6 replies to this topic

[lil_feisty]

Hi everyone. First of all, I apologize because it has been a long time since I have posted anything. "Paraguy," my wonderful and amazing boyfriend of a year now, just recently experienced another tragedy in life.

His 17 year old son was tragically killed in a car accident this past January. These last couple of months have been such an awful, messed up time for him that I am at a loss as to how to help him other than to just "be there" when he needs me.

I honestly don't feel like that's enough though.

I guess that comes from my being a "Fixer," which I have come to believe that many of us are.. You know, one of those people who want to "fix" everything for everyone else and make it all right. Except this is yet another thing I can't fix.

I guess I came here today looking for prayers for my "paraguy" and any support or advice anyone may have as to how to comfort/help him...

I feel so lost!

Thanks and God bless you all!

[bigsmiles]

Lil feisty i am so sorry for what has happened this is so tragic and i can only imagine as hell. You keep on being strong for him as he will need so much comfort at this very sad time. As for the just being there well im sure this is everything to him right now and theres nothing else in the world that will make it better..only ease a little as time passes....special thoughts to you both

[ParaforGod]

Lil feisty,
Im so very sorry for your boyfriend and your loss. I haven't lost my child and I pray Im never faced with that, but I did lose my husband in the accident. My daughters Stepfather. You said you didn't feel like just being there is enough but I know when I lost my husband most the time I didn't need someone to do anything for me cause most the time I just needed someone to be there and listen to me. I needed to talk about him over and over and over. Talking about him was my way of keeping him alive and sorting out my feelings. I realize not everyone wants to talk, but just your being there shows you care. It shows him he doesn't have to face this by himself, he doesn't have to hurt alone. With my loss there wasn't anything anyone could do to fix it, but just having my daughter by my side day in and day out was more than any words that could be spoken or anything that could be done. As empty as I felt and as hard as it was it was a comfort just knowing my daughter was there. Just be there to hold him, and if and when he wants to talk no matter how many times you hear it just listen and share the memories. He's lucky to have you. Even though we don't always understand why things happen God is still so very good, and God will pull the both of you thru. You both are in my prayers.

[Joed]

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I'll be keeping you and your family in prayer.

ParaforGod, on Mar 15 2007, 09:41 PM, said:

...most the time I just needed someone to be there and listen to me. I needed to talk about him over and over and over. Talking about him was my way of keeping him alive and sorting out my feelings.

That's how I tend to work through grief too. I get out every photo I can find and talk, talk, talk.

I read somwhere...and I wish I could remember who said it, so to give them their due credit...that sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do for someone who has suffered a great loss, is to simply shed tears with them, quietly. The right words don't exist and never will, but the experience of sharing tears speaks a deeper language....and I believe it actually lessens the burden of their grief when it is shared in moments like that.

Please relay my sympathies to your boyfriend.

[Trail-Boss]

Prayers and hugs for ya...
We are so very sorry....

Trail-Boss and Stick-Tight

[lil_feisty]

Thanks so much to all of you!

Once again I turn to you all for help and guidance and again you never let me down. You don't kow how much I appreciate all of you.

ParaforGod, thanks for sharing. You helped me realize that all I can do is what I am already doing, which is holding him when he cries and shedding tears with him, and listening to him talk about his loss and his son. Thanks for letting me know that even though I wish I could do more, what I am doing is enough.

Paraguy and I will get through this in time... or at least learn to live with it... I'm just going to hold onto the faith that our love and God's will see us through it.

Thanks to you all for your prayers and your sympathy!

[MX Crash]

lil_feisty, on Mar 16 2007, 08:17 PM, said:

Thanks so much to all of you!

Once again I turn to you all for help and guidance and again you never let me down. You don't kow how much I appreciate all of you.

ParaforGod, thanks for sharing. You helped me realize that all I can do is what I am already doing, which is holding him when he cries and shedding tears with him, and listening to him talk about his loss and his son. Thanks for letting me know that even though I wish I could do more, what I am doing is enough.

Paraguy and I will get through this in time... or at least learn to live with it... I'm just going to hold onto the faith that our love and God's will see us through it.

Thanks to you all for your prayers and your sympathy!

Lil feisty,
First of all i would like to say is i'm truly sorry for your loss and all my prayers are with you . As a man thats been though a sci and the loss of people close to my heart all i can say is just be there for him. Time is the the healer of all pain and losses ,we never loses tract of the people we lose but chose to remeber the times we cairish the most about them. I'm sure you two will get though this tough time ,and tell him my prayers are with him.
Mxcrash