109 replies to this topic

[greybeard]

Is there an echo in here?

[Edinburgh Colin]

This is like trying to debate with a teenager, impossible!
Time to improve the situation using the same method, abstention.

abstention [əbˈstɛnʃən] n
1. a voluntary decision not to act; the act of refraining or abstaining

[from Late Latin abstentiōn-, from Latin abstinēre. See ABSTAIN

[scaldedcat]

Anyone want to borrow my hammer, it's actually way less painful than trying to get through to you know who??

[edlee]

Gotta tell ya, Bear,, ATG HAS been pretty civil in his posts. Tho he does tend to express himself in a way that some may find,, condescending,,, a tendency to which I, personally have taken him to task.

One can not really blame him for his many posts,, when you consider that the majority that wern't his were negatively directed at him. One becomes defensive under such a circumstance. He has responded in a generally polite manner.

So ,, if you want him to stop ,,, maybe you should get others to stop first,,,, unless you,, like my mother-in-law,, believe that the one who gets in the last word, wins.
ed

[mellowgator]

the term roid rage comes to mind here. that would explain a lot.

[wheeliebear75]

 edlee, on 30 December 2011 - 12:22 AM, said:

Gotta tell ya, Bear,, ATG HAS been pretty civil in his posts. Tho he does tend to express himself in a way that some may find,, condescending,,, a tendency to which I, personally have taken him to task.

One can not really blame him for his many posts,, when you consider that the majority that wern't his were negatively directed at him. One becomes defensive under such a circumstance. He has responded in a generally polite manner.

So ,, if you want him to stop ,,, maybe you should get others to stop first,,,, unless you,, like my mother-in-law,, believe that the one who gets in the last word, wins.
ed

You are correct in that we should give ATG some credit for the posts not being a bunch of name calling. And it's also true that perhaps some of this bantering back & forth is in actuality just a lack of communication. And for these points I do humbly give a " " to ATG for not going off on us in the same way as I'm sure he may have once upon a time not so long ago.

However I also believe that had ATG simply said something along the lines of "OK I guess I could have been a bit less brazen with him.....but it still chapped my hide." or that he hadn't thought about that guy's lack of exposure being the cause of his faux-pas vs. just being an idiot or an ass, I think it would have gone a loooooooong way to showing that this was a discussion instead of "You're all wrong & I handled this situation beautifully" (which is the over-all message I got from all this).

[A trophy guy]

 mellowgator, on 30 December 2011 - 12:42 AM, said:

the term roid rage comes to mind here. that would explain a lot.

Wow. I find this HIGHLY inappropriate and offensive.

 wheeliebear75, on 30 December 2011 - 01:03 AM, said:

 edlee, on 30 December 2011 - 12:22 AM, said:

Gotta tell ya, Bear,, ATG HAS been pretty civil in his posts. Tho he does tend to express himself in a way that some may find,, condescending,,, a tendency to which I, personally have taken him to task.

One can not really blame him for his many posts,, when you consider that the majority that wern't his were negatively directed at him. One becomes defensive under such a circumstance. He has responded in a generally polite manner.

So ,, if you want him to stop ,,, maybe you should get others to stop first,,,, unless you,, like my mother-in-law,, believe that the one who gets in the last word, wins.
ed

You are correct in that we should give ATG some credit for the posts not being a bunch of name calling. And it's also true that perhaps some of this bantering back & forth is in actuality just a lack of communication. And for these points I do humbly give a " " to ATG for not going off on us in the same way as I'm sure he may have once upon a time not so long ago.

However I also believe that had ATG simply said something along the lines of "OK I guess I could have been a bit less brazen with him.....but it still chapped my hide." or that he hadn't thought about that guy's lack of exposure being the cause of his faux-pas vs. just being an idiot or an ass, I think it would have gone a loooooooong way to showing that this was a discussion instead of "You're all wrong & I handled this situation beautifully" (which is the over-all message I got from all this).

Like it has been said NUMEROUS times; this was an isolated incident. It was not the standard operating procedure for me in these types of situations. But, I AM HUMAN and it got under my skin that day. And with that being said, all I did was POLITELY inform him that I found it a bit offensive to be spoken to in such a intensely condescending and patronizing manner. "Brazen" has no place in the description of my behavior.

Edited by A trophy guy, 30 December 2011 - 02:41 AM.

[mellowgator]

 mellowgator, on 30 December 2011 - 12:42 AM, said:

the term roid rage comes to mind here. that would explain a lot.

Wow. I find this HIGHLY inappropriate and offensive.

if i've misjudged you i'm sorry. but do you take supliments? it crossed my mind because you seem to have a lot of issues that stem from your gym. you get upset if people offer to open doors for you and you go way off if someone parks in a handicapped spot. yes these occurances are annoying but your reaction to them seems way off. most of your antidotes are gym related and you seem very testy to be called out on your overreactions. i wish you well and hope that in time you can mellow out and have some peace with the world.

[bongorum]

A thread that threatens to extend itself to eternity is what this is. At the risk of perpetuating this exercise in futility, my two cents worth is that one can’t afford to be in a rage against every petty injustice and so uncompromising in one’s views that one deals with the most forgettable and forgivable of slights with the same magnitude of emotional severity as one would a legitimate grievance. Such habits, if allowed to develop, will send one mad. I understand atg's need to give vent to the resentment he bore the gent whose actions he percieved as being an attack on his pride in his physical capability, but inasmuch as all men are prone to foibles, to harp on a single random one, in one point in infinite time, especially one as insignificant as this, seems a squandering of one’s energy. I understand though why this thread has been pursued with the vigour which has thus far prevailed, and why many of its excellent contributors have sought refuge in its banality, it’s because there’s simply nothing interesting on the board at the moment to preserve us from indulging in its mediocrity, which is why I myself have resorted to these observations. Of course I am exhorting no one to abandon the course, pursue it if you must, but remember to not allow yourself to become frustrated if you find that no agreement is to be had.

Edited by bongorum, 30 December 2011 - 06:59 PM.

[Apparelyzed]

98 replies?

Really folks, it's like a game of ping pong in here, and the audience is getting tired.

Simon

p.s, that applies to everyone!

[edlee]

As always Bong,, a beautifully stated premise,, and one that I heartily agree with. If anything can stop this run away train,, looking for a wreck,,, other than Simon's wrath, that is,, it would be another thread with a controversial twist,,, or,, possibly,, a new protagonist upon which we can all unleash our pent up emotions.

And Simon,,, this wouldn't be #101 if we had anything better to do.
ed

[Edinburgh Colin]

 Apparelyzed, on 30 December 2011 - 07:48 PM, said:

98 replies?

Really folks, it's like a game of ping pong in here, and the audience is getting tired.

Simon

p.s, that applies to everyone!

Looks like my post at 74 was spot on then Boss.
EC

[greybeard]

 Edinburgh Colin, on 30 December 2011 - 10:33 PM, said:

Looks like my post at 74 was spot on then Boss.
EC

Creep!!

[Edinburgh Colin]

 greybeard, on 30 December 2011 - 11:46 PM, said:

 Edinburgh Colin, on 30 December 2011 - 10:33 PM, said:

Looks like my post at 74 was spot on then Boss.
EC

Creep!!

Granted.

[lavenderthistle]

 Priority Seatin, on 18 December 2011 - 11:47 PM, said:

I'm working on a blog entry for one of my blogs about something that seems to happen a lot to me (and some others I know) but doesn't seem to be talked about too often.

Okay. Let's see if I can explain this well...

Have you ever had a time when someone didn't know how to treat someone with a disability, and when they commit a major faux-pas and you call them on it, they get REALLY offended and defensive and refuse to hear your explanation about why it was a faux-pas (even when you insist that you're aware that it was unintentional)?

or...

Have you ever had a time when you were consulted about wheelchair accessibility for a place (such as a company) and when you point out some problem spots, they dismiss your recommendations, saying "Nah, it's fine," making you wonder why you were even there?

or...

Have you ever had a time when someone who would normally be willing to learn about disability issues would SHUT YOU OUT when they make a mistake and you try to explain it to them?

What do you think provokes these types of reactions?

I had cited ignorance earlier....but after some time with my Mom and a toxic friend. I think the deeper reasons are multifocal.

Businesses may not want to see a problem which might mean a change because those might cost money, seating, time down....etc. those really close airlock doors with a tight bend are hard for me with cane or chair, but when they immediately open onto a table a clumsy person (me) crashes into, it's unsafe and embarrassing. The business won't change because doors cost money...moving the table would cost seating and not enough disabled/differently able people patronize the place.

A reason aside from ignorance is embarrassment. I find it hard to be faced with my mistakes because it means I've done something to hurt someone however inadvertently.

Yet another reason is...changing perception of a friend or family member. My Mom and Sister prefer to live in a state of ignorance. My husband treats me like a specimen for study. He tends to fawn overmuch when I make it up and down the stairs a few times in a day.

My toxic friend is very narcissistic and tends to forget that she isn't the center of the universe...to her credit she only remembers to act like I exist when she needs to whine about her torn acl...(been there done that have the scars) She asks for exercise advice....then asks me if I still have the Elvis shakes....rude? Yes...beyond faux pas? Yes. But what I expect.

What I didn't expect was.....

A year before my injury I was bowling with my husband and son. A boy he attended an art camp with a few years earlier was next to us. This boy was doing a great job. He praised every lousy roll I had. He high fived me when I knocked anything down. When I got a spare I got a high 10, a "great job!" And a hug.....the boy had profound down syndrome. I didn't feel belittled. I felt lighter because I truly made him feel good.

Pretty much anything that openly shames someone with malicious intent is a social faux pas....yet the same words spoken out of love and joy are inherently uplifting and always correct.


(Hope this got a great thread back on track, PS)

on phone plz ignore errors and strange word replacements if they are there

[greybeard]

 Priority Seatin, on 18 December 2011 - 11:51 PM, said:

 greybeard, on 18 December 2011 - 11:49 PM, said:

Ignorance.

That's the thing though. Some of the people who have this reaction are not ignorant people. They are genuinely intelligent people who would normally be willing to listen but when they make a mistake, they are suddenly offended and defensive.

I find it quite bizarre and am struggling to find a decent explanation for it.

Sorry it's taken so long to reply. Distractions.
I didn't mean ignorance in the pejorative sense, but ignorant of the way they think they ought to behave. With hindsight, I should also have added embarrassment.

[Charlie-boi]

 mellowgator, on 30 December 2011 - 04:12 AM, said:

 mellowgator, on 30 December 2011 - 12:42 AM, said:

the term roid rage comes to mind here. that would explain a lot.

Wow. I find this HIGHLY inappropriate and offensive.

if i've misjudged you i'm sorry. but do you take supliments? it crossed my mind because you seem to have a lot of issues that stem from your gym. you get upset if people offer to open doors for you and you go way off if someone parks in a handicapped spot. yes these occurances are annoying but your reaction to them seems way off. most of your antidotes are gym related and you seem very testy to be called out on your overreactions. i wish you well and hope that in time you can mellow out and have some peace with the world.

What actually seems abit much is calling him a steroid abuser.... and suppliments are baisically condensed food.... bellow the belt comments realy

[D. Smith]

For the record, suppliments can be more than just food as there is no oversight or testing required by the FDA. They can be helpful, harmful, or none of the above. Now back on topic.

[A trophy guy]

 D. Smith, on 02 January 2012 - 07:17 PM, said:

For the record, suppliments can be more than just food as there is no oversight or testing required by the FDA. They can be helpful, harmful, or none of the above. Now back on topic.

Do you have any cites or examples to back this up? And by "this" I mean the claim that supplements are sometimes more than condensed ingredients found in foods. Sure, they can still be harmful, or helpful or neither, but they are just foodstuffs. Those that aren't, like ephedrine and pro-hormones, are quickly taken off the market by the FDA.

Edited by A trophy guy, 02 January 2012 - 08:31 PM.

[D. Smith]

Upon thinking about it, I realized that you can get things from supplements through food. I had a brainfart. I remembered an instance from the documentary "Bigger, Faster, Stronger" that showed him making his own supplement that consisted of nothing more than sugar and something else that equaled nothing of actual value for body building. He then stated that they could include harmful products and yada yada... Sorry, original topic.