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Ten things never to say to a disabled person


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#151 ClaraTaylor

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 06:43 AM

"That's a shame, so is that why you aren't drinking alcohol?"

It took me a second to figure that one out when he said it. But I delicately explained that I was the one who would be driving home.

"I had a bad back once - what helped me was my wife giving me a massage"

So there you go folks - get someone else's wife to give you a massage and it'll all go away!

#152 greybeard

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 07:22 AM

View PostClaraTaylor, on Oct 5 2009, 07:43 AM, said:

So there you go folks - get someone else's wife to give you a massage and it'll all go away!

Got her phone number?

Carpe Diem


#153 Ratticis

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 08:26 AM

In the hospital, nurse goes "there's not enough room to get the stretcher in here, you're goin to have to walk out to the hallway." Then when I say I can't I get "Well we can't help you if you don't want to cooperate!"
Another time I go for an x-ray in my chair and the tech x-ray tech goes "you're gunna hafta stand up for this"
Morons!

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#154 ClaraTaylor

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 12:18 PM

View Postgreybeard, on Oct 5 2009, 08:22 AM, said:

View PostClaraTaylor, on Oct 5 2009, 07:43 AM, said:

So there you go folks - get someone else's wife to give you a massage and it'll all go away!

Got her phone number?

I didn't alas. Partly because she looked like she would break me B)

#155 qbounce

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 04:10 PM

View PostWicket, on Oct 4 2009, 09:45 AM, said:

Ignorant people in general are one thing...and now that I think about it most have actually been open to hear about SCI; but what really gets me hot headed is if they're medical proffesionals (nurses, doctors)-they should know and be as informed as much as they can, but often they're not.

Wicket,
You totally got that one right!! I've had MANY stupid comments made by professionals. Funny thing is, if it was just a regular AB saying it, it would have just rolled off my back and I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But you would expect doctors in the field to not make such stupid comments.

"Isn't that chair to small for you?"--I'd just gotten my first fitted WC.-lol
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

#156 Ratticis

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 08:03 PM

I used to get this "team" of doctors (mostly in residency) that would come in at 7am, turn that light that glares right in your eyes on, and start poking and proding me without so much as saying hi. And ask the nurse questions about where I had pain/felling then huddle in the corner of the room and talk amoungst them selves. Then leave without shutting that light back off and without ever saying a word to me. Finally one day when they started poking at me I said very loudly and annoyed "GOOD MORNING!"

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#157 Karl187

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 10:32 AM

About four days post-surgery a nurse comes in and touches my legs says,

"Okay Karl, its time to start moving your legs."

Hadn't looked at my chart apparently.
THE ONLY EASY DAY WAS YESTERDAY.

#158 janine

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 05:36 PM

The worst one Ive heard is "oh you crippled"!! It rendened me speechless when I heard that one...Luckily in the 9 years my hubby has been a quadriplegic Ive only heard it once!

#159 dangerousdave

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 06:54 PM

Policeman.....Do you know how fast you were going.
Me.....Yeah about 100mph
Policeman.....Why
Me.....Gotta find a loo that I can use without giving myself an infection, now piss off I'm in a hurry

Or

PM.....I'm arresting you
Me.....getting out my wheelchair and stuff
PM.....oh we cant get him in the car
2nd PM.....Call a van
3rd PM.....we can't get him in the van
2nd PM.....call a handicab
PM....Hold on ..we can't get him in the police station
Ummmmmmmhhh
PM.....I shall caution you here by the road and process the paperwork later, goodbye
Me.....I am still waiting for the paperwork

Yes that really did happen 2 months ago

#160 Wicket

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 10:22 PM

I also always get told to watch that I don't get a speeding ticket in my chair. The ONLY guy who says that and is able to get away with it just happens to be an auto/car/truck/racing addict and is a good friend of mine. With him I just laugh it off because I know his intentions are fine. Otherwise don't get me started lol, or I'LL RUN OVER YOUR TOES!!!! :muahaha:

Actually that has happened on occasion by accident.

A poor teacher of mine was so unfortunate as to have this peril befall his dear foot. I apologized but was proclaimed a
"crazy woman driver" We both had a good laugh later but it was a good thing for him I don't weigh much

Edited by Wicket, 07 October 2009 - 05:19 PM.

Sometimes the majority means all the fools are on the same side.
Don't be so open minded your brains fall out.

#161 dangerousdave

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 04:07 PM

Mind those toes
85kg equates to 28kg/big wheel contacting with those toes through a tyre contact area of say 4 sq cm....................ouch

#162 kcl

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Posted 09 October 2009 - 08:06 PM

This whole thread is very educational and also funny!

My husband has also gotten the "but is it permanent???", "well, it could have been a lot worse" and "boy, I wish I had one of those scooters, I'd be using it all the time". LOL

As far as medical professionals :/ - the doctor that f*****ed my husband up bounded into his hospital room the next morning and asked my husband "How are we doing this morning?" Hubby responded "I don't know about your half of we, but my half of we can't move his legs!". Three or four months later to basically the same question at a follow-up appointment, answered "my half of we is still crippled". I told him he was really being MEAN to that doctor.

I think most people are ignorant and don't mean to say the things they do. For instance, when my Mom and sister were visiting and were watching Tim play bowling on the WII, my mother says (where he can clearly hear her) something like: "Just watching him do that from right here, you'd never know that there's something wrong with him". Of course, I have also cringed when I saw her go up to someone that she knew has Alzheimers and say "Hi Mrs. Smith, do you KNOW me???" My mom doesn't mean any harm.

Also, my co-workers are clueless. When I told one that my husband was able to wiggle his left toes after being in the hospital for three weeks she said "Ooooohhh, well then, if he can wiggle his toes he's going to be just fiiiiiiine". LOL
Or another one who said "Just tell him to stick with the physical therapy and he'll be fine - no pain, no gain. My leg was paralyzed for a while after a hunting accident and I am now able to walk normally." I asked how long was he "paralyzed" and he said "about a week".

#163 CR_L1

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Posted 10 October 2009 - 06:08 PM

I have read this thread many times before & it is only now I have something to add.
I am normally able to let things go over my head & not acknowledge what said but last week at a friend’s party one of my mates commented on my leg bag by saying, “Hay mate your lazy persons bag looks full” :dev:
I am probably depriving a village of an idiot
I use to be indecisive but Im not so sure anymore

#164 tarabev

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 01:54 AM

Last year I took my 8yo daughter to the Melbourne show, it was a long day and i wasn't walking too well as we were leaving, on the way out there were 3teenage girls walking behind us when I heard them giggle and one say "look at how SHE walks'! I stopped and told them where to bloody go, told them that I'd broken my neck and that I was bloody lucky to be walking, they went red and walked away...........I then had to go and sit down and i cried my eyes out, my poor little girl felt so sorry for me.....

I also hate it when I've been told that I cant be a quad cos I'm walking

#165 wheeliebear75

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 06:06 AM

I feel for you. :hug: But you are 100% correct......you are lucky to be walking & they can shove it exactly where I'm assuming you no doubt pointed out the location of & what they should do with it.......trouble is their heads were already blocking the way. B)

I guess I can't really say that much about the last point other than you're not the only one who although able to walk still has issues from their neck injuries. But as a partial para with some ability to walk I can relate. :cheers:

View PostCR_L1, on Oct 10 2009, 07:08 PM, said:

I have read this thread many times before & it is only now I have something to add.
I am normally able to let things go over my head & not acknowledge what said but last week at a friend’s party one of my mates commented on my leg bag by saying, “Hay mate your lazy persons bag looks full” B)


B) B) :boxing: Is right! B) What an ass! :nono:
*Enjoy every sunset, but be grateful for every dawn.*
*Wheelchairs are made of a special ocular magnetic alloy......they're "eyeball magnets".*
*I USE a wheelchair, that does NOT make ME a wheelchair!*

#166 tarabev

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 08:01 AM

View Postwheeliebear75, on Oct 13 2009, 05:06 PM, said:

I feel for you. :hug: But you are 100% correct......you are lucky to be walking & they can shove it exactly where I'm assuming you no doubt pointed out the location of & what they should do with it.......trouble is their heads were already blocking the way. B)

I guess I can't really say that much about the last point other than you're not the only one who although able to walk still has issues from their neck injuries. But as a partial para with some ability to walk I can relate. :cheers:

View PostCR_L1, on Oct 10 2009, 07:08 PM, said:

I have read this thread many times before & it is only now I have something to add.
I am normally able to let things go over my head & not acknowledge what said but last week at a friend’s party one of my mates commented on my leg bag by saying, “Hay mate your lazy persons bag looks full” B)


B) B) :boxing: Is right! B) What an ass! :nono:

Thanks Wheelibear (cool name!)......with the people not thinking I'm a quad, it's more their ignorance and I then explain why I'm a quad, although walking.

#167 Ratticis

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 09:22 AM

I hate hearing "you can't do that, you're in a wheelchair" (gee, I didn't notice). I'm stubbern enough to hurt myself doing something at that point just to prove I CAN do it. Can't is not in my normal vocabulary.

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#168 ClaraTaylor

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 10:13 AM

Okay so I use sticks no big deal everyone presumes you've hurt your ankle or your knee...

... until I get on the forklift truck.

#169 Ratticis

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 10:22 AM

Also don't say "Hitler was right," or "do you know how to get blood outta white cotten sheets?"

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#170 ClaraTaylor

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 11:04 AM

View PostRatticis, on Oct 13 2009, 11:22 AM, said:

Also don't say "Hitler was right,"...

B) There's a woman at college (who works as an occupational nurse!!) who is of the opinion than disabled people (mentally / physically / etc) should be "put out of their misery" meaning .... "being less of an inconvience to everyone else" (she spelled this bit out quite clearly) as they "take from the NHS too much" and "don't contribute enough to the economy" and it's "just not right" having to rely on others...

...which was met with mixed reactions from the rest of the group during our break time chats.

My response was that perhaps death by failure of an IQ test would be more suited. Strangely she wasn't all that happy at this idea.

#171 Murray

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 03:36 PM

View PostClaraTaylor, on Oct 13 2009, 04:04 AM, said:

View PostRatticis, on Oct 13 2009, 11:22 AM, said:

Also don't say "Hitler was right,"...

:lol: There's a woman at college (who works as an occupational nurse!!) who is of the opinion than disabled people (mentally / physically / etc) should be "put out of their misery" meaning .... "being less of an inconvience to everyone else" (she spelled this bit out quite clearly) as they "take from the NHS too much" and "don't contribute enough to the economy" and it's "just not right" having to rely on others...

...which was met with mixed reactions from the rest of the group during our break time chats.

My response was that perhaps death by failure of an IQ test would be more suited. Strangely she wasn't all that happy at this idea.

Tell the b*tch to check out the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation site for the latest numbers on employed disabled persons world-wide, not to mention their contribution to a nation's economy via their consumerism. Dumb broad. Be nice to know exactly what her contribution to UK's economy amounts to! Oh well - it is what it is. She's who/what she is - out to lunch.
Obey little. Resist much. -Whitman
Irrevence is the champion of liberty and its only defense. -Twain

#172 Ratticis

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 04:45 PM

Could we put her out of our missery?

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#173 Illinois Boy

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 06:19 PM

Don't know if this was posted before........

Shake A Leg......
:lol:
For Those About To Rock, I Salute To You......
My Store Click on ads at bottom of my site please....

#174 wheeliebear75

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 08:48 PM

View PostRatticis, on Oct 13 2009, 05:45 PM, said:

Could we put her out of our missery?


I'm in total agreement! :lol:
*Enjoy every sunset, but be grateful for every dawn.*
*Wheelchairs are made of a special ocular magnetic alloy......they're "eyeball magnets".*
*I USE a wheelchair, that does NOT make ME a wheelchair!*

#175 Murray

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 02:20 AM

View Postwheeliebear75, on Oct 13 2009, 01:48 PM, said:

View PostRatticis, on Oct 13 2009, 05:45 PM, said:

Could we put her out of our missery?


I'm in total agreement! :)


sounds like we got a plan brewin' here - oh, the Feds just bust down my door. Damn! Can't any fun these days!
Obey little. Resist much. -Whitman
Irrevence is the champion of liberty and its only defense. -Twain

#176 kate42

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 02:38 AM

Let's see here...

One that I've gotten quite frequently (not by total strangers, obviously) is "How do you pee?" In all honesty. My usual response? "Believe me, you REALLY don't want to know." And then I make a really, really creepy face.

One that I get asked at least once a week is "Can I see you do a wheelie?" and I'll be like, really, just follow me around for a while and chances are that I will do one just because I have to, mmkay?

#177 Ratticis

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 05:36 AM

"what's wrong with your legs?"
My legs? Nothing.

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#178 dangerousdave

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 09:11 AM

When adults ask all these dumb questions and make those stupid absurd remarks......your comments are understood.
But when it's kids.............thats a differant situation.
Show em your bag, explain the tube, tip on 2 wheels, transfer to a seat and invite them to have a go, we have all seen the inquisative looks from babies in pushchairs, we have all had comments like "cool mister"
When you fansey a game of catch ball, badmington or tennis......make sure to ask a group of young ones........and as they knock the ball all over the place...remind them that its there part to try to get the ball to you.
If we don't educate those youngsters....nobody else will.
The more we educate the young.....the less dumb ass questions we will hear

#179 ClaraTaylor

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 12:08 PM

View PostMurray, on Oct 14 2009, 03:20 AM, said:

View Postwheeliebear75, on Oct 13 2009, 01:48 PM, said:

View PostRatticis, on Oct 13 2009, 05:45 PM, said:

Could we put her out of our missery?

I'm in total agreement! :hug:

sounds like we got a plan brewin' here - oh, the Feds just bust down my door. Damn! Can't any fun these days!

Unfortunately she wasn't there yesterday. Mores the shame.
Never mind because next week I hope to ditch the sticks and painkillers and take the chair... which at least means I don't have to sit on those *awful* cold plastic school chairs (advantage of being a wobbler?).

#180 Murray

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 07:40 PM

Dave -

ABSOLUTELY! Plus it's a helluva lot more fun to interact with people who are real ... who don't have preconceived notions about right and wrong. God, I love kids. They're better than my dog - and that's sayin' somethin'!
Obey little. Resist much. -Whitman
Irrevence is the champion of liberty and its only defense. -Twain




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