60 replies to this topic

[A trophy guy]

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

Like the title says, today I was assaulted. It happened (of course) right inside the lobby to my gym just after I had arrived today. When I get there and exit my car and approach the front doors, I see a car sitting there idling, completely blocking the cut curb to the front doors. As I was wheeling towards the car, I see a lady sitting there and I motion to her that I need to get by and her car is blocking me. She replies (in a rather obnoxious manner); "Yeah, yeah, I'm moving", just as some big guy is getting into the passenger seat (it's dark outside so I can't see very well).

Before she pulls away, I say "Ma,am, you know this isn't the best place to park." As the car starts to drive away, the man (who I didn't know at the time was the husband), yells out the window, "You shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!!" I sat there in shock for a minute and then wheeled inside.

Once inside I check in at the front desk and I tell the employees about the crazy thing that had just happened. As I am telling it, the man (the husband) comes back
inside the gym, coming directly for me. "You and me need to have a SERIOUS discussion!", he shouts. "You aren't the only disabled person on the face of the planet, you know." "You are just a selfish asshole!" And he goes on for a bit more. Then he goes to leave! I say, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn't a good idea." "You can't come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond."

"The hell I can't", he shouts, and (keep in mind this is a huge man, albeit fat) grabs hold of my left shoulder and shoves me as hard as he could. Of course I go flying out of my chair onto the floor and my chair flips upside down. Luckily, my head didn't hit anything and I was unhurt.

As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, "Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!" Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.

The management helped me back up into my chair (I didn't really need it but what the hell?) and brought me into their office where I told them I intended on pressing charges. They understood and they said the police were on their way. The fat man was still there, however, and once he realized I intended on pressing charges, his demeanor changed unlike anything I've ever seen before.

It really was pathetic. This man was groveling, apologizing profusely, trembling even. I was expecting him to start crying. Seriously. He was telling me he knew he had all sorts of personal issues regarding his weight and his disability (he has a bad knee, not sure how much of that is due to his obesity) which makes him lash out. It was sad and pathetic, really. As I was sitting there, watching this lump of a man, thinking about the headache I'd have to go through if I did indeed press charges, I decided to not press them. I just didn't want to deal with it.

When the cops got there, I informed them that I had decided against pressing charges. However, we were required to give accounts of what happened and a report was written up. But the whole thing was crazy. Indeed.

Edited by A trophy guy, 17 January 2012 - 07:14 AM.

[Kodie]

Sounds like one hell of an evening!

[A trophy guy]

Apparently what he was upset about is that he is disabled (bad knee) and he had his wife sitting there at the cut curb to pick him up. He said because he was disabled he needed that space. But I don't understand.

If someone is being picked up and entering into the passenger seat and they are walking, even with a limp, why wouldn't pulling up right next to the curb itself be an appropriate parking location? How is a limp even relevant here? The car could pull up right next to the curb, he could walk up and open the passenger door and he wouldn't even have to take a step down into the car because it would be right next to the curb. And this way the cut curb remains unblocked, as it should.

[wheeliebear75]

Wow...you need to pick a different town or at least another gym!

On a serious note though.....informing someone that parking in front of a curb cut isn't a good idea is hardly something to get upset about no matter who said it, but ESPECIALLY when that person is in need of & being blocked from said curb cut, & her reaction/attitude of "Yeah yeah yeah" speaks volumes about HER character, & her hubby obviously has a chip on his shoulder that is NOT "chocolate chip". But if he was willing to push you he may have been willing to push someone else in a chair who may have gotten BADLY hurt by the fall.....I'm thinking he should have gotten charges brought against him. It's OBVIOUS that the man is in DIRE NEED of some anger management classes.

[ClaraTaylor]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 06:54 AM, said:

Apparently what he was upset about is that he is disabled (bad knee) and he had his wife sitting there at the cut curb to pick him up. He said because he was disabled he needed that space. But I don't understand.

If someone is being picked up and entering into the passenger seat and they are walking, even with a limp, why wouldn't pulling up right next to the curb itself be an appropriate parking location? How is a limp even relevant here? The car could pull up right next to the curb, he could walk up and open the passenger door and he wouldn't even have to take a step down into the car because it would be right next to the curb. And this way the cut curb remains unblocked, as it should.

No idea. But you just let him get away with it. Bet they got home, forgot all about you. And will probably do it again.
Sometimes approaching strangers is a very dangerous thing. Glad you were not hurt.

[trynity7]

Wow that is really crazy. that is totally unexceptable and that dude deserves to be in jail. You should have pressed the charges. You know one of my biggest fears is to be in a situation like that. Glad your ok

[Ches]

I hope you weren't worried about being "That Guy" if you pressed charges...that is definitely not the case. Why you chose to let this one slide by is beyond my comprehension. If you want to take someone's shit, take ours

You're lucky you were surrounded by others, there's no telling what that guy would've done given no witnesses.

Sure you won't change your mind?

[isobar]

Be mindful in the next couple of days if you feel any new pain it may be a result of your encounter ..... i hope you have all his contact info?

[Gunnslinger8]

WOW ATG! You had restraint after the incident, I would've went BERZERK!
The thought of some big guy that isn't in a chair putting their hands on me with the intent to do harm makes my blood boil. I wouldn't have cared if he apologized, trembled, pissed or shit himself! YOU DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON SOMEONE IN A WHEELCHAIR OVER SOME HEATED EXCHANGE, EVER! No charges pressed! Hey are you sure you didn't hit your head as you fell?

Hey I wonder if this guy has had a history with violence, you should find out and then make a decision to go further with charges. If he has had assaulted anyone in the past, which is I'm pretty sure he has, if he is willing to be physical with a stranger in a wheelchair that speaks volumes about his past, teach this abuser a lesson!

Anyway no injuries you're alright, but check on this guys past, SERIOUSLY.

[Tinbasher]

I hope he gets kicked from the gym.

In the UK the authorities decide on charges regardless if the victim wishes to press or not.

That kind of behaviour at a gym smells of steroids to me.

[Tetracyclone]

ATG-
While I total commiserate with your fatigue with the situation, leading you to not press charges, I bet this guy has done the same trembling-tearful bit with his wife numerous times after assaulting HER.

just sayin' ...

[megatrig]

It really is an odd world at times!!! lol

You'll be chuckling about it over a beer in a while!

Shame how "sad" some people are! hey ho!

[dreamerr]

OK you complain all the time about parking and I am usually on your side but this time you are soooooooooo wrong. A huge ass man had the nerve to push you out of your chair and you need to press charges this will send a message to him and all the people around that they can't push you around. If someone pushed me over I would have gotten very hurt so that is scary.

PLEASE CHANGE YOUR MIND AND PRESS CHARGES. I know it is a big pain in the ass but with all the calling of the police and stuff come on this won't be so bad. Even if you don't go all the way through at least start the process so he gets arrested and such. Scare the crap out of him and all those illegal parkers at your gym.

[StillFingers]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 06:54 AM, said:

Apparently what he was upset about is that he is disabled (bad knee) and he had his wife sitting there at the cut curb to pick him up. He said because he was disabled he needed that space. But I don't understand.

If someone is being picked up and entering into the passenger seat and they are walking, even with a limp, why wouldn't pulling up right next to the curb itself be an appropriate parking location? How is a limp even relevant here? The car could pull up right next to the curb, he could walk up and open the passenger door and he wouldn't even have to take a step down into the car because it would be right next to the curb. And this way the cut curb remains unblocked, as it should.

ATG, this is just f*@ked up, so glad you weren't injured; as Isobar mentioned, keep monitoring your body for a few days just to make sure all is okay. As for charges, Ches has a good point, this might be the guy's regular behavior, I understand your not wanting to waste your time in court, see him again, but if your body shows any signs of damage...press charges, he needs a harsh lesson in manners, the definition of disabled and some serious chill time.

For the next few days/weeks, when you're going to the gym, alert the front desk; from the parking lot, that you're there to workout, not get assaulted...keep them honest, still alert to this guy's actions, on their toes so to speak, they don't need their members getting injured; in anyway! You might even talk to the gym's management about possibly suspending this guy's access for a bit; but it just might make the guy even angrier and you don't need anymore of his I'm sure glad you got the police involved, use them when/if you need them; restraining orders work also!

As for your question, why use the curb cut instead of the curb? It's gravity, physics, inches, lazy f*@kness, self preservation (his knee) getting into a car while parked next to a 6" or 8" curb places the seat level in the car LOWER for him, so the rude FAT asshole has to bend at the knees a bit more (his feet are at door height) to slide his fat ass into the seat (fall into it I'd guess). By using the curb cut his feet are at tire level, the seat is higher, less knee bend/stress, less effort for a fat lazy angry man...your suggestion of using the curb would make him strain his knee more; how much it's damaged we don't know...it's no excuse for treating you as they did tho!

The polite thing to do would have been for them to just let you use the curb cut, then load the angry fat prick into his car...but angry is the key here, both of them pissed off people...you were just in their way and they let loose on you, unfortunately you got the full force of their stored up festering anger right up/on/all over your person!

Keep a close eye on your physical condition, big hugs dude, you did nothing wrong, just defended yourself as you should have!

Jerry

Edited by StillFingers, 17 January 2012 - 05:25 PM.

[wheelie182]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

"Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!"

hahahahahaha

[qbounce]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair,

ATG, although I'm concerned that this happened to you, does this sentence not speak volumes regarding your responsibility with these incidents?
How many confrontations would that be, and how many more times would you have expected to confront people before something like this would happen?
I wager to guess that the more you confront people, as is your nature, the better chances you have of these incidents reoccurring.

It isn't normal to have a physical confrontation with someone on any level, let alone multiple ones as you do.
At some point and time your going to have to take some responsibility as to why these incidents reoccur, because I'm telling you, it's down right out of the ordinary that these people get angry at you without provocation!

Edited by qbounce, 17 January 2012 - 05:55 PM.

[wiggy]

you didn't press charges?!? So you just let this fatty get away with pushing you out of a chair. That's ridiculous and, NO, you're not a better person for letting him get away with assault.

[mellowgator]

[quote name='A trophy guy' timestamp='1326777350' post='269573']
This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.


atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com/news/flint/index.ssf/2011/03/paraplegic_man_confronts_man_i/2552/comments-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

[rage]

I am unsure as to whether today is even today, or if tomorrow will be tomorrow due to today being Jan 17th yet today is Friday, March 18, 2011 according to the article.

Irrelevant as to what spectrum we are on or as to when it is, I feel the need to voice that for every action, a reaction must find place.

[StillFingers]

qbounce, on 17 January 2012 - 05:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair,

ATG, although I'm concerned that this happened to you, does this sentence not speak volumes regarding your responsibility with these incidents?
How many confrontations would that be, and how many more times would you have expected to confront people before something like this would happen?
I wager to guess that the more you confront people, as is your nature, the better chances you have of these incidents reoccurring.

It isn't normal to have a physical confrontation with someone on any level, let alone multiple ones as you do.
At some point and time your going to have to take some responsibility as to why these incidents reoccur, because I'm telling you, it's down right out of the ordinary that these people get angry at you without provocation!

Hi Q, ummm, nope I don't completely agree with the responsibility implications you suggest (bold) above; it's not that rare. Although I've not been out much this last year, I personally have been verbally assaulted, my carers, my wound care nurses, other friends, my mom and my better half while out in public.

My morning carer was shopping last week, was in her car putting her handbag back on the seat. A driver yelled obscenities and racial insults at her, got out of his car banged on her drivers window and told her to get her white trash bitch ass out of his side of town...yes this was in little Saigon...lots of folks around...no one helped her; she was just to sloooow exiting her parking spot.

There is, seems to be, a growing intolerance for anything people find inconvenient these days, and both verbal and physical retaliation is becoming the norm, acceptable form of behavior...with little intended provocation. The recent riots outside an Apple store in Japan, eggs/bottles thrown, guards slapped/hit, ruffed up...insults n threats hurled by hundreds...we see this pattern all the time...because something wasn't delivered or available quick enough.

Is ATG of an aggressive nature, could be, I recognize it, in my youth; football I played linebacker, in weight training just loved being big n strong; in debate; in person or here on App...testosterone has it's place. I've mellowed through the years, but f*@k with me or someone I care for...you'll feel/hear me, about it.

Taking responsibility for our actions is a must, picking n choosing our battles the same...just being chair bound makes us vulnerable to ABs; even those disabled more able, their advantage is clear...being a bit more careful is mandatory, cowering/not defending our rights is not; sometimes those that stand up get knocked down, take the knock, keep living, move on; unafraid. ABs face this tooooo...it's life.

We live in economically desperate times (what a joke we are to the 2nd and 3rd worlds), many are plain pissed off for what they can't have, for their level of comfort (anymore). Ethics, morels, decency seem to be in decline everywhere; bankrupt...many, not all, just don't give a f*@k about anyone but themselves.

Jerry

PS. People were nuts at xmas last year, we're two weeks into 2012, I count 9 outbursts, one physical altercation so far this year...great start...stay safe there be crazies out there

Edited by StillFingers, 17 January 2012 - 09:43 PM.

[StillFingers]

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com...s-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

Hi Karen, I only see a one line article plus comments, some do point to the possibility of confrontation, most are quite supportive...from the link you provided...where's the rest of the story?

Jerry

Edited by StillFingers, 17 January 2012 - 07:28 PM.

[rage]

Mr. Stillfingers ---- http://www.mlive.com...onts_man_i.html

[A trophy guy]

qbounce, on 17 January 2012 - 05:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair,

ATG, although I'm concerned that this happened to you, does this sentence not speak volumes regarding your responsibility with these incidents?
How many confrontations would that be, and how many more times would you have expected to confront people before something like this would happen?
I wager to guess that the more you confront people, as is your nature, the better chances you have of these incidents reoccurring.

It isn't normal to have a physical confrontation with someone on any level, let alone multiple ones as you do.
At some point and time your going to have to take some responsibility as to why these incidents reoccur, because I'm telling you, it's down right out of the ordinary that these people get angry at you without provocation!

Ugh, I DEFINITELY chose the wrong words, I knew someone would jump on them. All I meant was Ive been in fights before. This was completely different because I played no role in precipitating it. The TWO other incidents I was referring to both occurred during the first couple of years after my accident and both involved copious amounts of alcohol.

[Kaylee]

What a horrible guy, I'm glad you are ok.

[A trophy guy]

StillFingers, on 17 January 2012 - 07:26 PM, said:

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com...s-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

Hi Karen, I only see a one line article plus comments, some do point to the possibility of confrontation, most are quite supportive...from the link you provided...where's the rest of the story?

Jerry

This is to Mellowgator (for some reason it wouldn't let me quote her post): It was dark and raining outside. This car was illegally parked. I shouldn't have to wait in the rain for someone who selfishly chose to block the cut curb. I would repeat my actions to the tee if I had to repeat them. But thanks.

[A trophy guy]

Rather than press assault charges, I was going to see that this man was kicked out of the fitness center. Does this not seem adequate? This way, he will feel the consequences of his actions and the gym will be free of this menace of a man. Does no one here feel that this is adequate?

[wiggy]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 08:03 PM, said:

Rather than press assault charges, I was going to see that this man was kicked out of the fitness center. Does this not seem adequate? This way, he will feel the consequences of his actions and the gym will be free of this menace of a man. Does no one here feel that this is adequate?

hell no, the guy deserved to go to jail. he won't think twice about doing this again, he learned nothing.

[mellowgator]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

StillFingers, on 17 January 2012 - 07:26 PM, said:

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com...s-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

Hi Karen, I only see a one line article plus comments, some do point to the possibility of confrontation, most are quite supportive...from the link you provided...where's the rest of the story?

Jerry

This is to Mellowgator (for some reason it wouldn't let me quote her post): It was dark and raining outside. This car was illegally parked. I shouldn't have to wait in the rain for someone who selfishly chose to block the cut curb. I would repeat my actions to the tee if I had to repeat them. But thanks.

hi atg,

i get it that she was blocking the curb cut. once she told you she was moving that should of been the end of discussion. scolding her about her parking certainly didn't sit well with her husband.

i'm aware that you aren't going to change your tactic. i'm just saying that you shouldn't be so surprised when you do get assaulted. people kill each other in acts of road rage often enough.

i'm not so sure it's illegal for someone to unload passengers at the front of a buisness. if she had left the vehicle then it would of been illegal parking.


mellowgator

[StillFingers]

rage, on 17 January 2012 - 07:29 PM, said:

Mr. Stillfingers ---- http://www.mlive.com...onts_man_i.html

Thanks Rage! ATG, sorry bro, call the police...blocking cars with yours is in my book just plain stupid, it amounts to a physical confrontation...do yourself a favor, don't do this or you will continue to get accosted. Revoking your membership was a good business decision, if they revoked the other persons as well, otherwise find another gym. Parking in a handicapped spot illegally is not a serious crime, it's not nice and inconveniences us, but...

Edited by StillFingers, 17 January 2012 - 08:28 PM.

[StillFingers]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 08:03 PM, said:

Rather than press assault charges, I was going to see that this man was kicked out of the fitness center. Does this not seem adequate? This way, he will feel the consequences of his actions and the gym will be free of this menace of a man. Does no one here feel that this is adequate?

ATG, I'd guess your gym's management is already thinking on suspending his membership...they may for business sake not do so, rock/disturb the boat anymore. Personally, I would press charges, his actions should be rewarded...in court.