12 replies to this topic

[keyka]

I am new to this forum,and I need an advice.
My brother is a quadriplegic since soon...and now when he is at home,he doesn't allow anyone to touch him ,exept me. When someone touch him ,he starts screaming and crying. He talked with psychiatrist,but it didn't help.
We hired a nurse,but the same..He doesn't want anyone,neither my father,nor our brother..
I can't be with him 24 hours a day.I want,but I cant't.
Please help me ,I don't know what to do.

[Irish Wheelz]

Why is it that he doesn't want to be touch by anyone but you? and more info on his sci would help as well.

[Aparr]

Welcome to the forum keyka! We are glad to have you with us!!

Yes, a bit more info would be of great help which will allow us to better give you our advice. Is it that others aren't able to care for him the way you do? Is it that he just doesn't want anyone else to touch him? Is his injury complete or incomplete?

As much info as you can give us about the injury itself will be of great help for us to be helpful!!

[Zack]

What SCI level is your brother? I am a C5 quadriplegic alone 16 hours a day! Your post sounds like your with him many hours a day.
Your brother might need more time to adjust to others helping him. It sure sounds like he has a close tight bond with you, that you might need to use some tough love to free him of, and allow others to help him.
Can you get your brother onto this site as a member to talk to some of us? I'm sure many would be willing to offer support to him.

[keyka]

He is c5 incomplete. He just doesn't want anyone else to touch him.Before the accident he lived with me and my boyfriend,and after that was in my father's home,but he rejected even to eat...I think he is depressed ,and need some time to get trough it,but I am just tired and I can't do everything by myself. Now I am at home with him,but I should get back to work soon.On the other hand ,when my boyfriend touch him,he just says "don't",and that's it,with no screaming .

Edited by keyka, 15 February 2012 - 07:55 AM.

[Irish Wheelz]

You gotta give him tough love. Even if it's leaving him in the care of others. You have to have a break from him and have some time for yourself. He needs to understand that. You being stress out while taking care of him is too much for the both of you. Just have a serious talk with him and let it steep into his head.

[keyka]

Well I should leave him with others for few hours,he need to understand me,but I don't think he will.I talked with him,but he didn't want to hear me .

[Tetracyclone]

You may have to endure some screaming fits while you stand there, letting others tend him. he is being cruelly selfish and must come to understand this.

Hang in there, Keyka.

[randomryan007]

how old is your brother?

[keyka]

Almost 22.

[qbounce]

You guys can get aids to help him through your NHS insurance.

From what I've seen through a very good friends posts on here, many of the ladies who work as carers are very easy on the eyes. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge . . . know what I mean?)

He can't complain about that?! It's in the best interest for BOTH of you to get him someone else to relieve you sometimes, because let's face it, this life isn't easy the first couple years. Setting up a decent routine that works for everyone is hard at first. But the sooner he realizes that you can't do this all by yourself, the easier it will be for him to accept other people, as an integral part, are necessary for his care.

[cdngrl]

Perhaps you could have someone "help" you helping him it may be a start for him to understand that maybe you can't do it all by yourself. It may make your brother either more independant or more comfortable with outside help.

[munkypoop]

It is very tough to have to rely on people for everything. And when one person does the things the best, in your opinion, that is the person you prefer to perform those tasks. It took me four years to finally accept that I need help for everything. And it still bums me out a lot, and it's been five years. But he needs to stretch and whatnot every single day! Otherwise, he will curl into a ball and any hopes of recovering will diminish the worse it gets! And being clean helps fight sickness and infections. When you are paralyzed your immune system is a ton weaker than before you became paralyzed. Find pictures of people who curl into a ball with their arms clenched to their chest and hands curled up and show him that he needs to let everyone stretch him every day or he will be like the pictures. Plus, eating helps recovering and fighting sickness! Remember, the body has to move as well, as you can get it like a normal person can bend. The more loose and movable the person is, the better for hopes as better therapy and technology comes, plus it will lessen the amount of spasms and pain as well. Just have a good talk with him, asking him to trust you and help you and himself!