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What will we do
Started by
Hmacleod28
, Oct 16 2006 12:49 AM
2 replies to this topic
#1
Hmacleod28
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Newbie
- Country:uk scotland
- Spinal Injury Level / Relationship: Gf of T4
Posted 16 October 2006 - 12:49 AM
Hi there all well to start with what a fab sight its the best i have found , I have askt my man to moove in with me i love him to bits , but at the moment he is still in hospital he is a T5 after a moterbike accsident we have been together for a year now , and have noin eachothere for 14 years , he is unshure of mooving in as he dose not want to as he says it ((RUEINING MY LIFE ))wich he isint i love him but he says that he will need depenfding on to much and dose not want to do this to me , how can i let him no that i love him. i really do want this and am not just saying it as i fell sorry for him it is really frustraighting me now , as he thinks am doing it cos i have to not cos i want to , pleas ne one help me get it threw to his head that i love him and his weels
Top#2 *onion*
*onion*
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Posted 16 October 2006 - 02:22 AM
hi hmacleod,
You're already doing the right thing. He's in hospital and you are there for him. It's not only a shock to the body it's a jolt to your relationship of 14 years with him. Give yourself a little time to adjust to this and give him a little more. And he's right, your lives are going to change, so take one step at a time. I'm sorry for your pain
Hang in there
onion
You're already doing the right thing. He's in hospital and you are there for him. It's not only a shock to the body it's a jolt to your relationship of 14 years with him. Give yourself a little time to adjust to this and give him a little more. And he's right, your lives are going to change, so take one step at a time. I'm sorry for your pain
Hang in thereonion
#3
gsp23
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- Country:Minnesota (USA)
- Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:Incomplete
Posted 16 October 2006 - 03:36 PM
Different people respond to life changing things in different ways. My boyfriend for example pushes everyone away because he doesnt want to be a burden. Personally I look at people that react that way as people that want to control as much as they can (there are a lot of people that respond this way). I on the other hand accept everyone who wants to be around me and allow them to make their own decsisions. If they dont want to be around me anymore then thats fine, I will live my life without them but I do allow them to make their own decisions (there are equally a lot of people who react this way as well).
Sounds like your boyfriend is at least allowing you to be around which is good. Just continue to be there for him, dont push anything and dont bring up the issue of any disabilities of him unless he does. Be open and willing to talk about it if he brings it up and wants to talk about it. For me anyways this shows that the person I am talking to is open to the idea and really is accepting of my condition and not just saying it but hoping it will go away. If you bring up any disabilities or what he can/cant do then for me anyways that seems like the person I am talking to is focusing on this and nothing else. So my best advice is when talking to him talk about the same things you always used to before his accident. If he wants to talk about his current lifestyle, changes, etc be there for him - dont change the subject, listen to him, and above all else be encouraging but continue to be realistic.
Sounds like your boyfriend is at least allowing you to be around which is good. Just continue to be there for him, dont push anything and dont bring up the issue of any disabilities of him unless he does. Be open and willing to talk about it if he brings it up and wants to talk about it. For me anyways this shows that the person I am talking to is open to the idea and really is accepting of my condition and not just saying it but hoping it will go away. If you bring up any disabilities or what he can/cant do then for me anyways that seems like the person I am talking to is focusing on this and nothing else. So my best advice is when talking to him talk about the same things you always used to before his accident. If he wants to talk about his current lifestyle, changes, etc be there for him - dont change the subject, listen to him, and above all else be encouraging but continue to be realistic.
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