66 replies to this topic

[StillFingers]

ATG...one of "YOUR" threads...this is a "PUBLIC" forum...OMG, differing opinions, debate, not agreeing with you all the time...might I say (insert Us for Me)



In three decades plus "can i/we help you"; and endless variations of, have assaulted me; injuring my inflated ego beyond repair, one day i couldn't take it anymore, turned to say "NO THANK YOU" and paused a second, two young bouncing kids n tow, one in the oven, i answered, sure, but you probably need my help more, can i pull your cart to your car for you...she smiled, as did i, i helped her, said thanks, take care...went back to packing my van...most people aren't assholes

A few years back one of those "assholes" did invade my space. He insisted he must help, his good deed for the...we've all met them. He started packing my van, eggs, milk under the back seat...I politely said excuse me I need to pack things in a certain order so I can unpack things when I get home...he turned n said...why you ungrateful prick, turned away in a huff and bolted to his car...his wife n I just smiled, she shook her head, pulled my stuff forward so I could reach it, turned to me and said...he's an asshole sometimes...I said sorry...she said so am I...we nodded, I went back to packing me van.

As for touching my chair/me, I don't usually complain when a member of the bouncy gender jumps on my wheelie bars for a ride, I'm glad to assist...otherwise please refrain or I'll smile and ask you to f*@k off

There are lots of angry people in this world, I do prefer the happy/polite ones...even if they on occasion over step offering to help, well intentions, a smile...even if they're rude I don't need to be, stoop to that level...it's okay by me, it's a karma thang!

Edited by StillFingers, 13 December 2011 - 06:03 PM.

[dreamerr]

In my experience...

1- I love when people open doors for me both before and especially after injury. I would be upset if someone was so rude not to open it.

2- I hate when people touch my chair especially without asking. Here is my story, I went to an event and my chair is front heavy because of my dog, not that this would have mattered with this curb cut. I was struggling to tip because of the weight and was being careful because of the big lip in the cut. A man started charging at me saying "can I help" I immediately said no as her repeated it still charging at me. He was a bit away so it took a bit. After he said it the second time and I responded NO more strongly I ended up having to scream at him. I felt bad but would have felt worse when I was on my head. I did end up having a spasm from the stress, scared the blank out of me, and had panic attack. It is very dangerous for me for someone to push me in most situations. I have fights with my family all the time cause when I do let them I end up in ditches and flying across parking lots. I don't need to go into details but it is what it is.

3- I do like help with the wheelchair but after last week will skip that as well if the person hasn't done it before. I had this lady who I knows me do it. She was so sweet and I reminded her to put the brakes on but she didn't. I left where I was and the chair was flying all over the car. There was no place to pull over for about a mile which was so dangerous.

4- Now the answer...I have decided to make up cards like I did when I first got a service dog to help people understand wheelchair etiquette. This will educate people and help them not feel bad for wanting to help you. When people try to help there intentions are good even the man that scared me. Here is the link to one of many sites that has the etiquette guide. I suggest you look through many sites, type what you need or want that is part of the correct etiquette and print up cards or flyers. http://etiquette-tip...-etiquette.html

I hope this helps.

Edited by dreamerr, 13 December 2011 - 05:08 PM.

[dreamerr]

One more thought...when someone opens the door and they are standing where I would either have to go under there arm or I will hit there toes I nicely tell them "can you please stand over there (pointing) so I don't hurt you".

I always believe being polite first it goes a long way.

[Dean1978]

I know exactly what u feel like when someone forces there help on you. I use to get really mad even though I didn't show it. But I think it was from the depression I was going through. Now I just let them do it cause they just want to be helpful and It really doesn't bother me anymore. But I did hait the word thank you for along time cause I was alway's haveing to say it.

[Salih]

wheelie182, on 04 December 2011 - 04:33 PM, said:

Argh, I hate it when people open doors for me, takes twice as long, but its just one of the things humans do. Like the whole "No, after you, ... no after you!" thing, takes longer but it shows humans affection towards others.

I hate having to say thank you everytime someone does something for me without me asking for help, I appreciate their help though!

[A trophy guy]

Salih, on 05 January 2012 - 03:29 AM, said:

wheelie182, on 04 December 2011 - 04:33 PM, said:

Argh, I hate it when people open doors for me, takes twice as long, but its just one of the things humans do. Like the whole "No, after you, ... no after you!" thing, takes longer but it shows humans affection towards others.

I hate having to say thank you everytime someone does something for me without me asking for help, I appreciate their help though!

I always thank someone for helping me but I will not say "Thank you" to someone who makes my day just that much more difficult when they force their "help" upon me after I've politely declined it. That's just me though.

[Niceparalegs]

(grabbing popcorn, sipping cola)
"jerry! Jerry!!!)