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So Embarassing.




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29 replies to this topic

#1 McTavish

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 11:11 AM

Last night we attended a 50th Birthday party of a friend. We had attended a few parties at this venue in the past few months and it was quite accessible with a lift down to the wheelchair toilet.

However this time the party was on the top floor, we got the lift up and were looking forward to a nice night but hold on this is where it starts to go all wrong, when getting out of the lift there were about five steps to go down and the stair-chair was out of order. These steps were looking straight into the party room and I could feel about 100 pairs of eyes staring out of the door as I was lifted by three security men down these steps, once inside I could not relax as there was no disabled toilet facilities in the room and I could not imagine having to go through the same process every time I wanted to spend a penny.

Needless to say we did not stay long but it's times like this that you would feel different from everyone else and would love to through the wheelchair out of the window. Well just had to get that off my chest.



#2 Farfelle

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 11:15 AM

Dear mactavish, i have resorted to wearing diapers on these occasions. I absolutely HATE being carried.
It,s not so much wanting to throw the wheelchair out the window but rather the people that create so many barriers for us,
Nice to see you back on line and am really sorry about your evening.
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#3 paul1404

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 12:59 PM

if you want to get out and about you will have to polish up that suit of armour and just tough it out. If you need to go up and down do so perhaps the security chaps will tell their boss to sort things out in the future. just 2 more things always think of your self as a trailblazer for other paras/ quads, and Cleopatra was carried eveywhere.


Edited by paul1404, 19 May 2013 - 01:01 PM.

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#4 McTavish

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 02:42 PM

Paul you always have a way of making situations not as bad as they actually are, and yes I like the idea of Cleopatra but it was far from Cleopatra that I was feeling last night. lol


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#5 KarenFerguson

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 03:55 PM

I have been in situations like this, and boy are you right ... embarrassing - but really, no one at the party cared at all, they were probably just happy you were there :)

 

It's funny, most of the time I kind of "forget" I'm disabled - but when stuff like blatant inaccessibility happens, it's like such a slap in the face.

 

I would totally make sure they fix that stair lift.


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#6 Tyrtaeus

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 05:54 PM

Hmm, maybe if they carried folks like us enough times, the security guys backs would be killing them by the end of the night from hefting peoples half ton power chairs, and beg their boss to fix the stair lift. ;) Glad you weren't hurt and that you got to spend at least some time at the party. :]


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#7 WaveWolf

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 01:27 AM

Call me shameless, but I cannot imagine being embarrassed over physical barriers!  We cannot change some of these situations, so working out a solution utilizing the people who are being paid to help doesn't faze me.  Now, when I'm out with friends who are not able to physically assist me, then I am forced to get creative.  Sometimes they are embarrassed, but I have learned to be patient with myself and take time to do what I need to safely.  Paul, I want to hold that image of Cleopatra in my mind!!!


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HOEA RA!


#8 PNW_Doug

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 02:47 AM

Never feel embarrassed in a situation that you can't control. I know that's much easier to say than do, but it will keep you sane at the worst of times.


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#9 lcgarrison

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 03:41 AM

I hate being carried or  helped up steps. I was dropped when I went to my son's wedding. I hit the back of my old hard head and my elbow on brick steps. Hard head no problem, elbow hurt for a week. Do not let anyone pull you up steps if they are wearing flipflops!

     The wedding was fantastic! :head_brick_wall-1:



#10 A trophy guy

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 04:51 AM

I don't ever let myself get carried.  Period.  If I need to, I will get out of my chair and get myself to where I need to get on my own and have someone carry my empty wheelchair through-or up-the inaccessible areas.   But I learned the hard way very early on to trust no one but myself when it comes to securing the safety of my body.  I was dropped near the very top of a very tall, outdoor staircase when I was being carried up it while in my chair by a couple of friends.   It was only because I was able to grab a hold of one of the side rails and hang on while my chair tumbled and flipped way, way down that I was able to avoid serious injury.  Ever since that time I just find it much saner, simpler, safer and everything, to just get out of my chair and manually get myself up the stairs (or whatever) while someone just carries my empty, lightweight wheelchair up along with me. 


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Blessed but Cursed

#11 Lee.

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 11:23 AM

i had a similar encounter on new years eve, there was a party at a club but it was alone by its self in the middle of no where and looked like an 18th century building converted, when we pulled up you could see the party going on but it was upstairs, i had to get lifted into the place its self from outside passed all the smokers outside, then there was no lift just old narrow and steep stairs like in a house then along a corridor and down some more stairs to get to it, i just said no ill sit down stairs where it was empty :P the was a liitle fire and some sofas and we had a mini party there, i couldnt imagine my dad and my brother trying to carry me up these stairs let alone back down drunk at the end of the night, but they did have a disabled toilet.


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#12 Tetracyclone

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 11:42 AM

Perhaps we need a battery operated neon sign saying "PEE BREAK" for these special occasions.  Something tasteful in lavender.


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#13 The Black Sheep

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 11:20 PM

Perhaps we need a battery operated neon sign saying "PEE BREAK" for these special occasions.  Something tasteful in lavender.

"Bio Break"


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3 doctors diagnosed me with hysterical paralysis (weee!), 1 diagnosed an incomplete T7, another T2 and the last (and most accurate) T5. Trampolines are BAD. Sleep is unpredictable. And never kiss strangers. Life has moved on.

#14 A trophy guy

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Posted 23 May 2013 - 12:29 AM

 but they did have a disabled toilet.

 

Did it need help to be able to flush itself?  


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#15 Crappler

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Posted 23 May 2013 - 04:09 PM

 

Perhaps we need a battery operated neon sign saying "PEE BREAK" for these special occasions.  Something tasteful in lavender.

"Bio Break"

 

Let me guess, you play WoW or some other MMO, right?


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#16 The Black Sheep

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Posted 24 May 2013 - 12:28 AM

 

 

Perhaps we need a battery operated neon sign saying "PEE BREAK" for these special occasions.  Something tasteful in lavender.

"Bio Break"

 

Let me guess, you play WoW or some other MMO, right?

 

Was I that easy to spot? Yes. I was a WoWer and now I'm playing the open beta of Neverwinter. I think I've played almost every major MMO title in the past 3 years though, at some point.


3 doctors diagnosed me with hysterical paralysis (weee!), 1 diagnosed an incomplete T7, another T2 and the last (and most accurate) T5. Trampolines are BAD. Sleep is unpredictable. And never kiss strangers. Life has moved on.

#17 Crappler

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Posted 24 May 2013 - 12:24 PM

I played WoW for a long time too. I always liked my Shaman the best. Shamwowe was his name.


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#18 Tyrtaeus

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 09:24 PM

 

 

 

Perhaps we need a battery operated neon sign saying "PEE BREAK" for these special occasions.  Something tasteful in lavender.

"Bio Break"

 

Let me guess, you play WoW or some other MMO, right?

 

Was I that easy to spot? Yes. I was a WoWer and now I'm playing the open beta of Neverwinter. I think I've played almost every major MMO title in the past 3 years though, at some point.

 

 

Hahaha, I use Biobreak too, and my wife got me hooked on The Lord the of the Rings Online, have you played it? :)

I tried World of Warcraft but can't connect the princess fairyland graphics to daring heroes and dangerous quests. I like photo-realistic graphics such as in LOTRO and Skyrim. :P


Edited by Tyrtaeus, 28 May 2013 - 09:27 PM.

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#19 Lee.

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 09:28 PM

i play wow alot have since 2006


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#20 supercrip13

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Posted 31 May 2013 - 09:51 PM

I hate being carried or  helped up steps. I was dropped when I went to my son's wedding. I hit the back of my old hard head and my elbow on brick steps. Hard head no problem, elbow hurt for a week. Do not let anyone pull you up steps if they are wearing flipflops!
     The wedding was fantastic! :head_brick_wall-1:


I gotta ask, why did your son get married somewhere where you needed carrying? Not trying to be disrespectful, but when my kids got married access/toiletting for me, was the no 1 priority for them when choosing the venue. The fact that they made it so, made me one very proud mummy. It also helped me quell any nerves beforehand, as we'd reccie'd the place and I knew where everything was, including somewhere for me to rest/lie down.
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Over the hill but refusing to wear roller skates!

#21 lcgarrison

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 04:34 AM

Supercrip13...... the ceremony was outside and very beautiful. The later reception was inside my sisters home. She and her husband own a beautiful home and like to show it off. Most all holiday get togethers are hosted by her. I am getting tired of being dragged up those steps. This past Thanksgiving I opted to go to my daughters and have dinner with my she and her mothers family. Mother is ex # 1, and a good time was had by all. Since doing this my sister has talked about buying a ramp to get me in her house. They can afford it but don't want to ruin the appearance. I love my sister dearly and except for this one thing I can depend on her for certain. :dunno:



#22 Tetracyclone

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 11:54 AM

I as not a "good friend" in providing access to my home for my MS girlfriend.   :ohmy:  



#23 supercrip13

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 09:18 PM

Supercrip13...... the ceremony was outside and very beautiful. The later reception was inside my sisters home. She and her husband own a beautiful home and like to show it off. Most all holiday get togethers are hosted by her. I am getting tired of being dragged up those steps. This past Thanksgiving I opted to go to my daughters and have dinner with my she and her mothers family. Mother is ex # 1, and a good time was had by all. Since doing this my sister has talked about buying a ramp to get me in her house. They can afford it but don't want to ruin the appearance. I love my sister dearly and except for this one thing I can depend on her for certain. :dunno:

Sorry to hear about this. It must be tough having that hanging over your relationship with your sister. I am sure many of us here have had similar experiences. I'm very blessed with my family being so supportive. My best friend actually turned down a beautiful house because I couldn't get in. But I have had experiences in the past that were less than ideal, to say the least. When I was a pre-teen my brother almost called off his wedding when the bride and her mother let it be known that they thought my being a bridesmaid would spoil the wedding photos (My spine is very curved so I am not exactly slim and willowy looking, I like to describe myself as very asymmetric!). But he insisted no bridesmaid, no wedding. My mum made the mistake of telling me thinking to show how much my brother loved me. It just made the day hell for me instead. I was so self conscious I just wanted the church floor to open up and for me to fall into the catacombs.


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Over the hill but refusing to wear roller skates!

#24 t4_5para

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:13 AM

I've been there over the years, having to be carried etc.  Sometimes in my chair and sometimes in a bouncers arms.  I have to say, being totally lifted up, for me is very un-nerving, I was lucky with the bouncers who have been good enough to carry me, as I was never dropped and they were always more than willing.  I've been asked by bouncers/doormen, which way/how is best, for them to pick me up etc but, when I was out and about I (same as today really) weighed around the 9 stone mark, which given the fact in 6ft 4"'s, isn't a lot, it was my height which caused more problems.

 

I've never really felt embarrassed when having to be lifted however, this may have to do with the fact the venues I went to when I was younger, all used the same Security Company, so I knew all of them.  There were pubs I would visit which had 2 small doors, which need to be oped for me to get in and as I drove into the car park, only one was being used but, because they all knew my car, by the time I got to the door, both were open.

 

I will admit though, when I was younger, the people I hung around with, were a group of 'hard knock's' shall we say (and even though I was in a chair, I wasn't a good boy at all times), which I was excepted into because some of them I had grown up with.  Now I'm older, I don't go out, I've been out 3 times this year, once to get a Valentine's card for my partner, the other a Birthday Card and the last, to visit the Doctors.  I've gone through wanting to go and do everything, whether it be legal or not, to wanting to say in the house and not go out.



#25 Big D

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:14 AM

Yeah, I'm not really down with being carried into places.... Kinda feels somewhat humiliating, and also like I'm not wanted. I've avoided places in the past because I knew there were stairs to get in, and small spaces. Buuut, recently I had to go to a few meetings in a church that had stairs, and there was no choice for me but to be carried in. I tried to not let it bother me... I demanded that my "slaves" lift me and my throne into the church, and at one point I had a guy named Scotty carrying me in, so I said "Beam me up Scotty!" Har. Har. Of course if I really wanted to I could have gotten out of my chair and butt crawled in, but I might find that a bit more humiliating than having to be carried.

 

Sorry about your experience though. Too bad they didn't have enough common courtesy to not STARE, the bunch of little shits.


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#26 A trophy guy

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:28 AM

Of course if I really wanted to I could have gotten out of my chair and butt crawled in, but I might find that a bit more humiliating than having to be carried.

(my bold)

 

Well I have lots of experience with both being carried and taking myself up on my ass and I can tell you that, in addition to considering being carried unsafe, I find it much more humiliating than going on my own outside of my chair.  It's not even close. 


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#27 t4_5para

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:49 AM

When I really started going out17/18 years of age, I had lost 5 stone (and more) and was down to 9, 9 and a half, sometimes dipping into the 8, so for me getting out and climbing stairs etc, was out of the question, I didn't have the fat/meat on my backside to do it, I would have just straight ended up with a pressure sore.  However, as I said, the people who were carrying me, I knew as we were a close knit bunch of 'no gooders', shall I say.

 

We moved areas in 2007, due th the fact the Housing Association had built a house for use, it was only 5 mile down the road for where we were living and I convinced my partner it would be better for us.  The shops were closer, so we would use less fuel, once the children had finished the education, due to the number of shops in the area, they should be able to find work.  However, even knowing the area myself and having visited some of the local pubs/clubs, it wasn't until we moved did I realise the impact it would have.  None of the local pubs/clubs had Disabled facilities, so going out locally and just rolling home was not an option, so the only option was to get a Taxi to and from where we used to go but, then the Government introduced the 'Smoking Ban' and that was me done.  Being and addict to both (as I detailed on another thread), I found myself in the situation that, I would spend more time outside having a fag to go with the drink, than inside.  So as a couple it means we no longer go out together hopefully, once I have dealt with my addictions, things will change.



#28 Big D

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 04:29 AM

 

Of course if I really wanted to I could have gotten out of my chair and butt crawled in, but I might find that a bit more humiliating than having to be carried.

(my bold)

 

Well I have lots of experience with both being carried and taking myself up on my ass and I can tell you that, in addition to considering being carried unsafe, I find it much more humiliating than going on my own outside of my chair.  It's not even close. 

 

 

Whatever floats your boat. I just find it less humiliating to get it over with quick. Having 2 big guys carry me up some stairs is much faster than doing the whole butt crawl thing, which I am not averse to at all. Plus, anybody that knows me knows better than to drop me... Because that's when it's time for a little ground 'n pound. :boxing:


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#29 A trophy guy

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 05:55 AM

 

 

Of course if I really wanted to I could have gotten out of my chair and butt crawled in, but I might find that a bit more humiliating than having to be carried.

(my bold)

 

Well I have lots of experience with both being carried and taking myself up on my ass and I can tell you that, in addition to considering being carried unsafe, I find it much more humiliating than going on my own outside of my chair.  It's not even close. 

 

 

Whatever floats your boat. I just find it less humiliating to get it over with quick. Having 2 big guys carry me up some stairs is much faster than doing the whole butt crawl thing, which I am not averse to at all. Plus, anybody that knows me knows better than to drop me... Because that's when it's time for a little ground 'n pound. :boxing:

 

 

Yeah, I thought you had meant you never had actually tried getting out of your chair and bumping up the steps; given the "might" (hence my bold).   And of course everybody "knows" better than to drop anyone.  That's why it's called an accident.   And it really sucks when it happens.  Getting out of the chair, you stay in control of your body.  Getting carried, you are in someone else's control. 


Edited by A trophy guy, 02 June 2013 - 06:30 AM.

Blessed but Cursed

#30 WaveWolf

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 06:05 AM

Getting out of the chair, you stay in control of your body.  Getting carried, you are in someone else's control. 

 

 

Absolutely!  Safety first, and no one knows what can make us hurt even when they are being careful and don't accidentally drop us.


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HOEA RA!



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