowed to because his car breaks down (WTF) but was stuttering and clearly freaked out, no one in a chair had ever approached him about it and he thought I had taken his plate number down and was calling the cops ha ha. But really it pisses me off and I Shouldn't waste my time being so angry but I do, I can't help it.

Everyone makes comments about how surprised they are with how well I'm taking being in a wheelchair and being sick and having to change my life. Like I need a pat on the head or a gold star. I just grit my teeth and smile, I try to take it well and adapt and not be angry but I don't need people reminding me of it. I've had people come up and say "what's wrong with you, car accident?" When I tell them I got sick and was paralysed they're like, oh so you don't have a spinal cord injury so you're fine, and walk away. Yes even though my legs are paralysed and I can't walk I'm absolutely fine! Any minute I could just jump up and run down the street. Except I can't because almost all the damage left is permanent.

:deep breath: Going to swim at the gym now, it relaxes me, outside all the crazy moms and kids at the pool and the people in the parking lot and change rooms and...... Oh well.

Edited by KayDub, 28 August 2011 - 05:02 PM.

[rollingtrouble]

What I've noticed is there are more idiots and inconsiderate people than ever. I try real hard to tolerate them and it is very taxing on my mental health. I have to take a minute or two to remind myself that I have no control over what the idiots say or do. I have at times tried to reason with idiots, but with no results that were favorable. I have come to the conclusion that if confronted with an idiot, its better to just ignore them and just do your thing. I was leaving a restaurant last week and was at the front with a friend of mine paying the bill. A large group of people came in and were waiting to be seated, blocking the door for me to leave. They saw me trying to get through, but chose to ignore me. I kept saying "excuse me" but they just looked at me then turned and kept talking to each other. I pushed my way through the group, running over feet, shoes and toes and sideswiped a few. I heard one of the guys say something and I turned around and told him to piss off and get the f@ck out of the way next time. Tolerance? Meh, I don't need it anymore, I just do my thing and to hell with the rest of them. I kinda like things better this way.

Edited by rollingtrouble, 29 August 2011 - 12:24 AM.

[nomis]

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help.....

I'm not convinced tomsov. You sound pretty pissed with the situation you find yourself in. At one year I don't find that surprising. You're having to learn a lot of new ways to cope.

But your anger, apparently along with some racial issues, probably goes back to your earlier life. This is a good opportunity to learn some new social skills and coping mechanisms.

[mike13]

After I put the first post up I kept thinking about it, and I have realized that I am SO pissed and have numerous anger issues.
The parking thing O ya that one gets to me, luckily I am one of those people that do seriously speak my mind and when I upset them I say stand in line!
And davjed it has been 5 years for me and I never really dealt with it, I had to get re-aquainted with my new stupid body. I was like, I am paralized, My Wife is dead, and I will not be walking again, end of subject. Now lets try and go forward, I have kids. now being 50 and the 5 year thing. I am just now starting to deal with the whole thing by myself no therapist. No Ins. I am sure some can understand. hahaha...
And Vanessamaee I truly love that one to, Yes I have wheels on my ASS but the head is fine dillweed! hahaha............
Hey KayDub, I love the O you are doing so good in the chair, Like they are some kind of a friggen expert in the feild, hahaha
I had some friends over that are deaf, and what I realized that even though they can't hear I was talking louder?
And when they left let me tell you, I was beating myself up over that one...hahahahaha........
At times I also notice that I am having the anger yes but also jealousy, because they are able to do things I cannot, then there is the they have a partner and I am without.
I know this is long but see what happens, I get on a role and look out...........hahahahahahahahahahaha..............

[Irish Wheelz]

To me, I hate stupid people, and their everywher. When I want to use the handicapp stall in the bathroom but some shit head runs in before I roll in, I get piss off. I had many stuff happen to me, frome being cut in line to where people who aren't even handicapp are park in the disable parking. Some people just don't have common sense. You just can't waste your energy on them, it's just more headache for you than it is to them.

[Parachute]

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

Hi tomsov

Just as you see that "some black person screwed up the system" people see you as a disabled person. It is a shame that we don not see people as people and we have to point out what people are in life, ie disabled, black, white. I try my best to see everyone as just a person. As long as you point out colour, people will always point you have a disability. No, it is not just you.


Parachute

[sherbs]

Parachute, on 29 August 2011 - 10:15 AM, said:

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

Hi tomsov

Just as you see that "some black person screwed up the system" people see you as a disabled person. It is a shame that we don not see people as people and we have to point out what people are in life, ie disabled, black, white. I try my best to see everyone as just a person. As long as you point out colour, people will always point you have a disability. No, it is not just you.


Parachute

sherbs, on 29 August 2011 - 08:01 PM, said:

Parachute, on 29 August 2011 - 10:15 AM, said:

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

Hi tomsov

Just as you see that "some black person screwed up the system" people see you as a disabled person. It is a shame that we don not see people as people and we have to point out what people are in life, ie disabled, black, white. I try my best to see everyone as just a person. As long as you point out colour, people will always point you have a disability. No, it is not just you.


Parachute

Very true indeed Parachute, the racist comments in the post actually shocked me,

Just because you are pissed off, please do not take it out on black / asian people.

[Kwag_Myers]

rollingtrouble, on 29 August 2011 - 12:22 AM, said:

What I've noticed is there are more idiots and inconsiderate people than ever.

Maybe you should move to Michigan. The only interaction I have with strangers is when they offer to help. In four years, I've only had one person say something insensitive to me.

As for anger, I think it comes from living in constant pain and limited mobility. That's no excuse, but it happens to us all. I had a friend who fell the same way as I did, only his spinal cord wasn't injured. Still he had the whole broken back recovery experience as I did. Even though he isn't paralyzed, he still looks like he's angry all the time.

It's normal to have a period of anger after a traumatic even, but when it lasts for years I think it's because we still haven't quite learned to live with our situation. Overcoming the physical challenges is the easy part. The emotional stuff is a life-long struggle.

The good news is, you're in good company. There are a lot of hot-heads in this forum.

[KayDub]

sherbs, on 29 August 2011 - 08:05 PM, said:

Parachute, on 29 August 2011 - 10:15 AM, said:

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

Hi tomsov

Just as you see that "some black person screwed up the system" people see you as a disabled person. It is a shame that we don not see people as people and we have to point out what people are in life, ie disabled, black, white. I try my best to see everyone as just a person. As long as you point out colour, people will always point you have a disability. No, it is not just you.


Parachute

sherbs, on 29 August 2011 - 08:01 PM, said:

Parachute, on 29 August 2011 - 10:15 AM, said:

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help. I have opened up to social security disability so i can survive. I am not waisting my money on pointless shit, i am reinvesting my social security into a college degree that is ultimately going to try to help anyone with a disability. so this is what i notice. the other day i was shopping at the dollar store. my mother and i were the next in line. there were two patal families behind us. when the store clerk said she could help the next in line which was my mother and i one family ran in front of us and then the second asked to go ahead of us becuase she only had 2 items. am i bad that i told her to move when she loaded here crap on the belt over the cart that i was filling with bags? literally two minutes later i rolled across the parking lot to the dairy queen. there was a truck blocking the only ramp to the sidewalk parked in a fire lane with a handicap placard in my way. I spent the rest of the day pissed and looking to go after any ignorant person and making them feel like crap. I can't get government aid for health insurance. Ive had to pay the last two months for my closed catheters. that is around $600. For me to take a piss. But some black person screwed the system and got caught with 12 link cards in illinois. I do rant and rave at people that take advantage of what i can't. I know that prior to my accident, i was not the ignorant person that took advantage. to the people that did i didn't care. i am honest at that one. but since my accident. i look at everyone in there stereo types. am i wrong. does anyone else look into it as much as i do? is this my way of coping? i believe in my heart i am not an asshole. i have goals, and i know were i want to be in ten years. i give credit were credit is do. i have been asked by my rehab hospital to talk to people and i enjoy doing it. i want to do more of it.

Hi tomsov

Just as you see that "some black person screwed up the system" people see you as a disabled person. It is a shame that we don not see people as people and we have to point out what people are in life, ie disabled, black, white. I try my best to see everyone as just a person. As long as you point out colour, people will always point you have a disability. No, it is not just you.


Parachute

Very true indeed Parachute, the racist comments in the post actually shocked me,

Just because you are pissed off, please do not take it out on black / asian people.

Though I replied earlier to another comment started by this post, I couldn't find a way to phrase these sentiments. Totally agreed.

[pinkcloud]

By wheeling around to seek out ignorant people, you are ] making your world full of ignorant people...we tend to go in the direction we are looking towards.

With a big bad attitude rolling around the streets looking all bitter....wake up call. many ab people can outrun you in the chair...these people you mistake for ignorant towadrs the disabled..may actually be volent towards the whole of society and may stab you. It happens.

So do us in chairs a real favour,..because just like you chose to single out benefit cheats as 'black people', so may people think all of us in chairs are bitter and twisted grumpy people like you.

By doing that you are really making a difference to us in chairs......and that wont cost 1p of your benefit money to do that. Because believe it or not..them people you hope to be qualified to help..wont all be spending their benefits on college/university fees...they will be spendng it to have a decent quality of life..you know...what we are paid it for.

[tomsov]

nomis, on 29 August 2011 - 12:51 AM, said:

tomsov, on 28 August 2011 - 04:06 AM, said:

I was recently told that my tolerance level has gone down a lot. Specifically after my accident. I am a little past the first year. I am not the one with self pity issues but i am quick to get pissed. Does anyone look at able people and ask what the f*@k they are thinking? I have openly embraced my accident. I lost my car, 2 motorcycles, my job, my legs, the ability to piss on my own... I have asked for the minimal amount of help.....

I'm not convinced tomsov. You sound pretty pissed with the situation you find yourself in. At one year I don't find that surprising. You're having to learn a lot of new ways to cope.

But your anger, apparently along with some racial issues, probably goes back to your earlier life. This is a good opportunity to learn some new social skills and coping mechanisms.

No i have embraced my disability. i don't sleep on a couch everyday. i don't eat and gorge myself to death. i wake up and go to school on my own free will filled with people i never thought to hang out with. The art Institute is a test on my mental state because the 17 and 18 year olds are so naive that i can't help but tell them that they are waisting there money. When i was first injured the first thing i communicated to my family was call my boss. even with a tube down my throat and up my nose i made that clear. when i lost my job i decided then and there what i wanted to do. Interior design to incorporate ADA accessibility with out making it look sterile. I have accepted that. and i have goals to move on with my life. i just have no tolerance for stupidity and ignorance. I don't hold back. you give me an option to do something my doctor said i couldn't do i am going to do it. Right now i am talking with engineering students to make a practical and safe way to drive a manual transmission. Being cost affective and safe. bringing two hands back to the steering wheel. i am angry on a regular basis. i am irritated at the monthly UTI that i get, and the schedule of pills i have to take. and the fact that i have to drink dr. pepper to get the nasty cotton mouth taste to go away from taking ditropan. I make jokes about me not walking. but like i said. i am pissed that i have to deal with people being lazy, and ignorant, and selfish, and naive, and wrong, and stupid, and insensitive to people that need help. i have embraced my disability. but my tolerance has gone way down. and at this rate ill just keep smoking cigarettes to cope with it. if you still think i am lying i will tell you to call my hospitals i stayed at. and the psychologist that i made cry. I didn't do anything wrong to be injured. Fate was all it was. wrong place wrong time. and not one other person got injured except my passenger