112 replies to this topic

[htwhlz97]

Joed, on Nov 21 2006, 05:17 AM, said:

I could see the horror in their eyes. I guess the idea of their son in a w/c for any reason was unacceptable to them.

He had a blast though.

Thats exactly what I'm talking about. That feeling from someone else and their fears, phobias or taboos. I think really what it may be, is the reality that it could happen so someone they love and cherish. And they cant face that and its scares them. I dont know but I wish they wouldnt see it that way because I start to feel and question myself as being wrong for letting them sit in it.

Icarus That was funny. That would be so cool to have all the extra chairs I have around for seating so they have no choice but to sit in it. hahaha

Edited by htwhlz97, 21 November 2006 - 08:05 PM.

[advanced-mobiity]

when I first started in the Mobility Business, I drove powerchairs everywhere. It was not only how to get used to them but to get a perspective of how someone who has to live in one can function and do all your days activities. I found it so frustrating and irritating how others look down upon people in chairs like their an inconvience. Just motoring through a grocery store the looks I received. Some people were nice and tried to help reach items for me while others just shook their head and walked away.

I have found that experience so heart felt that I made my two children (ages 13 and 7) each use a chair for a shopping trip. Both kids came out of it changed and now have a better understanding and appreciation for a chair bound person. My son (7) especially loves going with me now to my customers. He regularly gets really attached to my customers and gives them hugs and kisses just to let them know they are loved.
Shaun

[CaptDave4499]

I let my daughter sit in my chair. She has a better understanding about my life and needs.

[htwhlz97]

Excellent parenting Shaun. We need more parents like you around, of course happening to be in the mobility business always helps. Being part of the solution and not part of the problem. Keep up the good work. Thx

[newtous]

My husband let me sit in his. I never thought to ask if that bother him. My kids always sit in his chair if he is not in it. I tried to go up the ramp with his chair or push over the gravel driveway we have. I must say it is hard work. Sometimes I feel bad because when I get tired. I get to get up and walk.

[icarus_melt76]

Shaun

Good shot....got me right inna gut. Especially about your kids trying 'everything' in a chair for best perspective. My dealers are blind to the user's side. Good on ya!

[TonysWoman2451]

When my boyfriend and I were on our cruise our room was VERY small. There was barely enough room for his HUGE power chair let alone 3 people. Well anyway, it was like 2 in the morning and I wanted to watch TV but there was no place to go where I would be able to see it, so he told me to sit in his chair.. I argued with him about it for a good 30 min because I didn't feel it was appropriate, but he instisted. Well it was just my luck that when I sat in it, it flew foward .. aparently I forgot to turn it off when I put him in bed. LOL...

I guess everyone has different views on it, but I would NEVER ask to sit in someones chair.

[Texaswheelz]

htwhlz97, on Nov 21 2006, 01:00 PM, said:

Joed, on Nov 21 2006, 05:17 AM, said:

I could see the horror in their eyes. I guess the idea of their son in a w/c for any reason was unacceptable to them.

He had a blast though.

Thats exactly what I'm talking about. That feeling from someone else and their fears, phobias or taboos. I think really what it may be, is the reality that it could happen so someone they love and cherish. And they cant face that and its scares them. I dont know but I wish they wouldnt see it that way because I start to feel and question myself as being wrong for letting them sit in it.

That's why I don't mind letting people sit in it, people being hung up about something like their kid sitting in a chair, even if that chair has wheels is ridiculus to me. I've made a lot of parents mad for letting kids in my chair then they want their kids out but don't want to upset the kids or insult me. A good friend of my in-laws is like that, they come over every X-mas while i'm there and I'm always on the couch, his daughter who is 13 now loves my chair and for 8 years gets 1 day to do wheelies(whith me holding of course). Her dad gets upset and doesn't like her in it for some reason. Her mom doesn't care and even sets in it some, her older brother begs her to let him in it, but her dad gets all freaked out about it.

[HollieIzzo]

To be honest I can understand why some people are uncomfortable with people sitting in their chair, but personally for me I find it gets rid if that 'don't even look at her coz she's made of glass' attitude that some people have

I have an electric chair that I use in the house, and an old manual chair for upstairs as well as the new manual one I use out and about and at work

I have a 15 year old brother and him and all of his mates go in my chairs - (typical boys - anything with wheels is of interest) - the only one I won't let them in is the new one because they usually end up on their heads when they try and do a wheely and it cost me a lot

I am happy for them to do it - many of them try and do things like make a drink and always comment on how difficult it is - it seems to act as an eye opener and break that strange barrier that some people have when they're not sure how to talk to you

I would prefer for people, especially kids, to be able to feel comfortable around me - I hate that feeling when a naturally curious kid is chastised by their parents for touching my chair - the stigma soon rubs off on them and they start shying away from anyone a bit different as they get older

Just my opinion but each to their own

[wheeliebear75]

To me my chair is an extention of me in a odd sort of way. So having people sit in my chair is like having someone barrow my PJ's or slippers or such. If Mom comes along thats one thing...if the neighbor stopped in to say hello climbed on in I would NOT be happy about it. And as for my kids they can pop wheelies and spin with the best of PT staff. By age 2 the little stinkers can figure out how to push the wheels to go with some fair amount of accuracy.

bigsmiles, on Sep 26 2006, 05:29 PM, said:

Well not sure about the kids but i often sit in my boyfriends chair when hes not in. Why, do you find this annoying then?

[wheeliebear75]

I tell people my chairs are made of "an ocular magnetic alloy"...a.k.a.eyeball magnet. I've had some friends tople end over end, and try to make a meal...it does make ABs C what we go through.

HollieIzzo, on Nov 28 2006, 08:30 PM, said:

To be honest I can understand why some people are uncomfortable with people sitting in their chair, but personally for me I find it gets rid if that 'don't even look at her coz she's made of glass' attitude that some people have

I have an electric chair that I use in the house, and an old manual chair for upstairs as well as the new manual one I use out and about and at work

I have a 15 year old brother and him and all of his mates go in my chairs - (typical boys - anything with wheels is of interest) - the only one I won't let them in is the new one because they usually end up on their heads when they try and do a wheely and it cost me a lot

I am happy for them to do it - many of them try and do things like make a drink and always comment on how difficult it is - it seems to act as an eye opener and break that strange barrier that some people have when they're not sure how to talk to you

I would prefer for people, especially kids, to be able to feel comfortable around me - I hate that feeling when a naturally curious kid is chastised by their parents for touching my chair - the stigma soon rubs off on them and they start shying away from anyone a bit different as they get older

Just my opinion but each to their own

[wanting.that.newz]

I don't mind people sitting in my chair, I mean...people are curious, it's not their fault! I remember my friend doing in and she ran over a cute guy and I laughed so hard! But, I don't mind people using my chair, as long as they ask! Well, except for Myria, I don't trust her anymore lol

[HollieIzzo]

wanting.that.newz, on Dec 9 2006, 08:59 PM, said:

I don't mind people sitting in my chair, I mean...people are curious, it's not their fault! I remember my friend doing in and she ran over a cute guy and I laughed so hard! But, I don't mind people using my chair, as long as they ask! Well, except for Myria, I don't trust her anymore lol

Interesting way to get someones attention...

[wanting.that.newz]

HollieIzzo, on Dec 10 2006, 12:23 PM, said:

wanting.that.newz, on Dec 9 2006, 08:59 PM, said:

I don't mind people sitting in my chair, I mean...people are curious, it's not their fault! I remember my friend doing in and she ran over a cute guy and I laughed so hard! But, I don't mind people using my chair, as long as they ask! Well, except for Myria, I don't trust her anymore lol

Interesting way to get someones attention...

Ya, I guess you could put it that way ahaha! I'm actually going to tell her that, and for some reason, I can almost garuntee she'll want to sit in my chair...again... i dont think I should trust telling her that actually... thanks for the reply!

[gsp23]

My mom and sisters come over to my house every couple of weeks to help clean. My sisters bring with their kids (except one neice who is 16 and would rather be with her boyfriend than anywhere else). So I have 2 nephews and 1 neice over who like to play with my wheelchair. They take turns and usually end up arguing, although this weekend they were playing evil doctor where my one nephew put people in the wheelchair and wheeled them into a room where he did surgery on them and killed them

Anyways, I figure it is good for them to use the chair so they can see what its like to get around. The one problem I have found is that even though they all think its fun, they say they are glad they dont have to use it all the time except for one nephew. He says its fun and wishes he had a wheelchair. I tried explaining to him that he wouldnt be able to do a lot of the things he can do now and he kept saying "so" I just dont think he was really getting it. Anyone have any thoughts on how I could show him how difficult life in a wheelchair really is? He can get around to most of the rooms in my house, my bathroom is difficult to get into but I dont want him beating up the woodwork trying to get in and out of that room. I was thinking about going out in the yard with him or even having him go down the street with me to my mailbox and back (if he can make it up my dirt driveway). I could give him my folding chair which has 1.5 in wide casters and I could even put the knobby tires on his chair and I take the street tread, my only fear is what if he actually does make it? Then he would continue to think that it was cool and something he wished he used all the time. If I dont give him the knobby tires then he will complain that he could have done it if he had them so he would definatly need those. I dont think he will make it cause he is 10yrs old and trying to get around in an adult chair that is 16" wide and 18" long though and dont think he will put together that if he was in a wheelchair he would have smaller one.

[rilee101]

john d, on Sep 26 2006, 01:33 PM, said:

when i'm not in my chair,everybody sits in mine.the only thing that really bothers me is i set my wheelchair at an angle so it is easy for me to get in it.and then somebody comes by and moves my wheelchair.

I feel that same way. I will lay down sometimes and wake up and my chair is across the room. I have to struggle to get it back where it needs to be. I also can not fit my chair in the bathroom with me so I have to stand up and walk in the bathroom and my son always moves it by the time I get out and need it. I love doing wheelies in it though. I always take my son or other little kids I know for rides. We do wheelies and spin around doing 360s. It is always fun.

[Tonyc5/6]

im often asked if it is hard to control my chair so i usually just let people take it for a spin to see for themselves. i figure if they are curious about it let them sit in it all they want. just dont break it. no harm no foul.

[rkzenrage]

When I was on vacation my three-year-old and our friend's four-year-old loved taking turns sitting on my lap and steering my power-chair.
My son calls it "going swo", I turn the speed way down... his steering leaves a lot to be desired, crashing is still his favorite game... hey, he is three.
My uncle wanted to "supe-up" my chair after riding in it, until I explained to him how much that would hurt me. That I could not handle it. He did not like that it did not "corner fast enough". I think that opened him up to more than just my not being able to do stuff.

As long as they are cool about it, I don't mind. I take my cushion with me.

[Travelling Blackbird]

LadyPilot, on Sep 29 2006, 08:38 AM, said:

Not sure if this counts, but my cat ignores the "10 second rule" and is on it immediatley I vacate it. Nothing to do with heat because she has her own heat pad on the bed. She never sits on my lap. Funny old cat.

All four cats I've had loved the wheelchair, and would get straight up on it as soon as I transferred. I don't think it's a heat thing either. I think it's a scent thing. Cats really like things that smell a bit sweaty. Not so sweaty that we'd think they reeked, but, you know, a bit used. Old T-shirts, wheelchair cushions...

Joed, on Nov 21 2006, 05:17 AM, said:

I could see the horror in their eyes. I guess the idea of their son in a w/c for any reason was unacceptable to them.

He had a blast though.

That's kind of what bothers me. On the one hand, I like the idea of being able to educate someone, to show them what being in a wheelchair feels like, to maybe help them understand better some of my issues. On the other hand, there's a part of me gets really bothered by seeing someone I care about in a wheelchair. It's out of my control: it's almost like a phobia.

I usually let the educational benefit win, and let the person try it out, but I'm always really cautious. No wheelies, no curb drops, no jumps...

[ems]

I do sort of understand people saying, the chair is part of you, or its like a pair of shoes. If it was like my fountain pen, then sure I wouldnt let anyone use it! But I'm not possesive over my wheelchair! It's just a chair at the end of the day. I've never minded my firends or friends kids sitting in it, a few have fallen out, sure, and I'm always really carefull with kids unles they've been in it loads already, we always show them what tipping backwards feels like, and if they dont want to sit in it anymore, thats fine ;) Some kids laugh and.. and some arent quite so daring hehee

I'm pretty tough with my chairs, I don't do" be nice to my new chair " stuff, the first week I had this chair I threw it down someones steps, she was pregnant and i didnt want her carrying it.. at the end of the day its a piece of metal, and its replaceable.. a few scratches wont hurt it, and the most that will hurt if a friend tips out of it backwards, is that persons head may hurt a bit !! The back rigidizer bar hits the ground first some may have the backrest hit the ground, and so what, I may fall out of it occasionally, and I dont break it .. just by falling out!! I cant think how anyone will damage the chair just by having a go either.

I fall out at least once every couple of months, not cos I cant control my chair, just cos I'm usually trying to do something that jsut pushes it over the boundary. English beaches for instance. I was determined a week ago that my dog should find the sea. She just loves water. She wouldnt follow anyone down there, so I had to do it myself. I got down the beach fine got down to the waters edge fine.. I got out and bummed up the hilloy bits dragging my chair, and once I'd reached the flat, I still couldnt push properly. So I went backwards.. its the only way I can really push on the beach. I fell out twice. I was going backwheelbaalancing with my knees to my chest going backwards on large stones.. my rims are pretty scratched up from the stones.. but it doesnt actually matter


I think its funny watching other ppl use it, they get a kick out of it, and think about you more. They understand just maybe 5% more than they did before sitting in it.

At basketball, we are allways trying eachothers chairs out, and I mean trying them out properly. I'll quite happily swap chair with someone for a whole game, subtle differences in chairs, may mean a faster better turning chair, we do it all the time!! I want to know how a chair reacts when I'm marking someone one and they run in to me.


Dogs and cats dive bomb it as soon as my bum leaves the cushion. As long as they dont puncture it, I dont care ;)

[CR_L1]

Travelling Blackbird where did you dig this old thread up from..LOL
Glad you did though it’s a good topic.

I have found I’m very possessive of my cushion & get very upset if anyone sits on it, sad I know it’s only a cushion but I don’t want the gel punctured. As for the chair I’m not as possessive, I don’t mine anyone sitting in it if they ask first, even good friends have seen my dark side when they have just sat in it without asking, again sad but then most of them don’t realize how much it’s cost me & perhaps that’s why I’m like I am about it.

Mind you most of my AB friends that have sat in it don’t for long, the novelty soon goes (perhaps they feel out of place)

[Travelling Blackbird]

ems, on Jun 10 2009, 05:27 PM, said:

I do sort of understand people saying, the chair is part of you, or its like a pair of shoes. If it was like my fountain pen, then sure I wouldnt let anyone use it! But I'm not possesive over my wheelchair! It's just a chair at the end of the day.

I'm pretty tough with my chairs, I don't do" be nice to my new chair " stuff, the first week I had this chair I threw it down someones steps, she was pregnant and i didnt want her carrying it.. at the end of the day its a piece of metal, and its replaceable.. a few scratches wont hurt it, and the most that will hurt if a friend tips out of it backwards, is that persons head may hurt a bit !!

I've never thought of the wheelchair being like a part of me, or being as personal as a pair of shoes. It is certainly an expensive piece of equipment, and it does have to fitted right for the user, but that doesn't make me feel possessive of it. I get more uncomfortable with the idea of someone hurting themselves while trying out some of the things they've seen me do, not that they'll hurt the chair. The chair's plenty tough, but the spine isn't...

CR_L1, on Jun 10 2009, 06:33 PM, said:

Travelling Blackbird where did you dig this old thread up from..LOL
Glad you did though it’s a good topic.

I have found I’m very possessive of my cushion & get very upset if anyone sits on it, sad I know it’s only a cushion but I don’t want the gel punctured. As for the chair I’m not as possessive, I don’t mine anyone sitting in it if they ask first, even good friends have seen my dark side when they have just sat in it without asking, again sad but then most of them don’t realize how much it’s cost me & perhaps that’s why I’m like I am about it.

Mind you most of my AB friends that have sat in it don’t for long, the novelty soon goes (perhaps they feel out of place)

I was checking through some old topics to see if anyone had already done the poll I wanted to do, so as not to repeat things, and I found this thread, and thought it was a good one for resurrection.

The cost of the chair is an interesting point to bring up. The reactions I get from friends when they realize that a wheelchair can cost more than a second-hand car are awesome. Even if medical insurance pays a certain amount, there's still quite a sum to pay, usually. You can see them doing the math: How much would I have to give up to be able to afford one if I needed one?

My friends who have sat into the chair have never sat for more than five minutes or so. They always complain about how difficult it is to get used to turning, and how much it moves if they don't keep a hand in control or the break on.

[LeahC]

I like to hog the sofa so other than the floor my wheelchair is the only place to sit lol! My housemate sits in it when we have dinner and says it's comfy. My friends sit in it too but they always ask, sometimes they take it for a spin and it shows them how awkward getting about can be.

[Trinity]

I don't have an issue with people having a go in my chair, it's quite tippy and the first they they normally do is flip over backwards! Watching drunk people back wheel balance is always amusing too. I don't think it would be possible to break a chair that easily so that's not a worry for me. I think most of my friends have tried it out at some point or another and thankfully no one has done themselves any damage except for scare themselves a bit. No one has ever done it without asking first My niece likes to put her dolls in my chair and she then proudly pushes them around the house however when she gets bored of her game there is always a little bit of persuasion needed to get her to bring it back to me and not just abandon it in the garden!

My cat loves my chair, she will take any opportunity to sit on it whether I am in it or not, I do worry about her clawing my cushion but so far so good. She also claws my wheels which was fine when I had solid tyres on it however now I have pneumatics she gets shouted at!

[twisted_ophelia]

I only let really people I know well sit or play around in my chair but no one fits in my chair now anyway as my newest one is 14". I also get amused watching friends attempt to do wheelies, etc. Like Trin, my chair is really tippy so they almost always fall over. I'm not worried by breaking my chair, I'm more worried about friends breaking THEMSELVES I would never let a stranger sit in my chair. That creeps me out. I don't even like strangers TOUCHING my chair, nevermind sitting in it. I'm pretty tough on my chairs as well so they get pretty beat up over time but I guess I'm just one of those who feels like my chair is a 'part of me' and a stranger being in it is weird. Does that make sense? 99% of the people I know offline are AB but the offline friends I have who are also in chairs, I've jumped in their chairs, and have no problem swapping with to them so they can use/try out mine.

Edited to add that my cats also seem to enjoy sitting in my chair when I'm not in it but I'm not a big fan of that because they claw the cushion and could puncture the gel portion. When I'm in bed, I usually just throw a hoodie over my cushion so that if the cats sit in there while I'm sleeping, at least they won't kill the cushion.

Edited by twisted_ophelia, 11 June 2009 - 04:34 PM.

[graphic]

trinity, on Jun 11 2009, 02:24 PM, said:

Watching drunk people back wheel balance is always amusing too.

Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!!!! What are you doing hanging out with drunk people????
I don't mind anyone trying my chair if they want, it can be quite amusing. It was only after my nieces grew up that I found out they'd always wanted to try my chair but my sister didn't like to ask. Now they've grown up they've declined the offer. I find my cats love sleeping on my chair but I hate having to brush their fur off every morning before I use it and as much as I tell myself I must take the cushion off before going to bed I always forget.

[blckchns]

I usually don't mind people sitting in my chair. As long as I get it back when I ask. But I seem to care less on the nights when we're all out drinking. As long as they keep my hands full, I really don't care, lol

[Slowlegs]

When I was in my chair I used to let my brothers wheel themselves around in it. Then they would leave it somewhere and I'd have to call for them to bring it back or drag my ass to wherever they left it.

My Dad used to go ape at them because he thought it was tempting fate. I never really minded until they started playing outside with it, playing rally cars with it one day on our slippery front concrete they popped both tyres by tearing the side walls as they were perished. They didn't ride it much after that and a while later I didn't need it any more.

[edlee]

I haven't thought about it much,, as I'm seldom out of it. I don't look at it like a toothbrush or any thing all that personal,, after all,, it's just a tool. I never worried about lending tools to anyone if they took care of them and brought them back.

I doubt that I would be all that anxious to get out of mine to let them try,,, but, then, no one has asked me to, yet, so I might.

The idea of letting others find out for themselves, some of the limitations we are under,, is a good one. The idea of "walking a mile in another's shoes" is , I think, an apt analogy.
ed

[blewslurpeas]

I always like it if somebody sat in my chair. To me if made me feel like they were comfortable with me so I took it as a compliment. If a kid wants to sit in it, I let them but I tell them they can sit in it but they can't move it because I'm afraid of them hurting themselves or destroying the house Other than that, I enjoy it, it makes me feel that the person is comfortable with the disability.