Jump to content


Welcome to the Apparelyzed Spinal Cord Injury and Cauda Equina Syndrome Support Forum


Sign In  Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter

Create Account
Welcome to Apparelyzed, an active and vibrant spinal cord injury and cauda equina syndrome support forum. Like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be apart of our spinal cord injury support community by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get email updates
  • Get your own profile page and make new friends
  • Send personal messages to other members.
  • Talk to others in real time in the Chat Room
We look forward to welcoming you to our community and reading your contributions and questions.
 
Simon
Forum Administrator.
 

Photo
- - - - -

Things You Hear When You're Disabled!

patronising thoughtless ignorance disability hate disability coments



  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#1 Apparelyzed

Apparelyzed

    The Boss!

  • **Admin
  • 4,802 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:UK
  • Spinal Injury Level:C5/6 Anterior Cord
  • Injury Date:02-01-1992

Posted 28 January 2013 - 02:20 PM

I was reading Twitter earlier, and noticed the Hashtag #heardwhilstdisabled

 

Take a look, and add some of your experiences here.

 

I always remember an old man saying to me "I was in a wheelchair once, I had a DVD and couldn't walk, so I know how you feel"!

 

Simon :doh:


Posted Image   Posted Image
Follow the Apparelyzed Forum on our Facebook and Twitter feeds.


#2 cripplechick73

cripplechick73

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 145 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA, Michigan's pinky
  • Spinal Injury Level:L1/T12 Complete Para
  • Injury Date:27-05-1978

Posted 28 January 2013 - 02:41 PM

The counselor who congratulated me for not smelling like pee still takes the AB DB cake imho lolol :doh:


  • Tetracyclone, NancyE, skeetie and 1 other like this
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
-William James

#3 Ferreira

Ferreira

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 379 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Portugal
  • Spinal Injury Level:T1

Posted 28 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

The counselor who congratulated me for not smelling like pee still takes the AB DB cake imho lolol :doh:

 Oh boy..that was some disabled fellow....


  • cripplechick73 likes this

#4 Kwag_Myers

Kwag_Myers

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,207 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South-East Michigan
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12 Incomplete/CES
  • Injury Date:11-08-2007

Posted 28 January 2013 - 03:53 PM

I posted this first one in another thread, but couldn't find it. So,

Where I am currently working (I do a lot of contract work, so I'm always changing jobs) I use a side entrance. After working here for a couple months I had to go to the front lobby for something. When the receptionist saw me she asked, "What happened?" Then followed up with, "Oh, that's right. You were in a wheelchair when you started."

My wife and daughter were discussing the perils of long drives. My wife has me (who has to stop every four hours and takes forever in the men's room) and my daughter has three kids, seven, four, and almost two. My daughter says, "Well, at least you don't have one in diap..." then remembered that sometimes my wife does indeed have one in diapers. We got a good laugh at that one.

Edited by Kwag_Myers, 28 January 2013 - 03:54 PM.

  • cripplechick73, JerseyBoy, BeachBlonde and 1 other like this
'Cause that's how I roll! Posted Image

#5 edlee

edlee

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5,629 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South Western Pa
  • Spinal Injury Level:t-10 complete
  • Injury Date:11-18-2004

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Big difference in WHO is making the remarks,, with family,, it ends up funny,,, with strangers,,, not so much.

ed


  • Tiggz likes this

#6 D. Smith

D. Smith

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 560 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Elizabethton, TN
  • Spinal Injury Level:T10 Complete
  • Injury Date:29-04-2010

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:28 PM

I had a little girl look at me and then turn to her mom and say "Look mommy, that man aint got no legs!"  The mom then promptly did this... Nothing.  Still have to thank my gf at the time...  I was gonna smack that little girl with my non existent legs!


  • St. Peter and cripplechick73 like this
When in Rome, go naked! --xbox360 tag: Ice764
-- You have to crawl before you walk; You have to slide before you depress; You have to love before you live. --

#7 Tetracyclone

Tetracyclone

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 9,040 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Upstate New York, USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:C-5-7 incomplete
  • Injury Date:27-05-2008

Posted 28 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

off th twitter feed I liked this best:

 

#heardwhilstdisabled At ATOS Assessment. So You've tried to commit suicide? How come you're still alive then?http://



#8 Gabita Hm

Gabita Hm

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 273 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Mexico
  • Spinal Injury Level:C6-C7
  • Injury Date:27-07-2012

Posted 28 January 2013 - 10:41 PM

I was at the movies and asked about the seat for wheelchairs. The guy told me that they didnt have a space for that so I had to stand up and walk. He wasnt rude or something he kust spoke out what was in his mind. I was like what? Are you serious do people really think I preffer being in my weelchair? I asked another person at the movies and was able to watch my movie.
Feet. What do I need you for when I have wings to fly?

#9 mcjane

mcjane

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 93 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:north central florida
  • Spinal Injury Level:T5/6 complete single

Posted 28 January 2013 - 10:49 PM

SO I joined Twitter to follow  #heardwhilstdisabled...and there is no such user ???   This topic has been on my mind lately.  It's kinda funny.  My most memorable was when a guy said "I heard what happened to you and thought 'her life is ruined'.."  I said "Well, my life has CHANGED..."  and he insisted  "Your life is RUINED!"   The other one is "So, when are you gonna walk again?"  Gee, I hate to disappoint people....


  • Randy65 likes this

#10 nknight.92

nknight.92

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 326 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA, North Dakota
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12-L2 Incomplete
  • Injury Date:21-07-2012

Posted 29 January 2013 - 01:32 AM

I think that's the question I hate the worst: When are you gonna walk again? Yeah, like one day I'm just gonna wake up one day and be perfectly abled again! I wish!
  • cripplechick73 likes this

#11 Big D

Big D

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,455 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:USA/North Cackalacky
  • Spinal Injury Level:T-dozen complete
  • Injury Date:04-01-2012

Posted 29 January 2013 - 01:53 AM

Lady cutting my hair: "Are you going to walk again?"

 

Me: "No."

 

"Oh anything is possible!"

 

What bitch, you want me to pray to jesus? Yeah my spine is completely severed so I don't think I'll be walking again. Big whoop.


  • Ratticis, cripplechick73 and nknight.92 like this

190px-Joe_Swanson2.png

Gimpin' ain't easy.


#12 Tetracyclone

Tetracyclone

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 9,040 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Upstate New York, USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:C-5-7 incomplete
  • Injury Date:27-05-2008

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:22 AM

Lady cutting my hair: "Are you going to walk again?"

 

Me: "No."

 

"Oh anything is possible!"

 

What bitch, you want me to pray to jesus? Yeah my spine is completely severed so I don't think I'll be walking again. Big whoop.

I think I will believe if you donate this haircut for free...



#13 Ratticis

Ratticis

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 8,440 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Vermilion, Alberta, Canada
  • Spinal Injury Level:T4 Complete(ly insane)
  • Injury Date:07-08-2007

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:43 AM

Obviously we're just not eating enough fish


  • cripplechick73, Big D, Ferret and 2 others like this

 HANDICAPPED HOTRODS 2ND ANNUAL CAR SHOW

http://socialarchite...4?layout=single


#14 NancyE

NancyE

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,755 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:T3 incomplete
  • Injury Date:27-01-2006

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:45 AM

The doctor at psych hospital suggested I lose weight, would be better for health. I said great idea, what do you suggest? Wait for it....................WALKING helped his wife. I laughed hysterically while he looked at me in confusion, then said yea, it would probably help me too.
  • cripplechick73 and Tiggz like this
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin and Hobbes

#15 cripplechick73

cripplechick73

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 145 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA, Michigan's pinky
  • Spinal Injury Level:L1/T12 Complete Para
  • Injury Date:27-05-1978

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

Obviously we're just not eating enough fish

 

Seriously.

 

Apparently I lack will :lol: Oh yes, Jesus too.

 

I had some shitty charlatans tell me recently they would cure my cancer and get me walking if I just believed in their god and their bad medicine. A friend who suffered a stretched cord and recovered 20 years ago even chastised me without having any knowledge of my injury, "You just have to want it!" Then they had the audacity to malign me for not giving them an endorsement. Aaahhh yeah :crazy:

 

I love the old thread it has some serious funnies: http://www.apparelyz...h-disabilities/

 

But it occurs to me this is a slightly different question. "Things you hear..." that brings to mind the desexualization and dehumanization we all deal with. I've had countless AB people carry on (very) private conversations in front of me, and then maybe 5 minutes later look at me in shock when they realize I'm a person with ears and a mouth who might repeat what I heard. After 34 years I've grown to enjoy those moments, just a little.


  • Ratticis and Tiggz like this
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
-William James

#16 Apparelyzed

Apparelyzed

    The Boss!

  • **Admin
  • 4,802 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:UK
  • Spinal Injury Level:C5/6 Anterior Cord
  • Injury Date:02-01-1992

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

SO I joined Twitter to follow  #heardwhilstdisabled...and there is no such user ???

After clicking the link in the start of this topic, when you see #heardwhilstdisabled on Twitter, click it and you'll see all the comments. I don't think it's a user as such, more of a topic identifier.

 

Simon


Posted Image   Posted Image
Follow the Apparelyzed Forum on our Facebook and Twitter feeds.


#17 BeachBlonde

BeachBlonde

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 10 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:T8 complete (ASIA A)
  • Injury Date:05-06-2008

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:21 PM

I have a couple that I hear that tend to really annoy me – frequently the two are used together and, for some reason, and usually by seasoned citizens.  In a typical situation, I will be sitting in a checkout line at a store and I will be approached by someone who tells me that I am far too pretty to be in a wheelchair.  That is not too bad, but more often than not, for some reason that comment is generally followed by something like “I know ‘so-and-so-person’ who was in a wheelchair like you but they were able to walk after a while – you just need to work harder at it!”.  Sometimes I get the Trifecta and they pat me on the head when they are finished...ARRRRRG!  



 



#18 D. Smith

D. Smith

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 560 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Elizabethton, TN
  • Spinal Injury Level:T10 Complete
  • Injury Date:29-04-2010

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:45 PM

Oh hell, the dreaded pat on the head...  Why do people find that is okay to do???


When in Rome, go naked! --xbox360 tag: Ice764
-- You have to crawl before you walk; You have to slide before you depress; You have to love before you live. --

#19 NancyE

NancyE

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,755 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:T3 incomplete
  • Injury Date:27-01-2006

Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:17 PM

I just wish I could move fast enough to bite patters. Be better than klonapin and antidepressants.
  • D. Smith, cripplechick73, Tiggz and 1 other like this
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin and Hobbes

#20 D. Smith

D. Smith

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 560 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Elizabethton, TN
  • Spinal Injury Level:T10 Complete
  • Injury Date:29-04-2010

Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

I completely agree Nancy...  I think I'm coming to terms that I'm a tad bit angry when people do that simply cause I think the last time that happened, I tried to grab their hand cause I had every intention of breaking it.  >.>  <.<  My bad.


When in Rome, go naked! --xbox360 tag: Ice764
-- You have to crawl before you walk; You have to slide before you depress; You have to love before you live. --

#21 Big D

Big D

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,455 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:USA/North Cackalacky
  • Spinal Injury Level:T-dozen complete
  • Injury Date:04-01-2012

Posted 29 January 2013 - 06:10 PM

Just pat them in the face. With your fist. 

 

 

Be better than klonapin

 

Better than klompalanananapins?????? :drooldrip:


  • NancyE, cripplechick73, myshoeisonfire and 1 other like this

190px-Joe_Swanson2.png

Gimpin' ain't easy.


#22 Kwag_Myers

Kwag_Myers

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,207 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South-East Michigan
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12 Incomplete/CES
  • Injury Date:11-08-2007

Posted 29 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I think that's the question I hate the worst: When are you gonna walk again? Yeah, like one day I'm just gonna wake up one day and be perfectly abled again! I wish!

I think my response would be, "Right after you stop being stupid/rude/insensitive."

Oh hell, the dreaded pat on the head... Why do people find that is okay to do???

This would be why I stopped washing my hair.
  • NancyE, cripplechick73, Big D and 2 others like this
'Cause that's how I roll! Posted Image

#23 NancyE

NancyE

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1,755 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:T3 incomplete
  • Injury Date:27-01-2006

Posted 30 January 2013 - 01:38 AM


Hey, I figured it out. I am t4, so from now on, every time someone pats me, I am gonna grab their ass!
  • JulesB and cheshirehouse like this
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin and Hobbes

#24 bashko!!

bashko!!

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 20 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:charlotte, nc
  • Spinal Injury Level:c5
  • Injury Date:11-01-2006

Posted 02 February 2013 - 02:25 AM

I had a little girl look at me and then turn to her mom and say "Look mommy, that man aint got no legs!"  The mom then promptly did this... Nothing.  Still have to thank my gf at the time...  I was gonna smack that little girl with my non existent legs!

 

this brings up a point worth discussing.  first, you can't blame a child for curiosity, period.  when a child see's something new, they're trying to understand it...whether an amputee or a homeless person.

 

that being said, i have had similar experiences.  being a young man in a power chair, i draw a decent amount of attention from children, which i have no problem with.  however, in a few situations, children have pointed me out, asked about me, or have simply been staring.  this is fine with me.  but, following the action of the child, the parents scolded them for their intetest.  this is a problem for me. though some might think this is the appropriate response, it is not for three reasons.

 

first, by doing this, the parent is subconciously saying one thing: i am different.  yes, i am.  however, the parent making the distinction, that i am off limits (for looking or talking about), is an extension of the parents view of disabled people.  It exacerbates the stigma of a "disability."  The parent has drawn a distinct line between me and the rest of the people in the store, discriminating without knowing.  The child is allowed to comment on everyone else without repercussion. But, by scolding the child, the parent is basically saying, that person in the wheelchair is in a different catagory.  They aren't a normal (like everyone else in the store the child can talk about).

 

second, this action greatly inffluences the child.  it isn't just a reflection of the parents, but it also teaches the child that i am off limits, as if taboo.  this child will grow believing the same thing: we belong in different catagories.

 

third, why is disability taboo?  it shouldn't be.  until people are comfortable talking about it, talking to their kids about it, things will be stagnent.  we're the largest minority (paradoxical, i know) in the world but are still overlooked and forgotten.  honestly, i never thought about disability rights, accessibility, etc., until after i got injured.  the topic never came up in school, at home, amongst friends, it honestly seems taboo.

 

i realize this rant seems out of place but its been on my mind a while, glad i could get it out.  my main point is that these situations with children (our future) are a perfect oppurtunity to teach.  to correct the parents idf neccesary.  to speak to the child on behalf of the disability community (likely being one of the few disabled people the childs seen) and start killing the taboo.


  • Tetracyclone, Big D, LuLu2 and 2 others like this

#25 edlee

edlee

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5,629 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South Western Pa
  • Spinal Injury Level:t-10 complete
  • Injury Date:11-18-2004

Posted 02 February 2013 - 06:54 PM

All true Bas,, but you have to remember that some of US make that distinction, too.  Just by being offended at being pointed out by a child,, shows that.  Until WE stop seeing ourselves as "different",, the world will continue to see us that way.

 

Of course we are different.  And we are not all that large a minority.  Most people will never even meet anyone with a SCI.  That is why I advise anyone in a chair to get out into the public's view as often as they can.  We are our own advocates.  We are the ones who have to change the world's view of us.  If we can't change our own,, how can we change their's?

 

ed


  • bashko!! and jbridges9 like this

#26 bashko!!

bashko!!

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 20 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:charlotte, nc
  • Spinal Injury Level:c5
  • Injury Date:11-01-2006

Posted 02 February 2013 - 10:26 PM

All true Bas,, but you have to remember that some of US make that distinction, too.  Just by being offended at being pointed out by a child,, shows that.  Until WE stop seeing ourselves as "different",, the world will continue to see us that way.

 

Of course we are different.  And we are not all that large a minority.  Most people will never even meet anyone with a SCI.  That is why I advise anyone in a chair to get out into the public's view as often as they can.  We are our own advocates.  We are the ones who have to change the world's view of us.  If we can't change our own,, how can we change their's?

 

ed

 

poignantly put ed, i agree completely.  the reflexivity that you point out (my view of ones view of me) is something i hadn't though about... that's the problem being human...even when I try and be objective, i'm clouded by subjectivity haha.



#27 LuLu2

LuLu2

    Member

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 77 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:USA/NC
  • Spinal Injury Level:T12 complete
  • Injury Date:12-31-1986

Posted 04 February 2013 - 03:03 AM

My favorite was when I told one of my docs that I was in pain and he responded with "Well you look like your doing okay".  Great.

 

But, I think it's pretty funny when people ask me if my shoes are comfortable. :)


  • cripplechick73, Tiggz and r0hbArt like this

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein


#28 Outlier

Outlier

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 209 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Country:Hawaii USA
  • Spinal Injury Level:C5-T2 Posterior Cord
  • Injury Date:15-03-2011

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:16 AM

Hair stylist: "You need to get out and run!" Me: "First I need to walk and (BTW) I used to be a cross country runner."

Friend: "You just need to keep increasing your work out." Me: "Helps if your body responds to your brain comands."

Friend: "If you're not willing to have surgery, then you are not serious about getting better." Me: "Really? I didn't know they had spinal cord replacement surgical procedures, except some experimental phase I trials. Enlighten me!"


  • r0hbArt likes this

#29 edlee

edlee

    Super Advanced

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5,629 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:South Western Pa
  • Spinal Injury Level:t-10 complete
  • Injury Date:11-18-2004

Posted 07 February 2013 - 05:51 PM

Cord transplantation,, wouldn't that be something?  There has been a great deal of work done using stem cells trying to regenerate the existing nerves.  I wonder if there has been any, using similar techniques, dealing with replacing existing nerves.

 

Wishful thinking, I guess.

ed



#30 Heretic

Heretic

    Intermediate Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 239 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Country:Lancs, UK
  • Spinal Injury Level:T5-C6 TM

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:18 AM

Hair stylist: "You need to get out and run!" Me: "First I need to walk and (BTW) I used to be a cross country runner."
Friend: "You just need to keep increasing your work out." Me: "Helps if your body responds to your brain comands."
Friend: "If you're not willing to have surgery, then you are not serious about getting better." Me: "Really? I didn't know they had spinal cord replacement surgical procedures, except some experimental phase I trials. Enlighten me!"


Aww, some people are more disabled than us and might benefit from full cerebral transplants, when that becomes available.
There's always a way.


Spinal Cord Injury & Cauda Equina Syndrome Support

This website is a way for those with spinal cord injuries and cauda equina syndrome to share experiences and advice. Any medical matters, treatments or alternative therapies discussed on this website should be thoroughly reviewed by a medical professional or therapist before being acted upon. Under no circumstances should you alter prescribed medication or a medical care plan without consulting your doctor or care plan supervisor first.