82 replies to this topic

[A trophy guy]

This little anecdote never gets old. Even though it occurred almost 7yrs ago and despite everything I deal with on a daily basis, this still ranks as the top 1 or 2 "stupidest ever" comments anyone has asked/said to me.

Like I said, it was about 7 years ago and I was working out at the gym. The particular exercise I was doing needed a spotter and I had a guy whom I knew from the gym (as well as high school, soccer, etc.) giving me the assistance. Well in between sets there is a little down time, and we chatted for a min. Inevitably, he asks what happened and I give him my schpeal (which I could give in my sleep lol). He asks me if I will ever walk again and I tell him your guess is as good as mine.

It was at this point that his brow became furrowed and he stood in seemingly contemplative silence for a while. After a minute or so, he lifts his head and poses a question to me. "Did you ever just think about cutting them off?" "I mean, you'd get around so much better without all that dead weight hanging off you." "I'm just sayin'."

I was waiting for the punchline. I sat up from the bench I had been lying on and looked at him and he was looking at me in genuine, earnest curiousity. I was so caught OFF GUARD (i wish there was a stronger term) I just didn't have words! I had to stifle my derisive laughter! Did I ever think about just cutting off MY LEGS!! Yep. And be a bouncing torso. Quality of life-WAY UP. lmfao.

Who thinks like that? Regardless of whether or not he knew that I had full sensation in my legs, they are still MY LEGS. They are part of me. Even if I had no sensation, I could never imagine someone thinking like that.

I stumbled for words for a few seconds, while he was standing there waiting for me to answer, until I finally just muttered, "Nope". That's some funny shit. And that was Flint Police for ya, too. ;) Although not for long lol
(he got fired in disgrace a couple years later for some racially-tinged scandal)

Who can top that???

[lifeisgood]

that guy is just way too pratical or watches too much Dexter!

nope can not top that!

[quadinva]

Well there is a quad on here who elected for double amputation...sooo if its been done, it might be a valid question

-Bags

[A trophy guy]

Yeah, valid right. Like I said, that was the 1 or 2 stupidest things anyone has ever said/asked me.

Do you have any "stupid/funny remarks" of your own to share??

Edited by A trophy guy, 21 November 2011 - 04:10 AM.

[A trophy guy]

Killing oneself has also "been done" by those suffering the after-effects of spinal cord injury. I suppose you would regard "So why not just kill yourself?" a valid question as well?

Edited by A trophy guy, 21 November 2011 - 04:22 AM.

[lavenderthistle]

I can easily top that. My mother looked at me on my 16th birthday and said she should have, gone down instead of going all the way 16 years ago.....also the same year my adopted Mom (grandmother) died....so it was already an emotional time for me.

Dumbest thing ever said to me??? Hmmm....I guess I think that's it, but there are far deeper emotional scars in my life.


I would much rather let the idiocy of yesterday go and focus on today.

Edited by lavenderthistle, 21 November 2011 - 04:40 AM.

[goose]

I have a similar story. A few years ago I was having trouble finding shoes that would work. I was out shoe shopping and having zero luck. The person I was with asked me the same thing. They implied all my trouble would be over. I would no longer have to cut my toenails, buy shoes or socks or ever have to worry about what happened to the "other" sock. DUH...like why didn't I think of that? Some people can be so insensative!!!!

[goose]

lavenderthistle, on 21 November 2011 - 04:38 AM, said:

I can easily top that. My mother looked at me on my 16th birthday and said she should have, gone down instead of going all the way 16 years ago.....also the same year my adopted Mom (grandmother) died....so it was already an emotional time for me.

Lav...sorry, we were typing at the same time and I hadn't read this.

I'm giving THE MOST insensative award to your mom! I can't imagine how that made you feel!

Sending "HUGs" your way!!!

[lavenderthistle]

lol...she also seriously tells me my sci is MY fault and I don't deserve support....seriously!

Ah goose....we steeped southern women are a strong lot

[Irish Wheelz]

I remember I went to the docs for an ingrown toe nail. I showed the doc and he examine my foot, looks at it, first thing he said, "Can you walk on it?". I had a little chuckle, I thought he was joking to which he wasn't. I look at his face and it was a serious question. I was dumbfounded. Here he is with my medical history. Anything that happen to me medical wise was in that file he was holding in his very hands. Either he hit the pipe before he went to work or somehow he got really really really lucky on his final exam during medical school.

[Ratticis]

After 4 years of telling everyone what happened, I just decided to start screwing with people. Usually tell 'em I was attacked by ninjas Depending on their reaction depends on if I tell 'em more, or just leave it at that.
Had a kid today ask me if it's fun being in a wheelchair. It's not so much a stupid question as a curious one.

[A trophy guy]

Irish Wheelz, on 21 November 2011 - 05:11 AM, said:

I remember I went to the docs for an ingrown toe nail. I showed the doc and he examine my foot, looks at it, first thing he said, "Can you walk on it?". I had a little chuckle, I thought he was joking to which he wasn't. I look at his face and it was a serious question. I was dumbfounded. Here he is with my medical history. Anything that happen to me medical wise was in that file he was holding in his very hands. Either he hit the pipe before he went to work or somehow he got really really really lucky on his final exam during medical school.

Hahaha! That's a good one!

[A trophy guy]

quadinva, on 21 November 2011 - 03:34 AM, said:

Well there is a quad on here who elected for double amputation...sooo if its been done, it might be a valid question

-Bags

I'd really like to know who these two anonymous people are who have "liked" quadinva's assertion that asking a paraplegic if he/she has considered cutting off their legs as a convenience factor to be a valid, reasonable, non-bizarre question? (other than the double amputee quad whom you are referring to in this post, that is)

Maybe it is just me. Maybe that is a perfectly logical, commonsense type of question an inquisitive, thoughtful person would ask. But I highly doubt it.

[ClaraTaylor]

A trophy guy, on 21 November 2011 - 07:20 AM, said:

quadinva, on 21 November 2011 - 03:34 AM, said:

Well there is a quad on here who elected for double amputation...sooo if its been done, it might be a valid question

-Bags

I'd really like to know who these two anonymous people are who have "liked" quadinva's assertion that asking a paraplegic if he/she has considered cutting off their legs as a convenience factor to be a valid, reasonable, non-bizarre question? (other than the double amputee quad whom you are referring to in this post, that is)

Maybe it is just me. Maybe that is a perfectly logical, commonsense type of question an inquisitive, thoughtful person would ask. But I highly doubt it.

It was something the doctors actually talked about with me. Effectively should I end up permanently in a wheelchair I was told they could "recommend" amputation as I wouldn't be strong enough to transfer the weight of my legs. No legs - less weight to drag about.

[A trophy guy]

lavenderthistle, on 21 November 2011 - 04:38 AM, said:

I can easily top that. My mother looked at me on my 16th birthday and said she should have, gone down instead of going all the way 16 years ago.....also the same year my adopted Mom (grandmother) died....so it was already an emotional time for me.

Dumbest thing ever said to me??? Hmmm....I guess I think that's it, but there are far deeper emotional scars in my life.


I would much rather let the idiocy of yesterday go and focus on today.

What exactly are you saying in that last sentence? I mean, sure, I think generally speaking everyone would agree that it is better to focus on today and the future than to dwell on the problems/stupidity of the past. It doesn't mean, in any way however, that we can't recall, with bemused humor, some of the more outstanding instances of such stupidity.

Your example is saddening. Im sorry to hear that. No one should ever hear their mother say something like that, at any age (much less a young teen). But I wasn't trying to get people to dredge up old, painful things from their past. It was more just the stupid, silly, dumb stuff. Hence the thread title.

[ClaraTaylor]

lavenderthistle, on 21 November 2011 - 04:38 AM, said:

I can easily top that. My mother looked at me on my 16th birthday and said she should have, gone down instead of going all the way 16 years ago.....also the same year my adopted Mom (grandmother) died....so it was already an emotional time for me.

Dumbest thing ever said to me??? Hmmm....I guess I think that's it, but there are far deeper emotional scars in my life.


I would much rather let the idiocy of yesterday go and focus on today.

*HUGS*
Unfortunately there is no intelligence test to own a womb. But I'm glad she went all the way because otherwise I'd have never have met you.

P.S. I'm a drunken accident (mother forgot to take the pill owing to excessive consumption of red wine so the story goes).

[A trophy guy]

ClaraTaylor, on 21 November 2011 - 07:28 AM, said:

A trophy guy, on 21 November 2011 - 07:20 AM, said:

quadinva, on 21 November 2011 - 03:34 AM, said:

Well there is a quad on here who elected for double amputation...sooo if its been done, it might be a valid question

-Bags

I'd really like to know who these two anonymous people are who have "liked" quadinva's assertion that asking a paraplegic if he/she has considered cutting off their legs as a convenience factor to be a valid, reasonable, non-bizarre question? (other than the double amputee quad whom you are referring to in this post, that is)

Maybe it is just me. Maybe that is a perfectly logical, commonsense type of question an inquisitive, thoughtful person would ask. But I highly doubt it.

It was something the doctors actually talked about with me. Effectively should I end up permanently in a wheelchair I was told they could "recommend" amputation as I wouldn't be strong enough to transfer the weight of my legs. No legs - less weight to drag about.

What?!? Are you serious? Wow. I've never heard of such draconian measures. So that effectively guarantees not ever being able to be a recipient of any type of treatment or cure, if/when such a thing became possible. I just can't imagine a doctor, in this day and age, recommending such a thing without dire necessity.

You can build strength to be able to transfer. Granted, with one's age and particular disability level, it may be slow but it certainly makes more sense than chopping off the lower extremities in order to lighten the load. I just cannot wrap my brain around this.

Edited by A trophy guy, 21 November 2011 - 07:40 AM.

[lavenderthistle]

I was saying...I prefer letting go of the idiocy of the past....my mother is in my life no matter how I feel, so I chose to forget it as often as possible and allow her the delusion of humour. In case you missed my second comment, she blames my sci on me....laughable and stupid......yes, certainly all those things hurt, but why choose pain when we can choose laughter and making forward momentum?

A trophy guy, on 21 November 2011 - 07:29 AM, said:

lavenderthistle, on 21 November 2011 - 04:38 AM, said:

I can easily top that. My mother looked at me on my 16th birthday and said she should have, gone down instead of going all the way 16 years ago.....also the same year my adopted Mom (grandmother) died....so it was already an emotional time for me.

Dumbest thing ever said to me??? Hmmm....I guess I think that's it, but there are far deeper emotional scars in my life.


I would much rather let the idiocy of yesterday go and focus on today.

What exactly are you saying in that last sentence? I mean, sure, I think generally speaking everyone would agree that it is better to focus on today and the future than to dwell on the problems/stupidity of the past. It doesn't mean, in any way however, that we can't recall, with bemused humor, some of the more outstanding instances of such stupidity.

Your example is saddening. Im sorry to hear that. No one should ever hear their mother say something like that, at any age (much less a young teen). But I wasn't trying to get people to dredge up old, painful things from their past. It was more just the stupid, silly, dumb stuff. Hence the thread title.

Edited by lavenderthistle, 21 November 2011 - 02:22 PM.

[mellowgator]

http://www.apparelyz...__fromsearch__1

[wheelie182]

I often get the "You will walk again, you just have to believe in yourself". Which I find extremely naive seeing as they usually haven't even asked what my injury is before coming out with that crap.

Another is when they give you the religious crap. Something along the lines of "God has a place for you in his mighty plan, and this is what was supposed to happen".

Edited by wheelie182, 21 November 2011 - 02:33 PM.

[Beautiful]

The other day I was at my sister's house, and her grandpa came over. He's like, 84. He walks into the room and looks at me. First words out of his mouth: "so, what's wrong with your legs? Broken?"

Why, yes sir, they are indeed broken...

Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I've been asked if my legs are broken, I'd surely be a millionaire.


Edit: Just thought of another funny/stupid one. It also happened at my sister's house, but this time it was her step-dad that said it. He asked me how low I could feel/what I was able to move. I told him from the hips up I could feel. His jaw dropped and the biggest goofball/excited smile spread across his face as he said "SO YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS!?" Bahaha. Yes. Duh.

I should know by now, like crazy grandpa, like crazy son.

Edited by Beautiful, 21 November 2011 - 03:15 PM.

[MTB John]

I asked that question of complete injuries while in rehab. If there more hindrance then help why not get rid of them.. But I was told they do take some of the weight while transferring..

Now, story time..

Over here there are hardly any one story houses in the city, most people either live in condos or in a commercial building with a shop on the ground floor. For this reason my wife, the four dogs and I live about 30 minutes away.

My wife was telling the noodle soup lady about our new house (our first) when she asked why we did not buy a commercial building and run a business.
'What about MTB John?' (she really calls me this)
'Oh, he can be down stairs..'

I've always wanted to work out of my bedroom.

By the way, there is nothing anonymous about repping someone. Just click the number and a little list pops up..

[A trophy guy]

Another thing: How would chopping one's legs off effect them psychologically in the recovery phase of a spinal cord injury? And physically, legs ARE used in transfers. For balance and stability as well as other aspects (as well as the hips; think swivel). If one was to have their legs amputated, they would be relying on nothing but brute strength in order to transfer.

I did some searches and I could find NO medical literature backing up such a procedure. There were some OLD findings related to amputations but nothing related to current medical technologies. This sounds like Caveman medicine to me.

[Ratticis]

A trophy guy, on 22 November 2011 - 02:16 AM, said:

Another thing: How would chopping one's legs off effect them psychologically in the recovery phase of a spinal cord injury? And physically, legs ARE used in transfers. For balance and stability as well as other aspects (as well as the hips; think swivel). If one was to have their legs amputated, they would be relying on nothing but brute strength in order to transfer.

I did some searches and I could find NO medical literature backing up such a procedure. There were some OLD findings related to amputations but nothing related to current medical technologies. This sounds like Caveman medicine to me.

Did you explain any of that to the guy asking, or just treat him like a moron for not knowing? Did this guy have an SCI or know/work with many people who were, or was he just yet anoth ignorant AB trying to gain some insite into the life of someone who is SCI, but was instead treated like a moron for asking?

[Charlie-boi]

Ratticis, on 22 November 2011 - 02:25 AM, said:

A trophy guy, on 22 November 2011 - 02:16 AM, said:

Another thing: How would chopping one's legs off effect them psychologically in the recovery phase of a spinal cord injury? And physically, legs ARE used in transfers. For balance and stability as well as other aspects (as well as the hips; think swivel). If one was to have their legs amputated, they would be relying on nothing but brute strength in order to transfer.

I did some searches and I could find NO medical literature backing up such a procedure. There were some OLD findings related to amputations but nothing related to current medical technologies. This sounds like Caveman medicine to me.

Did you explain any of that to the guy asking, or just treat him like a moron for not knowing? Did this guy have an SCI or know/work with many people who were, or was he just yet anoth ignorant AB trying to gain some insite into the life of someone who is SCI, but was instead treated like a moron for asking?

This is a good point if I'm seeing it correctly! ATG Your calling this a stupid thing for the guy to say but why?? Most people don't have a clue about sci! In most cases apart from research for treatment i think this is a good thing! I just look like a guy sitting in a chair who at any second could stand!

I would hate the majority of people knowing the horrible shit we have to do whether it be to do with bladder, bowls sex etc so as far as questions go I don't think it's that unreasonable a question and I wouldn't be bothered by it in the slightest!

Now what is stupid is "advice" from your average joe! Saying stuff like you will walk again I'm sure! I had a stupid bitch telling me I should still try and train my legs! She couldn't understand I'm complete with no spasticity and ended up leaving the conversation quite insulted by the impression I wasn't trying to help myself! Dumb ass!

[A trophy guy]

Well Ratticus, if you had read my post in it's entirety you would have known that I did not treat him like a jerk of any kind. I simply said "no". And I wasn't bothered by this. I found it funny.

Most people don't need to know a single thing about spinal cord injury to understand what it means, instinctively, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, to have a deep, built-in human need to stay connected to one's body; in it's entirety.

wheelie182, on 21 November 2011 - 02:33 PM, said:

I often get the "You will walk again, you just have to believe in yourself". Which I find extremely naive seeing as they usually haven't even asked what my injury is before coming out with that crap.

Another is when they give you the religious crap. Something along the lines of "God has a place for you in his mighty plan, and this is what was supposed to happen".

Ohhh, I get these all the time too! I hear ya!

Edited by A trophy guy, 22 November 2011 - 07:02 AM.

[A trophy guy]

One last thing I discovered regarding amputation: When a person gets limbs/legs amputated, it increases the cardiovascular strain on the heart. Now, considering all the complications and medical roadbumps that are already present with spinal cord injury, it seems like adding another major complication like this is totally unwise (unless it's absolutely needed of course).

[paul1404]

stupid is as stupid does, oh and drives a Mazda!

[Ratticis]

A trophy guy, on 22 November 2011 - 06:56 AM, said:

Well Ratticus, if you had read my post in it's entirety you would have known that I did not treat him like a jerk of any kind. I simply said "no". And I wasn't bothered by this. I found it funny.

Most people don't need to know a single thing about spinal cord injury to understand what it means, instinctively, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, to have a deep, built-in human need to stay connected to one's body; in it's entirety.

In any event, you didn't bother trying to enlighten the ignorant AB. Oh, and BTW, don't assume I didnt' "read your post in it's entirety". You shouldn't assume, because . . . um . . . thgere's a trick here, I used to know it . . . (And one that definitly fits too)

[Irish Wheelz]

We all run into a Forrest Gump!

Now enjoy.