244 replies to this topic

[Apparelyzed]

Ten things never to say to a disabled person

1. "It's OK, I know how to deal with you, I've worked with the disabled."

2. "Is your partner disabled too?"

3. "So, what's up with you?"

4. "If I became disabled I think I'd kill myself."

5. "I saw this great thing on Tomorrow's World that could help you ..."

6. "There's a disabled woman lives down my street. I see her going past sometimes."

7. "Wait there ..."

8. "It must be nice to get out and about."

9. "I think you're really brave."

10. "I really admire you."

[crash]

Its quite a balancing act itsnt it? I find that talking to other disabled people. In a sense its kinda hard to blame people for stupid remarks when I'm disabled and I have to make sure I don't say anything rude or stupid.
Then again, some people are beyond help in their stupidity

[Avocado Baby]

I really hate it when people tell me I'm brave!!

[Dancingdolphin]

Yeah........even just reading through them gets the pulse rate speeding..........

if anybody else says they 'admire' me think I'll have to be strapped down......

[livewriter]

TELL ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY FUC^*ED UP THING TO HEAR IS:::


IS THAT YOU'RE NURSE?

[milosh]

amigo, mi mejor tambien! ;)

[ruth]

Or 'How does your husband cope with you and the children?!' Grrr when someone says that, I dont even digify it with a response.

I also hate being brave and admired, dont they realise I have no choice?

[Lucky]

If I had £1 for every person who's said " What you done to your leg ? " I'd be rich !

[juls]

"i wish i got to sit on my arse all day" i'm always speechless (which is rare!) when people say this to me.....yeah i just love sitting on my arse....ALL...THE ..TIME!

[Joed]

I don't like being told I'm brave either. I was told that all my childhood and it only confused me and prevented me from sharing what I was really feeling at the time. My Dad's side of the family has made me into some kind of a poster child and I hate it. The truth is, they don't really know me, nor do they know what I contend with on a daily basis...they never see me when I'm being 'not brave' and downright defeated.

I think I've told this following story before here, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself. On a trip to Alabama to visit relatives, we had attended a church...afterwards I met the pastor, who asked me "what happened to your leg?" So I puke out my well-rehearsed story, after which he seemed to struggle with what to say next. He finally sputters out, "Well....uh....you know....there's a little gal over in...uh...***** county....and well....uh....well, she's crippled too". I thought he was going to expand on that, but it seems that that was all he wanted to say about the subject. I wasn't quite sure how to respond. The thought occurred to me to say, "Oh, then I must surely know her, as we crippled folks have a club, you know".

[debs]

I hope you're not drink driving in that.

You know theres a speed limit along here don't you?

There's a man who lives down the road from me and every single time we pass him he says the thing about the speed limit, it wasn't funny the first time.....

[juls]

We have a friend who's a cop who told me very seriously one night that i COULD get done for drink driving say what???? How on earth was i supposed to get home....do people get done for drink 'walking'! The way i push i am hardly a danger to anyone..including myself

[milosh]

BTW, sweden has got such a low prohibiting heavily drunken people walk. ;) if you walk in that condition, they even take your driving license.

[juls]

Amazing!!!!

[bambam]

Or ... my personal favorite:

"I have a friend that was paralyzed, but they never gave up! They worked really hard every day ... and after 3 months they were walking again!"

I had a lady who was wearing glasses tell me that. So I told her I used to wear glasses and that I was able to get rid of them by trying to see harder!

[crash]

bambam, on Sep 15 2006, 03:27 AM, said:

Or ... my personal favorite:

"I have a friend that was paralyzed, but they never gave up! They worked really hard every day ... and after 3 months they were walking again!"

I had a lady who was wearing glasses tell me that. So I told her I used to wear glasses and that I was able to get rid of them by trying to see harder!

[Joed]

bambam, on Sep 15 2006, 03:27 AM, said:

I had a lady who was wearing glasses tell me that. So I told her I used to wear glasses and that I was able to get rid of them by trying to see harder!

Oh, that's rich! I'll have to remember that one.

[jane]

Lucky, on Sep 12 2006, 12:37 PM, said:

If I had £1 for every person who's said " What you done to your leg ? " I'd be rich !

yep i get that one too.


jane

[Airdna]

What about when people talk to your able bodied standing partner over you, and blank the person in the wheelchair.

I am abled bodied and have mastered the art of taking a back seat and not catching people's eye so that they talk to my partner instead of me.

I find it very rude!

[juls]

Oh i hate it when that happens!!! Even when i'm buying make-up i've had shop assistants ask my bf what foundation/lipstick i use...he'll look at me and say 'i don't know, what foundation do you use julie??' normally theu're quite embarrased BUT they never appologise.
My 2 friends were shopping together and my friend (who happens to be aboriginal) asked the shop assistant a question and the assistant looked at my white friend and answered the question, refusing to look at my black friend!

[Lucky]

jane, on Sep 15 2006, 07:59 AM, said:

Lucky, on Sep 12 2006, 12:37 PM, said:

If I had £1 for every person who's said " What you done to your leg ? " I'd be rich !

yep i get that one too.


jane

Itake it you walk and 1 leg is better than the other ?

[livewriter]

How about "Does he want ? with that?" What would he like to drink.

My wife's reply "ASK HIM HE'S NOT DEAF"

[cdngrl]

I get that all the time so I start singing really loud so they have to notice me.

[deb]

my god all that must be so annoying but just from the other perspective my mother has parkinsons and hates to ask for help so if she is struggling with something i have to step in or trouble.

on the other hand i have to wait to be asked by my rugby mates so it is really difficult to go from one mindset to another. so - if i get it wrong .......... sorry

[juls]

deb, on Sep 20 2006, 03:07 AM, said:

my god all that must be so annoying but just from the other perspective my mother has parkinsons and hates to ask for help so if she is struggling with something i have to step in or trouble.

on the other hand i have to wait to be asked by my rugby mates so it is really difficult to go from one mindset to another. so - if i get it wrong .......... sorry

I know what you mean my grandfather was blind, so we helped him out all the time and he was fine with that, but one day my sister and i were at the train station we noticed a blind man struggling to get on the train so we went to give him a hand...and he started hitting us with his walking stick
So yes, everyone is different

[htwhlz97]

I do get alot of comments also but the ones that get me are "But your so pretty" like beauty is supposed to ward off any accidents or make a difference, or its only supposed to happen to ugly people (if theres such a thing) what kinda crap is that?

Or If that were me I wouldve killed myself. So you think my life is that bad and miserable and you havent even rolled a mile in my chair to experience what I see as a wonderful life.
Some people............

[CaptDave4499]

you could add "you're lucky you get to ride instead of walk"

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[juls]

htwhlz97, on Sep 26 2006, 01:40 AM, said:

I do get alot of comments also but the ones that get me are "But your so pretty" like beauty is supposed to ward off any accidents or make a difference, or its only supposed to happen to ugly people (if theres such a thing) what kinda crap is that?

Or If that were me I wouldve killed myself. So you think my life is that bad and miserable and you havent even rolled a mile in my chair to experience what I see as a wonderful life.
Some people............

I get told by people 'that i'm just lucky i have my looks'?? Does that make being in a wheelchair easier!!??
Or 'isn't it nice that you dress like a normal person!'

[Joed]

"Oh, so you can do that yourself?"....after stating that I'm off to do whatever.

"Actually, no I can't....I just thought I'd place myself at risk and provide entertainment for the rest of you."

[Lucydog]

This w/e and elderly relative said to me...

" So do you sit in it all day, or do you get up and have a little walk around a bit?"


Yes OF COURSE Im sitting here because Im just too bone idle to walk around. What am I thinking of?