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Depressed And Embarrassed (Just Venting Here, I'm Sorry)...




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#1 Wastingtime23

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 05:32 AM

I always get a sense of derealization when talking about my injury, because I feel as though it just couldn't have happened the way it did (breaking my neck on a small trampoline in the basement) it's just completely bizarre and doesn't seem real to even accept. That's just ridiculous.. how the hell does that even happen, I don't think anyone has ever become paralyzed doing such a 'benign' thing before. I always feel as though the paralysis is temporary because of this for some reason and I'm going to go back to just the way I was before and that this whole thing is just a dream or I'm really in a coma or something (see what I mean about the derealization).

Obviously this feeds into a very poor acceptance process and probably explains why I'm sort of 'stuck' in life in a dormant phase (I've just stayed home since then, didn't decide to go back to my crappy community college) and I feel as though the way things are now I have no future (well at least not a very good one) especially in a disabled body. I've gone back into depression again, even flirting with suicide thoughts and scenarios, I honestly thought my mental state was getting better a few months ago.. now I've just regressed again. One of the most potent emotions I deal with is embarrassment over people seeing me paralyzed - that sounds really shallow but that's simply what echoes through my mind constantly, overwhelming embarrassment. I feel disgusted with my self and some times barely feel human over being disabled, I'm sorry if that seems offensive but it's just my screwy emotions talking here - I actually regarded people with disabilities before when I was normal (well normal as free of disability) as sort of 'lesser citizens' so maybe that's possibly why I'm experiencing these feelings of repulsion over the physical state over my body (and possibly getting a dose of Karma).

Well that's just simply me venting, don't know what else to say.

#2 Zack

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 06:10 AM

Older Man in rehab broke his neck closing his car door while standing on an icy driveway. He said "I pushed the door to shut it and my feet went out from under me, I landed flat on my back breaking my neck!"
That sounded Ridicous to me. I'm sure people have in crazier ways!

Stay Strong !!!
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#3 Ratticis

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 06:24 AM

Well welcome to Gimptopia, where nobody needs to feel guilty about doing something stupid, like, say slipping in the shower and rupturing your bowels and then not going to the hopical until a week later when you wak up unable to move from the chest down and then having multiple botched surgeries because apparently doctors "know everything about everything" and you're just a total dumb f*** who doesn't have a clue what happened to you because it's not likeyou were there or anything then they tottally f*** up an end up having 3 feet of intestine left after they tell your parents you've got maybe a 5% chance of living through the night (if you're lucky), plus a PT that breaks your femer for you and eventually 19 surgeries later you're still in a virtual living hell because because you're surrounded by morons and douchebags and you just need to scream untill your lungs explode! . . . or something like that . . . .

Anyways, you've found the best site around to vent on (usually). Don't worry, plently of us are sitting down as the result of a dumb decision . . . or ninjas! It was probably thsoe damn ninjas fault. ######s! And who cares what other people think? Really, at the end of the day there's one person whos opinion matters, and the're hiding in the mirror. And I say karma is bullshit, there's too many assholes walking around for that crap to be true.
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#4 NegativeEntropy

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 06:39 AM

I robbed a bank and the cops were notified and on their way. So I grabbed a hostage, got in my car and took off. The high-speed chase lasted for almost two hours. Eventually they barricaded me in and the chase ended. I used my car and the hostage for cover and a gunfight broke out. I took down two cops before one of them shot me in the arm which distracted me just enough for them to make their move for the hostage. I knew it was over, but they didn't. They kept shooting and I got shot in the neck which paralyzed me at C5.

Ok, I hit a small rock on a motorcycle and wrecked. *sigh*

Edited by NegativeEntropy, 12 September 2012 - 06:56 AM.

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#5 doublelibra

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:05 AM

All I can say, Wastingtime is that I can relate. I should know better, have acceptance, etc..etc...etc, but I don't. I get very sick of certain aspects of my life, but othrs make it worth living. One is just my curiosity to see what happens next in this crazy world.

I'm ashamed to say that I avoided disabled people before I became disabled, because I didn't know how to act around them. I'm generally a rather avoidant person, taking the easier way out. I actually have avoided this group lately because I'd rather try to pretend to not be disabled, in a sense. I hang out with non-disabled people.

I always thought other people became disabled, NOT ME! But I am. I had a rather humdrum car accident, wearing no seat belt.

I must say the dumbest and worst way to become quadriplegic I have ever heard was told to me by a nurse. Some drunk guy was trying to be funny by driving a Big Wheel off a picnic table. That's it. Unbelievable.

I do bitch here occasionally, and people are just about all supportive.

Edited by doublelibra, 12 September 2012 - 08:06 AM.


#6 Tatiana

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:15 AM

Welcome.....

I had a friend in rehab who did the same, he was playing around on a trampoline and did a flip, is now C5..he has a little movement in one arm but thats basically it.

He was part of our goin the pub group (only for purposes of rehab of course lol) and i plied him with many a shot (willingly of course).... :mellow:
I know this is besides the point but we had fun...he had fun and many a laugh.


Everyone has this to go through....the depressing realisation that physically your life is so different now and everyone handles it differently.

Dont let SCI define everything you are.....find strength and give it the mental, proverbial kick in the ass it deserves....otherwise it will keep you down in a place that isnt healthy and wont help you.

Edited by Tatiana, 12 September 2012 - 08:16 AM.


#7 Parachute

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:33 AM

Just to let you know, I have met someone who broke his neck while sitting on a wall eating fish & chips. He fell backwards. Not sure why he fell though.

Parachute

#8 Ratticis

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:55 AM

One of the roomates I had in rehab dove off a second story balcony into the shallow end of a swimming pool while drunk.

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#9 anomiepete

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 09:49 AM

I think this is a situation many of us have been in Wastingtime. I can remember my first feelings of seeing myself in a wheelchair and looking so different (belly, yet thinner everywhere else etc). And then when going out the feeling that everyone is staring at me and that I was clumsy and slow.

Why not start small and make a plan to do little things - but do something - each week. Eg wheel down the street and back; go to a shop; have a coffee in a shop etc? You've really only got three choices: stay as you are; make the best of what you have or end it. If you ever think of the last option all I can say is that I did but didn't follow through and then ended up having some great times.

Good luck.

#10 Aparr

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 10:29 AM

Welcome to the forum!

Glad you shared your feelings. Sometimes that makes us feel better and never be sorry for venting here, that's what we are here for. Glad you're here with us!
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#11 greybeard

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 11:09 AM

Hiya Wastingtime. Welcome to the forum. It's the only place where you scream the roof down about the unfairness of it all to folk who totally understand.

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day;  Rage, rage against the dying of the light" 

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#12 Crip

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 12:12 PM

I tripped over the garden path, how f****** bizarre is that? keep on venting and get it all out, i did mine a long time ago. :hug:
The cashier said: "strip down, facing me." How was I supposed to know she meant my debit card?

#13 plank

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 12:34 PM

I passed out and fell off the toilet. True story. How embarrassing is that? I thought of telling the story about trying to jump out of the bedroom window when her husband came home unexpectantly but .... nah.
Wastingtime, you are not wasting your time letting it all out to us. We understand and empathise. When no one else understands - come in and talk it over here amongst friends. :hug:
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The above post, like many of my posts is probably dripping in sarcasm and may be an attempt at humour.  I f you begin to feel offended by it then please accept my apology, ignore it and move on, I never set out to offend anyone.  My outlook on life is sunny and I endeavour to bring sunshine into the lives of all around me including you.  Here's a smiley for you.   :)


#14 dancin' johnny

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 01:12 PM

Welcome Wastingtime. Don't kill yourself, you seem a very self aware person. Knowing what your problems are is step towards doing something about them. If you are embarrassed by yourself you still don't like disabled people so joining this forum was a good move. I'm not saying you are going to love us all but you will see how human we are.
How does it feel to feel?

#15 qbounce

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 01:37 PM

Skydiving? Hummm . . . . . nope, overdone.
I like the bank robbery story, but NE obviously has that one down.
I was in a bounce house, jumper castle . . . . call it what you will.

You and I are in the same boat, wastingtime, regarding our SCI's. And like you, I to feel like this state of being is a temporary one for some reason.

It's a crazy notion I have, but before my injury I was in a kind of rut in my life. I hit the ceiling in my job, salary wise, but on a high note. I was also in a lifeless marriage with to many issues to list here. I felt that there had to be a new challenge for me waiting in the wings. Boy, did i ever get what I asked for, and that's how I've accepted this new state of being, as a challenge.

I feel like it's easier for me to cope with in way because I still see it as a temporary state that I must excel at before going back to normal. In this way, I haven't accepted my life like this either. I choose to view it as a living chapter, if you will, in which I must reach my very best and highest before hitting another ceiling. And then, maybe I'll reinvent myself once again.
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#16 Wastingtime23

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 03:09 PM

Welcome Wastingtime. Don't kill yourself, you seem a very self aware person. Knowing what your problems are is step towards doing something about them. If you are embarrassed by yourself you still don't like disabled people so joining this forum was a good move. I'm not saying you are going to love us all but you will see how human we are.


I'd never ever have the balls to actually kill myself.... seriously, I'm too ambivalent. I can 'flirt' with these little thoughts and imagine all kinds of scenarios but I can never actually act on it. I'm actually terrified to die (I always have been) I just want to get away from this 'cripple life' somehow because it's not who I was ever meant to be (how arrogant does that sound) so obviously this isn't the life I want so I sort of reject the thought of me living - that's why I'm stuck like I said before, dormant.

Oh God where to start on the embarrassment - I don't think anyone on this forum is as embarrassed of themselves as I am, to the same degree. If I catch my reflection in public (I'm talking a full body mirror) I literally freak out.. and want to leave the store, because I realize how ridiculous I look.

I had such a terrible attitude towards disability before (and I guess I still do) I remember back in 2006 in tenth grade I enrolled in this alternative education-extra credit program as I had missed a lot of school because of my own stupidity (smoking pot all day with friends) as well with my best friend who came with me. Anyway it was a small class, only about 8 students and there was this paraplegic guy that was there (who was sort of the popular one) I remember having to actually leave one day when it was just him, me and the teacher early in the morning (before anyone else had showed up) because he made me so uncomfortable. I remember saying to my friend, who wanted him to come to her house and smoke weed with us that ''I'm not going to be around that f*cking cripple, If he comes I'm taking off'' blah blah bah. I was such a ######, this is what I mean about me getting my Karma, had such a lowly regard for disabled people in general I thought I was always *above* becoming one.

#17 Tiggz

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 03:42 PM

I recieved my inury opening a shutting the downstairs toilet door. (after I had been for a wee thank ######!)

dropped me to the floor, agonizing pain and thats the last time I felt my left leg. since then the bones grind and crunch and other things have happened like starting to loose feeling in my other leg. and everything affected across like prostate (not recomended)

I am classed as moderatly depressed, yet when i was prescribed amitripiline as a happy pill, it gave me suicidal thoughts....

but as above, soldier on, ride the highs and work through the lows. Even buying my wheelchair gave me a boost, or attending the paralympic games!

I am medically crippled like almost everyone in a wheelchair. Doesnt mean my brain dont still work ;)

#18 Tetracyclone

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 04:32 PM

Wastingtime,
it sounds like you have had a wee problem wasting time since before you got hurt. You face the same challenge as before to make something of your life. Think about it: can you bare to live dormant for 40 years? Don't you think you might feel even more foolish then for wasting the opportunity to have a life?

(Incidentally, if you read this forum long you will notice people who are crippled BECAUSE the tried to commit suicide. The attempt really can make things worse!)

The foks who invented the concept of Karma also say that if you avoid a challenge it will be there to welcome you in the next life. We do not actually escape by hiding. The feelings you describe are real, including the panic attacks when you see your image. Many of us have remotions that ambush us and with which we have no clue how to proceed, or to move through them and learn to live. These are the things that counseling can help with. It is what counselors ar for. The process works if you apply yourself. I suspect you have suffered an emotional disability for a long time.

Learning to cope with one's emotions is particularly difficult for people who started using drugs at a young age. Those years are the one's in which we are meant to learn to cope with emotions; to manage them and to channel them into productive energy for LIFE.
Using weed or other things means you learned to cope by escaping, so if you want to have a life you you have to unlearn that mechanism (which is now "hiding"?) and learn something different. The process is extremely uncomfortable, but it can be done by taking it in manageable doses- one little act of courage at a time. I wish you luck with it because it takes a lot of effort and committment. IT CAN BE DONE.

Remember that the more one practices avoiding life, the deeper the habit. The more efforts one puts into living, the easier it becomes. For instance, acute embarrassment and shame become familiar- "OK, I know this, it will pass." Eventually you find you are not very embarrassed.

Right now you are on the road to remaining the worst sort of cripple- a whiney one who expects others to feed and cloth her- a child forever: Your choice.

I hope you will seek a good counselor, and if the first one does not help, look further.
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#19 Wastingtime23

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 05:20 PM

Wastingtime,
it sounds like you have had a wee problem wasting time since before you got hurt. You face the same challenge as before to make something of your life. Think about it: can you bare to live dormant for 40 years? Don't you think you might feel even more foolish then for wasting the opportunity to have a life?

(Incidentally, if you read this forum long you will notice people who are crippled BECAUSE the tried to commit suicide. The attempt really can make things worse!)

The foks who invented the concept of Karma also say that if you avoid a challenge it will be there to welcome you in the next life. We do not actually escape by hiding. The feelings you describe are real, including the panic attacks when you see your image. Many of us have remotions that ambush us and with which we have no clue how to proceed, or to move through them and learn to live. These are the things that counseling can help with. It is what counselors ar for. The process works if you apply yourself. I suspect you have suffered an emotional disability for a long time.

Learning to cope with one's emotions is particularly difficult for people who started using drugs at a young age. Those years are the one's in which we are meant to learn to cope with emotions; to manage them and to channel them into productive energy for LIFE.
Using weed or other things means you learned to cope by escaping, so if you want to have a life you you have to unlearn that mechanism (which is now "hiding"?) and learn something different. The process is extremely uncomfortable, but it can be done by taking it in manageable doses- one little act of courage at a time. I wish you luck with it because it takes a lot of effort and committment. IT CAN BE DONE.

Remember that the more one practices avoiding life, the deeper the habit. The more efforts one puts into living, the easier it becomes. For instance, acute embarrassment and shame become familiar- "OK, I know this, it will pass." Eventually you find you are not very embarrassed.

Right now you are on the road to remaining the worst sort of cripple- a whiney one who expects others to feed and cloth her- a child forever: Your choice.

I hope you will seek a good counselor, and if the first one does not help, look further.


You just hit he nail on the head, you decoded a lot of my situation pretty damn accurately. Yes, I am without doubt emotionally immature and my coping strategies are really really poor.. virtually non existent (I'm just now, well in the last few months figuring that out). I know exactly the road I'm going down, and I really am disgusted with myself by it.. I know it's wrong to act this way (as in I can't keep avoiding life forever) and I am turning into an 'adult child' (even more so) and everybody hates it, especially me. I only remain in 'hiding' because I don't want to deal with 'life in the real world' as a disabled person.

I know there's something not entirely 'right' with me in the first place, it has been two years since the injury and I have made ZERO emotional progress, I'm really starting to wonder now if there's an underlying mood or emotional disorder - seriously.

#20 brockit79

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 05:27 PM

Hey,

No apology necessary. I used to feel embarrassment for around the 1st 18 months but I always ploughed on despite those feelings. I now go out and wheel along with my head held high. You have acknowledged that you are struggling with acceptance which could be the 1st step in dealing with that. Don't hide away, I used to tell myself that all of the time.

Confidence and acceptance grew as I gained more and more independence.

Edited by brockit79, 12 September 2012 - 05:27 PM.

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#21 Pieter

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 06:42 PM

Wastingtime,

​I don't know why it is that we with SCI feel embarrassed by our bodies, and what other people think of us, we get ourselves worked up into a knot, with the result that we end up seeing therapists and what not. You are not the only one feeling like this, as you can see from all the responses from the forum members, we all have been there, and it is still there in the back of the mind.

So what do you do to change this? Stuff the people let them look and think what they want, we are the ones in the wheelchair and we know that we are normal, we just have one advantage, where ever we go we don't need to find a seat, the AB will have to stand if all the seats are taken.

As Ratticis logo says " My legs don't work, but I don't care, I get the best parking spot anywhere.

#22 Tetracyclone

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 10:49 PM

Wastingtime-

I've been around a long time and so seen a lot. You said:



"I know there's something not entirely 'right' with me in the first place, it has been two years since the injury and I have made ZERO emotional progress, I'm really starting to wonder now if there's an underlying mood or emotional disorder - seriously. "


There may be. Few of us are free of problems when we get injured. I know I always had a penchant for depression so when I get depressed it is hardly fair to blame it all on being a quad. Nothing moves a problem toward solution more quickly than getting accurate words on it, and that is why it can be helpful to talk to someone outside our lives about it. It sounds as though you are struggling toward change. Give yourself credit for that and continue to inch yourself forward.

Edited by Tetracyclone, 12 September 2012 - 10:51 PM.

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#23 Wastingtime23

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 11:57 PM

All I can say, Wastingtime is that I can relate. I should know better, have acceptance, etc..etc...etc, but I don't. I get very sick of certain aspects of my life, but othrs make it worth living. One is just my curiosity to see what happens next in this crazy world.

I'm ashamed to say that I avoided disabled people before I became disabled, because I didn't know how to act around them. I'm generally a rather avoidant person, taking the easier way out. I actually have avoided this group lately because I'd rather try to pretend to not be disabled, in a sense. I hang out with non-disabled people.

I always thought other people became disabled, NOT ME! But I am. I had a rather humdrum car accident, wearing no seat belt.

I must say the dumbest and worst way to become quadriplegic I have ever heard was told to me by a nurse. Some drunk guy was trying to be funny by driving a Big Wheel off a picnic table. That's it. Unbelievable.

I do bitch here occasionally, and people are just about all supportive.




Oh God yes I completely relate! you sound so close to me in how you think. I'm just resistant to accept the disability (I can't even say *my*) because of my personality - unlike most people who have been injured in the same length of time I have (over 2 years) and seem to have moved on to the acceptance phase and are making the most of their life in a wheelchair. I on the other hand just fall deeper into an expanding hole of denial, like you I like to pretend I'm not disabled either and have done so in the past after I was injured to stay faaaar away from the disabled community (I'm shocked I actually decided to post here) because I didn't want to morph into one of them and admit any type of acceptance.

#24 wheeliebear75

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 03:52 AM

I dislocated 11 vertebra + got a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) & all I did was stand in line. Got TO THE RESTAURANT just fine....go to stand in line.....WHAM! Dislocated C2-3,C6-7, T2-3, T6-8, L2-3.....and L2 has the dubious "honor" of being both dislocated AND broken.....still trying to figure out if it's an overachiever OR underachiever. :tease:

:poo: happens & you're a far cry from the oddest injury I've heard. :lol:
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#25 tinamarie

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 04:17 AM

haven't read all the posts in this thread, but it looks definitely like one to come back to when i have more time. Early on in my acute rehab, I threw a little hissy fit with my therapists, and yelled "I don't want to be a stinky old disabled person!!!!" Looking back I feel a little embarrassed that I said that.

#26 CarylAnne

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 04:47 PM

I can totally understand feeling embarrassed. I've become sooo reclusive the longer I've been in the wheelchair, I just can't stand feeling like everyone is staring at me -- the "freak". It's like no one sees me anymore, just the wheelchair. I would guess that everyone here has felt the things you're feeling at least once in their experiences. Don't ever apologize for expressing how you're feeling. I'm new here, and I came here to try and find people that understood what all this was like and to possibly make me feel not so alone, to help me accept who I am and focus on what I have not just obsess over what I've lost.
When you are in those moments of anguish and hopelessness, think about people that are really deformed, suffering or impoverished; people who are in worse situations than you. They go on living every day and would wish they had things easier. There's always someone in a better situation than you, but there are just as many people in worse situations than you too. You're on a special path, unique to you, your story matters and is a story that's never been told before and if you feel like talking more, I'd love to hear it.
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XOXO
Caryl Anne

#27 SSG.Bridges

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 07:07 PM

Wasting Time,
I have to say I have been where you are and it's very hard it took me 8 years to finally start to live life again and accept that I am disabled and in a chair. It is one of those things that has no time frame we just have to keep pushing forward and fighting to be who we want to be even though we are in a chair and disabled. Once you can be comfortable with yourself everything else will become better as well. I wish you the best of luck. You are a lot stronger than you may believe it takes great courage and strength to let others know you are feeling this way and letting people help in ways they can.

SSG.RTBridges


#28 Rabaa

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 09:16 PM

I robbed a bank and the cops were notified and on their way. So I grabbed a hostage, got in my car and took off. The high-speed chase lasted for almost two hours. Eventually they barricaded me in and the chase ended. I used my car and the hostage for cover and a gunfight broke out. I took down two cops before one of them shot me in the arm which distracted me just enough for them to make their move for the hostage. I knew it was over, but they didn't. They kept shooting and I got shot in the neck which paralyzed me at C5.

Ok, I hit a small rock on a motorcycle and wrecked. *sigh*


You got me looooooooool kept thinking how come he is out of jail :recourse:

#29 Wastingtime23

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Posted 17 September 2012 - 11:43 PM

I can totally understand feeling embarrassed. I've become sooo reclusive the longer I've been in the wheelchair, I just can't stand feeling like everyone is staring at me -- the "freak". It's like no one sees me anymore, just the wheelchair. I would guess that everyone here has felt the things you're feeling at least once in their experiences. Don't ever apologize for expressing how you're feeling. I'm new here, and I came here to try and find people that understood what all this was like and to possibly make me feel not so alone, to help me accept who I am and focus on what I have not just obsess over what I've lost.
When you are in those moments of anguish and hopelessness, think about people that are really deformed, suffering or impoverished; people who are in worse situations than you. They go on living every day and would wish they had things easier. There's always someone in a better situation than you, but there are just as many people in worse situations than you too. You're on a special path, unique to you, your story matters and is a story that's never been told before and if you feel like talking more, I'd love to hear it.


Honest to God, thank you for your reply - out of all the ones I got on this thread yours 'got through' to me the most for some reason. I remember long before the SCI when I was in my early teens and used to complain about how sh*tty my life was coming from a single parent home, being fairly poor and having to do community service ect. I had a close friend once tell me one day 'that no matter how hard I felt my life was and how great my suffering was there was always another person that had it several times worse than me out
there'. Which is basically right - just as you were saying.

Yeah the embarrassment causes me quite a bit of anxiety, but I'm sure most of it comes from my previously held vanity - which I have to let go of if I'm ever going to get over it, if you know what I mean. It's just really, really hard to get to the acceptance phase you know, you have to fight through so many emotions; uphill battle.

I can totally understand feeling embarrassed. I've become sooo reclusive the longer I've been in the wheelchair, I just can't stand feeling like everyone is staring at me -- the "freak". It's like no one sees me anymore, just the wheelchair. I would guess that everyone here has felt the things you're feeling at least once in their experiences. Don't ever apologize for expressing how you're feeling. I'm new here, and I came here to try and find people that understood what all this was like and to possibly make me feel not so alone, to help me accept who I am and focus on what I have not just obsess over what I've lost.
When you are in those moments of anguish and hopelessness, think about people that are really deformed, suffering or impoverished; people who are in worse situations than you. They go on living every day and would wish they had things easier. There's always someone in a better situation than you, but there are just as many people in worse situations than you too. You're on a special path, unique to you, your story matters and is a story that's never been told before and if you feel like talking more, I'd love to hear it.


Honest to God, thank you for your reply - out of all the ones I got on this thread yours 'got through' to me the most for some reason. I remember long before the SCI when I was in my early teens and used to complain about how sh*tty my life was coming from a single parent home, being fairly poor and having to do community service ect. I had a close friend once tell me one day 'that no matter how hard I felt my life was and how great my suffering was there was always another person that had it several times worse than me out
there'. Which is basically right - just as you were saying.

Yeah the embarrassment causes me quite a bit of anxiety, but I'm sure most of it comes from my previously held vanity - which I have to let go of if I'm ever going to get over it, if you know what I mean. It's just really, really hard to get to the acceptance phase you know, you have to fight through so many emotions; uphill battle.

#30 Big D

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 01:03 AM

I know you said you want to stay far away from the disabled community, but getting involved might help you. Most places have some sort of SCI group where crippled people get together and talk. Myself, I'm not a big fan of the talking, so I play sports. I'm not sure how much function you have as a C7, but playing sports can help you feel more confident and you will be around people that have a similar situation to yourself. I know they have hockey for people in powerchairs. Does that not sound fun?
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Gimpin' ain't easy.



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