7 replies to this topic

[Vicky17]

Hi,

Just wanting a bit of advice please. My husband is C6/C7 complete, he has good arm movement but very little hand function (he cannot grip). We have a 2 year old and any minute now are about to have a new born. My question is probably more aimed a parents with this little function and whether people feel it is safe enough for my husband to look after our 2 year old on his own for a bit. I have left them whilst I went to get some food and felt fine but like all mums worry about safety especially choking! What are other peoples experiences? Also whilst my mum is extremely supportive and will give us all the help in the world she is a neurotic worrier and sometimes makes me feel that I dont care about my daughters safety enough to leave her with Gav as his is not AB, which then plays on my mind and I question whether we are making the right choice. I feel it is important for Gav (my husband) to be an equal parent (well as much as possible) but are we risking injury to our daughter. I haven't got the energy to argue with people who question our judgement but i am very short fused about it all the time. Please help, any advice is much appreciated.

Vicky

[AlaskaOne]

I would stay w/ my two year old granddaughter for a short while and feel competent enough, but I would really balk at anything more than that. Does he have easy access to a phone? Does he feel comfortable being left alone? Accidents often happen to children of AB's; accidents can certainly happen w/ sci's, but you and your husband should determine what you both feel is a safe environment for you children.

[edlee]

If you properly "childproof an area,, and have a way of keeping a two year old in it ( not an easy proposition),, I see nothing wrong with your husband doing guard duty. I am a para,, with fair upper body strength,, and I get a little worried when left to watch my two year old grandson,, but I have found that if I can confine him to the family room,, after all the stuff I don't want him messing with has been placed out of his reach,,we get along pretty well for a few hours.

They take, at this age, constant attention,,, but not usually much more. If he can interact verbally with the child,,, he should really have no trouble keeping him/her occupied for an hour or two, without you.

I think you need to work up to it gradually, tho,, with you in another room,, but available, to start. He needs to build up HIS confidence, too. He's probably as worried about it as any one.

You are going to have to work it out soon, anyway. Early congrats on the new addition to the family.
ed

[richo]

Vicky17, on 24 January 2012 - 07:06 AM, said:

Hi,

Just wanting a bit of advice please. My husband is C6/C7 complete, he has good arm movement but very little hand function (he cannot grip). We have a 2 year old and any minute now are about to have a new born. My question is probably more aimed a parents with this little function and whether people feel it is safe enough for my husband to look after our 2 year old on his own for a bit. I have left them whilst I went to get some food and felt fine but like all mums worry about safety especially choking! What are other peoples experiences? Also whilst my mum is extremely supportive and will give us all the help in the world she is a neurotic worrier and sometimes makes me feel that I dont care about my daughters safety enough to leave her with Gav as his is not AB, which then plays on my mind and I question whether we are making the right choice. I feel it is important for Gav (my husband) to be an equal parent (well as much as possible) but are we risking injury to our daughter. I haven't got the energy to argue with people who question our judgement but i am very short fused about it all the time. Please help, any advice is much appreciated.

Vicky

if gav feels cofident with his daughter, and abel too do the needs of the 2 year old......sweet.ihave a3 year old boy and he knows wats going on with me,like the kids pick up realy,realy fast wat they can and cannot do.good luck....and have fun

[wheeliebear75]

Have a few sippy cups of juice or milk in the fridge + a snack or 2 daddy CAN get to & open (OR the kid).

"Child-proof" the room(s) they'll be in.

Have them NOT watch their "favorite" movie or show for a few days prior to, & then their "favorite" show/movie goes from "Cool my favorite movie." to "OH BOY OH BOY! MY FAVORITE MOVIE!!!".

I'm mother of 4 but a para not a quad...which is why I didn't chime in sooner. But ed has given great advice.

[mellowgator]

i'm a c 6-7 mom of 2 and i was pregnant while in a wheelchair. i raised my girls just fine and if i can do it so can your husband.


mellowgator

[Vicky17]

Thank you for the advice. I think his main concern is not having a grip or great hand function and what implications that may cause. We will definitely try some of the suggestions made. Thank you very much again.

[Niceparalegs]

Hi! We have a 2 year old and we fenced in our large yard and basically filled it with safe toys. She can play there for hours while I watch with no probs. I can get 2 her if need be but never need to. Plus it wares her out. just use sunscreen.