[Adams]

To me, the "nurse" comment has to be the funniest one there is. It truly shows someone's ignorance when they use it.

[Texaswheelz]

Well I can honestly say that before I was injured I had never been around anyone in a chair, nor had any of my family. We were just as ignorant as the rest of em. Then ya throw in that the only people that people do see in a chair are severely injured such as Christopher Reeves or in Million Dollar Baby, you really can't blame them for their ignorance.

I remember seeing a para on one episode of 91210 back when it first came out and they were actually covering different subjects instead of being the soap opera it turned into. That next week I had like 20 people just randomly say they had saw a guy in a chair on tv, as if my response would be something different then i'd saw a guy on legs on tv.

Can't blame ignorance on people if you aren't willing to educate them yourself as one of the best teachers of the subject they could have, but instead allow them to be taught incorrectly by others.

[Adams]

TexasWheelz,

You're absolutley right, Ignorance is not neccessarily a bad thing. That's kinda why I like the unintended joke so much. I appreciate good wheelchair jokes, the Nurse comment seems to come up a lot.

[Hotrodgimp]

A wise man once told me that there were more horses asses than there are horses and after reading these stories I can see that it's true. When someone asks me rudely about what happened to me I usually feed them one of my BS excuses like my parachute didn't open, or the bungee cord was too long, or I was on the bad end of some genetic testing, or I was playing with my home lobotomy kit and I sneezed. You would be surprised how many people respond REALLY?!! Yup,Wise man was right.

[caleb]

I think the one i hate the most is
I Know you pain man i was in a wheelchair once i broke my legs i was in it for like 6 weeks!
hmmm well i know you know how it feels to be in a chair but you have Know clue what its like to be paralyzed

[Trinity]

"So if I hit your legs you wouldn't feel it?"

No, but they might just kick you back, gone on, try it, I dare you!

[Apparelyzed]

"I know what it's like to be in a wheelchair, I had a DVD in my leg last year!"

Yes, that was said to me, and yes, he did say "DVD"!

Simon

[CR_L1]

"ignorance is bliss"

[Dave Bishopstone]

Texaswheelz, on Oct 11 2006, 05:13 AM, said:

I agree with Linda also, but I have to say it's not the questions I have problems with it's the comments or actions that bother me.

I was in Best Buy one day(well I worked there for a bit) and a couple came over and started talking to me and asking about my injury, it didn't bother me at all, as I'd rather people ask then just assume. After a few minutes of talking they left, but a couple of minutes later the returned. They asked me if they could pray for me. So I said sure, go ahead. Little did I know that they meant right then and there. They both put their hands on my head and back and started loudly praying. I'm talking the sort of stuff they do on TV where they "miracously" heal 100 people a night. This lasted for about 5 minutes and I'm just sitting there mortified, thinking my boss is going to come fire my ass or something as half the store can hear them and is coming to see what the commotion is. When they finished they actualy told me to stand and walk because I was cured.

Something similar happened to my son when I attended his church with him, there was a Guest Speaker / Pastor and my son went up with others when invited for 'laying on of hands' - he was surrounded by I don't know how many people each doing their thing - I found that I was getting really uptight and angry, which is surprising as I too believe but I hope realistically. The titanium rods and synex cage in his back weren't just going to disappear. To me the miracle was that someone had the skill to put them in there. Anyway they stopped their performance before I lost my cool - which was probably just as well.

This post has been edited by Dave Bishopstone: 30 August 2008 - 03:47 PM

[Dave Bishopstone]

Many years ago there was a play screened on TV called "Does he take sugar" Which portrayed how AB folk talk over disabled folk as though they do not have the capacity to answer for themselves. Little did I know how much I had been educated by that play and how I would need to use the lesson when our son sustained his SCI.

Maybe it should receive a regular screening! Equally, I'm sure AB folk don't set out to deliberately offend, for those who do however I know the capacity exists to set them straight! something like p.. off!

This post has been edited by Dave Bishopstone: 30 August 2008 - 04:21 PM

[Illinois Boy]

Never say this to us in a crowed building.............

FIRE........

[Webwych]

Being told I'm 'brave'....oh boy, that one grinds my gears! Bravery to me means having two options and choosing the one that carries the most personal risk and doing it anyway because you think that action is the right thing to do. Would I choose this? Would I hell!

[Lucky]

Apparelyzed, on Aug 30 2008, 10:45 AM, said:

"I know what it's like to be in a wheelchair, I had a DVD in my leg last year!"

Yes, that was said to me, and yes, he did say "DVD"!

Simon

OMG..... I'm sorry but in a sad way, thats so funny.

[Murray]

My eldest son converted to Roman Catholicism several years ago, and is quite the zealot. He and I haven't been on the best of terms since I left his mother, his sister and him about 40 yrs ago. After my injury, he wrote me a letter, saying that God punishes sinners for their misdeeds. In other words, I'm a para because of the "sins of my youth."

Goddammit, man! What kind of God do you worship?

He's a good 36-yr-old boy, but hasn't figured stuff out yet. I'll give him another 50 yrs.

No offense intended to those of you on the forum who are spiritual in the traditional sense. I was just caught flat-footed (HA) by my boy's comment.

[disjointed]

Pink Ali, on Oct 3 2006, 04:52 PM, said:

A good friend of mine did ask me earlier if new boyfriend is disabled too! I just had to laugh! This is the same friend the other day who asked whether I'd tired a lavendar heatpack to ease my back pain, but then it did dawn on him that I might not be considering major surgery if that was the answer to my problem!!

I sometimes get comments like "if you put your trust in God, you will be healed." First off, does God regenerate amputated limbs? Uh... no. So, why would God necessarily regenerate damaged innerds? And, perhaps there is a reason I am meant to deal with this stuff (as much as I complain about it), so if there is a God, the plan is not to just heal me. I just get so frustrated when people try to make me feel like it's a lack of faith or effort that keeps me the way I am...

[allis53ca]

don't say : hurry up

[Travelling Blackbird]

Texaswheelz, on Oct 11 2006, 06:13 AM, said:

I agree with Linda also, but I have to say it's not the questions I have problems with it's the comments or actions that bother me.

I was in Best Buy one day(well I worked there for a bit) and a couple came over and started talking to me and asking about my injury, it didn't bother me at all, as I'd rather people ask then just assume. After a few minutes of talking they left, but a couple of minutes later the returned. They asked me if they could pray for me. So I said sure, go ahead. Little did I know that they meant right then and there. They both put their hands on my head and back and started loudly praying. I'm talking the sort of stuff they do on TV where they "miraculously" heal 100 people a night. This lasted for about 5 minutes and I'm just sitting there mortified, thinking my boss is going to come fire my ass or something as half the store can hear them and is coming to see what the commotion is. When they finished they actually told me to stand and walk because I was cured.

I would have been mortified. That's an awesome story to look back on and laugh, but at the time... I don't know if I'd have been able to contain a few choice words.

[Travelling Blackbird]

disabledandbored, on Oct 17 2006, 05:38 PM, said:

A wise man once told me that there were more horses asses than there are horses and after reading these stories I can see that it's true. When someone asks me rudely about what happened to me I usually feed them one of my BS excuses like my parachute didn't open, or the bungee cord was too long, or I was on the bad end of some genetic testing, or I was playing with my home lobotomy kit and I sneezed. You would be surprised how many people respond REALLY?!! Yup,Wise man was right.

Oh, those are some choice ones. Here I thought I was bad for saying "I'm not allowed to talk about the Fight Club"

[Hapahowlee]

Many people ask my husband, "What wrong with you?"

I gave him some possible answers to use to confuse the f*** out of them.

"Well, I think I'm just having a bad hair day, I can't seem to get my part to stay in place."

"I think I have a splinter in my finger and can't seem to get it out."

"I'm constipated, can you really tell?"

[Sven]

CervInstabilityHMSandRSD, on Sep 1 2008, 05:51 AM, said:

I sometimes get comments like "if you put your trust in God, you will be healed." First off, does God regenerate amputated limbs? Uh... no. So, why would God necessarily regenerate damaged innerds? And, perhaps there is a reason I am meant to deal with this stuff (as much as I complain about it), so if there is a God, the plan is not to just heal me. I just get so frustrated when people try to make me feel like it's a lack of faith or effort that keeps me the way I am...

Sometimes I get that a similar comment like that "you'll be healed"-crap.
A friend of mine often tells me how my SCI is just God's punishment for not believing, not going to chuch regularly, not praying before meals, and, most important, geing gay.
Needless to say, we aren't as close as we once were..
Everytime he tells me things like that, I say "oh, your god really seems to be a nice person. Why would anyone not want to pray to somebody so nice and without need for evil revenge.."
But he stills gives me that comment.

[Emily C]

HI, all!!!!

I have a few to add....

Yes, I get the "But you're so pretty" one too.

Today, this lady, who I think was homeless said "WEll, that's one way to get around, huh?" I tried to grinn but I was so annoyed. Like I don't need my scooter, it's just there to look pretty!
"I wish I had me one of those"...Well, stating the correct sentence would be good!!!! Grrrrr!!!
"You've got the right idea with using that here"! Yeah, you're SOOO right!!!

[lee5595]

Was at a wedding, sat right at front....when the vicar asked everyone to stand he looked at me, winked (YES WINKED...i was worried) and waved in a 'you don't have to' manner. LOL

[disjointed]

Sven, on Sep 1 2008, 05:55 PM, said:

CervInstabilityHMSandRSD, on Sep 1 2008, 05:51 AM, said:

I sometimes get comments like "if you put your trust in God, you will be healed." First off, does God regenerate amputated limbs? Uh... no. So, why would God necessarily regenerate damaged innerds? And, perhaps there is a reason I am meant to deal with this stuff (as much as I complain about it), so if there is a God, the plan is not to just heal me. I just get so frustrated when people try to make me feel like it's a lack of faith or effort that keeps me the way I am...

Sometimes I get that a similar comment like that "you'll be healed"-crap.
A friend of mine often tells me how my SCI is just God's punishment for not believing, not going to chuch regularly, not praying before meals, and, most important, geing gay.
Needless to say, we aren't as close as we once were..
Everytime he tells me things like that, I say "oh, your god really seems to be a nice person. Why would anyone not want to pray to somebody so nice and without need for evil revenge.."
But he stills gives me that comment.

Hmmm, you should ask that guy why his Jesus figure was tortured and murdered in his early 30's... what did HE do to deserve it?!
Injuries and disabilities are not about getting what you deserve, being punished, etc. I also don't think it's just random luck of the draw; I need to find meaning in things in order to fully accept them (`a la Edward Whitmont -- if anyone is interested, check out The Symbolic Quest -- and, no, it is not a self-help book as I despise those... ).

Anyhow, as I've said in other forums here, I do hate being in pain all the time and leading a mere vestige of the life I used to enjoy, but I do not think it is for no reason. I have already recognized a great many positive events and special friends that have come into my life as a direct result of my injuries -- things and people that would not have otherwise crossed my path. Best yet, I have been there for people who have needed me -- logistically (because I couldn't be where I wanted to be) and emotionally. I will take that any day over being more active and pain-free, but I still need to rant sometimes...

This post has been edited by CervInstabilityHMSandRSD: 03 September 2008 - 06:36 PM

[Scribbler]

Dave Bishopstone, on Aug 30 2008, 05:17 PM, said:

Many years ago there was a play screened on TV called "Does he take sugar" Which portrayed how AB folk talk over disabled folk as though they do not have the capacity to answer for themselves. Little did I know how much I had been educated by that play and how I would need to use the lesson when our son sustained his SCI.

Maybe it should receive a regular screening! Equally, I'm sure AB folk don't set out to deliberately offend, for those who do however I know the capacity exists to set them straight! something like p.. off!

I know exactly what you mean Dave. My Mother-in-Law never ever spoke to me, she spoke to my wife as if I was either deaf or daft. "Does Mike want another sandwich? Would he like another cup of tea"? They don't know anything else, so I felt sorry for them.

If someone very patronising, like our Vicar, says, "Oh you poor thing, what happened to you"? I just say, "I fell out of a Brothel Window"!! That frightens them off

[Webwych]

Scribbler, on Sep 3 2008, 07:44 PM, said:

If someone very patronising, like our Vicar, says, "Oh you poor thing, what happened to you"? I just say, "I fell out of a Brothel Window"!! That frightens them off

[Sven]

CervInstabilityHMSandRSD, on Sep 3 2008, 06:30 PM, said:

Sven, on Sep 1 2008, 05:55 PM, said:

Sometimes I get that a similar comment like that "you'll be healed"-crap.
A friend of mine often tells me how my SCI is just God's punishment for not believing, not going to chuch regularly, not praying before meals, and, most important, geing gay.
Needless to say, we aren't as close as we once were..
Everytime he tells me things like that, I say "oh, your god really seems to be a nice person. Why would anyone not want to pray to somebody so nice and without need for evil revenge.."
But he stills gives me that comment.

Hmmm, you should ask that guy why his Jesus figure was tortured and murdered in his early 30's... what did HE do to deserve it?!

That idea is GREAT! Thanks! I'll definitely say that next time he tries to talk to me about getting punished.

[wuzzbie]

Hi I have been trying to think of a word that describes the kind of people that say the "10 things never to say to a disabled person" more often then ur average person, for example u could say 'omg those *insert word here* say the f*@king stupidest things' and would really like some good ideas as soo far pretty blank. tbh i dont find most of the 10 things that offensive but some people are ust f*@king weird like i went to collect this school award and at the hall that the ceremony was in this woman came up to me and said well we have a problem everyone else is going to be coming to the stage on the right but the wheelchair access is on the left so what do u want to do about that.... ermm well duh i think ill stick with everyone else... oh no wait i forgot i cant temporarily walk just because everyone else will be. Soo yeah any ideas on good words for referring to people totally inept at talking to people with disabilities/crippled people (depending on ur preference) would be much appreciated.

[eleanorigby]

I hate it when people ask me if I want to race or if I race other people in chairs. So annoying. I used to say snarky things to these comments, but I found that just saying no and looking at the asker as if they were insane is quite effective too.

One of the professors in a class I'm currently taking is so funny when it comes to my wheelchair, but it's quickly becoming annoying. He apologizes all the time to me. Like, if we do a class activity where we have to move around the room (which is not a problem for me at all), he'll get so flustered and apologize to me. This has happened several times and I keep reassuring him that it's okay, that's what the wheelchair is there for, to move me around, but he just gets so flustered and looks so guilty! I almost feel bad for him, lol.

[bantughost]

cdngrl, on Sep 19 2006, 03:18 AM, said:

I get that all the time so I start singing really loud so they have to notice me.

... I whistle the tune from the movie "Psycho"

I went to the same uni as my younger brother. We were roomies and used to hang out together a lot. On a few occasions people, girls mostly, used to ask him if I could speak and whether or not it was okay if they talked to me. It used to piss him off more than it would me. He would simply point at me and shrug his shoulders . I would continue whistling until they spoke to me directly.

Thinking of it now, this was sort of what used to happen back in "Walkie-land" whenever I was out walking my Alsatian pup Doggie [yeah, cool name huh? long story]. Sometimes people would stop me and say "What a nice puppy. Mind if I pat his head?" Tell you what if any one were actually ever to pat me on the head... without permission... I'd have no qualms about biting their hand off!

[Manda]

I always get that whole Bravery,and Strength thing,
But, My favorite is,If anyone can do this it's you.....
WOW,Is that the craziest thing you've ever heard!!!!