Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries: Ten things never to say to a disabled person - Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries

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Ten things never to say to a disabled person Rate Topic: -----

#31 User is offline   jane 

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 04:32 PM

View PostLucky, on Sep 16 2006, 11:50 PM, said:

View Postjane, on Sep 15 2006, 07:59 AM, said:

View PostLucky, on Sep 12 2006, 12:37 PM, said:

If I had £1 for every person who's said " What you done to your leg ? " I'd be rich !



yep i get that one too.


jane



Itake it you walk and 1 leg is better than the other ?



Yes, my left leg is a lot weaker than my right and doesn't always do what i want it too. so is my left arm/hand but people don't tend to notice that . I found it worse in the winter than the summer - people assumed i had been skiing !! I wish.
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#32 User is offline   Avocado Baby 

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 04:33 PM

View PostLucydog, on Sep 26 2006, 04:15 PM, said:

This w/e and elderly relative said to me...

" So do you sit in it all day, or do you get up and have a little walk around a bit?"


Yes OF COURSE Im sitting here because Im just too bone idle to walk around. What am I thinking of? :)



Ha ha! That's a good one! I cannot stand the 'speed limit/drink driving/driving license' comments! If you're make a joke, at least try and be original purlease!! :)

I work in a school and a kid said to me the other day about it being good to be able to sit down all day. Well, personally I'd rather have the choice but maybe I'll just being greedy! :) :type:
Paraplegic with Spina Bifida. Sensory and function level is T8. T11-L5 fusion 1993. Laminectomy and decompression T10 2006. Spinal fusion T8-T12 with instrumentation Feb 2007. Moderate kyphoscoliosis. Taking 75mg Lyrica 3xday for neuropathic pain.
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#33 User is offline   juls 

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Posted 27 September 2006 - 06:21 AM

My sister ordered some tickets today to go and see a comedian..after explaining to the lady that i'm a quadreplegic, the lady asked Ang if it was possible for me to walk down the front of the theatre without the wheelchair........ahhh, NO!! :P
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#34 User is offline   bigsmiles 

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Posted 27 September 2006 - 06:31 AM

View Postjuls, on Sep 27 2006, 07:21 AM, said:

My sister ordered some tickets today to go and see a comedian..after explaining to the lady that i'm a quadreplegic, the lady asked Ang if it was possible for me to walk down the front of the theatre without the wheelchair........ahhh, NO!! :P

The daft bat :nopity: the woman not your Sister....woops time for work....laters
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt.
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#35 User is offline   Avocado Baby 

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Posted 03 October 2006 - 08:52 PM

A good friend of mine did ask me earlier if new boyfriend is disabled too! :unsure: I just had to laugh! This is the same friend the other day who asked whether I'd tired a lavendar heatpack to ease my back pain, but then it did dawn on him that I might not be considering major surgery if that was the answer to my problem!! :) :D
Paraplegic with Spina Bifida. Sensory and function level is T8. T11-L5 fusion 1993. Laminectomy and decompression T10 2006. Spinal fusion T8-T12 with instrumentation Feb 2007. Moderate kyphoscoliosis. Taking 75mg Lyrica 3xday for neuropathic pain.
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#36 User is offline   livewriter 

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Posted 03 October 2006 - 09:32 PM

I actually got "When was the last time you tried to walk?" the other day..
GUSTAVO
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#37 User is offline   Lucky 

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Posted 04 October 2006 - 09:37 AM

I walk pretty nifty around the pub but some one was still amazed when I said I could drive.
"don't be silly, he can't drive" ..... :H2kOther (26):
C-5 Incomplete, Diving Accident in Mexico. Walking with crutches, In controlled pain !
Big respect to all SCI people !
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#38 User is offline   xMaddiex 

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Posted 04 October 2006 - 03:38 PM

^^ yup, jason gets that all the time. he'll be like, "wanna bet" and go out and drive round just to prove a point, but i suppose, any excuse for him to be driving...
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#39 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 09 October 2006 - 05:29 PM

One time, I was out with my wife and some of her near family (not her Mom, but her Mom's twin sister).
We were "walking" around a park area and there was a big hill so my wife assisted me. Well my wife's aunt was also pushing a baby in a stroller and she said to the baby "Look Ronald, he has a stroller just like you!"
OMG I was fuming. I had to bite my tongue hard to not say anything. Needless to say, I try to talk to that woman as little as possible these days.
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#40 User is offline   jockey97 

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Posted 09 October 2006 - 10:50 PM

View Postruth, on Sep 12 2006, 08:34 AM, said:

Or 'How does your husband cope with you and the children?!' Grrr when someone says that, I dont even digify it with a response.

I also hate being brave and admired, dont they realise I have no choice?

nice to know someone else feels the same way
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#41 User is offline   linda 

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Posted 10 October 2006 - 09:47 PM

My daughter and I have had all of the tings you have mentioned happen, Neither she or I find it rude or out of the way! We view it as the other person eather is curious or not understanding the disability. For an example just today my daughter and I was in the grocerie store, an elderly lady began talking to us. In the conversation we mentioned that my daughter is a vegitarian, the lady then asked if my daughter was in the wheel chair because of eating meat. We found it quite funny! people are just curious, I dont think most mean any harm. My daughter will tell people if they have questions to please ask her, no matter what it is. After all....... No question is a dumb question! I think we all want people to be more understanding of the diffrent types of injurys and what health issues go along with them, so how will we build awareness? not by getting upset if another person askes a question! even if it is a question you think is dumb.My daughter always says that a person who is comfortable in their own skin will not be uncomfortable or have issues with another questioning his/her abilities or disabilities. Please excuse my miss apellings!
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#42 User is offline   milosh 

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Posted 10 October 2006 - 09:51 PM

linda... agree with you! hi to your daughter and you. ;)
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#43 User is offline   linda 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 01:15 AM

View Postmilosh, on Oct 10 2006, 01:51 PM, said:

linda... agree with you! hi to your daughter and you. ;)

Hello back to you! :specool:
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#44 User is offline   Texaswheelz 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 04:13 AM

I agree with Linda also, but I have to say it's not the questions I have problems with it's the comments or actions that bother me.

I was in Best Buy one day(well I worked there for a bit) and a couple came over and started talking to me and asking about my injury, it didn't bother me at all, as I'd rather people ask then just assume. After a few minutes of talking they left, but a couple of minutes later the returned. They asked me if they could pray for me. So I said sure, go ahead. Little did I know that they meant right then and there. They both put their hands on my head and back and started loudly praying. I'm talking the sort of stuff they do on TV where they "miracously" heal 100 people a night. This lasted for about 5 minutes and I'm just sitting there mortified, thinking my boss is going to come fire my ass or something as half the store can hear them and is coming to see what the commotion is. When they finished they actualy told me to stand and walk because I was cured.
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#45 User is offline   juls 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 05:33 AM

:D I would be moretified!!!!!!!!!!! You poor thing :specool:
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#46 User is offline   Lucky 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 11:06 AM

Ahh, thats bad.....

I agree that although I don't mind people coming out with some daft questions etc. Sometimes you think.....come on, thats a little ignorant. I always think then speak...some speak and then...speak :yikes:
C-5 Incomplete, Diving Accident in Mexico. Walking with crutches, In controlled pain !
Big respect to all SCI people !
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#47 User is offline   linda 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 02:49 PM

I do think even the comments are not ment for insult, most that we hear are just the person is ignorant of her condition. Not ignorant in the terms of rude just in the turmes of lack of knowlage of her condition. My daughter is very sicure with her condition, you can say anything to her ask her any question she will ancwer your question, correct you or laugh! She is understanding of others thinking no matter how crazy it seems. Among many things my daughter is a dog trainer, the other day she had another trainer ask her if she knew this other trainer who was from another state. She went on as to how good he was and that he was also in a wheel chair. My daughter explained to this person that she didnt know the the person she was refering to, she also explained that because she was in a chair it didnt mean she knows every person who has one. The woman appologised to my daughter saying she didnt mean to insinuate anything, she just thaught that maybe she went to some of the same wheel chair activities he did. My daughter again explained that she doesnt go to wheel chair activities and if she did she probably still wouldnt know this man, she also let her know that because a person is wheelchair dependant it doest me that all of them go to places where just wheelchair usesrs go. This is another miss understanding of most people, they think because a person has a chair that they must attend groups for wheelchair users. My daughter kindly explained to her that it is a miss conseption and that there are many others as well. The women had no clue! my daughter was not bothered by her comments, she simply corected her! After she told me thats one more educated person lol!
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#48 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 05:06 PM

I don't agree with some of those recent comments. I'm not okay with people asking me questions just becasue they are curious. It's not that it digs up old or bad memories for me, I just don't particualarly care to share my "life" stories with a complete stranger. Just because they are curious, I'm expected to share that information with them? I don't think so. Does that make me a biiter cripple? I'm sure that's what people would say.
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#49 User is offline   rkzenrage 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 06:42 PM

View Postjuls, on Sep 12 2006, 08:06 AM, said:

"i wish i got to sit on my arse all day" :mfromg: i'm always speechless (which is rare!) when people say this to me.....yeah i just love sitting on my arse....ALL...THE ..TIME! :icecream:

That is really the only one that gets to me... the rest are not so bad if they are honest and from a compassionate place.
Though, I have never heard the "is this your nurse" one... that may get to me.
In a MySpace site there, apparently, was a show on TLC where some Motivational Speakers who had to spend a WHOLE 24 HOURS in a chair. They have had to do many difficult things. They all said this was the hardest and one lady said that if she had to do this for life she would kill herself... this was a person who's job it is to motivate people? Good Lord?!
I don't know the name of the show... If I find it I will let you know.

The first statement... I wonder how someone would react if you replied "got a pocket knife"?

This post has been edited by rkzenrage: 11 October 2006 - 06:44 PM

Thomas Jefferson-
"If a law is unjust not only does a man have the right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so!"
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#50 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 06:48 PM

I love the "nurse" coment. I've had that one before too. There was episode od The Office that did a good wheel chair joke.
They were at an office party and Michael, the lead of the show, was talking to a co worker (the guy in a chair) and asked if that was his nurse? The woman standing next to the guy in the chair. Chair guy replies, "that's my wife", Michael replies "score, marrying your nurse". It was pretty funny.
Family Guy also has some good wheelchair jokes
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#51 User is offline   rkzenrage 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 07:01 PM

I also agree that it is not my job to educate the world and do not always want to relive pain at the drop of the hat.
If people want to learn more about the disabled they can go on-line or go to the library.

I exclude kids from this... they can't help themselves, it is their nature and there is no malice in them. Also, if you tell them you don't feel like talking to them, they usually listen.
Thomas Jefferson-
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#52 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 07:12 PM

I agree about the kids asking. Curiosity is all part of growing up. Aparently, most people never grow up :icecream:

This post has been edited by Adams: 11 October 2006 - 07:13 PM

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#53 User is offline   linda 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 07:58 PM

I guess it all depends on the question or comment and how it is presented as to how one should react. I wouldnt think a person was a prue if they didnt want to get in to full detail about thier condition to a perfect starnger. Most comments or questions are almost silly to the affect that they dont make any sence. Boy am I glad my daughter doesnt have the same out look as some of the people here! I would be mortafied if she ever looked at another person after they asked her a simple question, and she told them to go to the library! No I wouldnt say one should entertain every question or comment because there are rude people or should I say people with no common sence. I see them every day while Im out with my daughter! and I think some times they bother me more than her. We all have our diffrent thoughts on how one shold act when aproached with comments and questions and thats ok after all we are all diffrent.
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#54 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 08:09 PM

LOL

Library = @#! (whatever colorful explitive comes to mind)
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#55 User is offline   rkzenrage 

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Posted 11 October 2006 - 09:54 PM

I love our library, I will soon start reading to the kids there.
Thomas Jefferson-
"If a law is unjust not only does a man have the right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so!"
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#56 User is offline   Nichole 

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Posted 12 October 2006 - 07:50 PM

View PostAdams, on Oct 11 2006, 06:48 PM, said:

I love the "nurse" coment. I've had that one before too. There was episode od The Office that did a good wheel chair joke.
They were at an office party and Michael, the lead of the show, was talking to a co worker (the guy in a chair) and asked if that was his nurse? The woman standing next to the guy in the chair. Chair guy replies, "that's my wife", Michael replies "score, marrying your nurse". It was pretty funny.
Family Guy also has some good wheelchair jokes

HA! i love that show i remeber that one!
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#57 User is offline   Adams 

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Posted 12 October 2006 - 09:09 PM

Is it just me, or are there a lot more than, "Ten things never to say to a disabled person", being posted to this thread?
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#58 User is offline   Lucky 

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Posted 13 October 2006 - 10:37 AM

View PostAdams, on Oct 11 2006, 06:06 PM, said:

because they are curious, I'm expected to share that information with them? I don't think so. Does that make me a biiter cripple? I'm sure that's what people would say.


Not bitter 1 little bit, each to their own. Sometimes I'm in the mood to answer questions....sometimes not.
C-5 Incomplete, Diving Accident in Mexico. Walking with crutches, In controlled pain !
Big respect to all SCI people !
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#59 User is offline   Tinbasher 

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Posted 14 October 2006 - 10:08 PM

View PostAdams, on Oct 11 2006, 07:48 PM, said:

I love the "nurse" coment. I've had that one before too. There was episode od The Office that did a good wheel chair joke.
They were at an office party and Michael, the lead of the show, was talking to a co worker (the guy in a chair) and asked if that was his nurse? The woman standing next to the guy in the chair. Chair guy replies, "that's my wife", Michael replies "score, marrying your nurse". It was pretty funny.
Family Guy also has some good wheelchair jokes


A few years ago I went for lunch with my new boss, a high flying rather "up herself" business woman. Power dressing the whole nine yards. When we ordered the waiter asked me "What will your nurse have"? I was mortified but then we both cracked up and it broke the ice. I think it actually helped her see that the way people percieve us is as disabling as our injury.

Tin
Never give up, never slow down.
Never grow old, never die young.
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#60 User is offline   milosh 

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Posted 14 October 2006 - 10:22 PM

such prejudices are kinda universal and global.
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