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#1 xeena

Newbie

Group: Members
Posts: 125
Joined: 18-April 07
Gender:Female
Country:Nigeria
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:T9

Post icon Posted 21 April 2007 - 03:13 PM

I recently broke off a 4 year relationship,well...it's more like i tried to do so....why? "I Cant walk again find someone else"...Dumb,Dumb ,Dumb ,I know and so does my bf think too, thats why his response is "I'm not going anywhere"
but aint i right to be doing this? I mean...

we met before the accident... i guess i'm just plain insecure.... It's easier if he met me in a chair rather than before and after...o help!!! I love him so much,but i'm making a real mess of us...

#2 bigsmiles

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 721
Joined: 01-June 06
Country:West Mids (uk)
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship: Friend is T6 / carer

Posted 21 April 2007 - 03:44 PM

Easier before or after? Now there’s a question . I’ve never had an easy one yet in all these years! (still hoping) All relationships are hard work at times and you only get back what you put in…well that’s my theory anyhow. If this guy wants you and you want him then great…enjoy . Ok so things were different before but that doesn’t have to mean the end…try making good out of what was a bad situation and work at things together…worth a try don’t you think? See if you come out the other end together…you know through think and thin .I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel now that things have changed for you but I’m trying to understand what it must be like…I understand that you feel insecure…tell him! So he can have a chance to make you feel secure . Ok so lots of people meet people after SCI and they don’t know them any different but they still have ups and downs like any other.
Hope things turn out well whatever happens

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent....Eleanor Roosevelt.

#3 juls

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 1,029
Joined: 22-July 06
Gender:Female
Country:Perth, Australia
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:c6/c7 incomplete

Posted 22 April 2007 - 02:20 AM

Hi Xeena,

I've been with my boyfriend for 10 yrs (i'm 27) we started going out 2 yrs before the accident and are still together 8 yrs after the accident..we have had LOT'S of ups and downs. It's hard on both of you adjusting to life with a sci.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to be with someone who didn't know me before my accident but on the other hand..I love the fact that Andy knew before..how I dressed, danced, played sport etc..
So maybe you should give your boyfriend a chance and see how it goes.