10 replies to this topic

[Ironside]

Does anybody else live part of their life in the past? When I was able bodied, I lived for the moment, I never used to look back through the years. It's completely different now, I often find myself thinking about when I was able bodied. I suppose that's quite normal really, we would all like to go back and do it differently. Stay away from swimming pools, be a bit more careful up that ladder, stick to a car and not a motorbike. If only we could turn back time

[Glor]

Ironside

Are you having a bad day? I read some of your other posts and saw your picture with that lovely girlfriend. I know it is natural to look bad, but don't torment yourself with thoughts of the past... it can add NOTHING to your current life. You have someone special, who quite possibly would NOT be in your life, had you not had this accident. That is one bonus and if you look for more, you'll find them. You look like a wonderfully open and dynamic person and you need to live in a way thats true to that... We all get negative thoughts and feel down and that is when we tend to become focussed on the past... Everytime you feel this way, just train yourself to replace the images and thoughts with the FUTURE...better still remain in the present and make today the best day you've ever had. Treat yourself to special things...

I hope this helps...a tini tiny bit...

Forca...
G

[Gary Anderson]

ironside

Sometimes I too wish things had never happened. However, I have looked at your website and you have a lovely girlfriend. So focus on her.


My marriage broke up 18 years ago at the time of my accident. Only this year, a long term relationship broke up through the strain of another paralysing accident affecting not only myself but my nephew. So, I reckon the past would be a good place to be. HOwever, "If Only" are the two saddest words there are and the hard part is rising above the "blues" or whatever you call them. What happened happened and nothing we can do will change that. If we spend time moping we will only waste the time we have and life is too short.

Gary

PS Have just read your new website. Hate to ask this but did your web pages not once have a photo of you with your little boy? If they did, then you have something I dont and you should focus on him.

[sweetie]

Ironside, on Jul 23 2006, 12:15 AM, said:

Does anybody else live part of their life in the past? When I was able bodied, I lived for the moment, I never used to look back through the years. It's completely different now, I often find myself thinking about when I was able bodied. I suppose that's quite normal really, we would all like to go back and do it differently. Stay away from swimming pools, be a bit more careful up that ladder, stick to a car and not a motorbike. If only we could turn back time

Ironside I think most can relate to how you feel I for one never sat down, and if only I did not ride that day or went later or the other way. But one thing is sure like most we are here to tell all That I am gratefull for I can still see my children and have a day out.
Turning back time will never happen but getting the most out of the future can. I find sitting with my hubby having a few drinks help because that is what we did before and some things never change!!
And I do not think I would do things differently just be more caustious. Take care

[Ironside]

Gary Anderson, on Jul 24 2006, 04:53 PM, said:

ironside

The litre that PS Have just read your new website. Hate to ask this but did your web pages not once have a photo of you with your little boy? If they did, then you have something I dont and you should focus on him.

Not sure if this is a rhetorical question. If it isn't, yes, I have some photos of when I was a little nipper.

I must come across as a right sad old git. That is further from the truth as you could get. I didn't put the original thread in the right words really. I am not constantly wishing like turn back time, it's just a fantasy that I have every now and then. Let me put it into perspective, there are loads of blokes outthere who would like to shag Kylie Minogue, it's never going to happen, but it's a nice fantasy. That's all I'm doing. I often think that if I could go back to when I was 13 knowing what I know now, how different it would all be. I would probably turn into right tart. All those missed opportunities because I was too embarrassed. I do think if only I could go back to when I was standing next to the swimming pool about to dive in, but I don't think about that too often.. like someone, I have got quite a lot going for me now and I would have never met Danielle is my accident it hadn't had happened.

Do you still think I am a nut?
photos page

Edited by Ironside, 24 July 2006 - 05:11 PM.

[juls]

Ironside,
i get what your saying..ther's no point beating yourself up with the what ifs though, but i quite often find myself staring off into space for an hour or so dancing, surfing, running..all those things i loved to do before the accident. As long as it's not all you think about i think its fine to visit the past every now and then

[Gary Anderson]

Quote

Do you still think I am a nut?

Ironside - Never for a minute thought you were a "nut." I take very seriously the mind problems that come with para/quadraplegia. Never for a minute do I take them lightly.

Re the "PS." I perhaps am mistaken. Long time ago, I came across a website that looked similar to yours and there was a lovely photo of the guy with a gorgeous girl and a little boy. I just assumed it was your website. You know what they say, never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me!

[Philip]

We all do look to the past. The question you have to ask yourself would your current state of mind be any differant. I remember once I was sitting on the couch very depressed. I was blaming my injury for my state of mind. After a moment I asked myself if i were not paralized what would I be doing. I'd probably be sitting on the same couch depressed because I didn't have enough money, enough time, enough education, enough this or that. Maybe I'm just depressed because I'm depressed? The samething about looking at th past, if i bought a car instead a pickup if I had left 2 mins earlier, if I had been 1 lane over if I had slowed down or speed up. What was the critacal mistake?

[Ironside]

Gary Anderson, on Jul 25 2006, 08:30 AM, said:

Quote

Do you still think I am a nut?

Ironside - Never for a minute thought you were a "nut." I take very seriously the mind problems that come with para/quadraplegia. Never for a minute do I take them lightly.

Re the "PS." I perhaps am mistaken. Long time ago, I came across a website that looked similar to yours and there was a lovely photo of the guy with a gorgeous girl and a little boy. I just assumed it was your website. You know what they say, never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me!

You could well have. If the girl had red hair then yes it was my website and my ex-girlfriend and her son

[Ironside]

I think the reason a lot of us look into the past and remember when we were disabled is because even if we don't realise it, we all detest being disabled. I know I absolutely hate being like this. I get on with life as best I can and most of the time, do enjoy it because I really don't have any other choice. It's either do that, or go insane. Believe me I would do anything to become able-bodied again. I know that's not going to happen but who knows, very soon they may be able to do something that at least gives you hand movement, sexual function etc etc. Thankfully, I'm still relatively young so there is still a chance I suppose.