17 replies to this topic

[Vanessamaee]

Ive decided I want to write a book, at first I was gonna do it over my life, becoming paralyzed as a teenager blah blah blah... BUT I decided I really didn't feel like that going out to the world and also I have trouble taking things seriously. I had an idea today after telling someone funny stories of times people have said something stupid to me, that I want to make a book over it, almost like a joke book mixed with FML. and I told my dad and he had ideas about it too, interviewing different kinds of people and maybe have different sections like "Stupid things said to someone in a wheelchair" "Stupid things said to a blind person" "Stupid things said to..." etc.

Does anyone have any stupid things said to them? or any ideas for this?

Today I had a funny one. I was sitting in class and a kid looked over and said "Did you know midgets can get handicap parking permits?" and I looked at him and said "yes" and then he said "NO, I mean YOU could get a handicap parking permit for being a midget since your only like 4 feet tall now!" and I looked at him and said "Did you know you can also get one for being in a wheelchair?" and he was like "OH YA! You could get two!"

[Denna]

OMG thats funny! there are a thread kinda like this. I will try and find it for you. Dont really have anything funny stupid said to me. Just stupid. Had a friend who said she couldnt see how my husband has sex with me sense apparently I just lay there. Hmm.. She must not have an active imagination.

[tsh3406]

One of my best ones.... short, short version....

I pull into a parking lot, get out of my truck, lead my German Shepherd out, and head up a sidewalk. It's summer, I'm wearing black Rayban sunglasses. I pass a dude on a park bench who had been watching me the entire time. I go in a building, come back out a little while later without my sunglasses on, and head back towards my truck. He looks at me and I stare right back and say "hey". He gets this slightly freaked out/scared look on his face and says, serious as he could be, "Holy SHIT! You can SEE now?!?!"

Denna, on 14 October 2011 - 12:08 AM, said:

OMG thats funny! there are a thread kinda like this. I will try and find it for you. Dont really have anything funny stupid said to me. Just stupid. Had a friend who said she couldnt see how my husband has sex with me sense apparently I just lay there. Hmm.. She must not have an active imagination.

I thought that what women did? ;)

[Harry3082]

I'm not sure if you'll would call this studid or what?
I wheeled Into my Dentist office and said to the receptionist "Harry here for 1:30 appointment" Looking Me^ straight in the eyes she says "Please take a seat and he will be with you shorty" I replied "I brought one with Me^" she looked at Me^ confused, and I said "Never mind!" while lol inside!

[Charlie-boi]

Sounds good! Could have a section on teasing able bodied people like! People always ask me what i do at the gym! I just reply with a seriose face "I only train legs but went heavy on squats" and litrally no one ever questions me or even batters an eyelid!

A funny thing I have found to do also which my mates find hilarious is put my legs up on the steering dash of the car! And drive by people using the hand controls!! I know it's not the safest on a motorway/free way but people expressions are priceless!!

[Denna]

Har Dee Har Har! Tsh3406

[Scott_C4-5]

tsh3406, on 14 October 2011 - 12:17 AM, said:

One of my best ones.... short, short version....

I pull into a parking lot, get out of my truck, lead my German Shepherd out, and head up a sidewalk. It's summer, I'm wearing black Rayban sunglasses. I pass a dude on a park bench who had been watching me the entire time. I go in a building, come back out a little while later without my sunglasses on, and head back towards my truck. He looks at me and I stare right back and say "hey". He gets this slightly freaked out/scared look on his face and says, serious as he could be, "Holy SHIT! You can SEE now?!?!"

Now that's funny.


My mom has been asked things (regarding me) like, "Does his toenails grow?"

Right off hand, I can't think of things asked of me personally... I'll think on it.

[Vanessamaee]

Haha these are great so far! (:

When I had gotten home from the hospital we had a family dinner. this consisted of me, my parents, my brother, my sister, my brother in law, and my two nieces. My sister was sitting across from me and started kicking me thinking I wouldnt notice, my arms were in my lap so I could feel the knocking into my legs and said "stop kicking me!" and my mom turns to us and says "Do I need to seperate you two!?" (my sister is 31 by the way) and my sister, straight faced yels "She kicked me first!" ...seriously... lol

[Harry3082]

She kicked Me^ First! That's Funny!!! Sorry, it was a Spasm! lol

[MTB John]

Oh please do a chapter on stupid questions tourists ask..

Alas I can only think of one off hand -

Asked during a caving tour: 'Can you go caving at night?'

Of course there is only one right answer to a question like this: 'Yes. But it's twice as dark so you need to flashlights..'

Oh, I had a lady on a trekking trip who spent the entire day staring at her feet and then asked my why she had not seen any birds..

[Vanessamaee]

MTB John, on 14 October 2011 - 04:35 AM, said:

Oh please do a chapter on stupid questions tourists ask..

Alas I can only think of one off hand -

Asked during a caving tour: 'Can you go caving at night?'

Of course there is only one right answer to a question like this: 'Yes. But it's twice as dark so you need to flashlights..'

Oh, I had a lady on a trekking trip who spent the entire day staring at her feet and then asked my why she had not seen any birds..

That's too funny! Ill definatly have to do a section over that!!

[Kayak Girl]

Great idea!

We were in a kayak club meeting and were discussing how to chose the next chairman. My dad suggested we could play musical chairs and whoever still had a chair at the end would be the chairman. I looked at my boyfriend (sitting in his wheelchair) and said "That's not fair!"

We went to buy dive knives for kayaking and my boyfriend told the salesman "Yeah, she's afraid of getting her legs wrapped up in the kelp if she goes over. Me not so much." (He has no legs)

OK so those weren't the best... I'll try to come up with some better ones. My boyfriend always says funny things to shock people but I can't remeber them now. LOL

I can't wait to read it when it's done!

[A trophy guy]

Ooooh, this is a good thread. I don't know where to begin...

How about I had a guy come up to me at my old gym, a middle-age guy, and ask me "Where do people in wheelchairs buy clothes?" Wha-wha-WHAT?

I had to stifle my response of "The same places DUMB f*@kS buy clothes!" His elderly mother(who used a wheelchair) was having a birthday coming up, and he wanted to know where he could buy her something.

I miraculously kept my sarcastic mouth shut and merely told him we buy our clothes just like everyone else does. But geez.

[Epiphany]

So I was on campus last week, a stupid jock trots up to me and says, "I know something you don't know!" I rolled my eyes and listened, "It's raining outside."

Of course it was, I could hear the thunder.

I then said, "I know something you don't know."

He looked at me confused.

I said, "Your fly is down..."

Ah, the benefits of being at belt-buckle level.

[A trophy guy]

I had a guy (a young guy) ask me, after I told him what happened to me, why I didn't just "cut 'em off" (my legs, that is). He said I'd get around so much better without all that dead weight hanging off my body.

[tsh3406]

Here's another of my favorite stories to share....

I get pulled over for speeding, highway patrolman aproaches my truck. He looks at me, looks back at my wheelchair in the truck bed, then back at me.... "Mr. Howard, can you step out of the vehicle please...."

[Vanessamaee]

tsh3406, on 27 October 2011 - 06:37 PM, said:

Here's another of my favorite stories to share....

I get pulled over for speeding, highway patrolman aproaches my truck. He looks at me, looks back at my wheelchair in the truck bed, then back at me.... "Mr. Howard, can you step out of the vehicle please...."

Ok so I probably SHOULDNT laugh at this but thats REALLY funny (: and the book is definatly a work in progress lol Its going to take awhile... aka... I need more stupid things/jokes (:

[Vanessamaee]

So I just thought of this thread today and with so many new members some people have ought to have some more funny stories/questions!

I had someone ask me "If you cut your leg, will you still bleed?" I also went to the doctors and the nurse siad "Oh, you were paralyzed about 6 months ago? I said yes. and then she asks me to stand so she can get my height (: