[kate42]

I got one of those shirts recently that says, "Maybe if you keep staring, I'll do a trick." Usually makes the starers stop staring.

[rkzenrage]

buffie, on Oct 12 2008, 04:06 AM, said:

I was told I was not a good person and God put me in the wheelchair.

I've gotten that one and that all I had to do to get better is to ask god and believe.
I tell them I'll buy it when I see an amputated limb spontaneously grow back, until then no reason to buy it.

[Nickleblue]

<~ guilty of NO: 7 "wait there....." when cueing for coffee...im thinking i gotta give her a book to read or a letter to sign or "something"....everytime we are out for a coffee shes looking around bored stupid (shes bored - im stupid!)...."wait there i wont be a min".....

[Scooby Gimp]

"I know how you feel."

[tom71uk]

Scooby Gimp, on Jan 10 2009, 10:55 PM, said:

"I know how you feel."

[edlee]

I think,,, mostly,,, all of the " I know"s

I know how you feel,,,,,,I know how hard it is,,,,, I know what you mean,,,,,

NO,,,, If you're AB, you DON'T KNOW,,, all you can do is guess,,,, unless, of course, you happen to be a mind reader,,,, which you aren't or you wouldn't have said it.
ed

[snowqueeneh]

My spouse (Paul) is a c5/c6 complete for just over a month now. I have been reading everything on this site... I mean "EVERYTHING". This tread is very interesting. I remind him that we had no idea of SCI before this happened. We are both still in shock that "it happend to us". My mother is always saying "poor Paul" and the nurses talk to me right in front of him like he is not even there. I already see a lot of this stuff. I tell Paul that we have the same feelings about everything. I worry about him giving up & he worries about me getting worn out (we have to little boys too). We made a deal today to try and stop worrying about eachother. I tell him that he always had me before this... he just didn't notice it as much as he does now (c;

[qbounce]

Welcome snowqueen!
Good you found this site so early on. I learned things the hard way through trial and error before gaining first-hand knowledge from others here who had already dealt with these experiences.

[Manda]

Now my stepdad and i have this joke
i say get me a drink and he says get it yourself are you cripple,
I'm waiting for someone to yell at him or hit him,
(he would do anything for me)

This post has been edited by Manda: 13 January 2009 - 01:26 AM

[Scribbler]

I've had lots of strange things said to me over the years, but like Nichole, It doesn't really bother me. I just feel sad that those people are so ignorant and don't realise what they say.

The only ones who annoy me are the religous nuts who make patronising remarks or want to cure me. When they ask what happened to me I soon scare them away by saying, "I fell out of a Brothel window"; it leaves them speachless...

The things that amuse me are the remarks from little kids. "Look at that poor man in a wheel barrow mummy"... The poor mum going bright red and tryng to get away fast. It just makes me smile.

Another time their were 2 little boys playing when they saw my wife pushing me. They looked for a moment, then in a loud voice one said, "That poor man has broken his legs". The other boy replied, "No he hasn't, he's just very old"... I was 25 at the time, but it really cracked me up...

I love kids saying things as they are so honest, but they accept my chair quite naturally.

I had one of my ex PA's bring Betka, her 5 year old daughter here while she worked. Betka couldn't speak English and I couldn't speak Slovakian, but we got on together great.

She would sit on my knee and examine my hands closely trying to figure out why they wouldn't work.

At the end of the 3 weeks she'd leant lots of English and said I was her English Dedko... That's "Granddad".

[greybeard]

Scribbler, on Jan 13 2009, 10:22 AM, said:

I soon scare them away by saying, "I fell out of a Brothel window"; it leaves them speachless...

Love that, Scribbs. Made me laugh out loud.

[Beautiful]

Ew, the "I know how you feel" comments really irk me. No one can really empathize with me unless they too have become disabled. It feels like a part of me died. I've basically been paralyzed my whole life, and the person who was able to walk then isn't here anymore... its like she died when the accident happened. After the accident, I had to get used to this "new me", so when someone says they know how I feel, I can't believe them. I really don't think they know what it feels like to have a whole life that could have been great taken away from them. Don't get me wrong, I do have a great life now, and I do love it ;)

Kids always ask me if my legs are broken, and I think it is cute. It always makes me smile. I am a pretty easy going person, so not a lot upsets me. I can always laugh it off

[youwhat]

greybeard, on Jan 13 2009, 12:18 PM, said:

Scribbler, on Jan 13 2009, 10:22 AM, said:

I soon scare them away by saying, "I fell out of a Brothel window"; it leaves them speachless...

Love that, Scribbs. Made me laugh out loud.

I will have to remember that one, although I sometimes get some looks when I tell people what happened to me and some stupid people come out with things like the o you will walk again and all that rubbish! I'm happy the way I am and I think that having a sense of humor about it is one of the best ways to cope!

[crazylegs420]

"you're so lucky"

[Swordfish]

I REALLY HATE when people ask me to do a wheelie. It's like seeing someone and going 'HEY MAN JUMP UP AND DOWN REAL QUICK LOL' I really don't see the draw in it. On odd occasions though, I do get pushy people who tip me backwards and try to FORCE a wheelie... usually a 'ahh oh shit... my back...' scares em off.

[Beautiful]

I use to get the "oh can you do a wheelie?!" comments a lot! Also, a couple years ago when I did a pageant, this girl who had a paralyzed mom, came up to me and starting poking my legs. I was like WTF?! She thought it was okay to see "if it hurt me", just because her mom was in a wheelchair. That has happened a couple times to me, and I'm seriously just in awe, because why would they just come up and start poking me?! It is kind of amusing, but it is a little rude! A few summers ago this older girl poked my leg to see if I could move it (right after I told her I couldn't walk at all), and she poked my leg pretty hard that she actually moved my leg and she was like "OH MY GOD IT MOVED!" It was SO hard to keep a straight face. It was a tad rude, but oh my gosh, so funny.

[Sandra62]

Beautiful, on Jan 14 2009, 09:46 AM, said:

I use to get the "oh can you do a wheelie?!" comments a lot! Also, a couple years ago when I did a pageant, this girl who had a paralyzed mom, came up to me and starting poking my legs. I was like WTF?! She thought it was okay to see "if it hurt me", just because her mom was in a wheelchair. That has happened a couple times to me, and I'm seriously just in awe, because why would they just come up and start poking me?! It is kind of amusing, but it is a little rude! A few summers ago this older girl poked my leg to see if I could move it (right after I told her I couldn't walk at all), and she poked my leg pretty hard that she actually moved my leg and she was like "OH MY GOD IT MOVED!" It was SO hard to keep a straight face. It was a tad rude, but oh my gosh, so funny.

Beautiful, it is horrible what you say. I is so humiliating. She (they) go much too far. What kind of persons are they? You should not let them come so close to you.

I have to say I never experienced someting like that so I am really shocked.

[Swordfish]

Oh I got another good one, I been getting this one A LOT lately.

'y'ever heard of stem cells, man?'

when im in the mood I say no, and let them explain. Sometimes they explain anyway.

Apparently stem cells have the ability to regenerate your legs and make me 'normal' again. Isn't that hilarious? going up to someones face and saying something can make them 'normal'

I don't get mad though, and you all shouldn't either. People are just misinformed, or stupid, either way.

[graphic]

Swordfish, on Jan 15 2009, 04:25 AM, said:

Oh I got another good one, I been getting this one A LOT lately.

'y'ever heard of stem cells, man?'

when im in the mood I say no, and let them explain. Sometimes they explain anyway.

Apparently stem cells have the ability to regenerate your legs and make me 'normal' again. Isn't that hilarious? going up to someones face and saying something can make them 'normal'

I don't get mad though, and you all shouldn't either. People are just misinformed, or stupid, either way.

Contact E-DOG, he offers a bargain deal!

[Hikkakaru]

my favorite one that a good girl friend of many years says to me with sarcasm is

"Oh hi. Don't bother getting up i'll just be here a minute"

Makes me laugh every time.

[JohnnyO]

I received this comment a couple times recently....

I go to the same place to get my haircut. When I check in to the desk where the person asks for my name, they say it will take a couple minutes before a hairdresser is available and to take a "seat" until they're available.

Glad I brought my own!

JO

[Murray]

Did a 30-miler in Reno last weekend (handcycle rally) and one of the guys told me this tale. He owns a tree falling/trimming business, has a half dozen employees. (His injury was not job-related. That was my first thought, too.) Anyway, he was on the job one day - rollin' around in his chair - and the property owner came up to one of the workers and said, "I think it's wonderful what you're doing - getting him out like this." To which the worker responded emphatically, "Lady, he's my boss!" HA!

[Murray]

... got another one:

My wife, her son and I took a train trip a while back. We had a sleeper car (fancy - my first train ride). Anyway, the conductor (or whatever he's called) came down to the sleeper to take our dinner order as there is no means of getting to the diner. He was a little hesitant to take my order - not knowing if I could handle the chore (HA!) and Ali (wife) absent-mindedly said, "He can point." ARG! So, the standing family joke is my saying in a messed up voice, "Duh, I can point." Had to be there.

[ClaraTaylor]

"Can't they do anything for that?"

Oh sure, I just thought I'd not take the cure and stay like this instead.

[chickadee]

I was in a local yarn shop (not my typical one, although they do recognize my face), and was asked what happened to me? And then proceeded to talk to me about it for 15 minutes, even the gory details. I'm not particularly comfortable talking about it to complete strangers at length, so it kind of irked me.

What really bothered me is when she said, "You're not really paralyzed, you're using crutches."

And I said to her, "The only reason I'm using my crutches, rather dangerously, is because your store is so wheelchair-unfriendly."

"Well, I can bring you skeins of yarn that you'd like to look at," she sniffed, miffed about what I said.

I paused, and said, "You know as well as I that one of the main reasons to come to a yarn store is so that you can feel the items, see the color selection, and so forth yourself. So unless you have unlimited time to show me every single skein of yarn that is available, I'd rather browse myself."

She stares at me, dumbstruck.

"Otherwise, I would just shop online. Prices are cheaper there anyway. Hey, did you know that _____ was having a sale? They're super wheelchair friendly; I can get in and out without any trouble!"

At this point, the owner came up, embarrassed, and called this lady into the back of the shop. She came back out, apologized to me, and gave me a 10% discount on my purchase. I told her to not worry about it, and to not worry about the discount - but reminded her that it made me feel uncomfortable, and I'm a VIP customer in the couple of shops I visit frequently.

I dunno, it rubbed me the wrong way. Probably because I was on my crutches, which I don't like doing (doesn't feel very safe, and I can't bend over and see anything down low, get tired way too quickly). Maybe you had to be there.

I guess I just don't like it when random people assume they can strike up conversations with me about this sort of thing. I try to smile and be patient, Minnesota nice and all that... it just peeves me a bit. I mean, I don't ask you questions about menopause, lady.

This post has been edited by chickadee: 24 September 2009 - 10:11 PM

[Murray]

Give 'em hell, Minny

[greybeard]

You know, I find it kind of odd that some folks here complain when strangers ask why they are in a wheelchair. I guess that nearly all Apparelyzed members are strangers to each other, and yet almost the first act on joining is to complete the Injury Level section of their profile. Where's the difference?

[Murray]

greybeard, on Sep 24 2009, 03:21 PM, said:

You know, I find it kind of odd that some folks here complain when strangers ask why they are in a wheelchair. I guess that nearly all Apparelyzed members are strangers to each other, and yet almost the first act on joining is to complete the Injury Level section of their profile. Where's the difference?

We humans are weird bunch, aren't we? Entertaining, though. Ya' gotta admit. About the complaint - I'm not sure it's about, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" I think it's more about the way the question's posed - sort of missing the obvious: "I'm in a chair cause my legs don't work!" (Love your Einstein quote.) And, as for the Injury Level section of the profile .... We all get a little narcissistic about our injury; that, or just plain sick - loving the attention that comes from "sharing our story". So. what are we ultimately? Just this side of crazy - which is what keeps us sane - or so we think.

But - despite all the illogical stuff - we're an OK bunch.

[pow76]

When someone says ''god put you in this chair for a reason

all you have to do is try i know you can walk


i wish i had your hands

when someone wants to come pray over me in public

[rue2you]

I don't know, for me, there is this kind of universal bond with other people in wheelchairs. I think because although everyone is different, there are enough similarities with living your life in a chair that we all "understand". I NEVER would have thought of all the complications of living in a chair until I was in one. I think people don't have a clue. There are still things that even my husband will say that he doesn't realize how that can be a challenge. Even something as simple as a kid's lego in the floor will stop you! So...I think that is why we are comfortable with one another. We all understand. Strangers don't understand and if they truly want to know something then I don't mind sharing. However, if I think they just kind of have a sick curiosity I get uncomfortable real quick. I don't feel that way with you guys though.
Quick story...my husband is a Pastor and he was in charge of the funeral of a prominent business man in our church that had passed away. I was supposed to sing for this funeral and I was in the back of the funeral home near the sound system sitting by myself. In "rolls" this guy - about my age with his wife and kids. He was in a wheelchair and he looked at me and I looked at him and he looked at me again and I kind of waved a little bit because I didn't know what else to do. He then grinned and said "You wanna race?" At this time, I had only been in the chair for about 6 weeks so I said "No, you will win!" He laughed and at the dinner after the funeral we talked for 3 hours! I was so new to it all and he had been in a chair for 5 years (Gulf War innoculations ate away at his spinal cord). We were almost the exact same level and he was a great encouragement to me and has been a great friend. He even brought me an older cushion of his to borrow until I got a good one of my own and let me try his chair and he tried mine. He showed me how to make adjustments on my chair to make it fit me better until I get my custom one (I bought mine on Ebay). Anyway, saying all this to say that I was so comfortable with this guy because there is this bond that is already there. I still see him around and we strike up a conversation like old friends.
I think that is the difference between all of us on here and other people. Just my two cents!