44 replies to this topic

[lavenderthistle]

I am asking for opinions on this matter.

I have recently been lambasted because I make the choice to identify my level and state the fact I am a walker. I do this to identify myself on my profile this helps other walkers may easily find me. In chat I prefer this disclosure because to not state it, in my mind would be a lie of omission.

I was never aware any of you had a problem with identification, I would like to see how others feel about this issue.

Just to be clear...this will in no way affect my choice to identify, but i'd like a general idea of how the rest of you feel

Edited by lavenderthistle, 19 December 2011 - 03:20 PM.

[greybeard]

Eh? How can anybody criticise you for stating what your are? Was this something that happened in CHAT?

[Tatiana]

Firstly, I personally dont think anyone has the right to critisize another for choosing how they identify themselves on their profile.

I for one, certainly dont have issue and to be honest neither have i given it thought before now.
But on the other hand neither do i think not stating it is a lie of omission.

Its what we call fee will and freedom of choice...when i read your post Lav, this came to mind.......

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

(i am sure the said person is perfect )

Edited by ffion, 19 December 2011 - 04:34 PM.

[lavenderthistle]

greybeard, on 19 December 2011 - 04:17 PM, said:

Eh? How can anybody criticise you for stating what your are? Was this something that happened in CHAT?

From 19 December 2011 - 04:32 PM:

Firstly, I personally dont think anyone has the right to critisize another for choosing how they identify themselves on their profile.

I for one, certainly dont have issue and to be honest neither have i given it thought before now.
But on the other hand neither do i think not stating it is a lie of omission.

Its what we call fee will and freedom of choice...when i read your post Lav, this came to mind.......

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

(i am sure the said person is perfect )

Ok now vote my two lovlies! I really would like to know what people think about how we're identified. I was miffed, but decided to toss this out just to see if I'm the only one who feels I should be honest.

[tsh3406]

I'm not going to vote but only because I think it is too specific and this is a topic I generalize on. I don't consider it a lie by any stretch, although a great number of folks would. Nor do I think being a "walker" has anything to do with it. Knowing up front what someones limits or abilities are is always good, but being incomplete myself, with significant recover, I just always assume the best until a person tells me otherwise. I also assume that all women want me and any river or body of water in heaven is actually Belgian style wheat beer....

Tim

[greybeard]

Gotta say it's not something I have an opinion about, as I can't see myself ever asking the question, which is why I didn't vote on this item. However I think that how much personal information you give or withhold is an entirely private matter. I was not able to just cast a NO vote without answering the other.

[Tatiana]

Same here really, i found it hard to vote because i feel its the individual's personal choice and not one i can decide.

[randomryan007]

From 19 December 2011 - 05:33 PM:

Same here really, i found it hard to vote because i feel its the individual's personal choice and not one i can decide.

I agree with this statement as everyone has the right to give out and not give out info. its personal choice. I am a very open person. and honest. I am who I am. walk/wheel who cares as long as your happy with the out come ect.

I will not vote either.

we are who we are and we are all individuals. everyone is not the same. every SCI or non SCI is not the same.

don't let people bring you down.

also I woud like to add that like my mom once said "never play devils avocate" it will only bring you down.

[StillFingers]

Hi Lav ,

This baffles me, not your wanting people to know you are one of the walking wounded, but that someone would be angry/upset at your walking...wtf is this "person" or these "persons" thinking, this type of discrimination/ignorance is simply sad...and ugly!

Why not just have separate websites for each sci level, for completes/incompletes, oh wait; those that use anti-tip bars, pretty pink spokes, frogs legs, pneumatic tires...how about hair/skin/eye colour, length of fingernails, size of their

I'm not going to vote either, unless you add a check box for

I don't give a flying f*@k what your SCI level is, or how severe or not, you're still a brother/sister; family!


A friend, rehab buddy Duncan, c5 like me, walked out of hospital...what a joyous moment! My carer has a plate at c4-6, a disc issue, she shouldn't be walking but is, "all" that remains of her SCI is partial numbness in her arms n fingers...lots of nero pain!

Those people that lambasted you for being honest, need to get a life; pull their heads/hearts out their assholes!

PS. I tried to be PC, really I did

Edited by StillFingers, 19 December 2011 - 06:06 PM.

[qbounce]

I agree, it should be based on whatever you WISH to divulge, not be FORCED to. But on the same vain, why don't people put complete or incomplete as well?

I think I'm going to put 'crawler' on mine, now that you mentioned it. I'd feel remiss if I didn't state my abilities too.

[StillFingers]

qbounce, on 19 December 2011 - 06:05 PM, said:

I agree, it should be based on whatever you WISH to divulge, not be FORCED to. But on the same vain, why don't people put complete or incomplete as well?

I think I'm going to put 'crawler' on mine, now that you mentioned it. I'd feel remiss if I didn't state my abilities too.

You can crawl Q...you bitch...I'm not sure I can even squiggle or squirm about much, once on my back I'm not even SLUGish...perhaps BLOBish...wait, a turtle; on it's back

[dreamerr]

Walking is a word that in our minds we think of a "normal" person walking. I believe it is not necessary to qualify your injury. If I am asked I don't walk I waddle and very little. I suppose if you want to say I walk it would be more like a two year old trying to find balance and proper movement.

Yes, people I take the responsibility of Lav writing this thread. We had a discussion and in no way did I want her to feel blasted. I thought we were having a discussion. It just always grated on my nerves and was trying to find out where her head was at. I now understand why she does what she does and of course it is her choice. I am also entitled to feel the way I feel. I never had an issue with her saying that she walked it is just the fact when someone asks my injury I just say either para or ces if they ask more I then choose whether to tell that person more. I just don't like qualifying statements in a lot of situations and this is one of many. This is the way my brain works and has no reflection on Lav. I just really wanted to see it from her side.

Again I am sorry Lav if you felt blasted. I in no way wanted to hurt you since I do like you and respect you. I do hope you understand my thought process as well. I always take responsibility for what I do. As you can see I fessed up and thank you for not blowing me up since that would have not been nice.

You can all get on me now for this.

Edited by dreamerr, 19 December 2011 - 07:08 PM.

[D. Smith]

I voted the way I would want to know information about a person. I'm just a curious person. However, as stated, it comes down to how much a person wants to divulge. That is indeed a very personal choice.

Edited by D. Smith, 19 December 2011 - 07:28 PM.

[tsh3406]

Since we're qualifying and labeling our injuries..... what in the blue hell is Cauda Equina????????? lol....

[Tatiana]

For you tsh3406

http://www.apparelyz...a-syndrome.html

[tsh3406]

I feel left out, I don't have a cool name or letters to go after my injury, except for maybe "dumbass", lol.... and, I can't walk, can't crawl and can only fly for like the first 45 seconds after I leave the airplane.... not fair at all.... lol

Tim

[Tatiana]

Ha Ha life is hard :-/

[lavenderthistle]

I seriously love some of these comments.

And I wasn't naming names at all...the who is unimportant. I just wanted to know what people would ideally like to know.

I love all my walking, wheeling, beer river swilling, wobbling, crawling, stationary...etc brethren and sistren (new word alert)

[qbounce]

StillFingers, on 19 December 2011 - 06:17 PM, said:

qbounce, on 19 December 2011 - 06:05 PM, said:

I agree, it should be based on whatever you WISH to divulge, not be FORCED to. But on the same vain, why don't people put complete or incomplete as well?

I think I'm going to put 'crawler' on mine, now that you mentioned it. I'd feel remiss if I didn't state my abilities too.

You can crawl Q...you bitch...I'm not sure I can even squiggle or squirm about much, once on my back I'm not even SLUGish...perhaps BLOBish...wait, a turtle; on it's back

Okay, I changed it yet AGAIN to crawler-ish. That's a more accurate description anyway.

[ClaraTaylor]

lavenderthistle, on 19 December 2011 - 10:07 PM, said:

I seriously love some of these comments.

And I wasn't naming names at all...the who is unimportant. I just wanted to know what people would ideally like to know.

I love all my walking, wheeling, beer river swilling, wobbling, crawling, stationary...etc brethren and sistren (new word alert)

And we all love you too.

When I first came here I liked seeing who could walk and such like because I was learning stuff. I probably bored Scribs senseless with my constant questions! But mainly because I knew some weren't really appropriate to ask him - after all how's he going to know if it's possible to walk in high heels? I learnt very quickly for those questions to speak to GB and he was an absolute sweetheart about it.

So I voted for yes to see what people can and can't do. Because I'm curious - it doesn't make you any more or less important just because you can walk even a tiny bit, and more importantly because (my brain is damaged and my memory is missing meaning that even though I consider many of you good friends - I can't remember who can wiggle what... Except for Trin and that ping pong ball, some times video clips just can't be unseen) at four in the morning when I am balling my eyes out because I've managed to get yet another pressure sore on the ball of my foot and the doctors want me to keep all weight off it meaning in a very melodramatic way I've yet again lost the ability to walk and everything is uncertain I want to be able to send someone a message who isn't going to be a kind and caring person just because that's who they are, but because, just perhaps, they've been there too.
Because nothing works better than a slap around the face from someone who understands.

[dreamerr]

I still had to take responsibility for hurting your feelings. It is just who I am. I do like that you made this thread cause I get to see how many think which is wonderful. I love to learn and more important to me is to see how others think. I have a very analytical brain and analyze everything which can be annoying to most people. It is who I am.

[lavenderthistle]

my mind and my reason for asking...when i see C6, inc i still assume that person is a chair user. So I specify, it saves any misconception at a later date when people meet me.

I was initially stung honestly, but waited a few days to construct this poll...because It started me thinking. I'm not trying to determine the validity of my injury over another. I am quite certain of my sci, regardless of the whole ability thing. I was just curious what info people would or wouldn't like. I still won't change how I announce myself, but it helps to know where the majority of people lie on a subject.

[Irish Wheelz]

Honestly, people may have diff sci. To me what counts though is what kind of character you are. Hearing people sci or what level they are is interesting. They shouldn't criticise you for being diff from what they are.. We all may be sci but were all diff. Kinda like Coca Cola and Pepsi, their both soda's (pop, soda pop, coke, etc) but difference labels, difference taste. It all counts on the inside, not what sci level you are.

[StillFingers]

lavenderthistle, on 19 December 2011 - 10:43 PM, said:

my mind and my reason for asking...when i see C6, inc i still assume that person is a chair user. So I specify, it saves any misconception at a later date when people meet me.

I was initially stung honestly, but waited a few days to construct this poll...because It started me thinking. I'm not trying to determine the validity of my injury over another. I am quite certain of my sci, regardless of the whole ability thing. I was just curious what info people would or wouldn't like. I still won't change how I announce myself, but it helps to know where the majority of people lie on a subject.

Hi Lav, your having walker/walking in your level info...gives joy, I love it when I hear you/anyone are not chair bound! But I don't need to know anything except, sci, that's where all our common ground is...

BTW Q, I like "crawlerish" very cool bro! I'm going to add "malcontent" to mine; should it be in CAPS

Edited by StillFingers, 20 December 2011 - 12:45 AM.

[Beautiful]

Sorry if this offends anyone. Well, not really sorry, more like it isn't my intention to wheel on anyone's toes...

If I have a specific issue and feel like I could benefit from posting it on the forum, I'm usually more interested in what completes have to say rather than incompletes. Don't get me wrong... I'm VERY thankful for any information offered and I'm very happy that people actually take time out of their day to respond to lil ol' me. I do the same, whether incomplete or complete, walker or wheelchair, crawlier or crutch user, lol. If I think I can offer any advice, I will. But there are issues that completes have that some incompletes don't have, and vice versa (same with walkers & crawlers). I do understand every injury is different, and just because someone has different function doesn't mean we don't have similar problems. I could have more in common with someone who has a SCI and can walk with some assistance than someone who is actually injured at my level, ya know?

It's kind of like when I am searching for information about using an FES machine. If the article is talking about someone who has a SCI but has some function, I usually skim over it. I need information about completes, not about Billy Bob being able to flex his ankles and stand on his own, but needs help taking steps, and he uses FES. On the other hand, there are times when the problem is more general, like back pain or bladder infections, and the advice can help a variety of people with completely different injuries. Nevertheless, I am happy that there is so much information out there for anyone to read and be able to possibly tailor it to fit their needs.

Lavender, I understand where you're coming from, and I think it's nice that you put you can walk. Is it necessary? No. But it's helpful to those who are trying to find more exact information to help them out, and by you putting that on your profile, it can save time and energy. I don't think it's a lie if you don't put it on there, but putting it on there does make it easier.

[Zack]

I didn't vote. I only want what info they give Freely.

[wheeliebear75]

StillFingers, on 19 December 2011 - 06:17 PM, said:

qbounce, on 19 December 2011 - 06:05 PM, said:

I agree, it should be based on whatever you WISH to divulge, not be FORCED to. But on the same vain, why don't people put complete or incomplete as well?

I think I'm going to put 'crawler' on mine, now that you mentioned it. I'd feel remiss if I didn't state my abilities too.

You can crawl Q...you bitch...I'm not sure I can even squiggle or squirm about much, once on my back I'm not even SLUGish...perhaps BLOBish...wait, a turtle; on it's back

qbounce, on 19 December 2011 - 10:20 PM, said:

StillFingers, on 19 December 2011 - 06:17 PM, said:

qbounce, on 19 December 2011 - 06:05 PM, said:

I agree, it should be based on whatever you WISH to divulge, not be FORCED to. But on the same vain, why don't people put complete or incomplete as well?

I think I'm going to put 'crawler' on mine, now that you mentioned it. I'd feel remiss if I didn't state my abilities too.

You can crawl Q...you bitch...I'm not sure I can even squiggle or squirm about much, once on my back I'm not even SLUGish...perhaps BLOBish...wait, a turtle; on it's back

Okay, I changed it yet AGAIN to crawler-ish. That's a more accurate description anyway.

[wheeliebear75]

Well as everyone can see by looking at the side info; I've listed that I'm an L2 incomplete, but not really what my abilities are this is mostly because it is not a "cut & dry" wheeler or wobbler because I'm mostly a wheeler but can hobble around a bit.


I do not discount what completes have to say or their ideas & I don't look at someone's profile & move on to the next post/article simply because their level is lower than mine or they have more function than I do. Perhaps it is because I myself have had people who were injured higher up or had less function than I do make me feel even more isolated & alone than the injuries themselves already do. But thankfully I have met enough people with SCI of all levels & abilities who did not push me away because of our differences but accepted me based on our commonalities which is the SCI itself. To those of you who DO accept based on this basis.....THANK YOU! You make a lonely world just a little less lonely.

[isobar]

I feel a person should describe themselves as they see fit and how much they disclose is a matter of preference. I see no wrong in your method.

[lonebobseytwin]

I am also a walker.
until last week, I had never met another one.
as I hadn't ever seen any, or well with myself I guess it's hard to tell there's really anything wrong at all, besides the fact I walk stiffly like frankenstein and look sorta uncomfortable. I'm not even sure I could spot another one (unless it's winter and they are also overdressed like they are going skiing also)

But I'd be glad to know there are others out there, makes me feel like less of a freak. And also letting me know that everyone's injury is different, resulting in a variety is limitations and symptoms, and well the general progression of time and healing or miracles/ damn luck (which ever goes first). I was just damn lucky.

But seriously I'd like to see who else is out there. so can say hello, and ask questions.