[rkzenrage]

I also agree that it is not my job to educate the world and do not always want to relive pain at the drop of the hat.
If people want to learn more about the disabled they can go on-line or go to the library.

I exclude kids from this... they can't help themselves, it is their nature and there is no malice in them. Also, if you tell them you don't feel like talking to them, they usually listen.

[Adams]

I agree about the kids asking. Curiosity is all part of growing up. Aparently, most people never grow up

This post has been edited by Adams: 11 October 2006 - 07:13 PM

[linda]

I guess it all depends on the question or comment and how it is presented as to how one should react. I wouldnt think a person was a prue if they didnt want to get in to full detail about thier condition to a perfect starnger. Most comments or questions are almost silly to the affect that they dont make any sence. Boy am I glad my daughter doesnt have the same out look as some of the people here! I would be mortafied if she ever looked at another person after they asked her a simple question, and she told them to go to the library! No I wouldnt say one should entertain every question or comment because there are rude people or should I say people with no common sence. I see them every day while Im out with my daughter! and I think some times they bother me more than her. We all have our diffrent thoughts on how one shold act when aproached with comments and questions and thats ok after all we are all diffrent.

[Adams]

LOL

Library = @#! (whatever colorful explitive comes to mind)

[rkzenrage]

I love our library, I will soon start reading to the kids there.

[Nichole]

Adams, on Oct 11 2006, 06:48 PM, said:

I love the "nurse" coment. I've had that one before too. There was episode od The Office that did a good wheel chair joke.
They were at an office party and Michael, the lead of the show, was talking to a co worker (the guy in a chair) and asked if that was his nurse? The woman standing next to the guy in the chair. Chair guy replies, "that's my wife", Michael replies "score, marrying your nurse". It was pretty funny.
Family Guy also has some good wheelchair jokes

HA! i love that show i remeber that one!

[Adams]

Is it just me, or are there a lot more than, "Ten things never to say to a disabled person", being posted to this thread?

[Lucky]

Adams, on Oct 11 2006, 06:06 PM, said:

because they are curious, I'm expected to share that information with them? I don't think so. Does that make me a biiter cripple? I'm sure that's what people would say.

Not bitter 1 little bit, each to their own. Sometimes I'm in the mood to answer questions....sometimes not.

[Tinbasher]

Adams, on Oct 11 2006, 07:48 PM, said:

I love the "nurse" coment. I've had that one before too. There was episode od The Office that did a good wheel chair joke.
They were at an office party and Michael, the lead of the show, was talking to a co worker (the guy in a chair) and asked if that was his nurse? The woman standing next to the guy in the chair. Chair guy replies, "that's my wife", Michael replies "score, marrying your nurse". It was pretty funny.
Family Guy also has some good wheelchair jokes

A few years ago I went for lunch with my new boss, a high flying rather "up herself" business woman. Power dressing the whole nine yards. When we ordered the waiter asked me "What will your nurse have"? I was mortified but then we both cracked up and it broke the ice. I think it actually helped her see that the way people percieve us is as disabling as our injury.

Tin

[milosh]

such prejudices are kinda universal and global.

[Adams]

To me, the "nurse" comment has to be the funniest one there is. It truly shows someone's ignorance when they use it.

[Texaswheelz]

Well I can honestly say that before I was injured I had never been around anyone in a chair, nor had any of my family. We were just as ignorant as the rest of em. Then ya throw in that the only people that people do see in a chair are severely injured such as Christopher Reeves or in Million Dollar Baby, you really can't blame them for their ignorance.

I remember seeing a para on one episode of 91210 back when it first came out and they were actually covering different subjects instead of being the soap opera it turned into. That next week I had like 20 people just randomly say they had saw a guy in a chair on tv, as if my response would be something different then i'd saw a guy on legs on tv.

Can't blame ignorance on people if you aren't willing to educate them yourself as one of the best teachers of the subject they could have, but instead allow them to be taught incorrectly by others.

[Adams]

TexasWheelz,

You're absolutley right, Ignorance is not neccessarily a bad thing. That's kinda why I like the unintended joke so much. I appreciate good wheelchair jokes, the Nurse comment seems to come up a lot.

[Hotrodgimp]

A wise man once told me that there were more horses asses than there are horses and after reading these stories I can see that it's true. When someone asks me rudely about what happened to me I usually feed them one of my BS excuses like my parachute didn't open, or the bungee cord was too long, or I was on the bad end of some genetic testing, or I was playing with my home lobotomy kit and I sneezed. You would be surprised how many people respond REALLY?!! Yup,Wise man was right.

[caleb]

I think the one i hate the most is
I Know you pain man i was in a wheelchair once i broke my legs i was in it for like 6 weeks!
hmmm well i know you know how it feels to be in a chair but you have Know clue what its like to be paralyzed

[Trinity]

"So if I hit your legs you wouldn't feel it?"

No, but they might just kick you back, gone on, try it, I dare you!

[Apparelyzed]

"I know what it's like to be in a wheelchair, I had a DVD in my leg last year!"

Yes, that was said to me, and yes, he did say "DVD"!

Simon

[CR_L1]

"ignorance is bliss"

[Dave Bishopstone]

Texaswheelz, on Oct 11 2006, 05:13 AM, said:

I agree with Linda also, but I have to say it's not the questions I have problems with it's the comments or actions that bother me.

I was in Best Buy one day(well I worked there for a bit) and a couple came over and started talking to me and asking about my injury, it didn't bother me at all, as I'd rather people ask then just assume. After a few minutes of talking they left, but a couple of minutes later the returned. They asked me if they could pray for me. So I said sure, go ahead. Little did I know that they meant right then and there. They both put their hands on my head and back and started loudly praying. I'm talking the sort of stuff they do on TV where they "miracously" heal 100 people a night. This lasted for about 5 minutes and I'm just sitting there mortified, thinking my boss is going to come fire my ass or something as half the store can hear them and is coming to see what the commotion is. When they finished they actualy told me to stand and walk because I was cured.

Something similar happened to my son when I attended his church with him, there was a Guest Speaker / Pastor and my son went up with others when invited for 'laying on of hands' - he was surrounded by I don't know how many people each doing their thing - I found that I was getting really uptight and angry, which is surprising as I too believe but I hope realistically. The titanium rods and synex cage in his back weren't just going to disappear. To me the miracle was that someone had the skill to put them in there. Anyway they stopped their performance before I lost my cool - which was probably just as well.

This post has been edited by Dave Bishopstone: 30 August 2008 - 03:47 PM

[Dave Bishopstone]

Many years ago there was a play screened on TV called "Does he take sugar" Which portrayed how AB folk talk over disabled folk as though they do not have the capacity to answer for themselves. Little did I know how much I had been educated by that play and how I would need to use the lesson when our son sustained his SCI.

Maybe it should receive a regular screening! Equally, I'm sure AB folk don't set out to deliberately offend, for those who do however I know the capacity exists to set them straight! something like p.. off!

This post has been edited by Dave Bishopstone: 30 August 2008 - 04:21 PM

[Illinois Boy]

Never say this to us in a crowed building.............

FIRE........

[Webwych]

Being told I'm 'brave'....oh boy, that one grinds my gears! Bravery to me means having two options and choosing the one that carries the most personal risk and doing it anyway because you think that action is the right thing to do. Would I choose this? Would I hell!

[Lucky]

Apparelyzed, on Aug 30 2008, 10:45 AM, said:

"I know what it's like to be in a wheelchair, I had a DVD in my leg last year!"

Yes, that was said to me, and yes, he did say "DVD"!

Simon

OMG..... I'm sorry but in a sad way, thats so funny.

[Murray]

My eldest son converted to Roman Catholicism several years ago, and is quite the zealot. He and I haven't been on the best of terms since I left his mother, his sister and him about 40 yrs ago. After my injury, he wrote me a letter, saying that God punishes sinners for their misdeeds. In other words, I'm a para because of the "sins of my youth."

Goddammit, man! What kind of God do you worship?

He's a good 36-yr-old boy, but hasn't figured stuff out yet. I'll give him another 50 yrs.

No offense intended to those of you on the forum who are spiritual in the traditional sense. I was just caught flat-footed (HA) by my boy's comment.

[disjointed]

Pink Ali, on Oct 3 2006, 04:52 PM, said:

A good friend of mine did ask me earlier if new boyfriend is disabled too! I just had to laugh! This is the same friend the other day who asked whether I'd tired a lavendar heatpack to ease my back pain, but then it did dawn on him that I might not be considering major surgery if that was the answer to my problem!!

I sometimes get comments like "if you put your trust in God, you will be healed." First off, does God regenerate amputated limbs? Uh... no. So, why would God necessarily regenerate damaged innerds? And, perhaps there is a reason I am meant to deal with this stuff (as much as I complain about it), so if there is a God, the plan is not to just heal me. I just get so frustrated when people try to make me feel like it's a lack of faith or effort that keeps me the way I am...

[allis53ca]

don't say : hurry up

[Travelling Blackbird]

Texaswheelz, on Oct 11 2006, 06:13 AM, said:

I agree with Linda also, but I have to say it's not the questions I have problems with it's the comments or actions that bother me.

I was in Best Buy one day(well I worked there for a bit) and a couple came over and started talking to me and asking about my injury, it didn't bother me at all, as I'd rather people ask then just assume. After a few minutes of talking they left, but a couple of minutes later the returned. They asked me if they could pray for me. So I said sure, go ahead. Little did I know that they meant right then and there. They both put their hands on my head and back and started loudly praying. I'm talking the sort of stuff they do on TV where they "miraculously" heal 100 people a night. This lasted for about 5 minutes and I'm just sitting there mortified, thinking my boss is going to come fire my ass or something as half the store can hear them and is coming to see what the commotion is. When they finished they actually told me to stand and walk because I was cured.

I would have been mortified. That's an awesome story to look back on and laugh, but at the time... I don't know if I'd have been able to contain a few choice words.

[Travelling Blackbird]

disabledandbored, on Oct 17 2006, 05:38 PM, said:

A wise man once told me that there were more horses asses than there are horses and after reading these stories I can see that it's true. When someone asks me rudely about what happened to me I usually feed them one of my BS excuses like my parachute didn't open, or the bungee cord was too long, or I was on the bad end of some genetic testing, or I was playing with my home lobotomy kit and I sneezed. You would be surprised how many people respond REALLY?!! Yup,Wise man was right.

Oh, those are some choice ones. Here I thought I was bad for saying "I'm not allowed to talk about the Fight Club"

[Hapahowlee]

Many people ask my husband, "What wrong with you?"

I gave him some possible answers to use to confuse the f*** out of them.

"Well, I think I'm just having a bad hair day, I can't seem to get my part to stay in place."

"I think I have a splinter in my finger and can't seem to get it out."

"I'm constipated, can you really tell?"

[Sven]

CervInstabilityHMSandRSD, on Sep 1 2008, 05:51 AM, said:

I sometimes get comments like "if you put your trust in God, you will be healed." First off, does God regenerate amputated limbs? Uh... no. So, why would God necessarily regenerate damaged innerds? And, perhaps there is a reason I am meant to deal with this stuff (as much as I complain about it), so if there is a God, the plan is not to just heal me. I just get so frustrated when people try to make me feel like it's a lack of faith or effort that keeps me the way I am...

Sometimes I get that a similar comment like that "you'll be healed"-crap.
A friend of mine often tells me how my SCI is just God's punishment for not believing, not going to chuch regularly, not praying before meals, and, most important, geing gay.
Needless to say, we aren't as close as we once were..
Everytime he tells me things like that, I say "oh, your god really seems to be a nice person. Why would anyone not want to pray to somebody so nice and without need for evil revenge.."
But he stills gives me that comment.