10 replies to this topic

[Ginny]

You've all had 'em, to be sure. I started out the day fine, but got a PM from a kind soul on this site, suggesting that I complete my profile. I hadn't thought much about the profile, lately. It was a good idea. I started with a simple statement about my injury and ended up producing quite a tale. I guess I haven't written all this down before. I've recounted the story many times before but it was different this time and it shook me up a bit.

I started thinking about how life is so fragile. A single second can change everything. Then, I went on to ponder how much more fragile things are for me now. I'm no longer able to run from danger although I could give a perpetrator a sound thwack with a cane. Health seems fragile, my work situation seems fragile. Everything feels breakable today.

When I was hospitalized, the psychiatrist on the floor kept dropping by to ask if I was sure I was okay and I said I was. At the time, I felt as if I could handle anything that came along...and most days, I do feel like that. But today...not so much.

[goose]

Hey Ginny...I know how you feel. Some days are just fine...no problems. But if I stop to think about 'IT' and let my mind relive my past experiences, I tend to feel alittle overwhelmed and out of control. Strange events seem to trigger me....like having to explain to someone I haven't seen or talked to in a long time about my accident or something as little as seeing an old picture of myself before SCI. I've learned I can't let my mind wonder back and recreate certain events.

When this happens shut your mind off from the negatives, try to refocus on a good memory. Get busy doing something that you enjoy during. Don't dweal on the things that you can't change. My SCI was 25 years ago and it still can be overwhelming at times. It's okay to have moments of self pity as long as they are just that 'moments'. Let the emotions out ...then move on or they will strangle you.

Sorry you had a bad day today but tommorrow can be better. I'm glad you shared your pain with us and I hope it helped getting it off your chest. I wish I could give you a hug. You deserve one or two or three or four....

[Steven K]

Understandable, I've been having intense scary flashbacks of my accident, no problems yet but I'm pretty sure I'll go crazy one day and it don't help. The way I look at it, you have your good days and your bad days. Personally, I'm good for 1 bad day per 3 good days. Console yourself in the fact that tomorrow might get better.

[LeviM]

Sorry you're having a rough day, hope tomorrow is a better one!

[pinkcloud]

hi ginny

life has been fragile since the day we are born, just because we have so many yesturdays to give us a false sense of security that this is not the case for us....does not mean that we will have 'yesturdays' til the end of all time.

We are lucky, we learn to live in the moment and appreciate it, knowing that the next may be life changing. Not many in life see this...and waste so much time trying to block out the present moment..just waiting for the next moment to bring something amazing...
some live their whole life just waiting...

this time, your feelings..it will pass - your moving on forwards to the next level. Look back on how you survived sci so far....you may not know how you did this..and you dont need to know or even understand....just have trust and belief in yaself ya can carry on, just as you have done so far x

[Tetracyclone]

I second what Pink said. Awareness off life's fragility is a bit much to handle, yet is is the reality of human life. It is a reality that spiritual warriors hope to embrace each day.

It is am opportunity to learn fear management.

Thanks for the profile. It is moving, well-written, and I find myself also facing fragility afresh after reading it.

Edited by Tetracyclone, 01 September 2011 - 02:43 AM.

[madhouse73]

Some days it is harder than others and we all have them .I have bad days to where i still want to do the why me. And like you they tend to hit when you have to explain it to Drs or write he whole story out

[ClaraTaylor]

*Passes over a mars bars*

You don't have to be perfect /all/ of the time and everyone is allowed days where we just want to stay in our night gown and hide from the world. But tomorrow might be better. We'll find out in the morning. Til then, keep safe, keep strong, keep being yourself.

[KayDub]

:big hug:

I read your new about me and it's really wonderfully written. It's very candid and I appreciate what you said so much. I think many of us on here have been very close to death (myself included) and we all share that unique life changing experience. It really alters how you perceive waking up each day and how fragile life can be. So thank you for writing that :-)

[wheeliebear75]

I think for most of us we live our lives being blissfully unaware of how many dangers are out there or how fragile our bodies really are...until that is....something goes "hell west & crooked". I think goose put it VERY well....that we have to let those emotions out from time to time but then to move on so those emotions don't choke us. I got hurt not too long after goose did, I got hurt April 1990 so 21yrs for me & I too have those times every now & then when it just HITS ME! Not just of pre-sci vs. post but how over time physically I've just slowly deteriorated and from time to time with each bout of BAD health/PAIN that has me stuck in bed it seems as though afterwards when I CAN get back up & in my chair again the effort it takes to accomplish daily tasks just gets worse & worse each time (that's pretty much just about every winter ).

For the most part I think even those who are not religious or believe in any sort of "higher power" can find wisdom in the "Serenity Prayer"
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.



But those BAD DAYS for me are like a tunnel; I try to just focus on what ever light I can find & let all the pain, the hurt, & frustration be that darkness in the peripheral vision....& just focus FOCUS FOCUS on THE LIGHT til it's "past" or at least a shorter tunnel/brighter day & I CAN "deal".

I also 2nd what goose said about wanting to send a bunch of hugs your way.

[Ginny]

Thanks everyone, good advice all around! Feeling much better and focusing on workouts, work and things that seem normal. Thanks again!