13 replies to this topic

[Lucydog]

I KNOW people dont mean to get it wrong but my father in law and his wife, and also members of their side of the family say the the most uncomfortable of things to me. This week Ive had him telling me 'Im brave'. She has said they are 'praying for a miracle' and even my bro in law started telling me about his undying admiration for me etc etc...

They must think I have a really awful life or something... its hard to cope with and I feel horribly embarrassed and just say things like 'oh I dont know' as I dont want them to be offended or cause a problem in the family. Know what I mean?

Anyway I was having coffee in Carlisle with my mum today and we sat outside. I had to pop to the bank so said Id be 5 minutes. When I got back the 2 ladies had told her that I 'cope very well'. Yikes there is no hiding from such comments is there!!!!!

cheers
L

[Apparelyzed]

Other anoying comments include:

"You look well!"
"Everything happens for a reason"
"He's/She's so brave"
"When will you walk again?"
"I have a friend who's a cripple!"
"Don't worry, my friend hurt his back, and he can walk"
"I heard they can do all sorts with medical science these days"
"God will cure you, just have faith"
"Do you know Christopher Reeve?"

All the above have happened to me!

Simon

[rideemtxcowgirl]

people just dont think before they talk. maybe just maybe some of them will learn. but then we have idiots out their that just wont ever learn.

Edited by rideemtxcowgirl, 03 August 2006 - 11:24 PM.

[Tarkus]

People just don't know what to say, so they feel the need to say something.

I take none of it personally, they are just uncomfortable in a position that's rare or new to them.

I have found that over time they realize that I'm not "brave" nor do I "cope" etc. I kind of get a laugh at it and try to make them feel comfortable.

Then I tell them I knew Chris Reeves ........


Alan

Edited by Tarkus, 03 August 2006 - 11:28 PM.

[Carly/Kevin]

kevin tells me that he hates it when people say, "wow, i am glad to see that you are out" ... what do they expect that your supposed to stay in the house or something!?

[itsjustme]

Yeah, I really hate that one............"Glad to see you're out"..............never "I'm so glad to see you".......or just........"Happy to run into you"..............OUT...............OUT of where???...............the dungeon???...........the hole that I am sooooo unfortunate to have to live in now???............UPSET..........NO.......I'M NOT UPSET................I'M JUST SOOOOOOOO HAPPY TO BE OUT!!! ...................

[dancin' johnny]

My mate Burgess said he hates it when he comes round to my place at three in the afternoon and I am still in bed and he asks what I have been doing and I say, "nothing".

So when I turned up unanonunced at a nightclub with loads of steps at the only entrance, no access to the dancefloor, no toilet and overpriced drinks and shit music, he was genuinly happy to see me out.

If everybody realized the effort it takes to go out and have a good time sometimes they might be able to back up their surprise that you are not locked away in your house.

Burgess is safe though and one of the most helpfull and inquisitive friends that I have got helping me through this. We are going to a one day festival at the weekend and if he doesn't get up early on Sunday when we have to leave I shall use his reverse psychology back on him.

[Gary Anderson]

Over the past 18 odd years I have learned that people just do not know what to say. Let's face it, cast back your mind when you were an AB how many times were you in a situation where you did not know how to react? I know I have been there many's a time.

I am afraid that what has happened in my life, especially recently, has resulted in me not taking offence at what folk's say.


On a personal note - I have to agree with what some folk say - I think to overcome para/quad injuries does to a certain extent take some bravery. I know folk who are on constant medication because they cannot come to terms with their situation. Everyone is different.

Life is too short to bother what folk say - water off a proverbial duck's back.

Here's a question - how many of you will post on these boards, all clappy and jolly because Christmas is approaching? Asking what we will all be doing and how we will spend such a jolly holiday?

Think about it - very carefully.

REMEMBER - This year, for my family, Christmas is going to be extremely hard and a very difficult time as it is our first without Alan. However, I won't be posting about the horrors of what folk say - I shall pass over it and put it down to "human nature." Just because we will not be celebrating Christmas or New Year does mean that everyone else won't either.

[juls]

My sister told me the other day how 'slack and lazy' i was the other day because i wouldn't go shopping with her. the fact that it was freezing & raining was apparently just an excuse i was trying to use to get out of it! Obviously she's never had to deal with alot of pain before and takes it for granted that she can actually control her temperature!
I also hate; 'I don't know how you can sit on your bum and do nothing all day...it would kill me!'
' I think it's great that you don't wear wheelchair peoples clothing'??!! what the
the list goes on and on...................................

[butterfly]

Lucydog, on Aug 4 2006, 02:23 AM, said:

I KNOW people dont mean to get it wrong but my father in law and his wife, and also members of their side of the family say the the most uncomfortable of things to me. This week Ive had him telling me 'Im brave'. She has said they are 'praying for a miracle' and even my bro in law started telling me about his undying admiration for me etc etc...

They must think I have a really awful life or something... its hard to cope with and I feel horribly embarrassed and just say things like 'oh I dont know' as I dont want them to be offended or cause a problem in the family. Know what I mean?

Anyway I was having coffee in Carlisle with my mum today and we sat outside. I had to pop to the bank so said Id be 5 minutes. When I got back the 2 ladies had told her that I 'cope very well'. Yikes there is no hiding from such comments is there!!!!!

cheers
L

I have heard ALL of these and don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Another one I hate is "Lucky you, getting to relax and be pushed around all day".

[butterfly]

I replied to wrong post then oops.

[butterfly]

Apparelyzed, on Aug 4 2006, 03:25 AM, said:

Other anoying comments include:

"You look well!"
"Everything happens for a reason"
"He's/She's so brave"
"When will you walk again?"
"I have a friend who's a cripple!"
"Don't worry, my friend hurt his back, and he can walk"
"I heard they can do all sorts with medical science these days"
"God will cure you, just have faith"
"Do you know Christopher Reeve?"

All the above have happened to me!

Simon

Meant to reply to this.
I have heard ALL of these and don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Another one I hate is "Lucky you, getting to relax and be pushed around all day".

[Carly/Kevin]

butterfly, on Aug 4 2006, 08:02 AM, said:

Another one I hate is "Lucky you, getting to relax and be pushed around all day".

gee.. don't you with that is was just that easy

[jane]

I found if i am on my crutches people will come up and say 'oh, what have you done to your leg?', and you are expected to answer, but if i am in my chair they just smile sypathetically at me (which is really annoying).