5 replies to this topic

[ericck]

i have been on site 4, 7months you guys have been a blessing 2 me answering all my question no matter how trivial or out there,thank you.now since u have helped me so much i want to ask couples how has this site has helped or hindered there reltionship by signifagant other participate and ask quesions?me or my wife have never done anything with a couple like ourselves meaning ab and me.just want 2 no your experiences.to how your other has maklng posts and answering.also 4 those brave enough to meet others like themselves.all of the time i am with ab people friends or assocates .i dont want 2 freak my wife out she has dealt with so much like a champion.all of my heroes have been football or basketball players,but they are not heroes they just play a kids game OUR SIGNIFAGENT OTHERS ARE HEROES AND MY HERO IS MY WIFE KIMBERLY CLEMENTS.I WOULD like 2 here your thoughts.

Edited by ericck, 27 November 2006 - 08:08 AM.

[juls]

Hi erickk,

Since i've started using this site I think it's helped my relationship, as you get to read posts on here from everybody's perspective. I find reading spouses who have partners with a sci, posts are really helpful because it gives me a look at how the ab partner feels and what things I am taking for granted or asking to much of etc...as a result we talk alot more now about everything. However my partner isn't interested in using the forum which i'm kinda glad about as it gives me the room to say or ask what i want.

We do know one couple that are like us, except she is a tiny bit higher then me, it's nice to have friends that you can relate to and that are not curious about how everything works..right down to your personal hygiene!!!!

Edited by juls, 27 November 2006 - 08:16 AM.

[Joed]

ericck, on Nov 27 2006, 06:10 AM, said:

all of my heroes have been football or basketball players,but they are not heroes they just play a kids game OUR SIGNIFAGENT OTHERS ARE HEROES AND MY HERO IS MY WIFE KIMBERLY CLEMENTS.

What a heartwarming thing to hear. I hope you've shared this post with your wife too.

My husband doesn't 'do' computers, and so I doubt that he will ever get on here to read, much less post. I wish he would, because I think it would help a great deal in his understanding of what I deal with daily.

Having said that, it's all too easy for me to think that he's the only one who needs 'educated', but the truth is, I've gained a lot of insight into how it might be for him too, by reading the posts of others here.

After my SCI, we had problems (denial issues)...even separated for a short time, but now we're back and on track. Since then, he has really stepped up to the plate, and helped to ease my work load so that I'm more able to do those things that I can. Now I feel like he's a real partner to me, instead of an adversary. But it's been difficult for all of us, my son included. We've come through the fire and are now on the other side....building from where we've been.

SCI, among other maladies, can sure show what mettle you're made of. We're stronger than ever now....but it was a gnarly road gettin' there.

[gsp23]

My boyfriend doesnt do forums, which is kinda nice for me cause like juls said, it gives me the freedom to say what I want without feeling like he is looking over my shoulder. He has been wonderful and has helped me make it through so far. I know when we have had talks about it he tells me that it doesnt bother him to be with a person in a wheelchair. I asked about if it made him uncomfortable to be walking around a mall for example and me no longer at his height but rolling around instead and he said he couldnt care less. He has also told me that as others ask how this is for him he says that he is ok with it for now... that for now part is the part that has kinda worried me. I have asked him about it and he responds that he is ok with my condition but he cant tell the future if it will suddenly get to him some day. I am satisified that me being in a wheelchair isnt a burden to him and appreciate his honest answer because I guess really we could all say the same about anyone no matter how much you love them

My boyfriend of many years (we have known each other since 1992) has been wonderful and I'm not how well I would havemade it through some tough times without him.

That being said, we dont have any other friends who have any type of disability so I am the odd one out whenever we go anywhere. I can get around very short distances with my crutches but I have some difficulty sitting up for very long so when we go to peoples houses I feel strange going in with crutches if there are steps and then sitting in my wheelchair and getting around like that for the day/night. A lot of people dont understand how it is and that can make it a bit difficult with others around the room whispering and later asking my boyfriend if I was trying to show off or something by using a wheelchair when I could really walk... I mean come on really!? Showing off!? WTF

(ok done with my minor rant there)

[ericck]

its funny how much we have in common being odd balls arounod ab freinds.and how our partners dont post.i also like honesty about them careing that we r in a wheelchair even though uncertanty isnt a good feeling but like u said its the same in any relationship.i still would like 2 hear from couples who do share in posts.

[ericck]

Nobody else can share