15 replies to this topic

[Miss Donna]

I was in an auto accident on 4/24/2011. I am a T7, not sure if it is complete or not. Today is Christmas and I am still in the hospital. I'm in a LTAC now and am told I will still need to go to rehab before I go home. I can move my left foot some and I feel pain. I am fighting depression because I have been away from home so long. My husband spends weekends with me; he can only come once a week due to his job and the distance from home. I have a 16 year old son that I rarely get to see, but we talk daily. I feel like I'm the only one this has happened to...I hope that doesn't sound selfish. I would welcome any advice to help me get through this. I feel like I've lost so much and I just want to have my independance back and live a normanl life.

[Tatiana]

Hello and welcome to the forum :-)

You are at a difficult place emotionally at the moment. Being in hospital is very lonely especially as you away from your home and family which is your security.

You will get throught it but you have to find an inner strength and fight the depressive feelings.
I was very down in hospital and found i was losing interest in everything, food, the outside world and even visitors.

I was in hospital in march earlier this year and the weather was especially sunny and warm for that time of year. I got to the point that i didnt even want to see how lovely it was outside and spent the time in my room with the curtains closed.

But..it isnt healthy so you do need to find a positive mental attitude because without it you wont cope and progress.


Of course you are allowed to be selfish and feel this, for now but not for much longer

Keep coming on the forum as i did and you will find comfort and see that there are many people going through similar struggles and some worse.

I feel i am lucky for the function that i have, by comaprison to many.

Keep your chin up and merry xmas!

x

[Bethann]

Hi and welcome,

I was also in the hospital during the holidays but 5 years ago that left me in a chair. I was depressed and felt
like I was alone in this world. It does get better. I'd keep coming on this forum to help see that others
have gone thru what you have and/or are going thru it.

During my stay in the hospital they had a weekly group meeting that I went to that helped me alot. And I went for a year straight after getting out of the hospital and I still go once in a while. I have to travel quit far to get there and back but it's worth it. Other's that were in the hospital would go and people that live in the area that could make it go. If you have something like that, I would think about going or finding if there is something like that in your area. It is a SCI group meeting.

Try to be positive when your husband and son visit. I know it can be difficult but I remember the psychiatrist
telling me if I'm such a downer (which I must of been at the time) it'll be hard for others to be or want to
be around me.

Keep up with the therapy and I hope it get's better for you real soon!

Merry Christmas!

[kathy.k]

Miss Donna,

first off Merry Christmas. I know being in the hospital is tough but do hang in there, go to therapy like they suggest and remember you have a lifetime of Christmas' to spend with your family. I am sure that the family would rather have you here in the hospital seeing you when they can than not. Therapy will help and you will be thankful later that you went. Enjoy the day, and count it down as one more day gone and one day closer to going home.

Kathy

[rue2you]

Dear Miss Donna,

Hang in there!! You will gain independence back and a new normal. It is easy for me to say, but we can all say it after some time. You are still a fresh injury and thank God that you are still alive!! That alone gives you an edge on so many others this Christmas! I remember someone saying to me (when everything seems out of control) that the one thing we are still 100% in control of is our attitude. That really hit home with me and I decided that since that seemed to be the only thing I was in charge of at that time, then I would be the best keeper of that attitude there ever was! Just remember, a lot of what you can gain (I mean in independence and your new normal) is what you put into it. So, take this time to get your head where it should be and start setting some goals. Doable ones - not just walking again. Like, transferring independently, rolling over, sitting up, toileting, showering, etc. These things really help your confidence as you learn one little thing at a time.

Remember, that 16 yr. old did not walk and talk the day he was born. It was all a process and it will be for you. A sort of new birth kind of thing. But, you can do it and we are here for you so use us!!!

[AlaskaOne]

Merry Christmas to you Miss Donna,

I was in hospital over Xmas last year, also a long way from home, that caused much disruption in my family's lives. When I reflect on my life now I see that even though I have bad days, or even a series of bad days, life is definitely worth living and it definitely gets easier. When I get down I remind myself how hard my family worked to make my life possible and I couldn't belittle their efforts or hurt them in any way. "This too, shall pass."

[Chococat]

Hi Miss Donna,

Merry christmas, i hope your family were able to visit you. don't feel bad for being selfish as it is really hard feeling alone. i can appreciate your loneliness. this summer i was in hospital with a bad uti. i felt so grotty i wouldn't let my friends come to visit me...in hindsight that wasn't such a great idea! Try and keep your spirits up, its true that a positive mental attitude will help you through these difficult times and keep the depressive thoughts at bay. You need the strength to continue with the therapy. Really wish you well and hope to hear of your progress soon.

Take care C

[Miss Donna]

Thanks for the great advice. I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. My day was wonderful; I shared it with my husband, my son, my mom, and my dad and 2d mom. This is the first year I can remember that my mom didn't cook a big meal...she said it just wouldn't have felt right without me there. I do have so much to be thankful for. I now have my attitude in the right place.

I am looking forward to being able to sit up again and eager to learn how to transfer.

I do have a question...Do paraplegics ever get rid of the catheter and gain total toileting independence? This is something I'm very curious about.
I probably should share the reason I'm not farther along in recovery is thar I had a stage 4 bed sore. I saw a picture and I was able to see my tail bone and count 4 or 5 vertabrae. A man could have put his fist in the hole. I am much better now and looking forward to rehab!!

Again thank you all and I look forward to being a part of the website.

Donna

[Stand]

Hello there! Very sorry to hear about your bed sore. I wish you a speedy recovery! Regarding getting cathed, I was told that's the last thing to come back, if it even comes back, even after if you were able to walk again. Again that's just what I was told. Hopefully it's not true for your sake and the rest of us!

Best of luck!

[Tetracyclone]

Donna,

You have a great family. i was in the hospital overseas so a bit remote..

Stupid system in USA rarely wants to pay for rehab. of course you need it, but you will figure it all out on your own anyway. This site will help. and there are lots of instructive videos on Youtube. be of good cheer and welcome aboard.

[Soryfam]

Hi and welcome. So glad Christmas turned out to be a good day. I also spent Christmas (4 years ago) in the hospital and it was a low spot for me, for sure. I have been able to regain my bladder and bowel movements to a degree. I wear depends as there are times that I simple go without knowing that I am, and I can not stop it once it starts. No amount of Kegels exercises has helped. I do take Oxybutinin, which helps for the most part. It came back over time, so don't lose hope. Good luck to you.

Sandy

[Magicisnotreal]

right now your world has been turned upside down, you're paralyzed, but yet most likely still mentally living in an able bodied world. that's a good thing, you have movement, work as hard as you can because if you can feel pain and still have movement, 99.9% sure you are an incomplete. even though you are lonely, sad, confused, and most likely mad at the situation try and focus on what you can do, to improve it and gain even more. This is a crucial time to regain as much as you possibly can.


my prayers are with you, don't give up, and don't give in… :-)

[rue2you]

Bladder and bowels are tricky and different for each of us. I cannot feel when I need to urinate but I get goosebumps all over my arms (even when it is really hot). I did not know what that meant in the beginning (but have learned how to "read" my body and you will too). I have a place that I massage that gets my urnine to flow. It takes a lot longer than it used too, (and that is also something that will frustrate you at first about everything is how long everything takes now)but I am able to empty enough out that I do not have to cath.

[Dean1978]

Sorry to hear about your accident. Your not being selfish your just going through depression. It's good to talk about it and get it out of you. You also need to focus on the positive things. That you are alive and can still have a life. IT just takes time to learn the things you are going to have to learn to better your situation. I"m a C-6 and was hurt back in 95, I was only 16 when I had my wreck and I let depression and not thinking I could do anything control me for the next 16 yrs. Now I'm going to college and turning my life around. Doing things I thought I could never do. So don't give up and keep your head high. The one saying I like the best is " Get busy living or get busy dieing". You have to choose which course you are going to take.

[Aparr]

[Niceparalegs]

I can relate Donna. My accident wad dec and I spent xmas in rehab:( out now and things are well. How r u?