11 replies to this topic

[silverlining]

Hello all as the title describes my dad had an accident last Thursday whist at work, he fell through two floors. He's has a T12 injury, we've been told he's paralysed from the waist down and won't be able to walk again. Can't quite believe it yet but wanted to get as much advise as I can possibly can, this forum seems to be a great place to start (thank you very much to the person who started this support group) Have so many questions but don't know where to start, I'm beginning to read through all the treads but seem to be getting confused-supposed to be expected as I know nothing about spinal injuries. I hope that one day my dad will find solace on this forum. He's currently at a well known hospital, who seem very relaxed about the whole thing and haven't really been able to tell us what will happen (apart from he'll never walk again).
The questions that have been going around in my mind mainly are - will he walk again? do the doctors just routinely give worse case of scenario? He had the accident on Thursday but they didn't do the op to fix his broken back until Saturday, is this normal? they said he'll need to be transferred to another hospital, which one is the best? there seem to be a few good comments on here about Stanmore? Doctors say it could take up to 3/4 months for a transfer? Do I need to get a loan out to help him, have no idea how much costs will be involved long-term? He has a catheter in place but they haven’t fitted a colostomy bag, allowing him to defecate on his bed? which I imagine is really upsetting for him. My dad's always been a proud, active and busy person - never allowing anyone to do anything for him and always wanting to do things for others. Don't think I've ever been this upset before, can't stop crying but I'm just so grateful he's alive. I can't even begin to imagine what he must be thinking; he's not one for complaining and just tells me he's fine. What can I do to help him?
Any advice would be gratefully received

Edited by silverlining, 17 January 2007 - 11:29 PM.

[InLoveWithLML]

Sorry to hear about your dads accident, I just wanted to let you know that i have found much encouragement, support and information here. My boyfriend is a C6 quadriplegic from a car accident. You have the right attitude in being thankful first and foremost that your dad is alive that is the most important thing and all other things in time can be worked out. I will pray for your continued strength throughout this ordeal and if there is anyway in which I can lend my assistance please don't hesitate to let me know!

Edited by InLoveWithLML, 15 January 2007 - 06:30 PM.

[silverlining]

Thank you InLoveWithLML thats very kind of you

[snol]

Hi silverlining sorry to hear about your dad. Im Paul 25 t/9 incomplete anything you want to know il try my best to answer for you.

[silverlining]

snol, on Jan 15 2007, 05:45 PM, said:

Hi silverlining sorry to hear about your dad. Im Paul 25 t/9 incomplete anything you want to know il try my best to answer for you.

If you have an idea on any of my original questions I'd love to hear them (although the majority probably only God can answer ) btw what part of Ireland are you from? my Dad's from Ireland, but lives here in the UK, not sure for how long now though have feeling he might want to move back home because of his accident.

Edited by silverlining, 17 January 2007 - 11:28 PM.

[sprog24]

HI, sorry to here about your dad, i think it would help u if u rung the SPINAL INJURIES ASSOCIATION HELPLINE O800 980 0501 they will be able to answer and help u and your dad with those numerous questions i know you have. The 1st thing to do in my opinion is to push as hard as u and your family can to get your dad into a dedicated spinal injury unit as soon as possible. My parents had to fight hard to get me into stoke mandeville, fortunately i got into stoke a week after my injury. Take care.

[silverlining]

sprog24, on Jan 15 2007, 06:36 PM, said:

The 1st thing to do in my opinion is to push as hard as u and your family can to get your dad into a dedicated spinal injury unit as soon as possible. My parents had to fight hard to get me into stoke mandeville, fortunately i got into stoke a week after my injury. Take care.

Thanks a lot I thought it was important for him to be transferred asap but everyone (not exaggerating) at the hospital seems so complacent, maybe it's because they see accidents like this everyday. I'm think I'll have to become a pest
Thanks ever so much for the number I'll be giving them a call, I'm sure my Mum and Brother will find it useful too.

[jenn2782]

I'm soo sorry to hear about your father. I really wish i could give you a hug right now. My fiance had a motorcycle accident in May of 2006 and is a T6/T7 para. Believe me everything is going to be very confusing for a long time. I've been dealing with this tragedy for 7 months now and sometimes I'm still not sure what I'm doing.

I've found alot of useful information and a lot of support on many different websites. I just recently found this one and think its wonderful. Your best bet to understand everything is to go to http://www.christoph...k.CC03/Home.htm. Send them an e-mail and they will send you an entire folder with extremely helpful information. I didn't know anything about spinal cord injuries before my fiance's accident either. But there is a ton of helpful/useful information on the web and plenty of support pages.

What exactly did they do to your father in the surgery? Rods and pins? My fiances accident was on a Sunday morning and his surgery wasn't until that tuesday. Some surgeons believe the the surgery should be performed immediatley while others think that it should be performed as soon as possible - rather sooner than later but as long as the patient is stable and someone else has a more life threatening injury they should be first. Now that I think about it, it is probably better that they wait a few days to insure nothing goes wrong.

Your dad is most likely going to be transferred to a rehabilatation hosptial. And believe me I had the worst experience while joey (my fiance) was in the "normal" hospital. Nobody would answer questions, they made it seem like everything was permanant, most of the nurses were rude (I'm sure due to being overworked) different nurses all the time, the doctor was never available, it was a really hard couple of weeks. Once your father is transferred to a rehabilatation facility it will be like a dream come true (for you and your family). The rehab joey went to was amazing. They let me stay over on the weekends, answered my questions, he had the same nurses all the time, and started physical therapy right away, he was able to interact with people with similar injuries, the doctor gave me his pager number and told me to page him whenever i needed a question answered.

Your going to learn alot. This is a life changing experience for your entire family. As far as your money concerns go, does your father have insurance? If so most of everything should be covered, if not there is help available through different state and goverenment programs and once your father is transferred to a rehab i'm sure he'll be assigned a case worker who will take care of alot of things for you because insurance companies suck and most of the time you will have to fight with them to get them to pay for anything ~ Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You can also start looking into fund raising programs too, heres the link for information http://www.transplantfund.org/ - don't mind the name it is for spinal cord injuries too.

As far as the bowel program the hospital should give him a sopoisitory (not sure I spelled that right) so that he will go. Again once he gets to the rehab center they will teach him how to do that himself or do it for him. It is going to be hard for the first few months ~ And I'm not trying to bring you down but the way I look at it is Things are going to have to get worse before they get better. Or at least thats what i have learned so far from my experience.

Every spinal cord injury is different and that is what makes predicting the future so hard. You just have to believe and stay positive. When Joey left the "normal hospital" he was classified and a t6/t7 ASIA A Complete injury, once he was admitted to the rehab and his body came out of spinal shock, he was classified as a T9 ASIA C Incomplete. From what I learned they won't be able to tell your fathers classification until after the he comes out of the spinal shock. But I stay positive, I beleive Joey will walk again even through I know the odds are against him.

This is all information from my personal experience. I hope this helps.

Here are some more helpful links
http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/
http://www.spinal-co...-assistance.htm

If you ever want to chat my aim name is blazed0603, my e-mail in Jenn0603@hotmail.com, and I also have a myspace page http://www.myspace.com/jenn2782

[miss piggy]

Hi silverlining
First of all i am sending you a big hug .My brother-in-law is a t12 .I can still remember how i felt when they told us he would never walk again .And how confusing things were .He was told he would have to wait months for a bed at Stoke Mandeville .but he only waited 4 weeks .We found the best advise we got was talking to other patients in stoke Mandeville .On the ward he was on we all became a little family .Helping each other ,crying together ,laughing with each other .I am the main care giver to my brother-in-law and i am still learning new things everyday .Don't put yourself under pressure to learn everything straight away . Take care

[Izziwhizzi]

Hi,
Deep breaths Silverlining!! Take it slowly - its not easy and you, your Dad & your family are learning & taking a lot in very quickly at the moment. Keep on crying - it does help.
If your Dad is T12 complete break (ie will not be able to walk again) as you suggest he will still be able to live a totally independant life looking after himself. He will not need to go to the loo on the bed after the initial injury is mended, no colostomy etc, but will be able once up and learnt to transfer to be able to use a toilet.
I'd advise that you keep pushing to get into Stanmore or Stoke Mandeville in Aylesbury Spinal Units asap where they are best suited & will do rehab/physio with him. If he needs a wheelchair they will help as to which ones are best for him, sort some and maybe if you are lucky all its funding.
He may need to change his car - most paras use auto boxes & get hand controls fitted. He will almost definately need to look at how he can live at home, if he needs a stair lift, adapt a bathroom etc.
If he had his accident at work he will want to look at compensation - which is a long subject but can result in a huge amount of money that will change life also. There are many compensation specialist solicitors (you don't use the ones on the high street or TV) - spinal units & SIA have lists & details.
Most rehab people say spinal bruising take a few months to mend before they can def say if a patient can walk again or not, but usually if they've done a back op on him & say he won't walk again you should say that is your possible worse case scenario and have that in your head. Any possible gain will be a bonus then.
What you can do to help him right now, today, is to be there for him & your Mum. Sort out stuff he needs from the outside world. Take in some tasty but light foods, hospital food is really crap after a couple of weeks - a nice fruit salad, a nice squash to go with water (but don't do too many of anything like grapes, fizzy drinks, chocolates), a home cooked meal. Get him an mp3 player with his favourite Cds on, find out & print things off on the internet for him, hope he can use his mobile in the hospital. Find out some trainers, soft jogging bottoms, t-shirts, comfy stuff for when he does start to get out of bed. Don't let him think he'll be a crip wearing jogging bottoms for life though!
Nursing staff can be very blase about patients - your Dad is just their job. They've never had it happen to them & they don't understand at all what it is like for you all to be given this massively life altering news.
But there is a good life to be had out there in the UK as a T12 para, with lots of active & enjoyable stuff, just maybe slightly different to what he did before. And loads you'll be able to do with him too.
Hope that helps a bit.
Big hugs!
L xx

[Andrew Meddings]

HI SILVER LINING GOOD ON YOU FOR DOING THE RESEARCH. I FOUND IT REALY HARD TO GET IMFORMATION AT FIRST. FIRST REACTION IS JUST FIX IT. THEN THE FEELING THAT YOU MUST BE THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO BE GOING THROUGH THIS BECAUSE NO ONE WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENNING. BASICLY IF THE SPINAL CHORD IS BROKEN THE INJURY IS DEFINATLY COMPLETE & WILL NOT IMPROVE. IF THE CHORD IS SQUASHED ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. MAYBE NO IMPROVEMENT SOMETIMES FULL RECOVERY ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
IF HE NEEDS WHEELS TO WALK LIFE WILL STILL GO ON. THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES IN HIS LIFE BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS FOR YOUR DAD & ALL THE FAMILY TO KEEP A POSSITIVE ATTITUDE . THE NEXT FEW MONTHS HE WILL BE LEARNING EVERYDAY LIVING SKILLS & CONCENTRATING ON BUILDING UP HIS STRENGTH. AS YOU WILL SEE FROM THIS SITE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU SEE A OBSTACLE DONT PANNIC , IF THER IS NO WAY AROUND IT GO OVER OR UNDER IT. FORUMS LIKE THESE ARE A GREAT SOURCE OF IMFORMATION . YOU CAN LEARN A LOT MORE FROM A LONG TERM WHEELIE THAN MOST OF THE OF THE MEDICS, ESPECIALLY THE TRICKS TO HELP MAKE LIFE EASIER
GOOD LUCK & DONT HESITATE TO ASK QUESTIONS
REGARDS ANDREW

[silverlining]

Thank you all for your replies they're not only helpful but comforting too. I'm confused at to whether his spinal cord was torn, one doctor said it was severed another said it was squashed beyond repair. Docs said today they wanted to move him to a hospital closer to our home whilst he waits to get into Stanmore, but I'm not sure this is the right thing to do, as it feels like we'd be starting again in trying to push to get him in to rehab. Feeling like a zombie at the mo, so will get a good nights sleep and start afresh tomorrow. I can't tell you how helpful it is having a forum like this. Thanks guys, eternally grateful.

Edited by silverlining, 17 January 2007 - 11:33 PM.