13 replies to this topic

[wheeliebear75]

(forgive me if this isn't quite as eloquent as others might be able to write....but I hope it still gets the basic points across)

They say "You never stop learning" & I think this holds true for anyone who ALLOWS or accepts "learning". Growing can sometimes HURT & especially if it is done in any significant chunks.

When we're children & we hit growth spurts where we suddenly gained several inches & the pants that fit just fine only a few weeks ago are all of a sudden looking more like nickers(exposing our ankles) & the sleeves of jackets no longer cover the whole length of our arms exposing our wrists....often with such SUDDEN spurts of growth.....it can literally HURT.

Now growth as far as our view of the world changes; as we get older & as we see more of the world, interact with OTHER people & have different experiences....we do GROW just not in the physical sense. THIS type of growth if done in large amounts can also "hurt". It "hurts" to find out that there is more ways to see any given situation that just yours. It "hurts" because we feel protected & "safe" by our own feelings of self-assurance in our own opinions as being factual rather than OUR OPINION.

At some point within this learning process some of us come to the realization that we do NOT know everything. When we're young children we think our parents know everything & can do anything, when we're adolescents in elementary school (primary school for you Europeans) we think we know quite a bit. By the time we're teenagers we get this grandiose idea that not only do we know EVERYTHING but adults don't know . For some of us this teenage view of the world & Life sticks around well into their 20's or even later for a few poor souls. The rest of us grow up & start incorporating the ideas of others because we start learning that we do NOT have the ONLY answer & our parents might know a few things. At 1st when we transition from that teen-tunnel vision it is usually because we either do something charging ahead without looking at the bigger picture & ALL the aspects of something which then bites us where we were unable to see, it isn't until we LEARN to stop & think and hey maybe listening to the advice of someone who HAS experience in this is a good idea even if in the end you still disagree.

It is never "easy" to admit that perhaps there is a better way of building this same mouse trap that is giving you trouble & snapping your own fingers.....but it IS part of the learning & growing process that although sometimes painful, we do as we mature. When we can admit that other people's experiences count for something, we may initially feel this somehow means that to admit that they may be on to something means we are somehow "less", but this is the teenage adolescent way of thinking, when we can admit that they may have something, we are not "less" we become MORE.

That teen-tunnel vision is from lack of experience & it isn't until we have had a few that that changes, it isn't until we've lived a while that we can see that we still have room to learn & grow & that change is often a GOOD thing.

Do you remember being a kid of around 10 or so? And at that age 20's seemed "old" & if you were old enough to have any stray grays you weren't just "old" you were "OLD"? By the time you were in your teens you couldn't wait to be in your 20's so you could "drink & do what I want", and 30 was no longer "OLD" but it was still "old". I don't know about anyone else but now I AM in my mid 30's & quite frankly even 40's doesn't seem "old" anymore because it's just right around the corner.

At my eldest daughter's wedding my youngest daughter & a child-hood friend of theirs were reminiscing/commiserating with each-other;when they were in junior high (2ndary 4 U Euros) would take their allowance $,walk to the grocery store for 2 cans of $.25 sodas each, then take them another block to the fast food hamburger place & buy a $.99 burger, then take them & go to the nearby park & eat them then play.....but they'd ALSO gossip "Oh my God that has to suck working at Jack-In-The-Box & Albertson's! I am NEVER going to have sucky jobs like flipping burgers & bagging groceries." with eachother, NOW they're just starting out & because they had no prior work experience they had to settle for (Drum roll please!)....FLIPPING BURGERS @ JACK-IN-THE-BOX & BAGGING GROCERIES @ ALBERTSON'S! Moral of that story being they didn't see those people as being themselves with bills to pay in 5-10yrs they figured they knew it all & with that diploma they'd just sail on into the work-force with a great salary & own a car & have a nice apartment within 6mo or so of graduating. They're starting to realize that there IS a bigger picture & that not only do older adults know a few more things about Life than they do....we ARE them & they WERE us.

When I was 1st injured I liken that to my (sorry if "gimp" offends anyone") Gimp-teendum in that I had tunnel vision. I had only the gimp-eyes of a NEWLY injured person who could only see things from MY view point.

Once when I was out to eat not too long after I got hurt a waitress started tying a plastic bib that their restaurant had for the young children around my 11mo old baby's neck & mind you I was already obviously preggers with #2. I flipped out on her ONLY seeing that their bib was made of cheap plastic & my daughter was still teething & therefor CHEWING EVERYTHING & presented a choking hazard. To this day I am STILL glad they stopped using those cheap trash-bag material bibs. At the time however...I saw her "help" as being condescending & a way of saying I was incapable of taking care of my child (BECAUSE OF my disability). I now in retrospect no-longer think she was indicating that I was "incapable", she would most likely have done that for any young child who's mother was obviously uncomfortably pregnant (I was 5mo pregnant at the time & yup you couldn't miss the bulge).

I used to have to swallow back tears as I watched my daughters being swung around & given piggy back rides. It hurt because I HAD done this kinda stuff with my younger sister because I'm 8&1/2 yrs older than her. So all I was able to see with my girls (they were born shortly after I was hurt) was how unfair it was to both me AND them, that mommy couldn't swing them around or teach them to ride bikes. I failed to see the beauty in the joy on their faces. THEY were not upset that mommy didn't swing them around...THEY were just happy that there were getting swung around & that I was there to "look mommy look mommy!". MY "allergies" (tears) didn't let me focus on what I had but only what I didn't. When my son came along a few years later....I was no more able to give him piggybacks around the yard or teach him to ride a bike either....I was however able to sit back & enjoy HIS fun....but I got to sit back with a cool drink while my brother-in-law & rest of the family got to take turns working like a horse & sweating like a pig to make him "WEEEEE! Do it again do it again!".

I see NOW that there was an "angry gimp" side of me at the earlier stages. I've since learned to to see things differently. I rarely get upset now when I hear people say "Well at least you still have your mind intact." not knowing that I've got a brain injury. It USED TO BE that I'd just "hide" the TBI symptoms & pass them off as "Oh I'm just tired." "Oh it's the meds I take....sorry." instead of just admitting that in SPEECH I tend to mess up what I'm trying to say a LOT more. And that the "spacing out/zoning out" is in actuality a MINOR seizure that I do not medicate for because to ME the side-effects of the "cure" are worse than the disease....I'm never going to drive anyway so it truly is MY DECISION. After a # of years I started realizing that by not confronting the stereotypes of TBI that the problem would never change. At 1st I may have gone about this in a less than congenial manner. I have in my "old age" learned that the old adage that one can attract a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar set in. This set in I must admit in part to the (in MY opinion) NASTY way I saw a fellow gimp behaving. The "OMG I hope I don't ever act that way to someone!" set in. We'll just call him "NN" since this is actually a REAL LIFE fellow S.D. w/c user (now deceased); NN had a reputation for yelling at trolley operators, & it often seemed as though he went out of his way to find a place that hadn't been made to ADA codes (I'm talking when ADA was FIRST introduced & businesses were still figuring out what this meant for THEM) in even out of the way areas in places like Ramona & Julian (these are the rural communities of San Diego & many of their buildings especially in Julian were kept "turn of the century" as a "rustic tourist attraction"...the circa 1880-1930's buildings are part of the ambiance.). Going OUT OF YOUR WAY to FIND "a bone to pick" didn't make the business owners there very happy because of HOW he went about it. Sometimes yes a business DOES "NEED TO BE sued" because they flippantly disregard ADA even though they have the means to fix it, & we need GOOD PR to keep the approval from mainstream public OF ADA to do this....going out of his way to FIND someone did NOT "help" our cause even if it did get some ramps put in. He did it the "angry gimp" way instead of even trying to "work with" or present a low-cost solution.

I can see the "angry gimp" I WAS & the "angry gimp" some people currently are BECAUSE of having been THAT "angry gimp".

When I was a teen I saw the trees & not the forest, it was only once I had grown up & traveled through that forest that I saw THE WHOLE FOREST....I thought "OLD" was 40's because I didn't see that they are where I WOULD BE. Now I'M THERE & I can look back at those who are still pissing & moaning about the trees in their way instead of learning to listen to those who were once lost in the forest but found their way out. We WERE "angry gimps" & if those of you who are stuck bashing your heads against oak trees would stop thinking you're a woodpecker or beaver who can burrow or chew your way through you'd look up & see the sun & look to the side & see the moss perhaps not laying out a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you out but at least trying to point you in the right direction to find your own path out of the forest.

Some I'm sure will scratch their heads & be clueless as to what I'm even trying to say. Some will undoubtedly see this post & tell me why it doesn't pertain to them & why they have nothing to learn from any of these analogies. However I know there are others who will agree because they've found their own path through that forest, whether it was the exact same road I took out is irrelevant because we can each provide different vantage points of that forest to the ones who are still stuck on those oak trees. And BTW we're all on top of that hill having a drink & eatin sunflower seeds watching through binoculars taking bets on who will knock themselves out trying to go THROUGH the trees instead of learning to go around them.

[A trophy guy]

wheeliebear75, on 29 December 2011 - 05:52 AM, said:

(forgive me if this isn't quite as eloquent as others might be able to write....but I hope it still gets the basic points across)

They say "You never stop learning" & I think this holds true for anyone who ALLOWS or accepts "learning". Growing can sometimes HURT & especially if it is done in any significant chunks.

When we're children & we hit growth spurts where we suddenly gained several inches & the pants that fit just fine only a few weeks ago are all of a sudden looking more like nickers(exposing our ankles) & the sleeves of jackets no longer cover the whole length of our arms exposing our wrists....often with such SUDDEN spurts of growth.....it can literally HURT.

Now growth as far as our view of the world changes; as we get older & as we see more of the world, interact with OTHER people & have different experiences....we do GROW just not in the physical sense. THIS type of growth if done in large amounts can also "hurt". It "hurts" to find out that there is more ways to see any given situation that just yours. It "hurts" because we feel protected & "safe" by our own feelings of self-assurance in our own opinions as being factual rather than OUR OPINION.

At some point within this learning process some of us come to the realization that we do NOT know everything. When we're young children we think our parents know everything & can do anything, when we're adolescents in elementary school (primary school for you Europeans) we think we know quite a bit. By the time we're teenagers we get this grandiose idea that not only do we know EVERYTHING but adults don't know . For some of us this teenage view of the world & Life sticks around well into their 20's or even later for a few poor souls. The rest of us grow up & start incorporating the ideas of others because we start learning that we do NOT have the ONLY answer & our parents might know a few things. At 1st when we transition from that teen-tunnel vision it is usually because we either do something charging ahead without looking at the bigger picture & ALL the aspects of something which then bites us where we were unable to see, it isn't until we LEARN to stop & think and hey maybe listening to the advice of someone who HAS experience in this is a good idea even if in the end you still disagree.

It is never "easy" to admit that perhaps there is a better way of building this same mouse trap that is giving you trouble & snapping your own fingers.....but it IS part of the learning & growing process that although sometimes painful, we do as we mature. When we can admit that other people's experiences count for something, we may initially feel this somehow means that to admit that they may be on to something means we are somehow "less", but this is the teenage adolescent way of thinking, when we can admit that they may have something, we are not "less" we become MORE.

That teen-tunnel vision is from lack of experience & it isn't until we have had a few that that changes, it isn't until we've lived a while that we can see that we still have room to learn & grow & that change is often a GOOD thing.

Do you remember being a kid of around 10 or so? And at that age 20's seemed "old" & if you were old enough to have any stray grays you weren't just "old" you were "OLD"? By the time you were in your teens you couldn't wait to be in your 20's so you could "drink & do what I want", and 30 was no longer "OLD" but it was still "old". I don't know about anyone else but now I AM in my mid 30's & quite frankly even 40's doesn't seem "old" anymore because it's just right around the corner.

At my eldest daughter's wedding my youngest daughter & a child-hood friend of theirs were reminiscing/commiserating with each-other;when they were in junior high (2ndary 4 U Euros) would take their allowance $,walk to the grocery store for 2 cans of $.25 sodas each, then take them another block to the fast food hamburger place & buy a $.99 burger, then take them & go to the nearby park & eat them then play.....but they'd ALSO gossip "Oh my God that has to suck working at Jack-In-The-Box & Albertson's! I am NEVER going to have sucky jobs like flipping burgers & bagging groceries." with eachother, NOW they're just starting out & because they had no prior work experience they had to settle for (Drum roll please!)....FLIPPING BURGERS @ JACK-IN-THE-BOX & BAGGING GROCERIES @ ALBERTSON'S! Moral of that story being they didn't see those people as being themselves with bills to pay in 5-10yrs they figured they knew it all & with that diploma they'd just sail on into the work-force with a great salary & own a car & have a nice apartment within 6mo or so of graduating. They're starting to realize that there IS a bigger picture & that not only do older adults know a few more things about Life than they do....we ARE them & they WERE us.

When I was 1st injured I liken that to my (sorry if "gimp" offends anyone") Gimp-teendum in that I had tunnel vision. I had only the gimp-eyes of a NEWLY injured person who could only see things from MY view point.

Once when I was out to eat not too long after I got hurt a waitress started tying a plastic bib that their restaurant had for the young children around my 11mo old baby's neck & mind you I was already obviously preggers with #2. I flipped out on her ONLY seeing that their bib was made of cheap plastic & my daughter was still teething & therefor CHEWING EVERYTHING & presented a choking hazard. To this day I am STILL glad they stopped using those cheap trash-bag material bibs. At the time however...I saw her "help" as being condescending & a way of saying I was incapable of taking care of my child (BECAUSE OF my disability). I now in retrospect no-longer think she was indicating that I was "incapable", she would most likely have done that for any young child who's mother was obviously uncomfortably pregnant (I was 5mo pregnant at the time & yup you couldn't miss the bulge).

I used to have to swallow back tears as I watched my daughters being swung around & given piggy back rides. It hurt because I HAD done this kinda stuff with my younger sister because I'm 8&1/2 yrs older than her. So all I was able to see with my girls (they were born shortly after I was hurt) was how unfair it was to both me AND them, that mommy couldn't swing them around or teach them to ride bikes. I failed to see the beauty in the joy on their faces. THEY were not upset that mommy didn't swing them around...THEY were just happy that there were getting swung around & that I was there to "look mommy look mommy!". MY "allergies" (tears) didn't let me focus on what I had but only what I didn't. When my son came along a few years later....I was no more able to give him piggybacks around the yard or teach him to ride a bike either....I was however able to sit back & enjoy HIS fun....but I got to sit back with a cool drink while my brother-in-law & rest of the family got to take turns working like a horse & sweating like a pig to make him "WEEEEE! Do it again do it again!".

I see NOW that there was an "angry gimp" side of me at the earlier stages. I've since learned to to see things differently. I rarely get upset now when I hear people say "Well at least you still have your mind intact." not knowing that I've got a brain injury. It USED TO BE that I'd just "hide" the TBI symptoms & pass them off as "Oh I'm just tired." "Oh it's the meds I take....sorry." instead of just admitting that in SPEECH I tend to mess up what I'm trying to say a LOT more. And that the "spacing out/zoning out" is in actuality a MINOR seizure that I do not medicate for because to ME the side-effects of the "cure" are worse than the disease....I'm never going to drive anyway so it truly is MY DECISION. After a # of years I started realizing that by not confronting the stereotypes of TBI that the problem would never change. At 1st I may have gone about this in a less than congenial manner. I have in my "old age" learned that the old adage that one can attract a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar set in. This set in I must admit in part to the (in MY opinion) NASTY way I saw a fellow gimp behaving. The "OMG I hope I don't ever act that way to someone!" set in. We'll just call him "NN" since this is actually a REAL LIFE fellow S.D. w/c user (now deceased); NN had a reputation for yelling at trolley operators, & it often seemed as though he went out of his way to find a place that hadn't been made to ADA codes (I'm talking when ADA was FIRST introduced & businesses were still figuring out what this meant for THEM) in even out of the way areas in places like Ramona & Julian (these are the rural communities of San Diego & many of their buildings especially in Julian were kept "turn of the century" as a "rustic tourist attraction"...the circa 1880-1930's buildings are part of the ambiance.). Going OUT OF YOUR WAY to FIND "a bone to pick" didn't make the business owners there very happy because of HOW he went about it. Sometimes yes a business DOES "NEED TO BE sued" because they flippantly disregard ADA even though they have the means to fix it, & we need GOOD PR to keep the approval from mainstream public OF ADA to do this....going out of his way to FIND someone did NOT "help" our cause even if it did get some ramps put in. He did it the "angry gimp" way instead of even trying to "work with" or present a low-cost solution.

I can see the "angry gimp" I WAS & the "angry gimp" some people currently are BECAUSE of having been THAT "angry gimp".

When I was a teen I saw the trees & not the forest, it was only once I had grown up & traveled through that forest that I saw THE WHOLE FOREST....I thought "OLD" was 40's because I didn't see that they are where I WOULD BE. Now I'M THERE & I can look back at those who are still pissing & moaning about the trees in their way instead of learning to listen to those who were once lost in the forest but found their way out. We WERE "angry gimps" & if those of you who are stuck bashing your heads against oak trees would stop thinking you're a woodpecker or beaver who can burrow or chew your way through you'd look up & see the sun & look to the side & see the moss perhaps not laying out a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you out but at least trying to point you in the right direction to find your own path out of the forest.

Some I'm sure will scratch their heads & be clueless as to what I'm even trying to say. Some will undoubtedly see this post & tell me why it doesn't pertain to them & why they have nothing to learn from any of these analogies. However I know there are others who will agree because they've found their own path through that forest, whether it was the exact same road I took out is irrelevant because we can each provide different vantage points of that forest to the ones who are still stuck on those oak trees. And BTW we're all on top of that hill having a drink & eatin sunflower seeds watching through binoculars taking bets on who will knock themselves out trying to go THROUGH the trees instead of learning to go around them.

"After a # of years I started realizing that by not confronting the stereotypes of TBI that the problem would never change."-words of wisdom.

[greybeard]

Wheeliebear75, that was an incredibly well considered post from which your wisdom shines. Thank you from this old guy who is still learning.



@-ATG, But I suspect that wb75 had more success with her honey than she would have done by knocking heads.

Edited by greybeard, 29 December 2011 - 12:01 PM.

[Tatiana]

Thankyou wheeliebear, i enjoyed the read and can appreciate the insight that you offered and shared.

I have been almost 9 months injured now and i know how important it is for me to find the joy in every day...because the alternative perspective on life is just too depressing a thought.

I am very aware of what i can no longer practically do and i find this frustrating, i was always very 'hands on' with my horses and stableyard, teaching and competeting at national level, this is what i miss most.

Fortunatley for me, i had developed an ethos some years ago that each day i wake up is the start of a new day.To share and appreciate with the people i love and to laugh (yes, sometimes cry)with and enjoy those moments.

I do try to make the most of every day and thank God that i am here.

I am always travelling along my never ending learning curve, reflecting and evaluating and knowing that some things i could have done so much better.

It isnt the mistakes we make that define us.... but how how we learn from them does.

Edited by ffion, 29 December 2011 - 08:48 AM.

[goose]

Good job on your thread. I could relate in so many ways. My sister was 8 1/2 yrs. older than me and I always wanted to tag along. I never could understand why I wasn't wanted. Me in the third grade wanting to hang with the high school seniors...go figure!

I remember when she turned 30 and I was 21...I thought she was an OLD women and completely out of the know. In my early 20's , I was ready to set the world on fire and wasn't scared to try. The possibilities were endless...my glass was running over. I was invencible!

Then at 24 my world was turned upside down. I had to grow up fast but also had to relearn everything all over again. I had to learn to accept the direction I was now headed in was going to be bumpy and not the smooth sailing I had hoped and dreamed for.

As we age, the generation ahead of us gets closer in age. The gaps begin to narrow and we learn to appreciate their wisdom. Our eyes are opened to their knowledge whereas in the past those same people were clueless ...so we thought. In fact, the younger generation is just too native to understand just how much life will teach you. Life lessons are invaluable. You have to be willing to learn and accept the challengers and to release any and all bitterness.

There will always be obstacles along the way. Each person has to decide if they are rocks or hugh boulders.

[JaneC]

Thank you for starting this thread. I really appreciated what you were saying, and it is certainly true that we never stop learning, although often we don't stop to reflect on this.

I think immediately after my accident I was so focused on my recovery and rehabilitation and was making progress that I was actually very positive. Now, nearly 5 years later, I have more time to reflect and I am also trying to appreciate that each day is a new day and get something positive out of it if I can.

We all have things we miss that we did not do and now cannot do, but I try to be grateful for all the things I DID do before my injury.

I have been told by a couple of people in the village where I live that I am an inspiration to them.....I give a smile, thank them but always say....please don't put me on a pedestal, knowing me I will fall off it !! I am always aware that there are so many people out there whose life is so much harder than mine.

[RZ94]

I read the whole thing........And wondered how many people whatched me smash into trees.

I think I be ready to sit at the top of that hill wif my binoculars and a cooler and watch also......So whatcha think? Next Friday?

Wicked cool view on life there....Dig it.

[wheeliebear75]

greybeard, on 29 December 2011 - 08:45 AM, said:

Wheeliebear75, that was an incredibly well considered post from which your wisdom shines. Thank you from this old guy who is still learning.



@-ATG, But I suspect that wb75 had more success with her honey than she would have done by knocking heads.

Have in deed learned that a smile does a lot more towards opening up doors for us than does a scowl or rolling of our eyes.

My B/F's daughter has spent the night on several occasions however most of those overnight stays at our house were after a day of "off-roading" so by the time we got back home my body was DONE for the day. For this reason she saw her father helping me get into my PJ's for the night fallowed by either a rest before dinner or just an easy night of cards or board games. She didn't realize that on a normal day (the off-roading is a lot of fun but a big strain on my body) I can & DO dress myself. So when she was over for Christmas Eve she was quite surprised when she saw me dressing myself & even more surprised at how I did it. She's never seen anyone get their pants on without standing up. So although no she didn't say anything "stupid" her amazement was still obvious & understandable. And I have started to kind of explain things & she has started feeling more comfortable about asking questions about what happened & all. I'm sure that she would have offered help to someone disabled before "getting to know me" but I think "pity" would have played a larger part in offering help whereas NOW although she'd still offer the help it wouldn't be from PITY so much as just a genuine offer to help someone else that she respects enough to offer assistance to.

[A trophy guy]

greybeard, on 29 December 2011 - 08:45 AM, said:

Wheeliebear75, that was an incredibly well considered post from which your wisdom shines. Thank you from this old guy who is still learning.



@-ATG, But I suspect that wb75 had more success with her honey than she would have done by knocking heads.

??I agreed with everything she said?? Why did you post this?

[wheeliebear75]

??? I'm starting to wonder myself! ???

[greybeard]

A trophy guy, on 30 December 2011 - 02:32 AM, said:

greybeard, on 29 December 2011 - 08:45 AM, said:

Wheeliebear75, that was an incredibly well considered post from which your wisdom shines. Thank you from this old guy who is still learning.



@-ATG, But I suspect that wb75 had more success with her honey than she would have done by knocking heads.

??I agreed with everything she said?? Why did you post this?

Because many of your posts have shown that you have a tendency to be unnecessarily (note the emphasis) confrontational and defensive, so I thought it was advice that you could maybe use. Like many of the responses you have received to your posts it was well intentioned, but you are, of course, free to take it or leave it.

[A trophy guy]

greybeard, on 30 December 2011 - 10:33 AM, said:

A trophy guy, on 30 December 2011 - 02:32 AM, said:

greybeard, on 29 December 2011 - 08:45 AM, said:

Wheeliebear75, that was an incredibly well considered post from which your wisdom shines. Thank you from this old guy who is still learning.



@-ATG, But I suspect that wb75 had more success with her honey than she would have done by knocking heads.

??I agreed with everything she said?? Why did you post this?

Because many of your posts have shown that you have a tendency to be unnecessarily (note the emphasis) confrontational and defensive, so I thought it was advice that you could maybe use. Like many of the responses you have received to your posts it was well intentioned, but you are, of course, free to take it or leave it.

Well since that "advice" that you gave me was the exact same advice that Wheeliebear gave everyone in her thread (without naming anyone in particular, being respectful); I believe you just wanted to publicly shame me. I find your "well-intentioned" remark and your smiley face emoticon totally phony. I am just being real.

[wheeliebear75]

ATG I do NOT speak for anyone else, but I don't think anyone is interested in doing anything but to try and help you.

The forum is "public" therefor anything said to you or anyone else in these forums is technically "public".

Now as to the "trying to shame" part....
I see people including myself pointing to your posts not as trying to attack you (sorry if you felt this way) but as trying to point out instances where it seems even by your account/telling of the situation that confrontation seems to fallow you everywhere. At some point we all run across situations that warrant confrontation to some degree but you seem to have an exceptionally high # of these situations arise.

There ARE those who deserve a footplate to the shins like that guy on YouTube who spouted on & on about how disabled parking is a waste or whatever.....THAT guy is outright "asking for it" from the disabled community by being the detestable that he is.

The majority of people however are not intending to piss off people in wheelchairs; people have tried pointing out to you that virtually none of us knew about w/c life or SCI til we suddenly got our worlds flipped upside down & had to learn to start over from scratch, we have tried using analogies that illustrate how one can learn from those who have more experience in anything whether it be a trade or a skill or a hobby or navigating through LIFE, many of us have tried to show through the sharing of our own stories (myself in particular) of how we have evolved & grown in our SCI life & NOW see the errors of OUR previous ways, we have tried to explain that we all get lumped as ONE in the eyes of the AB world (how one person in a w/c behaves or presents themselves is reflected onto EVERYONE ELSE who ALSO uses a w/c).....and yet it has only made you felt picked on?

Not sure what else TO say.....NOTHING seems to be sinking in. Start smoking pot?

I hope that in another 5-10yrs you'll mellow out & be able to see things differently. And when you do I'd like to think that you'll still be around so that we can all shake your hand & welcome you to the top of that hill so you can help give directions to the rest who are still stuck in the forest trying to go through the oak trees instead of around...which do you prefer sunflower seeds or trail-mix? UNTIL THEN....I'm just glad we're not in the same area so I don't have to undo any of your bad w/c PR.

Edited by wheeliebear75, 30 December 2011 - 11:33 PM.

[greybeard]

A trophy guy, on 30 December 2011 - 08:58 PM, said:

greybeard, on 30 December 2011 - 10:33 AM, said:

A trophy guy, on 30 December 2011 - 02:32 AM, said:

??I agreed with everything she said?? Why did you post this?

Because many of your posts have shown that you have a tendency to be unnecessarily (note the emphasis) confrontational and defensive, so I thought it was advice that you could maybe use. Like many of the responses you have received to your posts it was well intentioned, but you are, of course, free to take it or leave it.

Well since that "advice" that you gave me was the exact same advice that Wheeliebear gave everyone in her thread (without naming anyone in particular, being respectful); I believe you just wanted to publicly shame me. I find your "well-intentioned" remark and your smiley face emoticon totally phony. I am just being real.

OK. Last post then I'm out of here.

I doubt that many will have been surprised by your response. It ran true to form. I just want you to know that my reply was well intentioned.

Have a good life.