6 replies to this topic

[ericck]

hi every1 need some serious help, im a male quad c5.I have 4 children who live w/me and wife.I was the sole income provider,since injury 2 yrs ago kim started working p/t.kim and i have been together 19 years.She has athritis in her back, knees and s/times it moves to her hand its called rumitory athritis.So she stayed home raiseing our family,which worked 4 us.I still take care of most all finacial obligations and still handle any emergencys ,be rock of family.Just soooo much stress its eatng me up inside,i dont want my family 2 know with the level of my injury and stress its sickening sometimes.I know u will say tune down but 20 years of old hatbit is hard 2 break.Need views of what i can do 2 feel better?

Edited by ericck, 29 September 2006 - 05:53 AM.

[miss piggy]

Hi ericck
The only advise i can give you is talk to your wife . You are going to make yourself really ill if you don't . Just sharing some of what you feel with her might make you feel better . If your wife is like me she would have picked up already that you are down .Then we worry and things never get sorted .Sorry i can't help but please try and talk to her ,before you make yourself ill

[Joed]

I agree with miss piggy. You need to communicate these things or it will only progress and worsen. With your wife's health issues, maybe it's time to consider someone coming in to help with the heavier work? Even once a week, or every other week would make a difference.

[Airdna]

Hi Ericck

Tell us more details. Think hard and tell us what exactly are the key factors that give you the most stress.

One it will make you think hard and in detail about it, so when you are ready to talk to your family it will be clearer in your mind.

Two it just helps to talk and get it off you chest and that in itself will make you feel better.

We are all here to listen and help. You can rant and moan to us as much as you like and we might give answers or solutions that you don't expect which may open your mind a little bit more to make things better.

Look forward to hearing from you

Take care

Andria x

[ericck]

I hear you.Ok i guess the thing that stresses me the most is that im not there 4 my family like i use to be.More physically then mentally, i guess u can say its a man thing.When i first got injuryed i felt just happy 2 have survived,feeling i will be walking in ample time.Ample time has passed.It just feels like im constantly fighting either my injury or something dealing with family problems,with my family lately its been a lot but i will save that 4 another post.I just needed to talk to somebody that knows what im going through,or can feel what its like with pressure of keeping things together in trying times .Thanks 4 letting me rant.

Edited by ericck, 30 September 2006 - 05:12 AM.

[mrsE]

I would definately say to have a good talk with the whole family and delagate any jobs even small ones for the kids to share the load. They may all be thinking that you like all the responsability and that it helps you keep the your independance beeing head of the household. Letting your family know how you are feeling will feel like a load of stress being lifted anyway. They would not want you to feel that way and will love the chance to help - and it is good for children of any age to have something they are resposable for even just a household chore or helping to balance the cheque book. I know I would hate it if my husband was feeling stressed and did note share how how was feeling with me because stress affects the whole body and can make you very ill mentally and physically and just a few changes that I could do could help aleviate it but only if I was told exactly what things were stressing him. Sorry - a biy of a rant. Go out for a nice meal and just talk.

[bigsmiles]

Hi Ericck and nice to meet you, well you certainly have alot on your plate it seems. I agree with what the others are saying to talk with your wife (a problem shared and all that) never truer words spoken) your wife also must have a great deal to contend with as rhumatoid artritis is bad in itself, and how many kids ? wow you have been busy but seriously though i can imagine as a man who has always been the provider of the family and no doubt a man who always looked after his lady (family) that this must knock at your self esteem. However although things are somewhat (alot) different these days you are still the man she met and fell for and you are still the man thats there for her to run to when needed...just a bit different thats all( in sickness and in health) you know what i mean. We all have a breaking point when we say we can't take anymore and times when things seem so bad we can't imagine them getting better ..but they do(not over night) everything takes time, but you will get there. Stand back in your mind and look at things from the outside looking in and see what you need to do to get on track again. Get a bottle of wine and sit down with your wife and talk to her and let her know whats going on....get some help if needed as its all out there for you and talk to people on here who know so much more than me , people who know what you are going through...and i hope to chat again in the near future to a happier Errick, all the best Sarah