ATG...he wasn't being rude, uninformed as to the differing levels of abilities most chair users have; yes, not knowing how to feel about your independence, embarrassed to ask, yes...so he did his best, you could have been his first...it isn't easy for either "side."
Most people see high level chair users; usually in hospital or being cared for, not many actually see; even know, anyone, that is highly active in a chair. It's gotten much better in the last 30+ yrs, our exposure thru tv, the disabled games, etc., but each of us "cripples" have/are different.
Once in country, in chair, our perspectives, sight, changes. We notice the differences, abilities, with clear, more compassionate hearts...our advantage is we live, breath, feel this every moment. Those not of us, around us; little or not at all, have the luxury of a "normal" body, taken for granted as they walk/run about unimpeded. Until taken away, did any of us see as we do now...how could we...how can they.
I don't doubt your feeling him rude...I did also, long ago...honey attracts best, vinegar often chases away. It is very important to stand our ground and as important to relax, extend a hand, a simple positive explanation, to enlighten...so that your next brother/sister that is chair bound not be misunderstood, talked to in an uninformed "rude" manner; it's our responsibility for those that follow in our tire tracks.
Next time you might reply...thanks for noticing, I do okay for myself
Deal with the assholes as best you can, the rest try and at least be polite...until they're not, when this happens it's like wishing, wasted time/breath.
During the last job I worked at, near 6 yrs, as a development manager/chief system architect, leading design teams, risk management sessions, client meetings, mentoring a dozen developers, well most of my team knew me quite well "at work", only a few had seen my non-work life; or cared to for that matter, it's to much of a bother/chore.
At a staff meeting someone quipped "well everyone puts their pants on the same way", I smiled, chuckled to myself...our president; who knew me quite well smiled back...said, well not all of us...she said sure we do...he replied...not our fearless Jer, he's got people that do that for him...she got this odd look, stood up, came over to me, said damn I forget about your chair, it never occurred to me someone has to help you get ready each day, I feel so stupid...I replied, no worries I can always use a good pair of hands
we were drinkin n playing pool that next friday...all's cool if you want it to be, see this is learned behavior; playin 9-ball n drinkin shots from a chair, one that rolls!
Some people just never get it; care to...they usually follow the piper off the cliff or require a
Seeya round the forum, old fart sayin
Edited by StillFingers, 20 December 2011 - 04:21 AM.