10 replies to this topic

[DrNismo420]

What products have you used?

(altered or not.)

-cribs?
-slings


im afraid of dropping the baby (i lack grib or control of my fingers)
and i would be a stay at home dad

[KayDub]

From your profile and other posts it looks as though you thought you accidentally got your girlfriend pregnant. Now for sure she's not. But you're still asking these questions. I'd really focus on whether you are ready for a child at this point in your life and your relationship. You don't have to be married first (I'm far from traditional), but you may want to. I love my fiance more than anything in the entire world and want to have children with him someday but I know now I want to focus on my education and employment so when we do settle down we've experience life without kids (traveling, going out, exploring the world) and are able to provide the best and most stable life for our kids. Look at your finances. Having a job in this economy isn't enough. If your girlfriend works at a store or a restaurant it's possible in two weeks she won't with all the layoffs and store closures. I know the same is true with career jobs (jobs with future promotion and benefits) but hopefully there will be more options and benefits. I'm not trying to be negative at all, just be really sure you're absolutely ready to have kids now. A lot of people will plays devil's advocate with me and say there's no right time for kids and you can never be ready, but I still don't see what's wrong with trying to be as ready as you possibly can. It's the most fair thing to the child.

As far as the adaptive questions, there's a few women on here who are quads and are excellent mothers! mellowgator is the only one I can think of off the top of my head. They'll be able to help you with these quad specific baby questions.

[guyd]

http://babymattresse...io-product.html

works quite well, as the cot height can be altered to be the same as the bed height, plus the chair can go underneath to use the cot as a change table

[DrNismo420]

guyd, on 03 November 2011 - 11:16 AM, said:

http://babymattresse...io-product.html

works quite well, as the cot height can be altered to be the same as the bed height, plus the chair can go underneath to use the cot as a change table

Thank YOU, for actually replying to the post. :]

[Vanessamaee]

KayDub, on 02 November 2011 - 08:27 PM, said:

From your profile and other posts it looks as though you thought you accidentally got your girlfriend pregnant. Now for sure she's not. But you're still asking these questions. I'd really focus on whether you are ready for a child at this point in your life and your relationship. You don't have to be married first (I'm far from traditional), but you may want to. I love my fiance more than anything in the entire world and want to have children with him someday but I know now I want to focus on my education and employment so when we do settle down we've experience life without kids (traveling, going out, exploring the world) and are able to provide the best and most stable life for our kids. Look at your finances. Having a job in this economy isn't enough. If your girlfriend works at a store or a restaurant it's possible in two weeks she won't with all the layoffs and store closures. I know the same is true with career jobs (jobs with future promotion and benefits) but hopefully there will be more options and benefits. I'm not trying to be negative at all, just be really sure you're absolutely ready to have kids now. A lot of people will plays devil's advocate with me and say there's no right time for kids and you can never be ready, but I still don't see what's wrong with trying to be as ready as you possibly can. It's the most fair thing to the child.

As far as the adaptive questions, there's a few women on here who are quads and are excellent mothers! mellowgator is the only one I can think of off the top of my head. They'll be able to help you with these quad specific baby questions.

If you look on his (or hers if its his girlfriend using the account) it says "Not pregnant Atleast we have more time to plan" or something similar to that, so Im assuming they have atleast thought about, and have discussed having children. And the fact that he (or she) is asking for advice from others who may have had children while being in a wheelchair, is a good start to planning too. when bringing a child into this world you need to account for everything, so I find this to be a very reasonable post along with all other they have posted about children. I feel that if this were me asking (which being 17, it definatly wouldnt be) your post is slightly hostil.

As far as any products... Im sorry I cant help you to much there. I know that baby carriers can be used for moving around with the baby, it keeps the baby close to you and also (depending on what kind you get) can support the head

http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/
Thats just one site of many out there.
Also maybe finding a lower crib/changing table (or just modify it yourself) can help you. This way you could possibly have a baby in a car seat of some kind and use that to safely transfer it from your lap to the table? I dont really know, Im 17 and havent really thought to much about kids (:

There are several women here I know for sure that have had children. Twisted Ophelia JUST had a baby a couple weeks ago and her and the dad are both in wheelchairs, she would be a great help.
Good luck (:

[KayDub]

Vanessamaee, on 03 November 2011 - 11:10 PM, said:

KayDub, on 02 November 2011 - 08:27 PM, said:

From your profile and other posts it looks as though you thought you accidentally got your girlfriend pregnant. Now for sure she's not. But you're still asking these questions. I'd really focus on whether you are ready for a child at this point in your life and your relationship. You don't have to be married first (I'm far from traditional), but you may want to. I love my fiance more than anything in the entire world and want to have children with him someday but I know now I want to focus on my education and employment so when we do settle down we've experience life without kids (traveling, going out, exploring the world) and are able to provide the best and most stable life for our kids. Look at your finances. Having a job in this economy isn't enough. If your girlfriend works at a store or a restaurant it's possible in two weeks she won't with all the layoffs and store closures. I know the same is true with career jobs (jobs with future promotion and benefits) but hopefully there will be more options and benefits. I'm not trying to be negative at all, just be really sure you're absolutely ready to have kids now. A lot of people will plays devil's advocate with me and say there's no right time for kids and you can never be ready, but I still don't see what's wrong with trying to be as ready as you possibly can. It's the most fair thing to the child.

As far as the adaptive questions, there's a few women on here who are quads and are excellent mothers! mellowgator is the only one I can think of off the top of my head. They'll be able to help you with these quad specific baby questions.

If you look on his (or hers if its his girlfriend using the account) it says "Not pregnant Atleast we have more time to plan" or something similar to that, so Im assuming they have atleast thought about, and have discussed having children. And the fact that he (or she) is asking for advice from others who may have had children while being in a wheelchair, is a good start to planning too. when bringing a child into this world you need to account for everything, so I find this to be a very reasonable post along with all other they have posted about children. I feel that if this were me asking (which being 17, it definatly wouldnt be) your post is slightly hostil.

As far as any products... Im sorry I cant help you to much there. I know that baby carriers can be used for moving around with the baby, it keeps the baby close to you and also (depending on what kind you get) can support the head

http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/
Thats just one site of many out there.
Also maybe finding a lower crib/changing table (or just modify it yourself) can help you. This way you could possibly have a baby in a car seat of some kind and use that to safely transfer it from your lap to the table? I dont really know, Im 17 and havent really thought to much about kids (:

There are several women here I know for sure that have had children. Twisted Ophelia JUST had a baby a couple weeks ago and her and the dad are both in wheelchairs, she would be a great help.
Good luck (:

Sorry V (and the OP), I didn't intend for it to be hostile at all. I didn't see all those other posts. It was a case of me skimming through things quickly, jumping to opinions even more quickly and typing my response even more quickly all while I wasn't in the best mood to be posting on sensitive issues like this. So you're right my tone was absolutely uncalled for and I apologize. In the future I'll make sure I've read everything that's relevant to a topic like this before writing a response.

On the topic, I don't think age has anything at all to do with being ready for a kid, I just thought these were questions being asked right after whether his girlfriend could be pregnant. I did just want to add some other questions to be thinking about if that were the case. They definitely should have been conveyed in a different way. Since you mentioned the other post I didn't see, you're probably right about a lot more thought being put into the decision than I thought there had been. I did just want to help him think about the whole process if he hadn't, and I assumed incorrectly him and his girlfriend had not. So my apologies for the misunderstanding and I am supportive of whatever decision he and his girlfriend come to, this website is the best place to get the information you won't get elsewhere.

The things you added are good resources, and like I said before I'd definitely talk to mellowgator, I believe she has a similar injury level and raised two wonderful young ladies and would be a wealth of knowledge. Since I'm a para and have no children I can only tell you don't let anyone convince you you can't care for a child because of your injury. It's not comparable at all but I'm working my way back into my children's ski school job and there's also a nursery, so if I come along any tips that work for me, I'll send them your way.

Good luck!!

Edited by KayDub, 04 November 2011 - 12:47 AM.

[tsh3406]

Jeez Kay, you're such a hard-ass ;)

This won't help much for a year or two, but lil pups love to stand on my feet and ride around. They just hang on til I quit moving, no need for a carrier, lol....

[KayDub]

I totally was the kid who beat up other kids for their lunches in grade school :-p (actually, despite being taller than everyone, I was hiding under the tree, reading and wearing my gigantic pink glasses, shhhh)

[wheeliebear75]

DrNismo420, on 02 November 2011 - 03:18 AM, said:

What products have you used?

(altered or not.)

-cribs?
-slings


im afraid of dropping the baby (i lack grib or control of my fingers)
and i would be a stay at home dad

I used a swing that had a flip up tray on it. A porta-crib so that I could have the baby in easy reach from bed but not IN bed where I could possibly roll over on them. I had a sling for under 4 months & a baby carrier with leg holes once they were older & wanting to sit up & look around. The highchair also had open front once you took off the tray & undid the safety belt so I didn't have to lift UP. Also having a bassinet that had wheels made it so I could push baby from living-room to nursery. The stroller we had could be pushed OR pulled because the handle switched with the pull of a lever......and yes it still had an infant car-seat that went with it. I also used a harness on my kids because when they were 6mo-2&1/2 I could pick them up off the ground one handed + I could then put an over-sized pant's belt around YOU & then hook/loop it through the harness so that they're tethered to you (makes for a safer lap ride.....no falling off of your lap).

For the clips & buckle you might have some trouble due to the lack of hand function/finger strength......but I think the SLING won't require too much hand function once you've got the size adjusted you might still be able to use your arms to pull baby into the sling.....but I'm not 100% of how much arm strength you have.

I've got 4 kids all born post-SCI....but neurologically I'm AOK above L1, so if these ideas don't work for ya my apologies.

[AliGibson]

Hi there,

We converted a regular cot so that the front panel became two opening 'gates'. This enabled me to sit right next to the cot and \i was not required to lift our baby in/out at all.
We used regular slings/carriers and I can recommend the Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier
Good luck!

Ali

[mellowgator]

it's been a long time since my kids were small they are now 16 & 18.

i used a desk as a changing table and was able to roll under it for dressing and diaper changes. i also had a cradle on wheels so i could have the baby sleep right beside me. i also had a large velcro strap that i put around both of us when the babies were big enough to sit in my lap. this was great for rolling them into my van safely. when the babies were tiny i had a sling that had straps sewn on the ends that enabled me to pick up the babies and support their head with one hand.

i also nursed which saved me from having to wash and heat up bottles in the middle of the night.

my husband worked the 3pm-11pm shift while the kids were small and i had a nanny come in from 4pm-8pm to help me put the girls to bed.

i also had my kids undergo lessons which taught them how to float until someone could save them if they fell into the pool or canal. this gave me great piece of mind since i had drowning nightmares while pregnant and live on the river and have a pool.

i also had a regular crib that i was able to undo the latch with my hands instead of kicking like they are designed. i also had a car-seat stroller which was great so i didn't have to wake up the kids if they fell alsleep in the car, i'd just attach the seat to the wheels and away we went.

mellowgator