14 replies to this topic

[Kaylee]

Last night Hunter, Eden, and myself went out to to dinner like we do most Sundays, but this time our experience was no where near as good as it usually is.

The waitress was horrible from the first minute till the last. When she took are drink orders she asked me, Hunter very politely spoke up, she did the same thing when she came back for our food order, it was like she didn't know he could order himself.

At one point I had to leave the table to go change Eden, as the waitress saw me nearing the restrooms she told me she'd watch for Hunter. I told her is he was able to drive us here I think he's just fine sitting alone for a few minutes.

She also assumed we were brother and sister, like there was no way we could be married. Eden being only 10 months an only knowing 3 words she tends to get on a loop of repeating the same word for a long time, she was on one of her DaDa kicks, the waitress said " does someone miss their Daddy".


We have been to this restaurant a couple times, and never ever been treated like this, this is the first time we've ever really had this problem to this extent.

It's only 6am and I have been up since 3 thinking about this, I can't get it out of my head. I really wish we had complained. I just have a really hard time with confrontation, and Hunter is just very easy going, he just ignored her.

If it didn't bother Hunter, should it be bugging me so much? Was it wrong not to complain? Is it to late?

Thank you for letting me rant a little, made me feel a bit better.

Edited by Kaylee, 09 January 2012 - 04:00 PM.

[hannibal]

Understandable how you feel. I have learned over the years to ignore people like that. When I was at work once the person was amazed I could drive and said he I was the bravest person ever and never could be in the situation I was in. I think unless you have experience in the medical field or date someone with a SCI. Regular people don't understand that we live perfectly normal lives. It wouldnt hurt to talk to him about what happened, but I deff see your point.

[wheelie182]

I don't think there's any reason to complain here. She just needs to be educated in the difference between Physical and Mental disabilities.

[greybeard]

wheelie182, on 09 January 2012 - 06:27 PM, said:

I don't think there's any reason to complain here. She just needs to be educated in the difference between Physical and Mental disabilities.

Exactly.

[shynook11]

Kaylee, on 09 January 2012 - 03:52 PM, said:

Last night Hunter, Eden, and myself went out to to dinner like we do most Sundays, but this time our experience was no where near as good as it usually is.

The waitress was horrible from the first minute till the last. When she took are drink orders she asked me, Hunter very politely spoke up, she did the same thing when she came back for our food order, it was like she didn't know he could order himself.

At one point I had to leave the table to go change Eden, as the waitress saw me nearing the restrooms she told me she'd watch for Hunter. I told her is he was able to drive us here I think he's just fine sitting alone for a few minutes.

She also assumed we were brother and sister, like there was no way we could be married. Eden being only 10 months an only knowing 3 words she tends to get on a loop of repeating the same word for a long time, she was on one of her DaDa kicks, the waitress said " does someone miss their Daddy".


We have been to this restaurant a couple times, and never ever been treated like this, this is the first time we've ever really had this problem to this extent.

It's only 6am and I have been up since 3 thinking about this, I can't get it out of my head. I really wish we had complained. I just have a really hard time with confrontation, and Hunter is just very easy going, he just ignored her.

If it didn't bother Hunter, should it be bugging me so much? Was it wrong not to complain? Is it to late?

Thank you for letting me rant a little, made me feel a bit better.

Maybe the waitress just wasn't sure how to react. If she is new, or inexperienced with disabled people....I would certainly call the restaurant and let them know how you feel about the situation. I doubt the waitress was intending to be rude in any way, but maybe just didn't know how to react? This is a good lesson for her to learn that disabilities don't mean inabilities.

[edlee]

Complain????? Why???? Isn't that what tipping is about? She sounded friendly, curteous , and attentive,,, simply not aware of what a wheelchair actually means,,, and not that many ABs are.

I should think that simply omitting the tip would let her know that something was wrong. If she asks you about it on a return trip,,, then you could explain why you felt so offended. It's what the AB world does in corresponding cases,,, why not do the same?
ed

[A trophy guy]

This situation reminds me of a situation involving a certain gentleman in a hot tub.

[tsh3406]

Kaylee, on 09 January 2012 - 03:52 PM, said:

Last night Hunter, Eden, and myself went out to to dinner like we do most Sundays, but this time our experience was no where near as good as it usually is.

The waitress was horrible from the first minute till the last. When she took are drink orders she asked me, Hunter very politely spoke up, she did the same thing when she came back for our food order, it was like she didn't know he could order himself.

At one point I had to leave the table to go change Eden, as the waitress saw me nearing the restrooms she told me she'd watch for Hunter. I told her is he was able to drive us here I think he's just fine sitting alone for a few minutes.

She also assumed we were brother and sister, like there was no way we could be married. Eden being only 10 months an only knowing 3 words she tends to get on a loop of repeating the same word for a long time, she was on one of her DaDa kicks, the waitress said " does someone miss their Daddy".


We have been to this restaurant a couple times, and never ever been treated like this, this is the first time we've ever really had this problem to this extent.

It's only 6am and I have been up since 3 thinking about this, I can't get it out of my head. I really wish we had complained. I just have a really hard time with confrontation, and Hunter is just very easy going, he just ignored her.

If it didn't bother Hunter, should it be bugging me so much? Was it wrong not to complain? Is it to late?

Thank you for letting me rant a little, made me feel a bit better.

Go back, specifically ask the manager that you not be seated in her section, and let them know why. Her dumb ass ought to come to your table with an appology....

[ClaraTaylor]

Why not just write a note to the manager- not a complaint as such but an "observation" about staff / customer handling.
Can't hurt and it'll get it off your chest.

[HiltonP]

I am normally someone who is quite critical of the manner in which able-bodied people negatively impact our lives, but in this case I believe the original poster and a number of of those who have replied are being unnecessarily harsh towards the waitress. If you read the post carefully it is clear that the waitress was not a rude or impolite, did no harm, and was not aggressive. Yes, she may have lacked some of the finer nuances of dealing with disability, but that goes for 99.9% of the population, including many disabled people themselves. There might well be opportunity for some education, but I do not believe that harsh criticism is necessary.

[jenny407]

Dear Kaylee, while I can see what so many others said on here - that the waitress was just ignorant but not really malicious - I'm still very sorry this spoilt the evening for you, and I can understand why.

If I were you - after calming down a bit - I'd go and have a talk with her, in a quiet moment, when she has time. I'd explain how you felt and why. For me, such talks are difficult but they also take a burden off my soul - and the waitress can learn and profit and do things better next time. The art of such a talk is to stick with "What I feel", not "What YOU did ...". Focus on your own emotions and give her the credit of ignorance.

And dear Kaylee, what a wonderful husband you have in Hunter who reacts with so much calm. Be proud of him!

[Tetracyclone]

HiltonP, on 10 January 2012 - 01:00 PM, said:

I am normally someone who is quite critical of the manner in which able-bodied people negatively impact our lives, but in this case I believe the original poster and a number of of those who have replied are being unnecessarily harsh towards the waitress. If you read the post carefully it is clear that the waitress was not a rude or impolite, did no harm, and was not aggressive. Yes, she may have lacked some of the finer nuances of dealing with disability, but that goes for 99.9% of the population, including many disabled people themselves. There might well be opportunity for some education, but I do not believe that harsh criticism is necessary.

Finer nuances??? A big fat one, in my book.

I simply agree that the place to start is to ask someone who has treated you well to explain the difference to her between physical and mental disabilities. She is clueless, but sweet, and will probably respond well if educated by a 3rd party.

I do understand your feelings, Kaylee, but let Hunter be your teacher here.

[airart1]

i still don't get the problem of it all, if i took offence to every person/waitress that ignored me because i was in a chair there wouldn't be a place to eat in my town,..........quit sweating the little stuff.......did she really offend you that much because she asked you what you wanted to drink and not your husband....was it really that big a deal or did you just make it a big deal?

[Kaylee]

Now with time having past I'm very glad I didn't complain, I can see she did not mean anything by it. I just haven't been myself lately, I've been quite emotional combined with the fact I was stressing about upcoming surgery I had on Tuesday I just got to worked up. Thank you everyone.

[airart1]

good for you, life's to short to get worked up over small, uncontrollable issues........