7 replies to this topic

[Cathelena]

I am 41 and live alone with no family, except one younger sister with a family of her own. I know i shouldnt dwell on it, but lately i cant help thinking about what will happen as i grow older and become unable to care for myself. i know that im a born worrier and should just live each day as it comes, but does anyone else have these thoughts??

[Edinburgh Colin]

Cathelena, on 17 September 2011 - 01:52 AM, said:

I am 41 and live alone with no family, except one younger sister with a family of her own. I know i shouldnt dwell on it, but lately i cant help thinking about what will happen as i grow older and become unable to care for myself. i know that im a born worrier and should just live each day as it comes, but does anyone else have these thoughts??

You are not alone, I have a wife 10 years younger than me, 3 children, 2 brothers younger than me living very close and my parents are still alive. Yet occasionally I do think what would I do in 15 or 20 years if for some reason they were not here or would not help.
I would suggest that worrying about it is very unhealthy, you are still young, get out there and socalise there is no reason why you need to be single for ever!
Chin up,
EC

[Cathelena]

Edinburgh Colin, on 17 September 2011 - 06:43 AM, said:

Cathelena, on 17 September 2011 - 01:52 AM, said:

I am 41 and live alone with no family, except one younger sister with a family of her own. I know i shouldnt dwell on it, but lately i cant help thinking about what will happen as i grow older and become unable to care for myself. i know that im a born worrier and should just live each day as it comes, but does anyone else have these thoughts??

You are not alone, I have a wife 10 years younger than me, 3 children, 2 brothers younger than me living very close and my parents are still alive. Yet occasionally I do think what would I do in 15 or 20 years if for some reason they were not here or would not help.
I would suggest that worrying about it is very unhealthy, you are still young, get out there and socalise there is no reason why you need to be single for ever!
Chin up,
EC

Cheers Colin, your right, Your message really cheered me up

[Tetracyclone]

Probably when you hit menopause you will stop worrying so much.

[nomis]

Everyone who is alive will wonder at some time what their parting pathing might take. You can't learn anything from thinking and worrying about it now. You don't know what happens next and your circumstances will probably change many times with some surprises.

But if you are the kinda person who gets a kick out of worrying then it's fine to choose that, too.

I've got another 20 years on you and in that time my life has made three major changes I did not anticipate plus many many more minor ones. In the last three years I've got to know a new bunch of people, very supportive types who all help each other. It just happened out of nowhere. It's all there if you are open to it. Let life surprise you.

[brockit79]

Cathelena, on 17 September 2011 - 01:52 AM, said:

I am 41 and live alone with no family, except one younger sister with a family of her own. I know i shouldnt dwell on it, but lately i cant help thinking about what will happen as i grow older and become unable to care for myself. i know that im a born worrier and should just live each day as it comes, but does anyone else have these thoughts??

Cathelina,

I worry too, I hate the fact I'm a natural born worrier and work really hard to not go over board; I recommend meditation, breathing techniques and as already stated you need to focus on the here and now, this takes a bit of discipline and time but persevere and it will come. I read a book a couple of years ago which changed my life and I count it as being instrumental in my conversion from worry to death about the future to worry less about the future, make here as good as you can get it then the future may a be good one.

I live on my own too but see both of my parents a lot. I have been realising lately that they are ageing now, I have realised that this is something I didn't notice before. My brother and sister have families of their own too. I do think who will be there when I grow old? People are always saying "you are young you will meet someone" etc. but right now it doesn't feel that way and to be fair I think I need to get more independent first so I have thought about what can I do now to ensure I am around people and keeping my busy body mind occupied.

For me, getting involved in voluntary work has been a real eye opener; about myself and how much I have to give, be it taking messages, peer support giving my views as a 'service user' and how I enjoy this type of thing; and how many people with a range of disabilities are under-represented and rely on organisations from the 3rd sector to help them. I have become rather passionate about this and aim to get more involved when I am more mobile and have mechanisms in place which enable mwe to do so.

I also plan to take part in sporting activities and although I am not yet able to do the things I want to do for various reasons I get involved where I can e.g my local rotary club organised a sports afternoon for disabled people I got to try boccia and mini golf (for which I won a medal btw)I loved it.

I guess the point I'm making by giving you these examples is that by being receptive to ideas and just having a go it can lead to great things to occupy your body and thoughts, you may discover a passion for something you never knew existed.

I'm new to SCI and I try not to think too much about the future but I am confident that life will resume again soon so i can take it from there.

Broc

[Cathelena]

brockit79, on 12 October 2011 - 06:48 AM, said:

Cathelena, on 17 September 2011 - 01:52 AM, said:

I am 41 and live alone with no family, except one younger sister with a family of her own. I know i shouldnt dwell on it, but lately i cant help thinking about what will happen as i grow older and become unable to care for myself. i know that im a born worrier and should just live each day as it comes, but does anyone else have these thoughts??

Cathelina,

I worry too, I hate the fact I'm a natural born worrier and work really hard to not go over board; I recommend meditation, breathing techniques and as already stated you need to focus on the here and now, this takes a bit of discipline and time but persevere and it will come. I read a book a couple of years ago which changed my life and I count it as being instrumental in my conversion from worry to death about the future to worry less about the future, make here as good as you can get it then the future may a be good one.

I live on my own too but see both of my parents a lot. I have been realising lately that they are ageing now, I have realised that this is something I didn't notice before. My brother and sister have families of their own too. I do think who will be there when I grow old? People are always saying "you are young you will meet someone" etc. but right now it doesn't feel that way and to be fair I think I need to get more independent first so I have thought about what can I do now to ensure I am around people and keeping my busy body mind occupied.

For me, getting involved in voluntary work has been a real eye opener; about myself and how much I have to give, be it taking messages, peer support giving my views as a 'service user' and how I enjoy this type of thing; and how many people with a range of disabilities are under-represented and rely on organisations from the 3rd sector to help them. I have become rather passionate about this and aim to get more involved when I am more mobile and have mechanisms in place which enable mwe to do so.

I also plan to take part in sporting activities and although I am not yet able to do the things I want to do for various reasons I get involved where I can e.g my local rotary club organised a sports afternoon for disabled people I got to try boccia and mini golf (for which I won a medal btw)I loved it.

I guess the point I'm making by giving you these examples is that by being receptive to ideas and just having a go it can lead to great things to occupy your body and thoughts, you may discover a passion for something you never knew existed.

I'm new to SCI and I try not to think too much about the future but I am confident that life will resume again soon so i can take it from there.

Broc

Hi Brockit,

Thanks so much for such a great reply to my post. I found it really motivational.

Cathelena

[isobar]

I guess it's normal to reflect on one's life situation and ponder what's ahead of you. Life's a funny thing you can make all the plans you want , do everything by the book as you see it and something may get in your way. In contrast plan nothing and end up living a so called dream life. You can achieve every goal you set out to and still be unhappy at the end of the day. Sometimes the chase gives far more pleasure than possessing the thing you desired. We dont know what's ahead of us but we surely know what's behind us. If you feel something is missing in your life try to get it even if it doesn't last ....... you lived a thing you wanted to experience. Who really knows !!! In so many things life is its on master and surely the ultimate teacher.

Edited by isobar, 13 October 2011 - 05:02 AM.