9 replies to this topic

[rkzenrage]

Did not sleep at all last night, just in tons of pain... my dental appliance is not back yet (for those of you who did not read it, my dog chewed my old one up. update is that the company that makes them broke my mold, so it has taken a LONG time. meanwhile the swelling and pain in my jaws/ears/nasal cavity/etc gets much worse... I clinch in my sleep and during bad pain spasms).
This morning my wife reminds me we are touring my son's potential new school (it will be, it seems great).
A lot of bumps on the way, ow some more.
The Director (principal) decided to accompany our group, but was not told about me and freaked out when I showed signs of pain.
Others knew in advance that I am in chronic pain. Funny, because I just sort-of flinch most of the time and today twitch my head to the side because of a lot of inflammation due to some extra problems I am having in one of the herniated disk and degeneration in my neck (of course the ear issues are not helping with this either).
My family and the assistant director, who turned out to be my therapist's wife, very casually, told her that I am in chronic pain... she sorta' tweaked every time I even shifted my weight in my chair after that and went way out of her way to help me through door-ways and the like... very uncomfortable.
Nothing to be done. She was very nice and I understand.
Lot of people have not been around those in pain, but I felt like I wanted to take care of her somehow, but did not know how. So, I tried to do the best I could to show it less, which is VERY painful. Suppressing spasms intensifies the pain immensely.
But, all of this was WELL worth it in the end, the school was great, they were all great.
Finally, upon entering a three-year-old class all the students dropped what they were doing and *WHOOSH* I was surrounded and a thousand questions were bombarding me...
An impromptu class on wheelchairs and disability ensued, as I was shown lots of art intermittently with my information and their questions and was given a piece of art that was done just for me.
No one else in my party had art done for them, ha! They were very beautiful kids and well behaved, the first little outburst aside.
Definitely made it all worth it, that and, even though I am having a rotten pain day, since I was already dressed and there, I treated myself to an excellent cigar before going back into the house to rest for the rest of the day.

How about yours?

[Joed]

Kids are great, aren't they? I wish all adults could react like they do....well, within reason of course!

When I go to my son's school, there are still kids who will stop me in the hall to give me a hug or a drawing, remembering my disability talk from last year.

Pain is one of those things that no one else can do anything about to help....it puts them in a place of extreme unease. And the various faces we make to try and cope are probably very unsettling to them. I've caught glimpses of myself in store windows, etc., when I'm in great pain....and it's scary looking! I even scare myself.

I had planned on finishing up my Christmas shopping today....weekday, shouldn't be as daunting with less crowds...but my body had other plans apparently. Now I'll have to wait until the "God of Pain" feels like letting me go....which, most likely, will not be on a weekday!

[rkzenrage]

No lie... more like on a holiday Sat, right?

[sandyrun]

Pain is something we never get used to for sure. I'm in constant pain also, even tho not SCI. It's ( chronic pain) there all day, every day, some days worse, some days a little better (but it never leaves). I've had pain all my life, having contracted polio at age 8 months. Also have scoliosis with a steel Harrington rod fusion, post-polio, fibromyalgia, old age lol, currently a bulging C5 & 6, etc. I truly feel for any and all who have chronic pain. And for those who are virtually pain free, must be nice. I've known a few people who say they've not even ever had a headache! Can you imagine? I've had my share of those as well. But having said that, I know I've been very fortunate. Everything could have been a lot worse. Try to stay as positive as I can. And none of us, even tho we have our pain, can not truly understand another's pain.

Edited by sandyrun, 13 December 2006 - 06:48 AM.

[juls]

I had to finish the rest of my Christmas shopping today as well as do a big grocery shop.
I woke up in so much pain I knew I shouldn't have gone...but what can we do, we've just got to get on with these things.

It was awful though, I pushed all day with only half an hour for lunch. Had to put up with little kids everywhere staring at me and adults almost taking me out with trolleys.
Now I'm home the burning pain is 10 times as bad as it was this morning......I think I shall go have a drink

[meshell]

The thing with chronic pain is going to bed in pain, then waking up in pain(if it goes away long enough to get a decent sleep), trying to muster up enough determination to make it out of bed in time to give the children a kiss in time for them to go to school and feeling crap cos I really wish the pain would go away so I could take them, not being able to sit down, lie down or even stand up for more than a few minutes comfortably, I grind my teeth at night now and it wakes me up if i doze of to sleep, The thing I hate most about the pain is trying to pretend it isn't that bad, when all I want to do is pull it out of my body. but all in all life is great and it's nearly christmas maybe the big man will let us all have a seasonal break, now that would be a great christmas present. Also I would love to be able to change my baby's nappy before she gets to old and doesn't wear them anymore and maybe get to pick her up and give her a big cuddle with out her having to clamber up onto my lap cuddle me , am i asking to much?

Edited by meshell, 13 December 2006 - 12:10 PM.

[rkzenrage]

I agree. That it is unrelenting is the worst part.

[Captain Pike]

Skin ulcer on the heel; a nasty UTI and an outbreak of psoriasis; but other than that, a pretty good day.

But now something interesting. I took a closer look at your "eye" signature -- I notice your Rick enraged logo in there. That is very interesting Art -- what is the medium? What is reflected in the iris?

Very interesting...

[spinesong]

my heart was so touched today that i wanted to cry with happiness.

i volunteer at a preschool program for kids that are in "at risk" homes. some are in foster homes, some are still in their own homes but in the "system" due to family history of abuse or neglect.
i have been helping out 3 hrs a week for the last couple months and now have a wonderful relationship with the 8 little ones in my class (all are just barely 2yrs old).

i find it my job to bring laughter, big smiles and confidence to the little ones. lots of high fives, hugs and really high pushes on the swing set at playground time. it's a GREAT job.

what touched me most today was that at lunch time i had 3 little girls come try to sit next to me at the table. the seats at my table were already taken and each one was trying to push their way in to sit next to me and say in their baby talk "sit by you". i would have loved to have had them all piled up on my lap! the thing is that the reason that little ones that age respond that way is purely because of how they feel when they are around someone. it's not about who is prettiest or popular or anything shallow. it's about making them feel good. to me, it said that they feel good around me. for all i know, these kids may not feel good around any adult in their home. that fact makes it all the more meaningful. that's what i'm there for, to bring them some love and tenderness.
how they responded today let me know that they are feeling it! nothing means more to me than that! my encouragement and interaction with them makes them feel something positive in their little 2 yr old souls. considering their circumstances in life, it makes me want to cry. i think about where they are tonite and hope that someone is holding them and being tender and kind.

[rkzenrage]

Captain Pike, on Dec 13 2006, 09:00 PM, said:

Skin ulcer on the heel; a nasty UTI and an outbreak of psoriasis; but other than that, a pretty good day.

But now something interesting. I took a closer look at your "eye" signature -- I notice your Rick enraged logo in there. That is very interesting Art -- what is the medium? What is reflected in the iris?

Very interesting...

http://gearlock.deviantart.com/ I just added my user-name. I am a huge fan of his work. I used to do a lot of eyes when I painted and sculpted more.