4 replies to this topic

[Califanna]

Well, this year I have been dreading reaching my anniversary. I guess it is because I will be alone without my two children. After my accident all I ever heard was you need to get stronger for your children. You need to be there for your children. So I worked really hard to get healthy so I could be there for them. I raised them to be self-reliant and independent. I am proud of that accomplishment. But now I feel like that goal to be there for some one else is gone.

I am being challenged to now be there for myself. But given that I am a goal oriented individual, my sights have been set on how I got to be here. In a chair, unable to walk and unable to go to the bathroom like by ab counterparts. True, I know the story by heart how I got here because I must tell it over and over again to doctors, friends, family and strangers. But what I am thinking of now is "what really got me here" or rather "who got me here". Any thoughts?

So Happy Anniversary to me...17 years and counting.

[brockit79]

Hi,

I have thought about this subject too; my conclusion is that I got myself here as I made life style choices and conducted my life in such a way that my injury was a risk. It will not be the same for everyone, and some people are definitely more reckless than others, but for me as a person who believes that God is all encompassing and not a man like figure or a separate entity, things that happen to me, fairly or unfairly, are a direct consequence of my own actions. I believe the term for this is atheism. This can be as simple as choosing to cross the road at a given point which may result in injury or death, and like I said can be fair or unfair.

This kind of subject is a contentious one and I may be mown down for expressing my thoughts, but it is just a thought; I am open and receptive to ideas. I try to live my life as honest and virtuous as I can but I realise that I am human and thus pander to ego; I wish I was closer to enlightenment but I have accept that I am not.

(I believe that existence is a continuous series of life cycles: does the fact that I have suffered mean I won't next time round? Not necessarily. We still have to live our lives to the best that we can; I also follow certain Buddhist and Hindu philosophies, which I won't even try to explain, sometimes I struggle to organise my thoughts and beliefs in my own head.

by living the best life that we can new goals and ambitions will naturally arise. Keep going! the race aint won yet ;)I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your lives endeavours!

Broc

Edited by brockit79, 23 November 2011 - 08:33 AM.

[Irish Wheelz]

Well... I just want to congratulate you and give you an AWESOME wi fi high five! What got you there is yourself, you are self driven. Your not only proving to yourself but to others that you can face life with a challenge. Yes you were there for your children, but you can continue to be there and give them support. I still look to my mother for some support. You are a strong individual. Good job of making it this far, and may you continue to do so.

[goose]

Congratulations for raising 2 independent children and getting healthy ! That is a hugh victory!!! I've learned you have to be strong for yourself first before being able to give to others. Giving to others makes my problems seem small and also a good divertor. When you think of someone else, it leaves little time to create problems for yourself.

Please don't waste time focusing on how or why you got there unless it was caused by a problem that still exsists. Try to accept that you are here and work for better things. You can't change what has already happened but you can have a positive attitude and can help others.

For me it caused undue stress thinking about my aniversary date this year. I decided it was best for me not to acknowledge that date any more. I didn't want it to have power over me but that's my conclusion.


I will say you've made good choices in the way you raised your children. I'm sure being a parent in a chair comes with extra struggles. My hats off to you!!!

Hope you do have a great aniversary today!!!

[Aparr]

You have had a lot of great responses. I haven't been posting very much lately but when I read the title I just wanted to post a happy anniversary message.

When I read your post, wow! You are an inspiration to many! Not only for being in a chair for 17 years and not only for being a mother of self-reliant and independent children; However, for being both. It is not easy raising children in this world today. Nonetheless doing it from a chair. I have 3 children and can empathize on being strong for your children. At the same time you have become strong for yourself without realizing it.

The old saying goes "once a mother, always a mother". Your children will always need you. Most importantly you will stay strong because that's who you are as an individual. If you didn't have the inner most drive to get strong it wouldn't have happened. That's how you got where you're at.

Happy Anniversary to you!