60 replies to this topic

[qbounce]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 07:41 PM, said:

Ugh, I DEFINITELY chose the wrong words, I knew someone would jump on them. All I meant was Ive been in fights before. This was completely different because I played no role in precipitating it. The TWO other incidents I was referring to both occurred during the first couple of years after my accident and both involved copious amounts of alcohol.

I certainly don't condone the response that this man had. Assault and battery is not the answer, ever . . . unless your an MMA fighter, that is.

But allow me to put this as nicely as possible, this overweight man would never have gotten back in the rain, hobbled on bad knee back to where you were, called you an asshole, then thrown you out of your chair without some sort of provocation, in his mind . . . . cmon, let's be honest here, something set him off.

All's I'm saying is, you might want to reconsider how you approach situations, because this isn't the first time you've mentioned other verbal altercations in public, sobriety aside where people don't see eye to eye with what your trying to convey. If you'd considered for just a second to make attempts to soften your approach . . . . a little, "hi, how's it goin' today?" . . . maybe even crack a smile as an opener. I'd hasten to guess this thing wouldn't have happened with a softer approach.

I'm seriously not trying to make light of this situation. In fact, you really should get an x-ray where you landed in case there's a fracture you can't feel. At least you'll have medical documentation close to the time of incident if something does arise.

If you don't feel a criminal court filing is in order, you could always go the civil court route. I realize we all live in a litigious society where sue crazy America might possibly strike again, but if you were hurt, certainly you are entitled to some sort of compensation for any medical bills and pain ad suffering you may have been caused.

[A trophy guy]

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 08:18 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

StillFingers, on 17 January 2012 - 07:26 PM, said:

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com...s-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

Hi Karen, I only see a one line article plus comments, some do point to the possibility of confrontation, most are quite supportive...from the link you provided...where's the rest of the story?

Jerry

This is to Mellowgator (for some reason it wouldn't let me quote her post): It was dark and raining outside. This car was illegally parked. I shouldn't have to wait in the rain for someone who selfishly chose to block the cut curb. I would repeat my actions to the tee if I had to repeat them. But thanks.

hi atg,

i get it that she was blocking the curb cut. once she told you she was moving that should of been the end of discussion. scolding her about her parking certainly didn't sit well with her husband.

i'm aware that you aren't going to change your tactic. i'm just saying that you shouldn't be so surprised when you do get assaulted. people kill each other in acts of road rage often enough.

i'm not so sure it's illegal for someone to unload passengers at the front of a buisness. if she had left the vehicle then it would of been illegal parking.


mellowgator

(bolding mine)

Uh, right, but I never said parking "at the front of a business" to unload passengers was illegal; people do that all the time, everyday. What is illegal is blocking the cut curb to do so.

[edlee]

Bummer, Guy,,, but I can relate. Chair or no,, I don't plan to take any s**t from anybody. As for the poloice,,,, well,, you were there,, you have a better take on the guy's attitude,,, hell,., he stuck around. So I'll take your word for it,, that it was best to pass on the assault charge.

I DO think he should be suspended from the gym,,, but in my opinion,, the management should already be doing that, with out your input. If no,, do what you think is right.

As far as toning it down to remain safe,,,f@*& that. As an AB, I was never what you might call ,, proficient, at fighting, and I don't think I ever won a fight,,,, but,,,, I never had to fight the same guy twice. Even in a chair,,, or on the floor,,,, I'll find a way to convince them to get close enough.

But,, enough of this "fight club" crap. ATG,, your restaint was commendable,,, his actions are on record,, you wern't injured,,, Good story , though.
ed

[mellowgator]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 09:26 PM, said:

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 08:18 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 07:52 PM, said:

StillFingers, on 17 January 2012 - 07:26 PM, said:

mellowgator, on 17 January 2012 - 06:44 PM, said:

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

atg,

with all due respect, didn't you read the comments from your newspaper article?


http://www.mlive.com...s-newest-8.html


a lot of these comments warned you that you actions could cause you to be serioulsy harmed or killed. you may want to consider that waiting for this man to load quietly may not of been such a bad thing after all.



mellowgator

Hi Karen, I only see a one line article plus comments, some do point to the possibility of confrontation, most are quite supportive...from the link you provided...where's the rest of the story?

Jerry

This is to Mellowgator (for some reason it wouldn't let me quote her post): It was dark and raining outside. This car was illegally parked. I shouldn't have to wait in the rain for someone who selfishly chose to block the cut curb. I would repeat my actions to the tee if I had to repeat them. But thanks.

hi atg,

i get it that she was blocking the curb cut. once she told you she was moving that should of been the end of discussion. scolding her about her parking certainly didn't sit well with her husband.

i'm aware that you aren't going to change your tactic. i'm just saying that you shouldn't be so surprised when you do get assaulted. people kill each other in acts of road rage often enough.

i'm not so sure it's illegal for someone to unload passengers at the front of a buisness. if she had left the vehicle then it would of been illegal parking.


mellowgator

(bolding mine)

Uh, right, but I never said parking "at the front of a business" to unload passengers was illegal; people do that all the time, everyday. What is illegal is blocking the cut curb to do so.

here's michigan law. it comes down to what color the curb cut was painted. if it was yellow they can unload if blue they can't.

http://www.expertlaw...ead.php?t=87070


mellowgator

Edited by mellowgator, 17 January 2012 - 09:36 PM.

[StillFingers]

Here are California's parking rules...they're extensive...just in case locals don't know, you visitors; read up...even parking is complicated in the west coast part of disney land

California Driving: Parking
http://www.caldrive.com/parking.html

Edited by StillFingers, 17 January 2012 - 10:02 PM.

[greybeard]

StillFingers, on 17 January 2012 - 10:00 PM, said:

Here are California's parking rules...they're extensive...just in case locals don't know, you visitors; read up...even parking is complicated in the west coast part of disney land

California Driving: Parking
http://www.caldrive.com/parking.html

Wow! You 'd think they'd make them simpler when you consider all the weed grown and smoked there.

[Denna]

My link
My friend was assaulted at her school over a parking spot. She still has the scars on her face from it. You really shouldnt take anyone lightly. People are capable of anything. Especially people you dont know. This is why I dont like to go out alone.

[Denna]

My link
A better description of what happened.

[A trophy guy]

Ok, little update...I was back at Genesys today (name of my gym) and ran into the same fat guy again (management hasn't come to a decision yet as to his ultimate membership status). I must admit, I was struck by his seemingly genuine nature of contrition and honesty. He told me that once he left the gym yesterday, he had a talk with his wife, and he understands exactly why I said what I said. He told me that when he came today, he had his wife drop him off at the curb, leaving the cut-curb open and free. He also again apologized profusely and repeatedly, and I have to say, I felt he was being truthful. He really did seem disgusted with himself.

So I see this as really, after what was a disaster, a win-win situation. I mean, yeah, it had to be reached by way of assault but it concluded with this man learning why leaving that curb open is so important and it prevents yet another car from blocking it again in the future for me and all the others that depend on it's clearance. Yeah, it's a shame that things had to go down like this but at least they have been resolved well.

And I really am not hurt. This I know. I have fallen much worse many times.

[dreamerr]

I still think you should press charges no matter what the gym does. He will learn not to assault people. I think that was so scary what he did to you. I hope you still feel ok today and have no nagging pain as a result.

Like I said in an earlier post you can file charges, let him get booked, printed and eventually after he is harassed enough you can drop them if you don't want to be bothered. At least start the process.

[Pete Anderson]

So, the real question is, did you have the opportunity to workout?

What a dumb ass. He's probably bi-polar and without meds.

Glad your okay.

Pete

[rage]

If possible, I wish to throw out what is known as an interjection, if I may?

I would also like, if allowed, to give this one a name, Devils Advocate, is one that comes to mind.
I am of the opinion that, there are always three sides to any argument, Mr/Mrs. X's view, Mr/Mrs. Y's view, and somewhere in between, ly's the truth.

ATG, I think it obvious that you are in possession of an analytic mind.
Although, I fear it might be that of colourblindness, at times.

If we are to believe your version of the truth, then we are destined to the path of foolery, or within distance thereof due to contradiction.
I am by no means taking your character into question, I too, hold a mind where analysis finds place, though I may have a larger spectrum of colours than you to play with at this present time.

Taking into consideration, your first and last post, only.
It has led me to believe that your First Amendment Right, might have got you into a bit of trouble, were none existed if kept tight lipped.
Furthermore, the contradiction based within posts.

You will have heard these words, not too long ago, "let elaboration find place to educate the youth".
These words may find an ear less willing to accept, if so, I mean no offence by my humble offerings.

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

Like the title says, today I was assaulted. It happened (of course) right inside the lobby to my gym just after I had arrived today. When I get there and exit my car and approach the front doors, I see a car sitting there idling, completely blocking the cut curb to the front doors. As I was wheeling towards the car, I see a lady sitting there and I motion to her that I need to get by and her car is blocking me. She replies (in a rather obnoxious manner); "Yeah, yeah, I'm moving", just as some big guy is getting into the passenger seat (it's dark outside so I can't see very well).

I am unsure as to when today actually happened, by your own words, the time stamp says quiet recent, yet article date says different.
Keeping this in mind, we shall revert to this very time stamp later on.
By your own admission, the man she was waiting for, was just getting into the car as you were nearing the cut curb, where in fact you were delayed for a few seconds, if any, her tone is irrelevant as no doubt she either knew no better from her upbringing or it was in return for a less than complimentary voice that she received, if the former, surely, you, as the understanding person you portray to be, would have realized this and be the man that you are and ignored it.
Also, it could have been for good reason for her to be there for that split second, you advised of darkness and visibility was hampered, this big guy, describing him later on as "the fat guy", and then projecting discrimination yet again while tagging him with issue of "obesity", does not bring favour to your demeanor within this thread as to how it truly developed.
To add, I do believe that in the U.S, those who suffer from over weight problems are entitled to a disabled parking badge, something no doubt, you failed to look for.
It could have been possible at that point in time that the lady was parked there so to ease the journey of one who might not have been able to walk too far, especially in the dark.

Quote

Before she pulls away, I say "Ma,am, you know this isn't the best place to park." As the car starts to drive away, the man (who I didn't know at the time was the husband), yells out the window, "You shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!!" I sat there in shock for a minute and then wheeled inside.

Taking none of the above into consideration, you felt the need to voice your disapproval and therefor reaped repercussion of your actions.

Quote

Once inside I check in at the front desk and I tell the employees about the crazy thing that had just happened. As I am telling it, the man (the husband) comes back
inside the gym, coming directly for me. "You and me need to have a SERIOUS discussion!", he shouts. "You aren't the only disabled person on the face of the planet, you know." "You are just a selfish asshole!" And he goes on for a bit more.

Please note that this mans vocabulary categorizes you correctly.
Of course, I mean his use in the term "disabled".

Quote

Then he goes to leave! I say, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn't a good idea." "You can't come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond."

"The hell I can't", he shouts, and (keep in mind this is a huge man, albeit fat) grabs hold of my left shoulder and shoves me as hard as he could. Of course I go flying out of my chair onto the floor and my chair flips upside down. Luckily, my head didn't hit anything and I was unhurt.

As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, "Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!" Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.

He was leaving, it was you who brought things further and yet again, your terminology towards this man, does not match the profile of the character of that, which you portray in this thread.
As you get older, and especially as you grow within a relationship with the opposite sex, you learn one lesson that will dictate how smooth your relationship will be, and that is, "it's not what you say, but how you say it".

Quote

The management helped me back up into my chair (I didn't really need it but what the hell?) and brought me into their office where I told them I intended on pressing charges. They understood and they said the police were on their way. The fat man was still there, however, and once he realized I intended on pressing charges, his demeanor changed unlike anything I've ever seen before.

It really was pathetic. This man was groveling, apologizing profusely, trembling even. I was expecting him to start crying. Seriously. He was telling me he knew he had all sorts of personal issues regarding his weight and his disability (he has a bad knee, not sure how much of that is due to his obesity) which makes him lash out. It was sad and pathetic, really. As I was sitting there, watching this lump of a man, thinking about the headache I'd have to go through if I did indeed press charges, I decided to not press them. I just didn't want to deal with it.

When the cops got there, I informed them that I had decided against pressing charges. However, we were required to give accounts of what happened and a report was written up. But the whole thing was crazy. Indeed.

I don't think there is the need to reiterate my trail of thought regarding your description of this man.
His weight bore strength, you are all of a wee 120 pounder.
His, groveling, as you described it, shows to be a true reflection of this mans character as the realization of what happened might have sank in.
Roid rages can be a funny thing, I throw the odd weight around the place myself at times and know all too well as to how out of character I could get at times. Trust me ATG, you wouldn't want to go near them, keep to your routine!

If you look back to where I voiced to getting back to a little bit of the unfinished.
Your last post, with time stamp of yesterday brings conflict of eight months of the initial interaction as time stamped by the article offered by super sleuth, Mellowgator.

To finalize, I have only but one question followed by a rhetorical comment.

Has anybody thought to look at the CCTV footage from both inside and out of the gym?

Maybe it's the Irish in me, but we worry little of such things and just nod our head and mutter " Feckin' Gobshite" and move on. <---rhetorical bit!

rage

Edited by rage, 19 January 2012 - 04:34 AM.

[wheeliebear75]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 08:03 PM, said:

Rather than press assault charges, I was going to see that this man was kicked out of the fitness center. Does this not seem adequate? This way, he will feel the consequences of his actions and the gym will be free of this menace of a man. Does no one here feel that this is adequate?

The one thing "charges" do that getting club membership revoked does not is that it leaves a paper trail showing he has been violent before...enough "charges" filed whether or not they result in any formal punishment or not...he'll still start showing a pattern for like if Tetra pointed out if he's the sort to thump on his wife or anyone else....EVENTUALLY the tears & sobs won't make any difference because everyone will see him for the jack-ass he IS.

Although I may not agree with how you handle all situations or deal with the AB's in general...I don't see myself having done anything differently than you did in the situation aside from pressing charges of course.

[A trophy guy]

rage, on 19 January 2012 - 04:29 AM, said:

If possible, I wish to throw out what is known as an interjection, if I may?

I would also like, if allowed, to give this one a name, Devils Advocate, is one that comes to mind.
I am of the opinion that, there are always three sides to any argument, Mr/Mrs. X's view, Mr/Mrs. Y's view, and somewhere in between, ly's the truth.

ATG, I think it obvious that you are in possession of an analytic mind.
Although, I fear it might be that of colourblindness, at times.

If we are to believe your version of the truth, then we are destined to the path of foolery, or within distance thereof due to contradiction.
I am by no means taking your character into question, I too, hold a mind where analysis finds place, though I may have a larger spectrum of colours than you to play with at this present time.

Taking into consideration, your first and last post, only.
It has led me to believe that your First Amendment Right, might have got you into a bit of trouble, were none existed if kept tight lipped.
Furthermore, the contradiction based within posts.

You will have heard these words, not too long ago, "let elaboration find place to educate the youth".
These words may find an ear less willing to accept, if so, I mean no offence by my humble offerings.

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

Like the title says, today I was assaulted. It happened (of course) right inside the lobby to my gym just after I had arrived today. When I get there and exit my car and approach the front doors, I see a car sitting there idling, completely blocking the cut curb to the front doors. As I was wheeling towards the car, I see a lady sitting there and I motion to her that I need to get by and her car is blocking me. She replies (in a rather obnoxious manner); "Yeah, yeah, I'm moving", just as some big guy is getting into the passenger seat (it's dark outside so I can't see very well).

I am unsure as to when today actually happened, by your own words, the time stamp says quiet recent, yet article date says different.
Keeping this in mind, we shall revert to this very time stamp later on.
By your own admission, the man she was waiting for, was just getting into the car as you were nearing the cut curb, where in fact you were delayed for a few seconds, if any, her tone is irrelevant as no doubt she either knew no better from her upbringing or it was in return for a less than complimentary voice that she received, if the former, surely, you, as the understanding person you portray to be, would have realized this and be the man that you are and ignored it.
Also, it could have been for good reason for her to be there for that split second, you advised of darkness and visibility was hampered, this big guy, describing him later on as "the fat guy", and then projecting discrimination yet again while tagging him with issue of "obesity", does not bring favour to your demeanor within this thread as to how it truly developed.
To add, I do believe that in the U.S, those who suffer from over weight problems are entitled to a disabled parking badge, something no doubt, you failed to look for.
It could have been possible at that point in time that the lady was parked there so to ease the journey of one who might not have been able to walk too far, especially in the dark.

Quote

Before she pulls away, I say "Ma,am, you know this isn't the best place to park." As the car starts to drive away, the man (who I didn't know at the time was the husband), yells out the window, "You shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!!" I sat there in shock for a minute and then wheeled inside.

Taking none of the above into consideration, you felt the need to voice your disapproval and therefor reaped repercussion of your actions.

Quote

Once inside I check in at the front desk and I tell the employees about the crazy thing that had just happened. As I am telling it, the man (the husband) comes back
inside the gym, coming directly for me. "You and me need to have a SERIOUS discussion!", he shouts. "You aren't the only disabled person on the face of the planet, you know." "You are just a selfish asshole!" And he goes on for a bit more.

Please note that this mans vocabulary categorizes you correctly.
Of course, I mean his use in the term "disabled".

Quote

Then he goes to leave! I say, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn't a good idea." "You can't come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond."

"The hell I can't", he shouts, and (keep in mind this is a huge man, albeit fat) grabs hold of my left shoulder and shoves me as hard as he could. Of course I go flying out of my chair onto the floor and my chair flips upside down. Luckily, my head didn't hit anything and I was unhurt.

As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, "Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!" Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.

He was leaving, it was you who brought things further and yet again, your terminology towards this man, does not match the profile of the character of that, which you portray in this thread.
As you get older, and especially as you grow within a relationship with the opposite sex, you learn one lesson that will dictate how smooth your relationship will be, and that is, "it's not what you say, but how you say it".

Quote

The management helped me back up into my chair (I didn't really need it but what the hell?) and brought me into their office where I told them I intended on pressing charges. They understood and they said the police were on their way. The fat man was still there, however, and once he realized I intended on pressing charges, his demeanor changed unlike anything I've ever seen before.

It really was pathetic. This man was groveling, apologizing profusely, trembling even. I was expecting him to start crying. Seriously. He was telling me he knew he had all sorts of personal issues regarding his weight and his disability (he has a bad knee, not sure how much of that is due to his obesity) which makes him lash out. It was sad and pathetic, really. As I was sitting there, watching this lump of a man, thinking about the headache I'd have to go through if I did indeed press charges, I decided to not press them. I just didn't want to deal with it.

When the cops got there, I informed them that I had decided against pressing charges. However, we were required to give accounts of what happened and a report was written up. But the whole thing was crazy. Indeed.

I don't think there is the need to reiterate my trail of thought regarding your description of this man.
His weight bore strength, you are all of a wee 120 pounder.
His, groveling, as you described it, shows to be a true reflection of this mans character as the realization of what happened might have sank in.
Roid rages can be a funny thing, I throw the odd weight around the place myself at times and know all too well as to how out of character I could get at times. Trust me ATG, you wouldn't want to go near them, keep to your routine!

If you look back to where I voiced to getting back to a little bit of the unfinished.
Your last post, with time stamp of yesterday brings conflict of eight months of the initial interaction as time stamped by the article offered by super sleuth, Mellowgator.

To finalize, I have only but one question followed by a rhetorical comment.

Has anybody thought to look at the CCTV footage from both inside and out of the gym?

Maybe it's the Irish in me, but we worry little of such things and just nod our head and mutter " Feckin' Gobshite" and move on. <---rhetorical bit!

rage

Whew! Where to start? First, let me thank you for taking the time to read, absorb and analyze this story. I appreciate that.

Let me first respond with the easiest thing to respond to: you mention that I failed to look for a handicap permit, that would have been irrelevant in this situation as they were not in a handicapped parking spot; and an intelligent man such as yourself must know that that
is the only time a permit/placard is valid/relevant.

Also, as far as my terminology describing this man. I chose my words carefully, I always do. This man was an example of someone who used his obesity and relative disability as reason for self-apathy and self-pity. He never came to workout, just to sit in the jacuzzi. He was morbidly obese. And he originally used the reason of his disability as to why he needed his wife to park across the cut curb to pick him up, yet that proved to be nonsense.

There was no other way to describe this man other than "pitiful, pathetic" and the other descriptors I used to paint the picture of the transformation that happened before my eyes of a man going from irate, bitter, hostile, rage to wilted, begging, over-compensating apologetic limp man in a matter of a couple minutes.

It was cold and raining and I encountered a car blocking the cut curb to the entrance. All I did was say "you know, that isn't the best place to park" to someone who was still sitting right in front of me. I mentioned her tone HERE in this thread, not in the actual incident. And her tone came about before I even said that, it came just from me motioning to her that I couldn't get by.

And it was totally unnecessary for this to be occurring in the first place. This man originally claimed that because of his disability (his bad knee), he needed to have his wife come and park across the cut curb to pick him up. Not only did this prove to be untrue; it's nonsense on it's face. Someone pulling right up next to the regular curb and opening the passenger door would have a basically straight-even path to enter the car; there wouldn't be a big step up or down.

And it proved to be nonsense by the fact that I saw this man the very next day and he was falling over himself apologizing and he said, after a talk with his wife, that he understood everything I said and from now on he was being dropped off and picked up at the curb.

I am sorry that you think my account is embellished or biased in any way. I almost wish I had asked for a copy of the police report, so I could copy and paste the sucker. ;) The only thing that I did that I didn't put in originally is when he yelled "shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!" out his window as they were driving off, I yelled back, "f*@k you asshole".


ETA: And I don't understand at all what you are talking about with the issue of "time of posts" and being confused about my timeline with the story. The actual dates of the real-life incidents may not line up exactly right with my posts here, but that is just because I didn't post right away,andIwasjust keeping a degree of continuity with the thread. I guess I wasn't expecting such a detective!! It certainly doesn't mean I am being dishonest about anything I've said.

Edited by A trophy guy, 19 January 2012 - 07:05 AM.

[Canuck Jason]

WRONG on so many levels! I'm glad you were not hurt BUT I definately would have pressed charges. Even if he had assaulted an able person he should have had assault charges pressed on him. Physical violence is NOT acceptable no matter who you are, what kind of day you had, or how bad your life is treating you!

[A trophy guy]

@Rage-one more thing. The following is cut and pasted rather than quoting all those boxes...

As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, "Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!" Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.



"He was leaving, it was you who brought things further and yet again, your terminology towards this man, does not match the profile of the character of that, which you portray in this thread."





The top paragraph is my post and the second, quoted sentence is your response. This man had just flung me out of my chair and was attempting to flee. He didn't even check to see if I was hurt, he just headed for the doors. So yes, I said something. He shouldn't have been able to leave. I intended on having him arrested. And if, upon being on the floor after being knocked out of my chair, I said something like, "Don't let the fat man leave!", I would consider that a fairly toned-down and reasonable response. I could imagine much worse.

[greybeard]

"Cut and paste" is good for cutting bandwidth.

[Gunnslinger8]

""Cut and paste" is good for cutting bandwidth." LOL!

I made a funny by cutting and pasteing GBs "Cut and paste" joke

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. (The head banging smiley is another joke)

[Edinburgh Colin]

Gunnslinger8, on 19 January 2012 - 11:29 AM, said:

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. :

ATG the take a deep breath is good advice and if I'm not mistaken has been suggested to you before. Everything is less agrivating after a good pause. The biggest characteristic of wisdom is knowing when it is just wiser to walk away.
EC

[edlee]

That may be true,,, but for me,,,, walking,, or rather rolling away from a like situation,, is simply going against my nature. I can think of nothing ATG did,, that would have been far from my own actions.

Turning the other cheek may be fine,, but how might you react if it was someone stealing from you? Would you react to that? How about, if what he was stealing,, was something very important to you?

My sense of self,, is very important to me. Some might call it dignity,, and that partly describes what I mean,, but that is what this man was trying to take from ATG,,, I ,, for one,, cannot fault him in any way,,,, including his decision not to carry the case farther. That, too,, helps maintain,, or even enhance one's view of one's "self".
ed

[A trophy guy]

Edinburgh Colin, on 19 January 2012 - 11:59 AM, said:

Gunnslinger8, on 19 January 2012 - 11:29 AM, said:

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. :

ATG the take a deep breath is good advice and if I'm not mistaken has been suggested to you before. Everything is less agrivating after a good pause. The biggest characteristic of wisdom is knowing when it is just wiser to walk away.
EC

Please tell me in what way "taking a deep breath" would have bettered me in any way here? Unless, by "taking a deep breath" you really meant "sitting by and saying nothing while this car was illegally and unnecessarily blocking my entrance" while I was in the rain. And again, all I said was "you know, it's not the best idea to park here".

[StillFingers]

A trophy guy, on 19 January 2012 - 10:47 PM, said:

Edinburgh Colin, on 19 January 2012 - 11:59 AM, said:

Gunnslinger8, on 19 January 2012 - 11:29 AM, said:

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. :

ATG the take a deep breath is good advice and if I'm not mistaken has been suggested to you before. Everything is less agrivating after a good pause. The biggest characteristic of wisdom is knowing when it is just wiser to walk away.
EC

Please tell me in what way "taking a deep breath" would have bettered me in any way here? Unless, by "taking a deep breath" you really meant "sitting by and saying nothing while this car was illegally and unnecessarily blocking my entrance" while I was in the rain. And again, all I said was "you know, it's not the best idea to park here".

ATG, you did fine...in this instance catching everyone's attention was imperative, a HUGE AB assaulting you, then his shameful, pitiful, cowardly fleeing from the crime, was perfect, it required a quick specific response...imho.

Edited by StillFingers, 19 January 2012 - 11:16 PM.

[Edinburgh Colin]

A trophy guy, on 19 January 2012 - 10:47 PM, said:

Edinburgh Colin, on 19 January 2012 - 11:59 AM, said:

Gunnslinger8, on 19 January 2012 - 11:29 AM, said:

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. :

ATG the take a deep breath is good advice and if I'm not mistaken has been suggested to you before. Everything is less agrivating after a good pause. The biggest characteristic of wisdom is knowing when it is just wiser to walk away.
EC

Please tell me in what way "taking a deep breath" would have bettered me in any way here? Unless, by "taking a deep breath" you really meant "sitting by and saying nothing while this car was illegally and unnecessarily blocking my entrance" while I was in the rain. And again, all I said was "you know, it's not the best idea to park here".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking you, just the "as he was about to leave I said 'woa,woa....' ". As something is finishing you chip in, the need to respond again. It may have not resulted in physical assault rather just fizzled out from what was obviously an a@@**le having a rant.
Not saying he should be allowed to get away with calling you names either, just saying - a pause/deep breath and the situation would have taken a completely different course.
EC

[A trophy guy]

Edinburgh Colin, on 20 January 2012 - 12:05 AM, said:

A trophy guy, on 19 January 2012 - 10:47 PM, said:

Edinburgh Colin, on 19 January 2012 - 11:59 AM, said:

Gunnslinger8, on 19 January 2012 - 11:29 AM, said:

ATG just take a deep breath and relax, I was little irritated earlier but a few good friends gave me some great advice, and now I THINK I'm alright. :

ATG the take a deep breath is good advice and if I'm not mistaken has been suggested to you before. Everything is less agrivating after a good pause. The biggest characteristic of wisdom is knowing when it is just wiser to walk away.
EC

Please tell me in what way "taking a deep breath" would have bettered me in any way here? Unless, by "taking a deep breath" you really meant "sitting by and saying nothing while this car was illegally and unnecessarily blocking my entrance" while I was in the rain. And again, all I said was "you know, it's not the best idea to park here".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking you, just the "as he was about to leave I said 'woa,woa....' ". As something is finishing you chip in, the need to respond again. It may have not resulted in physical assault rather just fizzled out from what was obviously an a@@**le having a rant.
Not saying he should be allowed to get away with calling you names either, just saying - a pause/deep breath and the situation would have taken a completely different course.
EC

Ok, I see your point.

[richo]

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 06:54 AM, said:

Apparently what he was upset about is that he is disabled (bad knee) and he had his wife sitting there at the cut curb to pick him up. He said because he was disabled he needed that space. But I don't understand.

If someone is being picked up and entering into the passenger seat and they are walking, even with a limp, why wouldn't pulling up right next to the curb itself be an appropriate parking location? How is a limp even relevant here? The car could pull up right next to the curb, he could walk up and open the passenger door and he wouldn't even have to take a step down into the car because it would be right next to the curb. And this way the cut curb remains unblocked, as it should.

hope i have the plesure of running into some one like that one day..see i have this littel trick thingy happening with my arm on my chair.lets just say it would be the fat prick on the ground.any way sounded like a real toughguy when the cops were called LOL

[Gunnslinger8]

Firstly let me just say I was not referring to the incident at the gym in my last post, I thought I could get you to settle down ("relax") it just seemed by your posts that you were becoming mildly annoyed, and as some of us know that how offensive and defensive thread posts, I'm going to use one of my favorite quotes "Go back and forth more than a tennis ball at Wimbledon" no ATG you was not mildly annoyed you were fine, I was wrong. I found that one liner by GB to be humorous so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone by also maybe deescalating the tone of the thread by saying take a deep breath, my fault I should'nt have interrupted the debate with that comment, I promise that will NEVER happen again I assure you, SORRY BOUT THAT.

Just so you know my feelings have not changed from my first post on this thread, you're not hurt that's the important thing.

I thought EC and myself had good intentions, don't think we wanna get involved in this debate (especially EC, I've been following his health issues) just figured do what many have tried in the past, and that was add some humor and advice to maybe prevent what I thought could parallel a couple past threads. I received several messages from friends earlier that evening when I happen to be mildly annoyed, it helped, so I tried to pay it forward, like I said my fault. Sorry EC for speaking for you, I shouldn't have done that. BTW hope the pain is subsiding.

Okay I'm exiting this thread for good. I will use my talents (talking too much and being silly) on my other profile for a little while. ;)

[welshonen]

Its a fact of life that there are always too side's to a story and sadly we are missing one. So I don't think its possible to give an opinion.

Edited by welshonen, 20 January 2012 - 08:24 AM.

[lavenderthistle]

Must admit I didn't read all the posts... voluminous! But I do think I got the main gist.

I did at first think that perhaps pressing charges would have been a smart move. BUT after the contrition he showed, it seems that perhaps the light hit him after all. I recall from my own days at the gym. Adrenaline is usually high. NOT defending the jerk for putting his hands on you at all!! I have also learned people here in MI seem to be rather afraid to stand up for what they believe in. They are also good at false bravado and rarely have anything with which to back it up. I find it quite gratifying to emasculate a husband in front of his wife when he's acting the douche. Southern women don't play the fool easily, we tend to fight for what we believe in, but also know when to poke the idiot with a crazy stick and leave.

I do at times back down from an argument, but only when I realize I am dealing with someone much less equipped than I am to be in the argument (in other words some people are just jackass morons with not a friggin clue). I will back down from those.

I recently got into a shoving match at a concert!! Yes sweet little innocent Lavi shoved the CRAP out of a drunk who crashed into me at a packed concert. He couldn't see my cane, but he was so far gone he never would have cared. Another lady decided to join me. We shoved his drunk butt well into the the next row and found some nice large drunk guys to hang near us. YES my husband was there and was kind of upset that I shoved the guy instead of him. For me...it was a matter of still feeling like I could defend myself.

Where is this CRAZY girl going you wonder???

Sometimes it's good to defend yourself and your personal space, sometimes a battle of wits with a moron is better left alone.

Happy days!!

Lav

[Big E]

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SHOULD HAVE PRESSED CHARGES AGAINST THAT GUY. SOUNDS LIKE A FAT ASS LOSER TO ME. I WOULD HAVE PRESSED CHARGES AND SUED HIS ASS TOO, AS I'M SURE THAT WHEN HE PUSHED ME HE WOULD HAVE CAUSED ONE OF MY INJURIES TO BECOME MORE SERIOUS THAN IT ALREADY IS. NO MERCY FOR A JERK LIKE THAT OR HIS LOUD MOUTH WIFE.

[Niceparalegs]

Pp

A trophy guy, on 17 January 2012 - 05:15 AM, said:

This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I've been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.

Like the title says, today I was assaulted. It happened (of course) right inside the lobby to my gym just after I had arrived today. When I get there and exit my car and approach the front doors, I see a car sitting there idling, completely blocking the cut curb to the front doors. As I was wheeling towards the car, I see a lady sitting there and I motion to her that I need to get by and her car is blocking me. She replies (in a rather obnoxious manner); "Yeah, yeah, I'm moving", just as some big guy is getting into the passenger seat (it's dark outside so I can't see very well).

Before she pulls away, I say "Ma,am, you know this isn't the best place to park." As the car starts to drive away, the man (who I didn't know at the time was the husband), yells out the window, "You shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!!" I sat there in shock for a minute and then wheeled inside.

Once inside I check in at the front desk and I tell the employees about the crazy thing that had just happened. As I am telling it, the man (the husband) comes back
inside the gym, coming directly for me. "You and me need to have a SERIOUS discussion!", he shouts. "You aren't the only disabled person on the face of the planet, you know." "You are just a selfish asshole!" And he goes on for a bit more. Then he goes to leave! I say, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn't a good idea." "You can't come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond."

"The hell I can't", he shouts, and (keep in mind this is a huge man, albeit fat) grabs hold of my left shoulder and shoves me as hard as he could. Of course I go flying out of my chair onto the floor and my chair flips upside down. Luckily, my head didn't hit anything and I was unhurt.

As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, "Call the police! And please don't let the fat man leave." "I was just assaulted!" Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.

The management helped me back up into my chair (I didn't really need it but what the hell?) and brought me into their office where I told them I intended on pressing charges. They understood and they said the police were on their way. The fat man was still there, however, and once he realized I intended on pressing charges, his demeanor changed unlike anything I've ever seen before.

It really was pathetic. This man was groveling, apologizing profusely, trembling even. I was expecting him to start crying. Seriously. He was telling me he knew he had all sorts of personal issues regarding his weight and his disability (he has a bad knee, not sure how much of that is due to his obesity) which makes him lash out. It was sad and pathetic, really. As I was sitting there, watching this lump of a man, thinking about the headache I'd have to go through if I did indeed press charges, I decided to not press them. I just didn't want to deal with it.

When the cops got there, I informed them that I had decided against pressing charges. However, we were required to give accounts of what happened and a report was written up. But the whole thing was crazy. Indeed.

ATG: First, I'm very glad you weren't hurt. Also, I just want to say that the fact that you didn't press charges against this man shows your true character. You chose to be kind instead of repaying meaness with more meaness. That is a good hearted thing to do. That guy if probably just a sad guy who is angry at the world and doesn't know how to handle it without aggression. I was assaulted several months back also....i am so glad I never pressed charges. The girl who assaulted me if now a friend.