36 replies to this topic

[BoyFallDown]

I just got hand controls so I'm starting to learn how to take apart and put together my own chair from the car. I find it's really embarrassing though, like everyone is staring. Anyone else dealing with this?

[HiltonP]

Newsflash!..... Half of the folks staring at you are probably brain-dead, the other half are waiting for the next inane SMS to come through on their mobile phone, which probably makes them brain-dead as well. These days everyone is so self absorbed that they don't really give a damn about anyone else, so I wouldn't worry too much about those stares. They may be looking at you for a moment that once their mobile phones springs to life you will be forgotten in a heartbeat!.....

[hannibal]

I find embarrsing a little bit. The only thing that bothers me is that people seem to think I automatically need help, when I really dont need it. When you turn them down some people get offended. Dont let it get to you, you will get used to it.

[RZ94]

NAW.....I DON'T EVEN NOTICE ANY MORE....PEOPLE SEE SUMTHIN' DIFFERENT THEY GONNA STARE....WAIT TILL YOU GOTS A FAMILY OF 9 SITTIN' THERE LIKE A SUNDAY PICNIC WAITIN' TO SEE THE SHOW.

JUST PUT THAT BAD BOY TOGETHER, JUMP INTO IT AND GET ON WIF YER DAY. THEY LOSE INTEREST PRETTY FAST ALSO.

Edit: Sorry fer the caps...I forgot. It will never happen again, till the next time.

Edited by RZ94, 23 January 2012 - 05:11 PM.

[BoyFallDown]

 hannibal, on 23 January 2012 - 04:53 PM, said:

I find embarrsing a little bit. The only thing that bothers me is that people seem to think I automatically need help, when I really dont need it. When you turn them down some people get offended. Dont let it get to you, you will get used to it.

I think that's what gets to me. There is this awkward tension where no one knows if they're supposed to help or not. And then everyone tries not to stare but they want to because they're curious. I know what's going through their mind because I used to be in their shoes. I just don't like being the object of random strangers attention I guess.

[D. Smith]

I use to get embarassed. It felt like they were watching to see if I'd mess up. However, after about a month of it the embarassment subsided.

[rue2you]

First of all, they are watching!! If you were sitting in a parked car, saw some young person pull in a handicap spot, then began to take out pieces of a wheelchair and then assemble it, hop in that same chair, and wheel confidently in a store, then would you "stare"? Of course you would and so would I!! Not so much out of rudeness but out of curiosity. Then, with a nice feeling for that awesome person that has chosen to continue living his life.

So, yes, just assume they are watching and then show them just how awesome you are!! Own it, boy, own it!!

[pikey]

I get more embarrassed when I drop a wheel and it goes out of reach or the chair rolls off. Sod what people think and as stated you will not notice people looking after a while.

[Doodle]

It used to put me off! I never felt embarrassed as such! I don't mind having some one watch me. As Rue2you said people are just curious, and I too from time to time find myself making observations of people if Im sat waiting somewhere!

Over time a thicker skin is grown, and you turn a blind eye!

[Chococat]

 BoyFallDown, on 23 January 2012 - 04:29 PM, said:

I just got hand controls so I'm starting to learn how to take apart and put together my own chair from the car. I find it's really embarrassing though, like everyone is staring. Anyone else dealing with this?

i am *just* starting to get over this. i still park my car in a quiet part if possible, partly cos i'm concerned i'll let the chair roll away by mistake and hit another person's car. Yes staring is embarrassing but i've decided i'm not going to let it stop me getting to the shops for a fix of retail therapy, plus i also need to concentrate on getting the chair out without it hitting my face cos its really quite sore!

[brockit79]

Yes it embarrasses me at times; I went to the bank in my dad's neighbourhood, which is where I grew up and so know lots of people, and I nearly had a meltdown LOL; it was awful. I tried to think why it felt so bad; I think that a. I don't want to explain why I am like this b. whilst as I have decided to plough on to get my life back I am still not really rehabilitated fully c. don't want pity, I could go on....

We just got to get on with it and hope that the fear doesn't overwhelm us totally because then SCI has won. I'd love to move to North Devon but it is a bit too hilly so maybe South Devon where I don't know anyone. *thinking out loud

[A trophy guy]

I like having people watch me. Granted, I just have a fold-up but it still makes people stop what they are doing and stare as I get my chair out and get into it. I (feigning unawareness of their watching eyes) just do it in an especially fluid, seemless and impressive manner; just for them.

[wheelie182]

I often think people are staring, but it turns out they're usually not, and if they do stare, I'm often told its out of curiosity. In fact, I'd bet that a lot of them are staring just to make sure you are actually disabled (if parked in a disabled bay). As soon as something more interesting comes up though, like a woman trying to reverse park, their attention is quickly withdrawn.

 Doodle, on 23 January 2012 - 07:58 PM, said:

It used to put me off! I never felt embarrassed as such! I don't mind having some one watch me. As Rue2you said people are just curious, and I too from time to time find myself making observations of people if Im sat waiting somewhere!

Over time a thicker skin is grown, and you turn a blind eye!

Stop Shouting!

[Tetracyclone]

I feel proud.

[Chococat]

 wheelie182, on 24 January 2012 - 10:04 AM, said:

As soon as something more interesting comes up though, like a woman trying to reverse park, their attention is quickly withdrawn.

Ooooh brave comment i love reverse parking btw!!!

[Doodle]

 wheelie182, on 24 January 2012 - 10:04 AM, said:

I often think people are staring, but it turns out they're usually not, and if they do stare, I'm often told its out of curiosity. In fact, I'd bet that a lot of them are staring just to make sure you are actually disabled (if parked in a disabled bay). As soon as something more interesting comes up though, like a woman trying to reverse park, their attention is quickly withdrawn.

 Doodle, on 23 January 2012 - 07:58 PM, said:

It used to put me off! I never felt embarrassed as such! I don't mind having some one watch me. As Rue2you said people are just curious, and I too from time to time find myself making observations of people if Im sat waiting somewhere!

Over time a thicker skin is grown, and you turn a blind eye!

Stop Shouting!

I was going to argue I wasn't shouting as I haven't used caps, but were you referring to my over use of explanation marks? it seems to be my favourite punctuation. lol

[Edinburgh Colin]

 Doodle, on 24 January 2012 - 05:06 PM, said:

 wheelie182, on 24 January 2012 - 10:04 AM, said:

I often think people are staring, but it turns out they're usually not, and if they do stare, I'm often told its out of curiosity. In fact, I'd bet that a lot of them are staring just to make sure you are actually disabled (if parked in a disabled bay). As soon as something more interesting comes up though, like a woman trying to reverse park, their attention is quickly withdrawn.

 Doodle, on 23 January 2012 - 07:58 PM, said:

It used to put me off! I never felt embarrassed as such! I don't mind having some one watch me. As Rue2you said people are just curious, and I too from time to time find myself making observations of people if Im sat waiting somewhere!

Over time a thicker skin is grown, and you turn a blind eye!

Stop Shouting!

I was going to argue I wasn't shouting as I haven't used caps, but were you referring to my over use of explanation marks? it seems to be my favourite punctuation. lol

I think he may have been anticipating reaction to the parking remark!

[wheelie182]

Oh I was referring to the exclamation marks

[The Black Sheep]

 A trophy guy, on 24 January 2012 - 07:52 AM, said:

I like having people watch me. Granted, I just have a fold-up but it still makes people stop what they are doing and stare as I get my chair out and get into it. I (feigning unawareness of their watching eyes) just do it in an especially fluid, seemless and impressive manner; just for them.

Ditto. When I know someone's watching I totally whip it in and out of the car like normal people jump into their pants. OK, that's a pretty terrible example, but I like when people watch too. Maybe I just like puffing up my chest in pride or something, but it's a difficult, unique task, and I do it easier than most AB people get in and out of a car.

[tbird33]

wait till someone tries to help you but u say no thanx,but they dont speak the same language as you so they help anyway

[Edinburgh Colin]

If someone tries to help either putting together or breaking down it does my head in. Things are not where you are used to and your routine is screwed. Also if someone builds it I'm paranoid the wheels are not locked, with good reason too from past experience!
EC

[Tinbasher]

Yup, I usually say that it would take longer to explain how to put it together than to do it myself. Like EC I worry about wheels not being fully engaged.

[plank]

 tbird33, on 26 January 2012 - 02:14 PM, said:

wait till someone tries to help you but u say no thanx,but they dont speak the same language as you so they help anyway

Welcome tbird33. Two years a member and your first post today.

Greybeard will be proud of you.

See you around the boards a bit more.

Plank

[greybeard]

 plank, on 27 January 2012 - 11:23 AM, said:

 tbird33, on 26 January 2012 - 02:14 PM, said:

wait till someone tries to help you but u say no thanx,but they dont speak the same language as you so they help anyway

Welcome tbird33. Two years a member and your first post today.

Greybeard will be proud of you.

See you around the boards a bit more.

Plank

I am. I am. Tbird33 .

[BoyFallDown]

Quick update, I've been driving for about a week now and, while I still feel like all eyes are on me, it's easier to deal with. I can tell I'll be over it eventually, i think it was just first day jitters.

[rue2you]

 BoyFallDown, on 28 January 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:

Quick update, I've been driving for about a week now and, while I still feel like all eyes are on me, it's easier to deal with. I can tell I'll be over it eventually, i think it was just first day jitters.

I still experience "first time" jitters for every new thing I have ever tried, from driving, to getting in and out of vehicles, and even down to new places I have never been (making sure it is accessible) and things like that.

One piece of advice I heard early on from a paraplegic was this - "Always push yourself beyond your comfort zone." I think that is SO wise! It is because of our jitters that we want to take the easy way and just not try. But to push ourself, is not comfortable but oh so profitable!

So, hats off to you buddy! Keep pushing beyond your jitters!!

[BoyFallDown]

 rue2you, on 28 January 2012 - 11:02 PM, said:

 BoyFallDown, on 28 January 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:

Quick update, I've been driving for about a week now and, while I still feel like all eyes are on me, it's easier to deal with. I can tell I'll be over it eventually, i think it was just first day jitters.

I still experience "first time" jitters for every new thing I have ever tried, from driving, to getting in and out of vehicles, and even down to new places I have never been (making sure it is accessible) and things like that.

One piece of advice I heard early on from a paraplegic was this - "Always push yourself beyond your comfort zone." I think that is SO wise! It is because of our jitters that we want to take the easy way and just not try. But to push ourself, is not comfortable but oh so profitable!

So, hats off to you buddy! Keep pushing beyond your jitters!!

Thanks

[richo]

 HiltonP, on 23 January 2012 - 04:46 PM, said:

Newsflash!..... Half of the folks staring at you are probably brain-dead, the other half are waiting for the next inane SMS to come through on their mobile phone, which probably makes them brain-dead as well. These days everyone is so self absorbed that they don't really give a damn about anyone else, so I wouldn't worry too much about those stares. They may be looking at you for a moment that once their mobile phones springs to life you will be forgotten in a heartbeat!.....

got a real thing for phones ay

[richo]

 Chococat, on 24 January 2012 - 04:41 PM, said:

 wheelie182, on 24 January 2012 - 10:04 AM, said:

As soon as something more interesting comes up though, like a woman trying to reverse park, their attention is quickly withdrawn.

Ooooh brave comment i love reverse parking btw!!!

yea its hard to tell if those cars ya drive with the bullbars on the front and back,are going forwards or backwards

[EVO]

after a while it wont bother you,that folk stare at you. i bet they prob thinking "you can drive" haha

i used to have a nissan r35 gtr,an would get many stopping to look at the car when i parked anywhere lol


best of all i like, is when im at the race track in my race car. more so when your passing everyone else,and they know your in a chair :-)