7 replies to this topic

[marigold]

Hi there

I've been reading all the posts but my query isn't quite answered by any of them. It's been about 5 or 6 years since my boyfriend had his accident. I met him about a year ago and we've been together ever since.

I absolutely adore him and we have recently been talking about getting married. Although I'm happy to ignore all the stupid comments and looks about 'what is she doing with someone with a disability', the ones that are playing on my mind are the ones about 'what will happen in the future'.

I think the suggestion is that I will eventually become his carer. Although when we are old, who knows what will happen (and you take someone for better or worse), I'm getting concerned that maybe I'm missing something - he's in his early thirties and very fit and doesn't need me to do anything, so I've been assuming we've probably got another 30 years or so before he'll need 'proper' care.

Is this right though? Can anyone point me in the direction of some information about aging and SCI? What are the main things that he'll need help with?

It may sound really selfish but before we get too involved, I want to have a rough idea of what I'm signing up for.

Sue

[Mary]

marigold, on Feb 1 2007, 04:55 PM, said:

Hi there

I've been reading all the posts but my query isn't quite answered by any of them. It's been about 5 or 6 years since my boyfriend had his accident. I met him about a year ago and we've been together ever since.

I absolutely adore him and we have recently been talking about getting married. Although I'm happy to ignore all the stupid comments and looks about 'what is she doing with someone with a disability', the ones that are playing on my mind are the ones about 'what will happen in the future'.

I think the suggestion is that I will eventually become his carer. Although when we are old, who knows what will happen (and you take someone for better or worse), I'm getting concerned that maybe I'm missing something - he's in his early thirties and very fit and doesn't need me to do anything, so I've been assuming we've probably got another 30 years or so before he'll need 'proper' care.

Is this right though? Can anyone point me in the direction of some information about aging and SCI? What are the main things that he'll need help with?

It may sound really selfish but before we get too involved, I want to have a rough idea of what I'm signing up for.

Sue

Hello Sue...welcome to the forum. Hope you get all your answers right here. Now....are you telling us that u r thinking abt the future in the sense of aging? And thats like 35 years to come? My God baby gal, why dont you live your life now and enjoy it instead of thinking so far off? You have not told us what your boyfriend's injury level is but you have stated that he is fully independent and does not need any help with most of the stuff as he gets it done himself so nothing much is gonna change even when he is 70, so enjoy life now otherwise thinking abt that will make aging so fast u wount believe it

[miss heather]

Hi Sue,

I'm also new here, and in a similar situation to yours. I also wonder about how aging will affect my boyfriend's ability to care for himself in the (very) long-term.
He is a C6 incomplete, and remarkably independent. There is really nothing he can't do for himself... but like you, I wonder about if/when he will need care as we get older (not that it will change my plans of being with him forever!) - not a concern, just a curiosity

Looking forward to other's replies...

[percepied]

Here's a bunch of articles about aging and SCI from the SCI Information Network, http://www.spinalcor...mp;return=24425

[miss heather]

extremely informative...
thanks so much Percepied!

[marigold]

Thanks - exactly what I was looking for.

Sue

[Becca82]

its funny, ive just read through some of the stuff on that link about aging and sci, and it doesnt look any different to how things are for us at the moment really, the pressue sores, bladder infections, kidney issues, muscle strength (what muscles??), shoulder pain, and weight gain, blimey, chance of that would be a fine thing, i dont think i could possibly feed him anymore, and yet hes still so skinny (doesnt help my weith though, all this eating!)!!!!
I guess things will be as they are now, just that we will be older!! Its me getting older that i worry about, how is my back going to hold out over the next however many years, and what happens if im no longer strong enough to pick my partner up etc!!
I know that none of you have said that your not going to stick around for the future if things change, but in my opinion, none of us have any idea about what is around the corner!
You have to stay positive, Medical advances are changing lives every day, and although im not talking specifically about walking again, you have to remember that not that long ago people with SCI were not given the chances that they are now.
I think what im trying to say is that life is generally much better now than it was say fifty yeaes ago, so who knows what will happen in the next 50 years!!

[LadyPilot]

percepied, on Feb 2 2007, 06:40 PM, said:

Here's a bunch of articles about aging and SCI from the SCI Information Network, http://www.spinalcor...mp;return=24425

Excellent source if info' I've just found the answers to some questions I had about myself!!Thanks